Random creative piece review?

I am bad too but bump anyway! <3

It's perfectly fine for a school creative writing piece.

Bare in mind he's in year 12 (16 year-old, whatever that is in whatever country you guys are in)

Looks decent enough? Maybe not for a 16-year-old but i guess it will pass? I couldn't say more without a marking sheet sorry!

>>8456798
It's fine for a 16-year old.

>>8456776
It's grating and reading beyond the first line is a chore. A lot of redundancies, and just too much information overall. Aside from that it's not awful for 16, but it's not particularly good either.

Is this for a class, or a club?

Class i think?

What prompt/topic is it meant to be addressing?

Not sure about topic, if you mind waiting 2 minutes I could ask?

>>8456811
No, I do not mind at all. Please ask.

A memory trigger was the prompt

>>8456817
It isn't very interesting and doesn't really grab my attention. But I guess that it's satisfactory for a memory trigger prompt. I also don't really understand this sentence: "Made me realise how easy life can turn on you and to live it to the fullest while I could".

>>8456817
I guess this is really the best you can do with a shit prompt like that.

It's due tomorrow, isn't it?

>>8456830
Dont know, why?

>>8456830
All I remember was sometime this week

>>8456832
idk, it just reads like something that he HAD to get done, rather than something that he wanted to do.

>>8456839
yeah that would make sense - He has a habit of handing things in last-minute lol

>>8456841
I hope he gets an okay score. I would do some more specific crit, but I'd rather sleep 2bh. Maybe some other time.

nice story OP i mean Op's "little brother"

>>8456776

Tell your "little brother" to find real friends and do his own homework.