Greentext the plot of your new novel

>Wake up bouncing on bed as if I was dropped
>Entire neighborhood is gone
>See kangaroo stare and walk (not normal cuz not in Ausfailia)
>Call police but no answer
>Run to car but theres creepy koalas in the way
>Gtfo of town to try and find civilization
>Turns out aliens abducted everyone and disguised themselves as marsupials because Australia was the last place they visited and they thought people liked them

>>8452821
ayy

How do I do it if the narrative is non-linear?

>guy goes to college and is lonly
>wants hot goth gf
>tries a bunch of drugged sluts but none want to fuck him or even be his gf
>is still lonly but now majorly misanthropic

>>8452967
is this based on a true story

>four fundamental forces of the universe are replaced with faith based equivalents
>creationism is true but includes all the fucked up occult shot
>god and the devil represent differing outcomes of quantum states based on the intent of the observer

>>8452943
>Can't green text it but thinks he can write it

>A Terrorist kills bus load of people
>In the tlafter life his punishment is to suffer the deaths all his victims would have had he not killed them
>In his second to last life he relizes he can alter the events the lead to the deaths
>In his last life (his own) he fails to properly change anything and suffers the punishment over again.

>memoir written in the far future
>about an ageless (not immortal) being that crash lands onto a new world
>most of the book is him journeying around a fantasy-esque medieval continent and slowly assimilating into their society
>main plot point of the novel is him converting to the indigenous religion
>wanders the continent again but in the light of the Three Deities (The Sun, The Dark Moon in the Day, and The Pale Moon at Night)
>his journey is mixed in with the 'historical' legends of the world at the time
>basically ends with him wandering around trying to convert other non-believers

It's a smallish book, more to introduce the condition of this ageless narrator, and how he'll come to affect later stories in my series.

>>8453262
Good concept. Ending leaves me flat

I am writing a whole novel about a single act of anal sex. I am on page ~230 right now.

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>>8453823
can you send me a copy of our draft?
sounds hot af

>be nice to eachother
>communicate more effectively
>have a civilization that actually works

>>8453823
that sounds like it could either be extremely interesting or extremely uninteresting, depending on your skill as a writer. post an excerpt

>>8453827
N-no. I am keeping it private.

I am afraid that descriptions of smell, taste, touch etc. are putting the pornographic part into the background, if that's what you wanna read. I spend several pages describing each thrust or lick or fart sometimes.

>>8452943
please don't bother

>rurall/mini hospital
>lesbian junior doctor meets lesbian senior doctor
>(three years of age difference only because age play is top 3 overrated meme in lesbian community)
>senior doctor is hardworking sassy bitch who hasn't accepted her degeneracy completely
>junior doctor has accepted it, very dependable at work, but her childish manners give her a bad image
>junior doctor is part of an unforeseen and non-preventable event (which she actually manages excellently) that causes a patient to die
>but the stress of the event itself and rumors about it making her infamous at the hospital get to her
>senior doctor reaches out to junior
>cue physician "professional and self development" and "degeneracy acceptance" fueled by ethical and professional discussion and lesbian sex
>they do become a couple eventually but the road ahead isn't very straight (huehue)

The story is thus a combination of a severe lack of lesbian fiction in my language, and the fact that people somehow love reading and watching doctor stuff

>>8453262
Yes. fuck happy endings

>>8454924
We want to see it even more so now Anon.

>>8454924

>fart

>>>/d/
>>>/v/

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>>8455873
Farts are perfectly acceptable on /lit/

>Set on an off shore oil rig
>Suddenly Wendigos

I havnt gotten further then that

>>8452802
>I fuck
>Do Big Cume
>Weiny XD
>Get Arrest
>4CHAN!
>Profit?

true story

>>8456598
sounds interesting anon

>>8456605
Thanks, my mum is helping me :)

>>8453262
>suffers deaths all his victims would have had
>can alter events that lead to the deaths
I assume this refers to the bus bomb deaths but if he can alter the events towards that then in all the earlier lives he wouldnt have altered them and the bus bomb would have killed them. So he wouldnt manage to live to die the other way.
And if its just altering the normal deaths then what does it matter he still dies for each of them.

>wehrmacht soldier during operation weserubung

>Peruvian kid chases his pet runt of the litter llama across the plateaus and mountains
>finally catches him but on his way back they are caught by banditos who kill his llama and rape him before leaving him for dead on the mountainside
>feels so ashamed he cant go back to his village and decides to head for Lima
>gets to Lima and becomes friends with a couple of older street urchins
>gets raped by a drunk man and decides maybe Peru is not for him
>sneaks on to a boat to Europe but gets discovered
>they let him stay but only if he lets all the homo sailors use his ass
>2 months and 4 chapters of sex and we're in Paris
>kid thinks he has AIDs
>goes to a nice doctor who starts to help him out for free because the kid reminds him of his wife who was from Peru
>kid gets scared he is gonna get raped again and leaves
>he decides the safest place to go is probably the middle east because people get stoned for gay sex there
>tries to work out how to get there but doesnt even have a GCSE in geography so doesnt know where anything is
>dreams about his llama
>ends up in Denmark because he really doesnt know his geography
>goes to Elsinore
>meets a qt danish girl
>she marries him but he dies of AIDs whilst she is pregnant with his AIDs riddled child

>>8456983
Gay.

>Be Caveman
>Be stronk
>Bash people with ruks
>SUDDENLY More Stronker
>Bash more people wit ruks
>Over time devolves into a generic xianxia main character

Cyberpunk novel

>MC is a fugitive ex-supersoldier
>genetically modified
>years ago his parent military organisation was absorbed by a rival one, MC was the poster boy for them with shittonnes of medals
>became disillusioned with the new management, started a full-scale rebellion
>ended up getting nearly everyone under his command killed in the process, including childhood friends
>in the aftermath he escaped, but lost all conviction for his cause due to the crushing grief and regret
>lays low for a few years and ends up in Shanghai working as a freelance merc for the criminal underworld (under a new identity)
>all is good until a heist goes south and he loses his full-face helmet in the shootout
>CCTV captures it
>face is fucked up from the war enough that facial recognition software won't work
>however, the operative investigating the botched heist recognises him from the war
>full-on manhunt ensues, MC must escape the all-powerful organisation out for his blood

It's basically a vehicle for some cool actions scenes, some cool technoporn (anyone in a combat role is either gene-modded or outfitted with combat prosthetics, or both) and some grisly-ass violence. Even though it's cyberpunk, it's basically all military. No hacking, and no 'resistance' movement. Corporate warfare by proxy gangs and sabotage is the name of the game.

I had 12 chapters written 2 years ago before I realised that I had almost no plot and I'd started in the wrong place. It's matured since then, and I'm just starting to get it written on a consistent basis.

Wish me luck bros

>>8457560

Good luck bro.

>>8457560
Would read as cyber-anything gives me a chub. Guilty pleasure.

Good luck.

>>8457499
sounds boring desu

>>8457560
good luck anon.

>>8453823
No, the modernist era is a bit further back. You came to the post-modernist one. Try again.

>>8457560

Dude, I'd read something like that

>>8453226
Do you know very much about science? Because the consequences of modifying the fundamental forces would be absurdly drastic. You can do away with that first point.

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>>8455474
>degeneracy
>>>/pol/

>>8457560
Sounds good but I'd start from the point when he's in Shanghai otherwise it'll drag out too long.

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>Morelia, southwest Mexico,1997
>MC is in last year of med school
>smart and talented, but feels med school it's not quite right for him
>parents are divorced, mother is out living it around the world, father is obsessed with work (also a doctor)
>his younger sister is a cunt and a nuisance, an alcoholic teenage NEET
>between med school and having to look after his sister while doing his best to keep their house clean, he is quite dissatisfied with how his life is turning out
>one day his father announces he is going back to Spain, he is now fully responsible for the house and his sister
>hours before his father's flight, he says fuck it and takes the car
>drives into the Mexican Sierra
>stops at a small town, Querendaro, an hour away from Morelia
>he goes into a bar, not sure what he is doing, running away?
>sees a beautiful young woman, looks familiar
>the woman turns out to be his highschool crush, Aurora
>she had left for Colombia after their graduation because she was pregnant, she married the father of her child
>she ran away from them, came back to see her family and go to college and make her life
>they realize they are both running, and decide to take a road trip through the Mexican Sierra together
>MC hopes he can win her heart, and maybe shine a light upon his life
>Aurora just wants to put his old life behind... and that includes the MC when their road trip is over

but oh boy, they are in for a ride, and things will not exactly go as expected

SORY FOR BAD ENGRISH, NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

pic related it my inspiration for Aurora

>assassin goes to find his missing master
>gets lost on the way, both physically and mentally
>does everything BUT finding his master, his original mission
>it's quite deep and philosophical tbqh

>Modern world.
>Story is about the three OG (original ganster) of the country's biggest gang and their fall.
>No.1 has charisma, ambition, vision. He is the leader.
>No.2 has intelligent.
>No.3 has strength.
>The three used to be brothers-in-arm. They lost the war and fleed back to their country, got pitied by people.
>The three make ends meet by manual labour at a factory.
>Before they know, they gathered bunch of other under their command. They became some sort of trades union at first.
>More and more people join the union. The new gorvernment decided to use the union as some sort of their minion and put reign over people more.
>No.1 and no.2 want to accept as a way of themselves and the workers, but no.3 do not want to. Finally, he got persuaded.
>The union becomes more and more corrupted with more thugs and smugglers' participation. They start to do bad things as the gorvernment's request: drug-trading, ask people money for "protection", force poor girls into prostitution, etc.
>Most of the original workers flee or got killed when they oppose the bad things. The union is filled with thugs, smugglers, etc. and really becomes a gang. No.3 wanted to leave, too, but got his wife and son taken.
>They gang do arm-trading without the gorvernment's notice . No.3 got persuaded again that the gang will do a revolt and agree to work for the gang again.
>They finally do the revolt. They lost at first, but despite of the bad things they have done, No.1 persuaded the local about the coup and when the gang almost got annihilated, people decided to help them.
>The gang, uniting with people, after lots of hardship (lots get killed, wounded, capture as POW and tortured), finally they got control over their city.
>The gorvenment attack with everything they can (tank, airplane, etc.) and success, kill everybody.
>It is like hell-on-earth, but we see a sprout right next to the pile of corpses.
>It is implied that people in other cities are revolting too, the gorvenment is having trouble to put everything undercontrol.

Roast me, e/lit/ists.

>>8460128
doesn't this already exist? i know it's a bit different, but "fling on a roadtrip through the sierra" is basically y tu mama tambien wey

>>8456724
I thought that at first as well. Maybe he means the bomber lives each victem's whole life leading up to the bus bombing, possibly to become the sole surviror in their respective timelines.

>>8459916
Yeah, the main book takes place in Shanghai. Everything before that point is told either in the prologue, really short flashbacks, or passing exposition.

>>8460357
What country is this taking place in? If it's a fictional one, people might not be emotionally invested in it. It it's a real one, you need to be realistic with the political relations and ramifications.
The end sounds far too simplistic for such a complex premise. Total war is always a last resort. Realistically, if a military power wanted to destroy an enemy located in one area they wouldn't bomb it flat. Cities have resources, especially one with a prominent manufacturing sector such as you've described. They'd be more likely to blockade it until the populace got fed up and staged a coup, deposing the leaders and making a deal to end the blockade. People lose allegiance pretty fast when faced with starvation.

>>8454381
Jesus anon don't come in here with that high fantasy trash

>>8460561
The country should be based on Vietnam and its culture. The story maybe some sort of "what if American has won the war". I am just simplifying the plot. It should take the gang more than ten years or something to create their root, more than twenty years to be able to do arm trading and ten years more to plan the revolt. No 2 must have some sort of hidden plan (develop agricultural lands, guerilla war tactics, etc.) that is suppose to be success with most of local's approval, but for 40 years, 3/4 people really do not care or think it is a nuisance. Only some of them agree with the plan when the others betray or do things to stop the revolt. Also, the government should do something like "devide and conquer", which basically isolate the country's land. Plus, the gang should be able to free the land for a while, but not breaking the borders of that "divide and conquer".

You are right about the gorvenment's tactic: they should bomb the land, building and do something something. Maybe the end will hint No.3 is heavily wounded, but successfully get out of the border.

I think I will have to do make the character as complex as possible, having many forces, wishes that drive them arround. I should make them slowly change as things happen. At first, the three OG feel terribly bad about their action and its sequenses, no.3 should want to kill himself but could not and then decide to quit, but no.1 successfully think and persuades himself thrn no.3. Maybe we will have the three are the ones who stop an other revolt by the veterans like themselves and it makes they think a lot about people and the country, slowly change from "brutal to survive" to "brutal to greater good".

Fuck it if my writing confuse you as I make lots of grammar mistake and typos. I am at my company and typing by my phone. I am not a native English speaker either.

When I am home, I will find my notes and post something more. I did like 20k words drafts and notes for important things, but have never tried writing because it is more time consuming than lurking /lit/.

>>8452802
>Simple farmboy gets godlike powers
>Spend the next few million years slowly understanding them, as he has no idea he had any powers at start
>Wanders the galaxy (jumping situation and genre as I write what I want, with pointless badass action littering the plot)
>(Actually does have complex meta arcs with resolution, if anyone reads long enough, length is projected to be crazy long)

About to start my fifth restart on this, have changed tool sets many times as it breaks things, now trying an Emacs setup I made just for this.

It still needs a title and a pen name.

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This is actually the first novel idea I had, which I'm only posting because I don't intend to develop it as it is shitty edgy YA genre fiction.

>MC is orphaned street urchin that pickpockets something very valuable belonging to mafia leader
>eventually gets tracked down and caught, but mafia leader is impressed by MCs resourcefullness and decides to take him under his wing
>MC grows up becoming an infamous assassin in the criminal underground
>rival mafia creates elaborate plan to assassinate MC by using another street urchin girl as a distraction
>assassination fails
>MC noticing the similarity between girl's situation and his as a child and decide to take care of her
>MC doesn't want girl to have the same life he has had, so enrolls her to be schooled in a legitimate trade
>time passes
>girl meets guy at trade school, they have some chemistry but she doesn't get serious about it
>guy, being spoiled and used to getting his way, tries to force himself on girl
>in the struggle, girl manages to kill the guy
>PLOT TWIST: guy is mafia leader's son
>mafia leader captures MC and girl
>being very butthurt, he slowly and gruesomely kills girl infront of MC
>MC snaps, triggering awakening of latent magical power, goes completely postal and kills everyone

That is the first of five arcs in the story. I'll continue the rest if anyone cares. It doesn't get better, but at least it has flaming zombies.

>>8460377
What I'm writting is different, I believe, both in tone and theme, even if the setting is the same.

>>8453265
>>8457560
These sound interesting

>>8456983
you made me laugh out loud :~)

>Man meets girl
>Man wrestles with love versus duty

>le allegory of the cave
>BUT IN REVERSE
>also ITS IN LIKE, THE MODERN DAY MAAAAN!!!
>everyone is outside "the cave" at the outset
>everyone is scrambling to get back inside the cave to be an ideal versions of themselves
>sea of SSRIs, alcoholics anonymous, tony robbins seminars, 4 hour work days

2nd plot, outlined with actual plot
>le ebin cool urban hipster dirtbag
>is broke
>reconnects with HS friend
>HS friend is le ebin hackerman in college, out on parole for hosting data from a publishing company (need to figure out if thats fucking possible)
>le ebin hipster tries to convince ebin hackerman about new get rich scheme
>ebin hipster co-opts SJW protests and embezzles all the george soros/corporate sponsorship cash and enrons the accounts
>hides the cash in physical assets bought in private (diamonds, artwork)

>tfw can't decide on an idea because I have so many but they all feel incomplete

>25 year old man mourns brother who died 10 years ago
>Dies in a car accident
>Wakes up in the universe of the afterlife, where injuries heal, laws of physics are lessened, and everyone tries to act out their dreams from their past lives (super heroes, villains, pop stars, etc.)
>Protagonist is forced to search for his brother while encountering multiple people who have given up on living decently and/or remembering their past lives and friends

Really shit, but imagine it good

>guys there's two moons
>no there isnt
>yes there is one of them is invisible, I need an escort to a magical lost observatory
>no. thats retarded
>hello im an evil wizard, heres your money
>okay lets go
>see look I was right
>now lets sail this boat to the moon
>wow there are lots of moon men here
>undead moon men
>they're dormant, they need souls or something
>shit

>>8453262
Reminds me of Flight

>>8455909
I hope you're not using the /x/-style "LETMEINNN" burning-blood-scented wendigo.

Because out of all the bullshit /x/ is responsible for perpetuating over the years, that's what I take the most offense at.

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>>8452802
>MC is a young Soviet soldier in 1950s.
>Gets sent on an obscure mission in Siberia to find something.
>Small unit of soldiers (about 13) go, but captain won't tell them why.
>Go into spooky scary skeleton woods.
>Soldiers begin to feel sick, nauseous, etc. Local villages they pass through have all been abandoned and windows are bricked up.
>One night they begin to get slowly picked off by unknown creature. It cleverly fucks with their minds and shit.
>Captain finally tells them why they're there.
>Slightly before WW2 Stalin wanted to cross apes with women to create supersoldiers.
>It failed.
>Instead the scientist in charge of the operation, to avoid execution/imprisonment/whatever, used local folk-magic to summon a demon.
>Demon was released around Leningrad during WW2 to terrify and harass the German troops, spread fear ("The Red Curse" or whatever).
>After Leningrad they couldn't find the demon again and now MC's unit has been sent to find it.
>Demon slowly starts picking them off.
>Find local Russian bad-ass whose family have been killing these things for generations. He saves MC's life.
>Later on they basically trap and burn the demon.
Kinda like Predator but with an /x/ style twist.

>>8465497
very good, very spooky. throw in some well written characters and I'm buying

>>8461976
Sounds like a modern, more childish Oliver Twist.

I'd recommend you watch the film "Leon the Professional" if you haven't already. Some parallels there. I won't spoil it, you'll understand if you see the movie.

I'd also recommend changing your MC status from "infamous super assassin" to skilled, well known assassin to alleviate some of the Mary Sue you've got going on. Maybe there could be some inner turmoil about how the MC is by and large well know not entirely for his skills, but his association with the mob. So basically, MC piggybacks on the mobs infamy.

Not a bad idea for a YA novel, but I encourage you to try to rout some of the cliche. At least some.

Good luck.

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Can anyone recommend some books with subtle supernatural/strange elements? Not outright fantasy or something of the like, but rather subtle oddity in the world? Something like The Metamorphosis, where there are very strange events that are either generally discarded or accepted by people although acknowledged as strange? Or even sort of urban legend like?

I've got an idea but I'm not sure how to go about the formation of the world and setting. I know the emotion I want to display and/or elicit, but I'm having trouble imagining it in any way but vaguely.

>>8466320
Sound slike the plot of dog soldiers desu

>>8466455
I haven't actually seen that but having watched the trailer and read the synopsis I think mine will be tonally and narrative-ly different enough to stand on its own.
I want mine to be quite agoraphobic, but Dog Soldiers looks like more of a castle-defense style horror.

>>8452802
Short story concept working through
>Ancient Egyptian child dies
>Ushabti made
>Ushabti guides him through the unique and mysterious ancient egyptian afterlife, subtly raising ponderances about the very nature of existence and self awareness.

>>8466320
Needs some tweaking. Very deus ex machina plot armor.

Keep in mind it is not in bad taste to kill your MC when there is no feasible way to help them reach survival. How much do you know about your demon?

Fantasy novel
>Muggle painter comes to town looking to paint the perfect scene
>A little girl becomes interested in her works
>Little girl's best friend(also a little girl) becomes jealous
>Novel ends with little girl A leaving town to explore the world

>>8468104
> muggle

What is this, Harry Potter? I'd recommend using a different word.

Also, that's a very bare-bones synopsis.

Could be good. I like the exploring the world part. Made me think of His Dark Materials.

Will there be a sequel?

>modern fantasy world
>no elves or orcs or shit, just humans with magic
>work at police department as consultant involving magical cases
>because you're too bad to make money with actual magic in the industry
>bunch of people confess to the same murder, describing it perfectly
>can't find a body tho and nobody can tell where they murdered that girl
>later have a memory in a jar sent to police department
>watch it because why not
>relive memory of that murder as viewed by the murderer
>fucks you pretty up
>no real evidence tho, so...
>watch again and again to try and "remember" little details which would indicate a location or the identity of either murderer or victim
>find real location later
>start having murderous thoughts
>but you're the good guy
>more memory jars
>the murders start to line up with more of a ritual
>ritual to gain lots of power
>...
>now if you'd just complete your ritual and easily pin the blame on someone else...

>>8468109
In the actual thing she'd just be called a talentless member of society but for the sake of brevity in greentext, it was easier to just say muggle.

I've already thought up a lot of other plot details for what would happen years later when the little girl's grown up and her best friend leaves town to search for her or whatnit but I felt it was best to just concentrate on writing out what I already have first before worrying about trying to pen a multi-volume story.

>>8453262
this is a very good idea but will work a lot better with a happy ending where he succeeds. it wraps up far better

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>>8468191
Cool, cool. Sounds like something I'd read for fun. A nice adventure story, with s om fantasy in the mix. Pretty interesting.

Speaking of fantasy, is there magic? What kind of fantasy are we talking here?

Anyway, hope it gets finished and published. Let me know when I can read it.

Short summary:
>an attempted coup in the United Kingdom ends in chaos and the downfall of its society

Less shorter summary:
>monarchy had been disbanded a while before through a fairly peaceful process, but a prominent section of society felt strong opposition to the idea that Britain was losing its identity in favour of becoming a standard republic so that section of society and some associates in the military stage a coup to bring back the monarchy but fuck it up completely and the country descends into third-world anarchy

>>8468202
I haven't thought too much on the exact system I want to use yet, sadly. I wanted to have the little girl be good with water magic, and the best friend with plant magic, to show the best friend's reliance on the little girl symbolically, but other than that I haven't worked much out.

It's actually quite encouraging to see someone on an anonymous image board actually reply at all so, I'll do my best and get it finished soon.

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>>8452802
>Rich family has kid
>Wants him to be proper and continue the family legacy
>Kid hangs out with rednecks instead
>Shoots things and does drugs, goes /out/ a lot
>Fast forward, kid joins specialized operations and cuts contact from family
>Fast forward even more, his parents are dead and his sister hires people to kill him before the will is acted upon so she receives all of it.
>He kills them and then kills her
>Receives a shitload of money
>Fast forward even more
>Hes in his mid 30s and his mental health is not deemed fit for service
>He spends a few years doing psychedelics and Disassociates in a cheap apartment while his money just sits there
>All of a sudden an ISIS-like organization begins taking territory from failed states
>He hires a ton of PMCs and buys vehicles with his parents money (Several billion dollars)
>Invades and occupies pretty fast, discovers trillions worth of oil and minerals
>Fakes conversion to islam and builds up a national Identity as his new nation keeps expanding
>NATO is riding his ass at every move, eventually he gets nukes and it comes to a big standoff
>His mental health keeps deteriorating and his drug use keeps increasing, occasionally he goes into fugue states or has trips where he completely fabricates parts of his life and the reader has to decide whats real and whats not.
Its not like im ever gonna write it

>>8456983
>Nobody rapes each other in the middle east
They have the same mentality as prison niggers when it comes to fucking men.
He should go there and get turked

>early 1950s
>an Italian journalist at an inconsequential newspaper based mainly out of Ravenna is sent out to write a "scathing" article that's essentially a throwaway about the possible imperialist issues in Turkey, as revenge for anti-Italy sentiments in Nazim Hikmet's Letters To Tarantu Babu, a collection of poems published about 15 years prior and now mostly irrelevant
>his friend, a poet now living in Rome, tags along for qualia and change of setting in a vain attempt to get some good writing down in an epic he is writing
>the two travel through the rural, urban, and governmental life of turkey, and a nearly magical realist storyline is shaped both from the emotions/perceptions of the characters, as well as the warpings of reality in the accounts of events in the interviews and the dialogues
>they're basically interviewing senile or biased people, whose stories take up whole episodes of the book and form several Marquez-esque plot lines beneath
>whole novel is based on subjectivity of history and the increasing divides of academia/government from practical life
>but wait
>its entire structure is based off of the divine comedy, like Ulysses did with The Odyssey

>>8460738
Honestly if you made it a quiet existentialist book where this Godlike figure is basically a simple child I wouldn't mind at all

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>>8452802
It's like

Naked Lunch + Fear and Loathing + The Contortionist's Handbook

>angry alcoholic spic likes to fuck himself up with immense quantities of alcohol
>is also an identity faker
>creates four different identities to go running amok in random cities and countries doing all sorts of criminal shit and then pretending that the guy he was impersonating was either killed or suicided, in order to escape
>becomes part of a black magic bizarre cult that believes in telekinesis and psychic powers
>learns how to snoop into the future
>uses this ritual to look into the future and get lottery numbers, gets his hands in 200 million
>decides to go in a fucked up journey through the US and other countries' fun cities in order to get each of his four major monikers in a lot of trouble and then kill them all off
>has a bunch of weirdos alternating to follow him as he collects guns, picks fights, fucks a ton of bitches and does more alcohol in a few weeks than the human being should do in ten lifetimes
>fucks a ladyboy fag with a very feminine face and long hair and likes it
>fucks a ton of plump thick female slags in obscene cruel detail
>enters several fist-fights everywhere he goes, eventually going into shootouts
>starts sensing that there is someone calling for him all the way up from Europe or Russia (using some telekinetic shit)
>his jewess fuck buddy who thinks she's his gf wants his help because there is somebody trying to pop a cap in her
>has something to do with the cult
>shit is fucked, some kind of inter-dimensional guard is at them for his breach of time-line
>imgoingdownshooting.jpeg
>meets a russian buddy who's a complete psycho and introduces him to a fucked up drink that combines absynth, paint thinner, pure ethanol, angeldust and all sorts of dangerous substances.
>all narrated in a stream-of-consciousness, rabid, angry rambling series of vignettes that work both as scenes and rants where he says a ton of triggering shit

>group of highschool girls hate their teacher
>they tell the police that the teacher touches them naughtily
>he gets arrested
>years later gets released
>takes revenge on the girls by actually raping them one by one

>>8460128
Is that girl Mexican? I thought Mexicans were ugly but she a qt. She's a shtiskin but what can you do about that.

>>8468365
This sounds pretty fascinating. Who would you say are your influences? Bolano maybe?

>>8468398
The thing that makes Naked Lunch and Fear and Loathing is that the authors lived that life, and it's quite apparent in the books. You haven't and it's quite apparent in your post.

>>8464432
The Matrix already did it.

>girl have sex and finds out she has curse
>some time after sex partner die in violent way
> then two storylines:
>1 a partner tries avoid dying because finds out of the curse
>2 the girl turns into a racist anti immigrant and tries stopping immigration fucking niggas
>finnally girl marries a transgender that would eventually kill the first guy

true story

>>8468365
This sounds pretty good, like it would make a good /lit/ tier novel.

>>8468398
This is cringe worthy, my friend. Like the fantasy of an edgy 15 year old.

>>8460128
Ya lo terminó?

>>8470498
It actually is super Bolano-inspired, but also with Borges, Gaddis, Marquez, Flann O Brien, etc

>>8470561
Thanks dude

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>In his early teens, protagonist looses his entire family in a vampiric home invasion
>Is left alive for some reason
>Nobody believes him after the trauma, the murders get blamed on a local street gang and what he saw is dismissed as a way for an adolescent mind to cope with the atrocities
>Years later, just as he's begun to find his footing in life, he spots what appears to have been the leader of said home invasion on a crowded street
>Desperate for some sort of closure, even at the cost of his life, he tails him, towards an alleyway, trough a hidden door
>Inside the vampire's den, though not directly harassed, it is obvious to the protagonist that his presence is known, and descending a staircase he braces himself for whatever may come
>A fate interrupted when a rag-tag group of creature hunters bursts in trough boarded up windows and other entrances, mascaraing the vampires in a highly coordinated attack, with a cruelty that almost puts what the protagonist had to go trough to shame
>He himself is almost put to the stake, but is saved by one of the hunters who recognizes that he's human
>One that happens to be a prolific figure on the America's Most Wanted list
>Probing theme for answers, it turns out these are all people who have lost friends and family members to the supernatural at some point, that decided to take the fight back and seek out like minded people to share in their war
>This puts them on odds with the government, because of the highly illegal ways in which they often operate, but mostly because there seems to exist a conspiracy or a truce between those in power and whatever darkness might be out there
>Protag begs to join them, they hesitantly accept, being aware of his case and knowing all to well how it is to be on your own
>Thus begins his training and trials by fire, where it quickly becomes apparent that he who fights with monsters must outdo them in their brutality, learn to live off the grid and love the liberation that comes with it
>Things are going well and yet... something is wrong.
>His comrades seem to be keeping something from him. And why is it that, amidst wounds and even casualties, he seems to be the only member to always make of without a scratch, even during times where his lack of experience should have gotten him killed...

>>8470720
Y'know, you hear so many ideas on this site that you think are brilliant, then the thread dissqpears and you never hear about them again. I wish there was a way of keeping tabs on certain projects in threads like this.

What are you planning to do with this novel whhen you finish it? I'd be super interested in reading it once its done, but even if you do manage to publish it, I doubt I'll ever find it, just cause there are so many books out there.

>>8470742
It's only just past the fully planned stage now and I'm waiting until some real life shit cools down before delving into writing

I'm a terrible writer though so it might be a while, but if it gets published ever /lit/ will be the first to know

>>8470755
I wouldnt even wait till it's published. It sounds like the kind of book that might take a long time to publish, since /lit/core is so niche nowadays.

I'd post a thread when its finished (and then another one if it gets published).

>>8470767
Alrighty, fair enough
Thanks for the enthusiasm dude, wasn't sure if the concept was cliche but now at the very least I know the book will be a disappointment as opposed to an outright failure

>>8453262
I love it. Would definitely read. Great idea, honestly.

>>8468195
Strongly disagree - The ending is what really makes it.

>>8470773
Does it have a name?

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this is actually going to be a comic once I can draw shit a 3rd as good as pic related
>story takes place in a universe that's falling apart
>people and things just fall from the sky or shift into existence ( cavemen,Emilia air heart, eldritch monsters, robots etc)
>no way out so everybody just co exists in a shitty mad max world that's constantly changing called the badlands
>protagonist is a mercenary who came to this world when he tried to kill himself
>he is tasked by a cult to locate "the catalyst" a young girl who has the power to open a way out of the badlands
>the antagonist is maniac who killed his family and himself
>ends up in the badlands believing he was put here for a purpose
>believes the people here are unfit for the like of heaven and hell
>wants to kill the catalyst
oc do not steal

>>8470824
Not as of yet

>>8452802
It's going to be an adaption of jewish and christian mythology
>about the fall of the sons of God (angels)
>taking note of God's favoritism toward humanity and his troublesome relationship with it, they head to earth to investigate
>they live with sporadic bouts of free will and other thanvthat live outside of time, on a set path
>experience emotion differently than humans, are very alien
>share science, art, etc... with humans, become friendly
>become enamoured by the seemingly free and self-determining nature of humanity
>the nature to love God is aroused in them toward humanity due to it's self-determination and Godlessness
>angels fuck bitches
>babies are nephilim
>not at this point yet, but it wil span past the deluge then skip to the apocolypse

>>8452802
>guy hooks up with girl at party
>they start dating
>it's a disaster
>he starts dating her roommate
>he keeps selling her xanax
>a mutual friend of theirs hooks up with her but everyone thinks he's a rapist
>he suffers a series of accidents
>they all hang out on new year's eve
>he ends up hurting the girl really badly
>months go by
>the mutual friend gets addicted to heroin
>the guy is selling it to him and undermining everything else in his life
>the mutual friend stalks the girl
>the girl tells him to fuck off and decides to move away
>the guy's girlfriend (the roommate) finds out about what he did to the mutual friend and leaves him
>the girl sees the guy again and he tells her she can have the money he made off of this chump
>she asks him why
>he asks her if she's ever really felt guilty

>>8471035
>writing a book about your shitty uninteresting love life
Cmon man, have some imagination

>>8470737
I liked this up until the last bit about the special power or whatever. Atmosphere sounds fun, but protag development is dumb imo.

>>8471096
Yes, I'm aware of how "special snowflake" that sounds when presented like that, but without giving too much away, I'm planing to subvert that quite a bit.

>>8452802
>a yuppie couple adopts a 10 yo boy who 5 yrs later gets involved in their sex games

D-d-does this have any potential, lads? The theme of the novel would be criticism of degeneracy and hedonism.

>>8471276
>criticism

>>8468038
The demon was going to be a kind of wendigo-devil crossbreed; cloven hooves, red eyes, goatie, very agile, very intelligent, sets traps and ruses for the soldiers.

>all around the world, every person experiences the same dream.
>in this dream they all live an entire lifetime, and for this lifetime, they are every moment complete
>in this night, most of the world's population vanishes without a trace, all the animals dissapear, and all those who remain are made immortal
>among the survivors, the will to live is universally gone
>gone is the capacity to experience joy, to experience fulfillment
>the remaining world is soon filled with flagellants, unwilling to live, but incapable of death
>Our character marches through the forest, reflecting on his place in the new world.
>Our character constructs a cross, and crucifies himself, hoping somehow to redeem himself

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>>8466379
>Sounds like a modern, more childish Oliver Twist.
I haven't read Oliver Twist, but now I'm intrigued so I'll bump it up my list. Based on skimming the plot and themes of Oliver Twist though I can't say the rest of acts 2-5 would carry much resemblance.

>I'd recommend you watch the film "Leon the Professional" if you haven't already.
I have seen that movie. I can't deny it wasn't an influence, but I only noticed the similarity after the fact.

>I'd also recommend changing your MC status from "infamous super assassin" to skilled, well known assassin to alleviate some of the Mary Sue you've got going on.
I never viewed him as a "super" assassin. even those magical powers aren't his, strictly speaking. In retrospect MC doesn't need to be an assassin, I only thought of that as a reason for why the mob would decide not to kill him for stealing their shit. MC could be taken in as a thief though, which would actually make more sense given that is why he got in the mess in the first place. Would also make some of the subplots, foreshadowing and world building easier.

>Maybe there could be some inner turmoil about how the MC is by and large well know not entirely for his skills, but his association with the mob. So basically, MC piggybacks on the mobs infamy.
I do have some ideas regarding how MC doesn't really like being a part of the mob. Especially how the mob boss is extremely brutal in how he tends to deal with those that cross him. MC has plenty of other inner turmoil issues to work with though. One is terribly cliche though, but I don't know how to avoid it.

>Not a bad idea for a YA novel, but I encourage you to try to rout some of the cliche. At least some.
The whole MC + daughteru cliche is actually not strictly speaking required for this story as it plays very little purpose after the first act.

I have been working on another story that crucially revolves around this theme. So, I have been thinking about removing this whole aspect from the first story and replacing it with something new. The only key part that needs to remain in the first act without having to change much of the rest of the story the awakening of the magical powers, but there are many other ways to achieve that.

>Good luck.
Thanks, your critique is appreciated. While I didn't plan to work on this when I posted the greentext, In all honesty since then I have started remembering more about the rest of the story and world I developed in my head, so I have started itching to work on it. Even if it is shit it might still be worthwhile to write simply to gain experience.

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>>8468247
>I wanted to have the little girl be good with water magic, and the best friend with plant magic, to show the best friend's reliance on the little girl symbolically
Sounds comfy, would read.

>Brilliant, rational med student transported via fuckery to magical high fantasy world
>His knowledge of fantasy cliches and the genre in general make him appear to be a third-wall breaking mad comedy character amongst an otherwise serious party of adventurers
>Nobody believes him, everyone thinks he's some kind of seer for being able to predict how the adventure will play out
>He starts fucking with the genre, sequence breaking, killing big bad guys early etc.
>Turns out the tropes and cliches were part of the boundary conditions for the magical universe, which is why everyone was constrained by them
>Realising he's the only one who can break the rules, he just cuts loose, raping, killing, doing absolutely whatever he wants because nobody can stop him
>An expedition from his original world arrives, having invented a portal or something
>He becomes a case study for how important social rules and expectations keep even the most rational people from turning into animals

>>8471488
>His knowledge of fantasy cliches and the genre in general make him appear to be a third-wall breaking mad comedy character amongst an otherwise serious party of adventurers
this is not really original

>>8471270
God luck then

>>8471469

who's the girl in the pic?

she looks like a skinnier version of my oneitis

>>8471488
This would require some great execution to not fail terribly.

>>8471035
YAWN

>>8460243
I like it allot.

>>8472120
Yukari Akiyama, from Girls und Panzer.

>>8470873
sounds good

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>>8473141
thanks anon, the no replies where starting to worry me

It's about a guy with a dick for a head

(From an old skypechat, somewhat obsolete and rambling, but...)
>It's set on the Ribbon World but that's not important to understand the general idea. All names are tenative.
>The hero is Adat gaKier, the frst and last Tërpat of Shayaril. He's in exile in Osheiæ, which is one of the two warring dynasties of the kaYekun Empire- it's open to trade and degenerate, while the other, Kizi, is closed and ultrareactionary hyperconservative. He fled there in asylum after his brief empire in his home country was overthrown.
>However, the Emperor-Heir is selling him out to a Shayaril Song-Prince in exchange for some Technicians (like sorcerors). So he's going to flee so he has a chance to live, but first he leaves his memoirs with a prince (of Osheiæ) he's grown close to. So that's the prologue, and the rest of the book is his life story.
>So Shayaril are a country of small states of various sorts (like ancient Greece or Phœnicia), which share a common language and culture and such. The people are tall and bronze-skinned, with four eyes and black or brown or bronze hair. There used to be an advanced Empire there, about a thousand years ago, but in the Day of the Blades every written word turned into blades, including the blood of everyone literate and everyone descended from anyone who was literate. So there's really not much record of what the Empire was like, because mostly only the serfs survived. Though the old Imperial family is now worshipped as cthonic lords by Shayaril's urban population, since they are regarded to have conquered and raped and enslaved the "Uncles", that is, the nature-gods.
>Anyway, though something else happened in the far western part of the Old Empire (because there was an illiterate Justin I like officer in high rank there; it's become the Silver-blood Kingdom) the peasants basically had to start from scratch and build their own civilization. They had a high regard for poets though, so their standard dialect and their (new) written language were driven by the old songs and the wish of nobles to write them down for decoration.
>At some point, they worked out how to communicate in the language of the "demons" or Black Ones, which are advanced two-mouthed beings who come "from the opposite side". How they do this is pretty interesting, I can explain if you want. But the point is, the Black Technicians can summon these creatures and trade enormous feasts of delightful food for the demon's... technology? I'm not -quite- sure whether they get knowledge or objects. But anyway these Black Technicians are aligned with a single university, not with any of the individual states. But they've enhanced this literate, trading people's already considerable wealth, and so the Song-Princes admire rather than fear them.

>>8473968
>Anyway Adat's life is something like this: he was born poor as an ox-blood brewer's son. The population in Shayaril's cities is growing insanely because of the Black Ones' technology, so the cliffs are covered in Kowloon-like apartments looking out onto the streets, and there are so many, thousands even tens of thousands even hundreds of thousands even millions of persons. And little Adat is very disturbed by this and wants to remove this terrifying unæsthetic bloat on the population.
>Anyway somehow he becomes a servant, and somehow he is able to attend the Black Technicians' university. But after studying for a while he's so disgusted by their witchcraft he abandons it, and flees to the court of a poor Song-Prince.
>Anyway he uses his insights to rally several poor principalities against the Black Technicians' influence, and his knowledge of their ways to reverse-engineer some technology and equip his patrons' armies with them. Or something.
>So he conquers and unifies a good amount of Shayaril, and begins rebuilding the culture along his æsthetic ideals, which are rather puritan and pessimistic, with a strange high regard for the nature-gods (at least their mythology) and the old poems. Maybe he courts a wife at some point, but it won't work out. Also he starts burning down and genociding the high-population cliff-cities.
>There's going to be a bit here were he vists an old wealthy Masked Venlit about Marduk, but that's not of plot consequence, only world-building and thematic meaning. I'll explain who Marduk and his folk and the Masked Venlitil are later.
>Anyway maybe ten or fifteen years of minor warfare and consolidation occur, but the heir of a prominent conquered Song-Prince and the remaining Black Technicians have fled to the Silverblood Kingdom, and Adat knows that they'll create abominations to destroy him if they have the time. So his armies invade first, but fail.
>So he loads up his ships with riches and flees to Osheiæ for asylum, and that leads into the opening, which is of course also the ending.
>So it's about disgust at the world and religious despair and finding one's own path and the inability of even the virtuous to affect history for the better. Or something like that.
>The Black Ones too.
>And Marduk- especially Marduk.
>And the Ribbon World itself.
>The point is to be bizarre; to show the fallacy of the of induction and the presumption of knowledge. And to be æsthetic, of course.
>I mean he's never poor, I shouldn't have said that, he's like middle-class at birth.
>So- Marduk.
>To the south of Shayaril is a great sea, on the other side lie Yekunil, and to the south of that lie strange principalites, mountains, and the edge of the world. To the west of Shayaril is the Silverbloods' Kingdom, to the east are barbarous lands of wyrms.

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>>8473971
>Now, Shayaril lies on a mix of steppes and mountains & canyons- some being the buildings of the Old Empire. To the west are more steppes, to the east are more mountains. To the north is a vast desert, eventually boxed in by mountains. There used to be kingdoms and peoples here, but Marduk has destroyed them or made them flee to anywhere else.
>From the northeastern mountains came the gypsy-like people who infests Shayaril's cities, disgusting and dance-worshipping a three-legged, three-armed, three-faced pot-bellied golden idol.
>But beyond the northwest mountains there used to be a desert kingdom, bordering on an inland sea. And in the vast desert, between mountains and upon the sea, lives Marduk and his folk.
>That desert kingdom, perhaps five hundred years ago, was advanced and prosperous. Marduk, then unknown, came to them and offered them a place in his entourage. They declined. And in one night the entire great city-kingdom was destroyed by palaces built in the still-living hollowed-out bodies of crimson wyrms, and all its people were left impaled, their bodies somehow inverted while they still lived.
>So. Marduk rules an enormous train of palaces built on and in the hollowed-out bodies of still-living dragons. Of course he has horsemen and footsoldiers traveling along his great parade. The dance around the desert, overflowing with riches of no unabsurd source. Occasionally they'll destroy some nearby minor kingdom, and Marduk warns all who visit him that he will destroy them if they do not follow him. But in five hundred years he has hardly moved.
>Those soldiers outside the great caravan are tall, muscular, swarthy, and all men. They too drink of the dragons' blood and seed, but they never tire, though they wear full army.
>But those inside Marduk's palaces, these are what is meant by "the folk of Marduk". They live in endless pleasure and decadence, surrounded by the most luxurious riches, ever feasting and drinking and making love, above all partaking of the drug of the dragons' fluids. Their skin is a light fair bronze, almost gold in some lights, deathly pale in others; their hair is completely black, and their eyes are red. The men wear small goatees, and their hair is done like an Achæmenid's; smirks are ever on their face. The women are unbelievably soft and lovely. On their faces they are ever blushing. They are arrayed in rich robes and golden garments.
>Marduk himself is not entirely unlike them. But he is clean-shaven like a woman, and his hair is not voluminous like the rest's. Moreover, he has no blush, but a colder gaze. On his forhead he wears a golden star, sort of like the emblem of the Hittites. He says that he is God, that he created the entirety of this world, and that the only ethical purpose of all who live it is to partake in his feast and join his ecstasies.

>>8473973
>Now, Marduk fills all outside with lust and terror. His riches are great, and literally endless and overflowing. But if you drink of the dragons' fluid, if he learns your name, if he even sees your face, you are his.
>Obviously as many come to join him as do flee from him.
>But some- these Masked Venlitil- are desirous of the pleasures and riches, but wish to keep their freedom. Therefore, they abandon their names, sew masks to their faces, and join Marduk in his revelries. They spend decades within, carefully avoiding the dragons' fluids while Marduk smirks at them. And all the while they are carrying out the palaces the endless wealth, and selling it for their financial gain.
>Some remain there forever. A few, however, retire to Shayaril or such in the most fabulous decadence- though why they leave so great a pleasure is rather mysterious, and most intend to return.
>As for the Black Ones' language and how the Technicians deal with it:
>1) All speech or actions in their language, even accidental, have a tendency to attract their attention, and if so interested they will respond. While of course there are plentiful stories of one being summoned by a peasant making an odd noise or tripping and catching himself in an off manner, and thereafter slaughtering and eating the entire village in wrath at having been seen, this chance increases with both the length of the utterance or gesture, and -especially- with the -speaker's having so spoken before-.
>2) This means that a Technician cannot use any element of the language outside of a Calling or Intercourse without putting himself in extremely grave peril. Therefore they must strictly regulate their speech, writing, drawing, and very motions of their body.
>(In case this wasn't clear, the Black Ones refuse to be seen under pain of death (and they do enjoy eating humans a great deal), and it's probable that the first Black Technician was a particularly clever one of these peasants.)
>3) The Black Ones have two mouths, one above the other, and both are used in their speech. Moreover, being alien, much of their language- spoken, writen, and gestural- is irreproducable by humans.
>4) The written language is three-dimensional, and is an extremely complex system of phonograms and ideograms, all based on a very ancient form of the language and all images stylized to the level of the Arabic or Latin alphabets, with two simultaneous lines (one for each mouth). Basically imagine three-dimensional two-lined Ptolemaic-level-obscuritarianist carved alien Japanese. Sometimes words require voids to be made -inside- the object, without touching open air; obviously one cannot reproduce this without Black One technology.

>>8473978

>5) The Technicians have invented a new spoken, written, and gestural language with a one-to-one correspondence to the Black One's actual language, which they use in talking about the langauge or in rehearsals. One can use the original language itself without summoning, but the demands for these cartouches are even more complex and ritualistic. Most Technicians learn by watching.
>6) Hence the Technicians' rituals and conversations with the creatures more or less consist of two of them singing and dancing and carving about before a great veiled eating-table where the "demon" is.
>As for the Silverbloods' Kingdom: as I mentioned, they're of a similiar race to the Shayaril, and their language is of the same family, but with many more cases and tenses than the Shayaril's three or four, being closer to the Old Imperial dialect.
>The Royal Family is, as I said, descended from a local imperial commander and his family, who had risen from peasantdom on talent, but were illiterate and so survived the Day of Blades.
>All members of the Royal Family have the familiar bronze skin, but silver-white hair worn long.
>The "Royal Family" composes tens if not hundreds of thousands of indiduals. They are the only ones allowed to read and write, leave the country, or really be anything other than rightsless slaves and serfs. This is of course in emulation of the Old Empire.
>Because everyone of any standing is a Royal, the kingdom is pretty much actually run like a republic or democracy.
>Breeding is heavily regulated to avoid the dysgenic effects of incest or defiling the royal bloodline. To allow the Silverbloods vent for their desires, trap and reverse-trap slaves are used for the males and females respectively. This of course has led to an epidemic of homosexuality.
>(For their part, the Shayaril usually impale sodomites.)
>They're like the Poles, the Elves, the ancient Greeks, the the Saudis, and the Old South rolled into one awful civilization.
>And I guess they're also a bit like the Byzantines.

you know all your stories look like a trash movie taken from a book all played by the same actor that happen to be adam sandler, but in the form of words right?

>>8470720

dont say borges name invane

I'm currently writing this one, but this is the actual plot.
>MC is a normal high school boy you can find anywhere
>Girls suddenly want his dick for no apparent reason
>Smug_BetaAnimeMC_sounds_familiar.jpg
>PLOT TWIST: Magic exists and Magical people(Girls) are the bad guys
>PLOT TWIST: The story is actually edgy with rape and murder everywhere
>PLOT TWIST: MC actually has powers that make girls want his dick just by having physical contact with them
>MC is forced to murder innocent victims just to save people.
>As the story goes on, everyone(All the bros he meets and girls who stay away from MC because they are aware of his power) is starting to hate on MC, except for the girls influenced by his powers of course.
>MC is completely alone by the end of the story. Everyone hates him, except for the girls influenced by his powers of course. But the girl's feelings are empty and the MC knows it.
>Final PLOT TWIST: Multi-dimention shit actually exists and this story is just part of a bigger story, in which the current MC is just a side character. The Mainer character recruits our main character and says that everything will be alright.

Oh, and by the way, the story is a comedy. Technically speaking, even with no happy ending, It didn't really end so it still counts as comedy.

I'm having fun writing this, but I've started taking it more and more seriously, I think.

>1974
>Two amateur Dutch treasure hunters, a brother and a sister
>brother speaks a bunch of languages
>sister is good with machines, engines and tinkering
>both history buffs
>they figure out a hidden message in the fable of an old Dutch pirate that causes them to go to Panama to look for his treasure since they now think they know where it is
>they meet a middle aged Polish doctor that has seen and done a lot of things
>turns out he is interested in the treasure too but never took the initiative to go out looking for it because he's an alchoholic and kind of a loser
>they end up teaming up
>brother gets badly hurt but has his life saved early on by the Polish doctor and recovers throughout the story
>they learn how the story of the pirate differs greatly from the history
>they follow the trail of the pirate that leads them all around the world

?

too cliché?

>>8474294
I'm just saying he's an inspiration senpai, not saying i'm anywhere near as good

Hell, if you're inspired by Bolano but not Borges you're probably kinda missing the point of the former anyway

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>>8474726
Reminds me of pic related.

>a middle-aged tennis instructor, preparing to instruct his son in tennis, becomes intoxicated in the family’s garage and subjects his son to a rambling monologue while the son weeps and perspires