what will you read to your future children and why?

>>8433532
The Hobbit. So they can never enjoy the world again

This is an antinatalist board, friend

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>>8433532
Greek mythology and Grim Brothers uncensored. That'll toughen the little bitch up

>>8433532
Natalism is cancer. One day I'll shoot up a nursery to liberate them from the horrors of existence

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>>8433571
>>8433542

is this a troll or are you guys being dead ass right now

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The Iliad

>>8433571
It's only horrible if you're ugly

>>8433576
Postironic
Sincerity is a spook

>>8433532

R.L. Stevenson - To develop a sense of adventure
Jack London - To expose them to a realistic outlook on the struggle of existence
The Lord of the Rings - To introduce relatively complex notions and topics (the function of myth, the consequences of industrialism, ecology, etc.) in a fun and exciting manner
Greek mythology - for cultural development

rate

>>8433576
Ligotcha

>>8433532
Little Prince

>>8433532

Infinite jest for the memes

>>8433532
Lolita.
>>8433609
0/10

>Ovid for every greek myth workth knowing translated by me into baby-speak into kiddy-speak into whatever level thy are at.
>Growing them up with the Metamorphoses can introduce them to Odysseus and once the are older the Iliad, Odyssey and Aeneid.
>Subtly drop to my myth loving kids about Beowolf and Grendel until they beg me to teach them it
>build an incentive wherein their own teaching of the myths takes precedent so that they eventually stop reading them and just perform them
>introduce them to Shakespearen quotes throughout so once I begin to teach them Shakespeare again they recognise quotes and concepts and its more engaging and enjoyable until I eventually upgrade them to normal Shakespeare
P A T R I C I A N S

>tfw elaborated chart to make my son comprehend every Ulysses in-joke and reference before being 14 years old

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I'm just going to use Bloom's Western Canon Jr. Guide:

>HomeArts: Why should children read? And why should children read good books?

>Bloom: To be coldly pragmatic about it, reading good books will make them more interesting both to themselves and to others. And it is by becoming more interesting--and this sounds callous, but it's true, I think--that by becoming more interesting both to oneself and to others, one develops a sense of one's separate and distinct self.
>So if children are to individuate themselves, they will not do it by watching television, or by playing video games, or by listening to rock, or by watching rock videos. They will individuate themselves by being alone with a book, by being alone with the poetry of William Blake or A. E. Housman, or being alone with Norse mythology or The Wind in the Willows.
>http://www.mrbauld.com/bloomjr.html

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My kids like D'Auliares Norse and Greek stuff, Illustrated Classics, Grimm's fairytales and stuff like pic related. Hobbit was very popular for a 6 year old. Reading Rainbow selections and Caldecott award winners are also popular.

Reading Canterville Ghost right now, pretty funny stuff.

All the presumably kids saying they are going to read their kids Ovid and Verse and even stuff like this the Little Prince are either ignoring the first 10 years, or forgetting that little kids get bored as fuck if there arent tons of pictures to go with what you are saying.

Also, if you go to the library with them the key is to ask what they want to read about, then get them the best book from that genre.

If they want to read about knights, an illustrated tales of Arthur, or something like that is ideal.

>>8433930
Post your kids' feet

>>8433930
mate Little Prince was awesome when I was a kid
But yeah other than that I'd only give them abridged picture versions of classics or just generally build them up with simpler stuff before hitching out into myth and basic classics

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>>8433916
As far as Blooms kids canon, ive tried most of it.

Abridged and illustrated versions of Jack London, Lewis Carrol, Norse Myths, Macbeth and Hamlet (! but yeah Bruce Coville does sick adaptations of Shakespeare), , Robert Louis Stevenson, Kipling (especially Rikki Tikki Tavi) all went over well.

Most popular are Poe's poems The Raven, The Haunted Castle, The Sleeper, Annabelle Lee, and pic related.

Biggest failure is Wind in the Willows, its boring as fuck after reading an illustrated Iliad

>>8433953
The little prince is pretty dense and you cant get abridged, but my kids are younger so...

>>8433532
If I have a daughter she won't be allowed to read.

Women shouldn't be alowed to read.

I certainly will be careful introducing John Green to my children.

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>>8433967
>I value internet culture wars more than the success of my own family

Degenerate

>>8433532
probably lovecraft, howard, and faulkner.
at least when they're babies. dont suppose they care or understand the story, just wanna hear me.

>>8433976
The only success a woman can found is a loving husband.

>>8433984
Shame you aren't.

>>8433976
I bet you associate with women

Cuck

>>8433988
I am not a loving husband because love is not real and the only ones using such words are retards and pseuds.

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>>8433980
>Try reading Conan to daughter
>lots of quivering loins and heads split to the sternum
>read pic related instead

>>8433995
Are other emotions not real? What seperates love/infatuation from anger, disgust, happiness?

>>8433609
Yeah I agree with that other guy
0/10 you are a pretentious faggot

Just read them some grand fantasies so they have the imagination to escape the world you cruelly brought them into.

Also kill yourself and don't have children.

>>8433532
Skippy jon jones

Scuttle's big wish

>>8434040
skippy jon jones sucks, Olivia, Clifford, Berenstein(ain?), Little Critter and Arthur is way better

I've tried to get my four year old son into Plato but he just doesn't seem to be getting it. Even the plebbiest dialogues like The Republic go right over his head. desu I'm considering just letting him be an idiot and watch tv/play smartphone games 24/7 and hope the one I have on the way is smarter.

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>not instilling the fear of medusa and the minotaur at a young age

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>>8434049
"Loki is a jerk"

-My daughter

>>8433532
tom sawyer

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>>8433532

>>8433532
Biographies of great men or women, and we'll move on to philosophy in grade school. My child will never touch the mind toxin that is fiction.

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>>8433532
Its better he learn sooner rather than later.

>>8434313
is there a more /lit/ picture?

>>8433532
My family has been passing down Disney fairy tale anthologies since the 1940s. They are old as dirt, and are for the most part in good shape.

In terms of new stuff, probably The Little Prince and Dr. Seuss. We'll see what contemporary children's authors have available when the time comes.

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>future

>>8433996
im not going to raise my daughter to be a faggot, anon ;^O

>>8434331
And, felicitously, no woman will ever touch the toxin that is your penis.

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>>8433532
Pic related, because my mom read it to be when I was a kid. Maybe Ender's Game and other solid books with young protagonists.

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>>8433532
pic related.

It is your duty as a parent to rid your child's mind of the globalist brainwashing that now exists in our schools.

>>8433571
Antinatalism is a meme which has been thoroughly trounced by philosophers in recent years.

>Implying that I'll ever procreate

>>8433960
>Wind in the Willows
>Boring
Leave this place and never return.

>>8433532
This is one of the things I love about the idea of having children. To instill in them a love of reading and knowledge the same way my mother did for me.

I will of course read them the child-friendly classics. Charles Dickens, Moby Dick, Brothers Grimm, things like that. Then Lord of the Rings, Narnia, I Robot, Harry Potter, various other more modern and fantastic works. I want them to have imagination.

And poetry. Lots of poetry. My mother often read me poetry and nursery rhymes at bed time and I learned to love it. I would beg her to read me T.S. Eliot, who became an enduring favorite.

I've actually saved some of the simpler books I enjoyed when I was very very young to give to my children, and I hope to pass on all my books eventually.

Hopefully someday I will be a good father.

>>8433867
10/10

The Ego and its Own
Atlas Shrugged
The Fountainhead

>>8433532
tintin

>>8433532
the 13 1/2 lives of captain bluebear. in superior german original of course, but yall plebs can pick up the english translation on amazon for like 30 cents. its one of those rare childrens books that are entertaining and imaginative enough to be fun for any age

>>8435138
plus, it'll strengthen their vocabulary cause it's actually pretty verbose

>>8433532
I wouldn't read them anything. I'd teach them to read, then make them read to me. Then I'd make them write a critique and read that to me too. Depending on how insightful the answer I might not beat them that day. Little shits need to earn my love.

Good thing I'm never going to have kids though.

>>8433907
I wish you'd been my dad, anon.

>>8435107
>harry potter
>slipped in next to those titles

get the fuck out of here Rowling you're not fooling anyone.

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my children will learn to read on their own and not be literate retards that need me to build the fucking words for them

Holes.

The Indian in the Cupboard (my favourite series).

Harry Potter.

After the must-reads are out of the way I will move on to the Greeks.

>>8434027
Love is not an emotion but a concept.

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Oscar Wilde's children stories

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>inflicting life upon the non-being

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Jon Klassen

>>8433532
Moomins.

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>>8435996
being born is like being kidnapped into slavery

- Andy "the dandy man" Warhaul

>>8433891
>Lolita

You disgust me.

>>8433532
Jules Verne and Arthur Conan Doyle for early age. Then entry level stuff like Salinger and Orwell for early teens

>>8436007
fuck yeah

also, pic related. i think my 19 month old would like it now, except he'd want to turn the pages to quickly. i need "ickle me, pickle me, tickle me, too" turned into a board book.

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>>8436156
shit. forgot pic.

NATALISTS OUT

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>>8436282
>NATALISTS /OUT/
ftfy :)

>>8434676
benatar's "better never to have been" will blow you the fuck out

>>8434676
how can i tell so easily that you have basically no knowledge of philosophy?

>>8436025
http://lithub.com/men-explain-lolita-to-me/

>>8436296
Does that baby have bigger arms than you brah?

>>8436791
Good article

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is antinatalism the edgiest ideology out there, /lit/?

>>8438593
Antinatalism is the most moral ideology.

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>>8433532
this. little fucker should learn about death right away.