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Can someone recommend poetry like the only poem I ever wrote? I really don't want shitty "classic" poetry that you have to analyze and doesn't just feel natural to read.
I can feel the spiders in my mind beginning to awaken and slowly crawl out of their holes, ready to rebuild their webs after a tired sleep, avoiding the light. and the dust slowly settles on my mind as I slowly regress into a state of suspended animation. as my mind grows colder, and more and more dim, i can feel myself growing weaker, and the light in my eyes begins to fade as the last rays of sunshine blinks out from my window. and I die on the inside.
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>>8380103
>CRAWLING IN MY SKIN
what the fuck are you twelve you emo bitch?
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>>8380105
stop right there anon, you've violated the law. now pay the fine or serve your time.
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>>8380103
Your diary desu.
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>>8380103
Fucking subject/verb agreement, OP. "the last rays of sunshine BLINK out from my window."
Don't say slowly twice in a row ("slowly settles/ slowly regress")---use your thesaurus.
Don't use a lowercase "i" once.
Other than that, it's awful. Don't listen to so much Linkin Park or whatever is fueling this.
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>>8381805
>Fucking subject/verb agreement, OP. "the last rays of sunshine BLINK out from my window."
It's a poem. The nigga can do shit like that if a nigga wants. Your second suggestion is good. Your fourth suggestion is good.
But maybe you're right altogether, as OP is clearly a neophyte.
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kek
it's bad
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Things (Fleur Adcock)
>There are worse things than having behaved foolishly in public.
>There are worse things than these miniature betrayals,
>committed or endured or suspected; there are worse things
>than not being able to sleep for thinking about them.
>It is 5 a.m. All the worse things come stalking in
>and stand icily about the bed looking worse and worse
>and worse.
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