May I have honest feedback?

I'll bite, Haylie.

You're doing the right thing. Most people on this board are not, it would seem, actual writers. Actual writers just write and write and don't worry about what exactly needs to be read (i.e. 90% of the fucking threads here). They think for themselves, and they do it for themselves (mostly).

That you would be asking for feedback HERE is dangerous - but that you wrote all this is good.

In my opinion, there is some elegant writing. Some of it is very fucking obnoxious. But it is only obnoxious because of the elegance. There's a better balance to be had. These throwaway entries can be cute, but don't overuse them, and don't oversimplify them.

I only read to page 70 but I would probably accept this piece as finished and move on. You can do much better.

Also - I get the impression you're at least bipolar... That's a good and bad thing.

Thank you for sharing. You have actual talent, and that really means something. Keep working, even when you aren't feeling manic.

>>8376433
I appreciate your feedback, thank you.

>>8376433
Are there any particular places you would recommend for literary critiques, anon?

>>8376210
I like it. I'm not one to critique poetry though, so any advice I could give you would not be worth a damn. Keep going at it, though. You've got talent.

le 0/0 = 1
ebin xDD!!!

>>8376854
No particular place, towards the end there is slightly more content and more "switching modes". Any critiquing will be appreciated though.

>>8376862
Thank you

>>8376889
lol I'm not sure if you mean epic fail or epic win, but thanks for posting.

>>8376433
This is sound advice. Anon usually spends most of its time trying to decide what to like to be a patrician. Good writers like what they like and write what they want, in my opinion. Otherwise there wouldn't be any change.

>>8376210
I have gotten to page 22 and this is pretty bad. You had a good line somewhere about a shell breaking. It was short and vague but it was better than the rest because it was actually concrete rather than abstract.

Entry 15 is barely better because it is at least focused on one thing but adds nothing to the image.

Who are your favorite poets. With offense intended so you can get better, this is exactly the shit I had to read when I was head of the lit mag at my high school. 800 submissions of this.

Then entry 19 shows up and I am wondering if this is bait, because 19 is at least trying.

Is this bait.

>>8377109

It is what it is. I appreciate your feedback. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

>>8377169
Who are your favorite poets?

>>8377243
I have no favorites. Believe me when I say, “I understand that my lack of education limits me.” It’s even mentioned in the book (Entry:71 - troll style). I am working on it.

But to be honest...
I do not want to emulate another writer. I cannot compete with the masters.

This is not a book of poetry. It just so happens to contain poems. I was literal in the preface, “This book is a literary illustration of my journey through the cycles of mania."

All I'd like is to see your reactions here. Whether you think it's good, great, shit, or bait; this is all that I could ask for.