Did John Green actually write that?

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I start:

"I followed him upstairs, losing ground as I made my
way up slowly, stairs not being a field of expertise for my
lungs.

And then we were out of Jesus's heart and in the
parking lot, the spring air just on the cold side of perfect,
the late-afternoon light heavenly in its hurtfulness."

Come on, don't tell me you are now tired of meme green. Afraid of being exposed as a pseud?

>>8366796
Too much work for /lit/. We're too exhausted from attempting to starve ourselves to death to participate in this.

does he have a weird head shape or is it his shitty hairline?

>>8366600

>“Because of the self-confidence with which he had spoken, no one could tell whether what he said was very clever or very stupid.”

it's Tolstoy.

underrated thread

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She had a drink with Stephanie. Rebecca started an argument because she was jealous of Stephanie. In her anger Hilda said she didn't like Rebecca's greenishness. They drank together. Hilda said that at one point she did like Rebecca's greenishness, but no longer. Hilda added to the fire by saying that she can continue loving Rebecca in spite of her condition. Rebecca is angered - she doesn't want it that way. They come to the conclusion that there are important parts of all of us which must be gazed past.

I was surprised to learn that John is a Christian. Anglican, too

>>8368042
That most Catholic of heresies.

>>8368042
John Green was right all along...

>>8367432
agreed. bump

>>8368061
Scotch Lucitherite detected.

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> Did John Green Actually Write That?

Sounds like a title a /lit/izen would use for their unpublished novel.

>>8366600
Kek, I thought of this same thread and didn't even look in the catalog.

Do more you gays.

>>8366603
Ima go with no

>>8368061
Eh, depends. Some of it is, some of it is uber-prot. Institutional Anglicanism is preeeety Catholic though.

Quality thread, bumped

>>8370207

I'm guessing Carl Sagan.

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What about this one?

"Here will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything."

Who wrote this? Your science fiction writer or the magnificent Green?

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"Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water. When she closed her eyes at last, Dany did not know whether she would be strong enough to open them again"

>>8366603
Not Green.

>>8368019
Not Green.

http://www.cbc.ca/books/2015/07/who-said-it-john-green-or-anne-of-green-gables.html

>>8370211
That's Green.

>>8370249
So easy I don't even want to answer it.

>>8366603
Fault in our Arse

>>8370249
what the actual fuck

>>8370249
GoT right?

>>8366808
war and peace, didn't even need to spoil it.

which one of the Kurágunin was it? i'm guessing Anatole.

also, isn't it in the first 100 pages?

>>8370211
to melodramatic. that's greene. Camus would have written it better.

>>8370249
that's GRRM's most famous quote.

here comes back my lunch

>"Why can't i have someone to talk to?" I said. The stars said nothing, but i pretended to ignore the rudeness

to easy IMO

>It was in the spectral summer when the moon shone down on the old garden where I wandered; the spectral summer of narcotic flowers and humid seas of foliage that bring wild and many-coloured dreams. And as I walked by the shallow crystal stream I saw unwonted ripples tipped with yellow light, as if those placid waters were drawn on in resistless currents to strange oceans that are not in the world. Silent and sparkling, bright and baleful, those moon-cursed waters hurried I knew not whither; whilst from the embowered banks white lotos blossoms fluttered one by one in the opiate night-wind and dropped despairingly into the stream, swirling away horribly under the arched, carven bridge, and staring back with the sinister resignation of calm, dead faces.

fuck, i'd forgotten how god his description was, back to reading

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“What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”

“One swing set, well worn but structurally sound, seeks new home. Make memories with your kid or kids so that someday he or she or they will look into the backyard and feel the ache of sentimentality as desperately as I did this afternoon. It's all fragile and fleeting, dear reader, but with this swing set, your child(ren) will be introduced to the ups and downs of human life gently and safely, and may also learn the most important lesson of all: No matter how hard you kick, no matter how high you get, you can't go all the way around.”

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“The truth is you already know what it's like. You already know the difference between the size and speed of everything that flashes through you and the tiny inadequate bit of it all you can ever let anyone know. As though inside you is this enormous room full of what seems like everything in the whole universe at one time or another and yet the only parts that get out have to somehow squeeze out through one of those tiny keyholes you see under the knob in older doors. As if we are all trying to see each other through these tiny keyholes.

>>8371380
is that what the fox said?

>>8371451
>>8371451
>shitty prose
>melodramatic teenage talk

that's green
>>8371471
sounds awfully familiar, but i can't place it. it's not green.

is it a meme book?

>>8371380
I assumed it wouldn't be him because of the swear.
>>8371489
>sounds awfully familiar, but i can't place it. it's not green.

>is it a meme book?
:)

>>8371471
This is the hardest one in the thread

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At first you maybe start to like some person on the basis of, you know, features of the person. The way they look, or the way they act, or if they're smart, or some combination or something. So in the beginning it's I guess what you call features of the person that make you feel certain ways about the person. ... But then if you get to where you, you know, love a person, everything sort of reverses. It's not that you love the person because of certain things about the person anymore; it's that you love the things about the person because you love the person. It kind of radiates out, instead of in. At least that's the way ... That's the way it seems to me.

>>8371471
>the tiny inadequate bit
I'll say no to Green. Green please go.

>>8371504
Yeah it's a shame I already knew where it was from.
>>8371511
I'm guessing it's not him but I'm really unsure.

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>And Arcadia was a little girls name. Wished on her because her great-grandmother had been called that; her parents just had no imagination at all. Now that she was two days past fourteen, you'd think they'd recognize the simple fact of adulthood and call her Arkady.

>>8371527
I think I know this guy. Can't remember who though.

>>8371511
Holy shit that is awful

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Shadow had done three years in prison. He was big enough and looked don't-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time. So he kept himself in shape, and taught himself coin tricks, and thought a lot about how much he loved his wife.

>>8371535
lol Gaiman

>>8371471
come on, it's the most known fragment of that story.

answer is: page 35 of good old neon.

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"...the real heroes of the Wish Factory are the young men and women who wait like Vladimir and Estragon wait for Godot and good Christian girls wait for marriage. These young heroes wait stoically and without complaint for their one true Wish to come along. Sure, it may never come along, but at least they can rest easily in the grave knowing that they’ve done their little part to preserve the integrity of the Wish as an idea."

>>8371548
>like Vladimir and Estragon wait for Godot
this fucking phrasing of a pretentious, laid-out reference

100% it's green

>>8371548
lmao I thought it was Pynchon

>>8366808
>>8371061
Holy crap I remember this part too, weird. Too bad poster didn't play the fucking game right. Could've been good.

>>8371120
Who?

>>8371584
lovecraft: "what the moon brings".

as far as lovecraft goes, it isn't the best, but i though it suited green (well, as far as it can).

forgot i was suposed to put images :(

>>8371527
I'm guessing no because I've only seen him do impartial narration.

>>8371620
Me too, that reference to Beckett wasn't expected. Also, we should not spoil the fun for others.

>>8368042
The eternal Anglo strikes again

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I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world's finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, for the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, for all the blood that they've shed; that it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify all that has happened.

easy mode

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That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.

>>8371643
It's pretty obvious Green could never write something like that. He can't use phrases like 'infinitely small Euclidean mind of man' without drawing an arrow pointing to it to show how smart he is

>>8368042
A literal meme denomination too

>>8371120
Not bad, but it would have been better cut by half.

If you enjoy that kind of cosmic, flowery, synaesthetic prose you should definitely try Clark Ashton Smith.

>>8371659
i'm pretty sure that's the most used quote from the book

>>8371451
This must be him or someone way worse.

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I've always loved you, and when you love someone, you love the whole person, just as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be

normal mode
sorry for the all the russian dick sucking, but i've been on a binge lately

>>8371511
It's not him but it's bad.

>>8371511
>the basis of, you know, features

this man has been published and renowned.

just

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'Thats' right,' said Mrs Cole, helping herself to more gin. 'I remember it clear as anything because I'd just started here myself. New Year's Eve and bitter cold, snowing, you know. Nasty night. And this girl, not much older than I was myself at the time, came staggering up the front steps. Well, she wasn't the first. We took her in and she had the baby within the hour. And she was dead in another hour.'

Mrs. Cole nodded impressively and took another generous gulp of gin.

>>8371527
>Arkady
Again, I don't think it's him, but it's just as bad. And what the hell is he on about, Arkady is a man's name.

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So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

hard modedon't ask me why i know this one

>>8371643
Once they said Euclidean, I knew it wasn't Green. Green is too aware of his fanbase and would never casually namedrop someone obscure to public knowledge like Euclid.

>>8371700
Holy St. Filofteia, that is indeed John Green tier.

>>8371728
ikr, it's especially bad taken out of context.

even the greats are allowed to have their green moments, from time to time.

>>8371511
People getting pissy about the unprofessionalism gtfo DFW displayed a fascinating range of tones in different stories

>>8371722
If this isn't JG it must be Coelho.

>>8371734
fuck, i'm portuguese and it didn't even occur to me to put coelho in.

jesus fuck i'm mad right now.

>>8371731
Very true, and even JG can ascend sometimes to a higher plane, perhaps. I don't know, but that "pain demands to be felt" quote fooled me.

>>8371748
I think green wrote it

>>8371748
one fucking job and i fucked it up

>>8371748
lrn2spoiler

>>8371738
You must post some authentic Greenisms too every once in a while to keep us on our toes.

this thread is surprisingly entertaining

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My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations.

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Before you my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason, for anything.

teenie boper edition

>>8371772
i feel like this one isn't even coherent.

can he not fathom his onw thoughs? can he not put his thoughs together into groups?
i'm guessing it's him.

is green to deep for me, or am i just a retard?

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“He reached up t0 grab one and came down with several, and they kept coming, washing over him, floating all around him. Never have tampon strings seemed so beautiful as they rolled up and down with the wind, landing on the ground and then twirling and floating up again, falling and rising and falling and rising.”

>>8366603
This one fooled me too.

>>8371802
sounds like a re-write of 50 shades of gray

>>8368042
A lot of heresies pass for Christianity in usa. He's as much of a Christian as that Joel Osteen guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_vFvbfn9Fs

i know this isn't a cringe thread, but, this needs to be here.

faint of heart, don't hear

>>8371772
>>8371786
I get what he's trying to say and I liked it but you're right, I can't see how fathom would work there.

>>8371852
>side effect of dying
>side effect
> of dying

fuck me this is bad.

tolstoi made the point he was "trying" to make better when Andrei got shot in war and peace

>>8371856
>claims to hate fancy literature
>tries so hard to copy it that sentences lose meaning

meta gonne to far

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Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.

>>8371786
You have to read it in context of the novel.

>Here’s the thing about Hazel: Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death. We all want to be remembered. I do, too. That’s what bothers me most, is being another unremembered casualty in the ancient and inglorious war against disease.
>I want to leave a mark.
>But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars. You build a hideous minimall or start a coup or try to become a rock star and you think, “They’ll remember me now,” but (a) they don’t remember you, and (b) all you leave behind are more scars. Your coup becomes a dictatorship. Your minimall becomes a lesion.
>(Okay, maybe I’m not such a shitty writer. But I can’t pull my ideas together, Van Houten. My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.)

Augustus is an aspiring writer who is too scatterbrained to string his thoughts (stars) together into coherent narratives (constellations).

>>8371852
oh god

he starts reading two fucking minutes in

I can't do this

>>8366808
This one was obvious. Knew it was Dosto or Tolstoi.

>>8371897
*I mean the thoughts he has (stars) are disconnected and scattered (constellations). If his thoughts were coherent they wouldn't be constellations, but something more connected. Who know what shape they would be?

>>8371897
>>8371930
i know you tried, but now it's worse. he states he can put his ideas together, and then he denies it in the next sentence.

>>8371940
No he doesn't.

>I can’t pull my ideas together

>>8371995
missread. sry

i'll give you that, taken out of context, it sounds bad

but that whole paragraph is bad desu.

>>8371772
Obviously green, who else would misuse a word so simple as fathom

>>8372042
How is he misusing fathom?

>>8372122
Fathom as a verb means to understand or comprehend. It can't take indirect objects. Unless Green (or technically, waters) is trying to be modernist and use it wrong intentionally, it's just an example of limited vocab

>>8371802
*to

stupid Goodreads quotes

>>8371889
Not Green

>>8371700
Green?

>>8371659
That's John Green

>>8371774
Not John Green

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Why does John Green's wife make him live in the basement?

>>8372159
>is trying to be modernist and use it wrong intentionally

Or maybe he's bending the usage of language to fit his purposes? I'm sure most people can understand it.

>>8372678
It's perfectly understandable but it's clearly wrong

>>8372696
Define "wrong." The usage fits the purpose.

>>8372678
>I'm sure most people can understand it.
You mean understand it into correctitude.

>>8372739
>The usage fits the purpose.
Eh?

>>8372795
Definitions change over time.

>>8372800
Yes.

>>8371722
Green

>>8371733
If DFW had the marketing chops and movie adaptation jazz to score him the same audience that John Green currently has, then you can bet your bottom dollar he woulda ditches the bandanna and lost the noose.

>>8372877
>Definitions change
That's not the claim here tho is it? One person using certain words in such a way is not really an example of a shift of meaning in general.

>>8366600
So warm. His right hand once more more slowly went over again: choice blend, made of the finest Ceylon brands. The far east. Lovely spot it must be: the garden of the world, big lazy leaves to float about on, cactuses, flowery meads, snaky lianas they call them. Wonder is it like that. Those Cinghalese lobbing around in the sun, in dolce far niente. Not doing a hand's turn all day. Sleep six months out of twelve. Too hot to quarrel. Influence of the climate. Lethargy. Flowers of idleness. The air feeds most. Azotes. Hothouse in Botanic gardens. Sensitive plants. Waterlilies. Petals too tired to. Sleeping sickness in the air. Walk on roseleaves. Imagine trying to eat tripe and cowheel. Where was the chap I saw in that picture somewhere? Ah, in the dead sea, floating on his back, reading a book with a parasol open. Couldn't sink if you tried: so thick with salt. Because the weight of the water, no, the weight of the body in the water is equal to the weight of the. Or is it the volume is equal of the weight? It's a law something like that. Vance in High school cracking his fingerjoints, teaching. The college curriculum. Cracking curriculum. What is weight really when you say the weight? Thirtytwo feet per second, per second. Law of falling bodies: per second, per second. They all fall to the ground. The earth. It's the force of gravity of the earth is the weight.


Green is better than you thought, huh?

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>>8373432
pretend you never saw that image

>>8373432
>implying i wouldn't immediatly recognize James Joice's prose
>implying i didn't read ulysses
>implying green could writte something half that good

get the fuck out

>>8371535
Why isn't Gaiman hated as much as Green? teebeeaitch he's an even bigger faggot than Green, plus he's treated like an actual literary figure by the rest of the world, as opposed to Green who is relegated to YA by the majority.

>>8373444
i seriously hadn't heard of him before this thread

>>8373447
He's pretty big in the anglosphere right now. Not huge, but big enough that actual media runs dumb shit about his take on random shit a lot, and he's a hell of a lot worse than Green. He tends to write a lot of dreadfully similar edgy characters, akin to Coldsteel the hedgehog.

>>8372589
So the bull doesn't have to see a white boi

>>8373444
>>8373458
He's basically a pseudo Moore who has a thing for world mythology but unlike Moore he just doesn't have the chops for it.

Also, he's L I T E R A L L Y a cuckold

>>8373458
I don't think I'd say he's worst than Green. Mediocre would be a fitting adjective.

>>8373432
>>8373439
Incredible.

>>8371897
Fathom means measure. I don't see how it could fit there. But it sounds so mobydicky, don't it?

>>8373495

>open marriage

Gross, wtf? That defies the point of getting married in the first place.

>>8373443
>>8373432
Holy Mary and Joseph, is that Ulysses? I need to finish starting with the bloody Greeks this century and get me some of that.

>>8373535
>>open marriage
What's wrong with that? I'm in one. My wife, of course, isn't.

>>8368042
>I was surprised to learn that John is a Christian. Anglican, too

So? The only church gayer than Anglicanism is Episcopalianism.

>>8373547
yeah, it's chapter 5, which i had just read last night, which is why i recognized it desu.

all memes aside, it's 10/10

>>8368042
>John is a Christian. Anglican, too
So which one is it?

>>8373535
Why do you need to possess someone? What bothers you from thinking of other people fucking your wife?

>>8373524
Fathom when used as a Verb means to come to an understanding.

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>>8368042
>Anglican
>you will never hate your wife so much you break away from the dominant church of western civilization for a thousand years so you can divorce her

>>8373622
>come to an understanding
To come to an understanding is like agreement, to fathom is to understand but not necessarily to agree on any level.

>>8373866
>the dominant church of western civilization for a thousand years
Western Europe*

>>8374130
Ivan pls.

>>8373444
I had to read Gaiman's Ocean at the end of the lane for a class on mythology, at uni level.

pls kill me

>>8373495
If you don't think Gaiman gets plenty of prime audience pussy you're fucking insane.

>>8374551
>audience pussy
obviously
>prime audience pussy
not so obvious

>>8374551
Yeah maybe 15 years ago but he's a literally who nowadays

>>8371706
Not John Green

>>8373535
Gaiman's wife always strips naked at her concerts. It's hard to have a monogamous marriage when stuff like that is allowed to happen.

>In the night, the deepest concrete wells of night, dynamos whose locations are classified spin faster, and so, responding, the clock-hands next to all the old, sleepless eyes - gathering in their minutes whining, pitching higher toward the vertigo of a siren.

>>8371659
I thought it was Kundera desu.

>>8371380
I'm ashamed to admit that I know this is actually Green

>>8366603
I don't know why, but he doesn't seem like the type to use a religious metaphor

>>8375173
you'd be surprised, there are a lot more plebs out there than you'd think

>>8376490
He slips in stuff about Christianity every so often.

>>8373421

lightemup

>>8371568
that reads absolutely nothing like pynchon

>>8373587

If a woman loves and respects me enough to marry me in the first place, then monogamy shouldn't be that hard. The same would apply to me of course. I don't live one of those countries where I buy her from her father, or carry her off by force, and she can sue for divorce at any time, so it's not like I'm some evil patriarch enforcing my will.

The idea of two married people openly collaborating in infidelity and calmly discussing their various affairs just disgusts me on a fundamental level. Swingers seem like deeply perverted people, but at least they're honest. But having an "open marriage" would deny the possibility of even getting off on cuckoldry, because I assume cucks are excited by the idea of doing something transgressive and humiliating.

>>8376675
>wacky names
>unnecessary capital letters
>references to Beckett and the Stoics

That's exactly like Pynchon

>>8376400
If that's Green, he did a damn good job.

>>8376400
isn't that a bad paraphrase of gravity's memebow?

>>8371527
Asimov?

This guy have some really greats arguments on why Green is a relevant writer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR54KnF2lRY

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>>8377729
It's from page 158.
>Pic related.

>>8378135
this can't be real

>>8378135
Green is relevant because he's the spiritual successor to DFW.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt a bit calmer. Calmer enough to think clearly about what just happened. I couldn’t bear to have my life continue this way, so I tried to evaluate why I have had to suffer so much. I spent the whole day in calm meditation, deeply reviewing my life to see how I fell to this dark place. I concluded that I cannot just give up on having the life I want if I never try to get it. I realized that I was still only seventeen, and that there are many possibilities for me in the future. I wanted to give myself a new chance at life, despite all the odds that were against me. I wanted something to live for, something to look forward to in the future. This calm session of contemplation made me feel a lot better.

>>8378930
>all the sentences are pretry much the same length
Either Green or some other hack.

>Alaska … began to talk about how fascinating it was to cough.... Sneezing was much the same thing. You kept on wanting to sneeze until you simply couldn’t stand it any longer; you looked as if you were tipsy; you drew a couple of breaths, then out it came, and you forgot everything else in the bliss of the sensation. Sometimes the explosion repeated itself two or three times. That was the sort of pleasure life gave you free of charge.

File: image.jpg (124KB, 960x639px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 960x639px

>>8378954

>>8378977
where can I read his manifesto

>>8379037

http://genius.com/albums/Elliot-rodger/My-twisted-world-the-story-of-elliot-rodger

It's awful. Been reading it since I had the idea of shitposting half an hour ago.

>>8379046
I've read until he wanted to get tall with basketball and lost the pdf
anon St. Elliot was truly a god among men

>>8378977
Spoiler your images you dweeb

>>8378485
strange, i remember it badly. maybe it's time to re-read it

>>8378541
its is, and here is more
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDaGgPgP9is

this guy is a gift to Earth

>>8379533
I came for the hat, and stayed for the review.

>>8378974
That second sentence doesn't feel like Green. The former sentence however is throwing me off.

>>8371535
gay man

>>8378930
>I tried to evaluate why I have had to suffer so much.

That's probably Green

>>8373535
>>8373495
to be fair about the cuck thing, if I was married to the horrifying lovecraftian thing called Amanda Palmer I wouldn't want to have sex with her

>>8371774
Honestly this is pretty good. Evocative and shit.

>>8371889
Dis is Aldous Huxley.