Greentext the plot of your new novel

>>8356785
please please please tell me that's a boy

>>8356811
I god damn hope it is
nice dubs btw

>>8356811
you can tell yourself it's a boy if you want senpai

>generic fantasy with 10000 characters and politics and shit

gonna be pretty gud ive gotten the maps drawn and everything

a mans dead body very slowly rotting in a shed, going for 500 pages, will never publish
>>8356811
>>8356819
>>8356820
it's a girl

>>8356831
Welp, guess I'm straight

>>8356821
>maps drawn and everything
post pics

>man loses job, then house
>man decides to kill himself
>man decides, after a scenario I don't want to type out because it would take a while (plot device X) that he will go on a hiking trip first
>has to rebuild his life to afford hiking trip
>does this
>goes on hiking tip
>kills self

>>8356885
sounds pretty boring desu

>>8356885
might work if ur actually good at writing desu

>Man goes on inner journey
>Man finds himself and gives his life meaning

http://nekolukka.tumblr.com/tagged/me
NSFW source.
Apparently she's asexual which explains all the sexual poses.

>>8356885
Could be interesting. Stream of consciousness maybe desu?

>>8356917
It is

>>8356922
I post on /lit/, an image board on 4chan.org. What do you think?

>>8356950
Only the very end when he is killing himself is. The rest is told in a minimalist style. The book starts in media res when the guy has rebuilt his life, the emphasis is that his life is very average, boring and unsatisfying. The reader does not learn until the end first that he lost his old life and then lastly that he intends to kill himself on the hiking trip. For most of the story the hiking trip is implied to be a normal get away from the stresses of a banal life, the hiking trip is shown to be the 'goal'. I'm maybe 70% done with it but not sure if I'll ever finish it.

>>8356820
>>8356819
>>8356811
you faggots need to die.

Opinions please.

>Detective takes in some kid for questioning about a murder
>Kid has an excuse but gets drawn into investigation as part of plea deal
>They start finding people around them dying that they know
>Get scared but keep pressing the case
>Eventually detective gets a call to go to the apartment of the kid
>He was already there because he saw a text from the kid saying he felt like someone was acting suspicious on the building next door
>Realizes he's being tricked
>Realizes that the phone company has been hacking both of their phones leading them on wild goose chases
>Comes to find that the corporations have essentially unlimited power in their town
>the police department was in on it as well
>He ends up killing the chief and running away
>At the end he realizes that the whole city is corrupt so he runs away

Not sure about the ending, seems unfinished or unsatisfactory.

>>8356943
Thanks for the sauce

>>8357385
It definitely sounds good. I'd read it.

>>8356885
Meh.

>>8356939
Meeeh.

>>8357385
I don't feel it. Not sure because of the story itself or your way to sum up the plot.

>>8356885

Sounds like an anime desu

>Surreal tragicomedy where a family is forced to live in the attic of a lonely guys house without his knowledge.

>>8357385
Needs more of a catalyst to drive the message home but sounds cool to me

>>8357385
Hot Fuzz ending, guy rides back into town on a horse and arrests fucking everyone.

>>8357583
>>8357529
I'd rather he feel hopeless in that while he can take out one or two people involved in the scandal, the cabal behind it has taken such an amorphous form that he could never hope to tear it apart.

>>8357566
Such as?

> two alien "races" meet in space, first contact for both
> realise they have similar origin myths
> myths of creatures who sustained themselves by bizzare habits and were wilful and cruel, slave masters
> both "races" are machines which are the inevitable product of organic life
> hilarity ensures

>>8356943
>asexual

Just means that she's a virgin like the rest of us

>>8357595
The Hot Fuzz thing was just a (bad) joke. It really doesn't fit at all with what your story sounds like. It seems interesting, but I'm honestly not sure how you'd want to end it either. Just running away doesn't feel quite right, but I've no clue what would make it better. Has potential, though.

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>fantasy setting where old age turns people into murderous parasite monsters >protagonist is a traveling nurse who euthanizes the elderly
>her grim work has made her a cynical hedonist
>she teams up with a chill older nurse and an idealistic young doctor who collects live test subjects in order to research how to stop the parasite plague
>graphic monster violence, medical horror and weird fantasy sex follow

>>8357765
I'm thinking that if I make it less about him running away and more about the organization that runs things from the shadows it could work. So less so that he's running but just that he's being absorbed into this kind of black hole of corruption.

>sci-fi
>first colony in jovian orbit (L4) rebels against world government
>discovery that they have undergone a procedure that alters their cells, making them near immortal, and a botched coverup triggered the rebellion
>story is the spread of the rebellion, with the promise of immortality on one side and questions about the continuation of consciousness on the other (many assert that they're close copies of the dead, but not truly the original individual).
>follows an officer of the world government at first, while he gradually discovers just how deeply the world government fucked up
>second half follows a pilot driven by revenge in the aftermath of the rebellion bombing the earth's surface with meteors to attempt to knock out the fighting capacity of the world government

honestly probably more /m/ than /lit/
I've got a veritable mountain of technical and plot details figured out, but I've rewritten the first chapter 3 times now, and I'm probably going to go back and do it again before I get any further (I haven't written much fiction for a few years now, and I'm pretty rusty. Anyone else run into that problem?).

>>8357888
Abandon meaning for impulse

>all this cliched fantasy and scifi trash

/lit/ is pleb as fuck, and you think this board has taste

>>8357965
You mean people who self select into threads like this.

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Keep those ideas coming boys im gonna steal them all.

>hardworking abo man is kept down by whitey cunts as he tries to reconnect with his proud and time honored cultural traditions

I'm going to corner the NSW and Victoria markets

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>>8356785
>It's not like it's going anywhere anyway

>a dude has a fetish for being dragged around with a pink collar
>there's a lot of fucking inbetween
>everyone dies in the end

>>8356831
is the dead man a trap?

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A "Europe Central" style series of interludes, shotgunning perspectives across a planet devastated by a thinly veiled stand-in for World War I.
Basically its an excuse for me to retell my favorite anecdotes from the last two centuries of warfare via prose without needing to stick to the facts of what really occurred, and to have an excuse to delve into masturbatory and autistic worldbuilding.

>guy rides his bicycle, falls off of it out of nowhere
>when he gets up the bike is gone, and in its place is a gun
>believes someone set him up for this to happen, but left the gun by accident
>decides to investigate
>has weird dream where he fires gun at ominous figure but the bullet hits himself instead
>eventually his investigation leads him to this place where he has a long conversation with an enigmatic character, regarding mortality (maybe) ending with the main character being asked to kill the other
>open ending, maybe he kills himself

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>>8356785
>in the future mass shootings have become an hourly norm to the point where the US has adopted an ironic attachment to them as well as an ironic detachment to the seriousness of them, to the point where everything from media to human interaction and everything fashionable is built around mass shooting "culture"
>the main character and his cohorts, in attempt at counterculture, spend the course of the story, attempt to create the last truly "sincere" shooting but find themselves in the depths of post-irony, the threat of coming too close to true sincerity to be taken seriously, and the loss of self in trying to navigate the layers of irony built by the rest of the country's attempts at distancing themselves from the regularity of the shootings
it's rough

>>8358199
That sounds really good anon.

Yay for plot.

>>8356885
would be better as a short comic

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>>8358199
>in the present, rapes have become an hourly norm to the point where Europe has adopted an ironic attachment to them as well as an ironic detachment to the seriousness of them, to the point where everything from media to human interaction and everything fashionable is built around rape "culture"
>the main character and his cohorts, in attempt at counterculture, spend the course of the story, attempt to create the last truly "sincere" rape but find themselves in the depths of post-irony, the threat of coming too close to true sincerity to be taken seriously, and the loss of self in trying to navigate the layers of irony built by the rest of the country's attempts at distancing themselves from the regularity of the rape

>>8358199
sounds like an edgy satire

>>8358331
at the moment it's kind of interchangeable. obviously the point is not a critique of our approach to mass shootings, it's just that mass shootings have a richer history and more fertile ground for content.

>>8358094
can be

>>8357553
Cool!

>>8357553
Well ... it sounds original.

>>8357650
On the original side too.

>>8357773
Pretty cool.

>>8357888
Decent.

>>8357996
Can work as comedy.

>>8358013
Eh.

>>8358160
Decent.

>>8358199
>mass shooting "culture"
I kek'd.

Pretty good overall but you need hurry up with publishing before a new trend appears.

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>girl has terminal cancer
>spends most of her days brooding about it
>mom introduces her to boy who is also sick
>she finds out he has chronic priapism (illness that randomly causes grade 6 painful die-hard erections that last up to 15 hours)
>a bit weird but a bond soon forms between them because of script
>they are both ironic teenagers
>they decide to play a morbid game where the boy has to fuck her to death
>"can your boner last longer than my life, anon?"
>they start having sex with her alive
>finishes off with her dead
>biggest pain of his life
>magically his erection ends and his priapism is cured
>he receives a post-mortum letter from her
>it says
>"Pain demands to be felt"

I'm going to market it to children and then claim it's not pornographic. Do you think it'll be a hit, /lit/?

I'm actually writing the novel as we speak.

>>8358443
What. Sounds like any old porno except with a strange ending.

Just a curious question: are you into necrophilia?

>>8358443
John Green meets Sade.

Why the fuck not.

>>8358448
It's educational, Anon.

It's a
>coming
of age
story.

Can't you see the metalinguistical hidden meaning of the novel?

Meanwhile we have a character coming of age, we have another coming in terms with death and greeting it with love.

It's a powerful message for teenagers. Want a sample?

>>8358460
Sure, I'll bite.

>>8358471
>"Just a side glance and you're already like this?" said her sliding her dead-pale forehead off her blankets. God, if she hadn't spoken anything, I'd have had just assumed she was already as dead as everything in that hospital room.

Should I continue?

>>8356885
>naturalism
nice meme senpai

>>8358490
Much better than that vague greentext.

>>8356785
well, "new", it'll be the first

>utopian slice of life
>fantasy without magic or magical creatures or conflict
>my idea of a perfect world
>reigning mythos / religion is that of a gardener king universally worshipped
>archaic revival of garden of eden except with art and culture and all that goodness

>>8358331
this is better

>>8358506
"Have you ever heard that our brain can fill the gaps?" I answer without stuttering. Beneath her line of sight, my legs tremble.
"Yeah?" she asks without interest. "You-"
All of a sudden her eyes widened. Her cheeks blush bright red and bring colour to the dull room.
"Pervert!"
"I work with what I have." I said while sliding a side hip on her hospital. "Will you give me the full picture?"

Yes, my character is a virgin who tries to pretend his condition isn't an illness. He's actually insecure but can magically have some game with sick women. He has a fetish for anything that is more fucked up than he is.

>>8358531
A little awkward and seems almost r9k-esque.

If he's insecure, the tone should be a little more arrogant. "without stuttering" sounds too modest.
>inb4 fuck you I do what I want

>>8358531
You don't need to say "he said without stuttering." We know because none of the sounds he made were stuttered.

Source: that guy with the stutter

>>8358550
>>8358551
That's just first draft. I'm going to correct it.

But thanks for advice.

I'll self-publish this in two months for giggles.

>>8358443
I'd read it.

>>8358575
Make sure you have an innocent-sounding title.

>Infinitely sized ocean world with MANY, MANY islands
>Every island is about the size Texas and has developed their own culture and governments
>All speak American because I'm lazy
>Deals with the politics between islands and near perpetual conflict.
>Protagonist unites all the islands and they find their way up to the next plane.
>It's a fucking desert.
>Book 2

>>8358597
"Looking for Alaska"

>>8358615
Fuck, no, I should have said "The Fault in Our Stars" lmao

>>8358621
You mean "A Fault in Stars"
Bypass that copyright yo

>implying Shakespearean phrases can be copyrighted

>frame story
>begins in a black castle-city covered in fog, inhabited only by children and in and endless twighlight as time here has slowed to a stop
>the center of this place is an abandoned library where none of the children will go
>obviously brave but socially rejected young girl goes in alone anyways
>doesn't find any monsters, but instead a shriveled old man who can't even get up from his chair
>doesn't eat her, tells her the story of a friend he once knew instead

skips "back in time"

>in seaside kingdom, old king is rip and has no heir
>all the nobles fighting for kingship
>MC is young kid, goes with his father to help out at leper colony (dad doesn't give a shit about them tho just needs to look righteous)
>mc befriends young leper kid, brings him books. One is a book of entry level magic, basically party tricks
>mc visits friend sometime later to find he went ham on that magic shit and used it to "cure" his leprosy, some mc helps kid run away from leper colony
>later dad almost gets assassinated so to protect him he sends his kid to magic school to become a dank sorcer
>mc doesn't giva fuck about magic though, so he picks up leper boy to come with him to magic school and go attend class pretending to be him
>he falls for a cute mute girl, but he doesn't realize that she is classmates with "mc" (really leper boy) and they already have a thing for each other, so he gets pissed and runs off with old monk uncle he considers a mentor
>mute girl uses magic to share memories with leper boy
>turns out she wasn't always mute, she was illegitimate daughter of rip king in a nearby kingdom and servant he was never allowed to wife
>kings closest advisor was evil old hag who loved king and is jealous of daughter because she thinks the king had hots for her
>king finally owns everything, on his deathbed his last decree was that young girl be new queen
>hag says "fuck that, I think I heard you say I'm queen
>also I'm pretty sure mute girl needs hot metal forced into her mouth for commiting treason (except lol I framed her, fuck that hoe) also she's getting put to death."
>elite royal guard of the castle who do the kings bidding has a soldier who has always watched over daughteru and is in love with her, so he smuggles her out of the castle, sends her off to Hogwarts and replaces her with some peasant girl or something.
>back in the present, leper boy reveals to mute girl that he too has a tragic past
>it turns out he didn't cure his leprosy, and he didn't get just a book of cheap magic

>>8358790
Cont.

>accidentally placed in that book stack was an evil tome to summon a lovecraftian horror
>he did; leper boy actually had no latent magic ability, eldritch abomination made him strong and cured him, but the contract was that he must give the life and soul if his first true love
>tells mute girl that he loves her, and so he has a plan
>uses a tome he stole from hidden library in Hogwarts to summon an even stronger Eldrich being known as the dreamwalker
>dreamwalker promises to fulfill leper boy's life goal of bringing his murdered father back to life, but to do so he must feed the dreamwalker souls harvested from anyone who touches the blade of a ceremonial sword called the dreamweaver
>weaker Eldrich being shows up to eat mute girl alive in their dorm room while leper is pissin
>too late mute girl is kill, but he stabs the elderich thing with Dreamweaver anyways.
>thing is kill, but it has no soul to give; instead it becomes fused with lepers own soul
>now he is in possession of mute girls soul too, and it's implied he gives mute girls soul to the dreamwalker
>as a result of absorbing Eldrich being he becomes horridly disfigured, so he disguises himself in royal ceremonial armor of the rip king of coastal kingdom; returns to mute girls homeland where he kills the queen and corrupts the leet royal guard to become hideous crawling suits of armor with raven wings out of their backs and thousands of eyes all over their body
>marches on coastal kingdom with his new army of hideous abominations (symbolic of his descent into madness), where every day he sacrifices innocent lives to the dreamwalker
>dreamwalker intends to bring his father back by collapsing every other dimension in on itself. By physically smushing every alternate timeline into one it assures lepper boy that his dad and mute girl being alive will be the fate of this one conjoined timeline.
>time stops and the sky above becomes a birds eye view of the kingdom in the other timelines inching ever closer
>meanwhile mx reads a letter his dad sent him
>turns out he's a fake noble and had cancer, he was going to die anyways but to secure a future for his son he wanted to secure the throne
>dad wasn't a complete cunt after all
>now mc wants to be king, so he goes and beats down all the other nobles and claims sole right to the throne.
>time for confrontation
>goes to see leper boy, where it's revealed leper boy isn't actually leper boy but mute girl inside leper boys body
>leper boy gave his own soul to the dreamwalker and let mute girls soul inhabit his body, entrusting his master plan to her
>mc intends to kill her but the dreamwalkers fusion of the planes is irreversible

>>8358790
>>8358793
Last.

>mc intends to kill her but the dreamwalkers fusion of the planes is irreversible
>final revelation to mc is that leper boys dad was in fact the rip king of the coastal kingdom
>she can't keep going on, offs herself with the dreamweaver hoping to journey to wherever her leper boy is
>mc is now king, but of a broken kingdom in an ending world; and neither leper boy nor mute girl live to see their plans come to fruition
>nobodywins.webm
>back at the castle frozen in time, now its obvious old man in the library is leper and young girl is mute girl
>old man says that this dream is hers, and that even though he's here, he's just a character in a story, and that ultimately she is trapped alone in a prison cell of her own making
>turns out dreamwalker traps the souls he eats in an endless dream built of their own insecurities and fears; essentially our own personal hell

>24 year old loser is a internet-lurking loser
>starts investigating a new ARG
>turns out the dude making the ARG is actually killing people
>he tries to find the dude
That's pretty much (sh)it. It's probably just going to be another short story that I throw away, I have no idea where to go with it.

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>alternate universe 1967 because that's a nice time, why not
>wasteland-urban apocalypse setting
>colonies use 'Dust Runners' to comunnicate as there is no more internets
>dust runners are fast people on fast cars going fast through the fast desert, you get the drift
>dust runners are like gods to the plebs of the colonies
>everyone wants to be a runner when they grow up
>introduce MC
>MC is orphan because author likes tropes
>street urchin MC basically pulls an episode 1 anakin and rebuilds an old Runner vehicle
>wants to be a Runner
>they reject him
>some deus ex machina bullshit happens and he decides to become a maurader an build his own colony in the dusty wasteland
Cont? I have some more an I know it's faggoty but bear with me, this is the first time it's left my mind.

>>8356785
>A Novel in which the P.O.V Characters thinks they're in a Different kind of Novel
>I.e Romance, Thriller, Drama, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Urban Fantasy
>The P.O.V Narration would go along with what they believe.
>Thought the Novel the Prologue and a few Chapters would be written in 3rd person present sort of like a review
>As the Novel Progress further and Further the consequences of their actions begin to take their toll on not only what they believe but also on how people start to perceive them.
>by the end of the novel all but a few P.O.V are either dead, Jailed, or in a Mental Asylum.
>Epilogue Would then go back to 3rd person present revealing to the readers that those P.O.V who didn't Die, go to jail, or Weren't sent to an Asylum. Knew exactly what kind of Novel they were in, and in the final sentence of the Novel would be ominous about their future.

>>8356785
>protagonist is detached from the world, he is "malodusan" (something that translates to ambivalence, detachment, and uninterest in living and empathy)
>this malodusnost is broken when he stalks some girl and later they start a relationship
>he realizes that he is disgusted by how fake she is after a night's talk about the meaning of life (she is a happy-go-lucky 'just b urself' 'live love laugh xD')
>this crisis of his is personified as a demon that taunts him
>his friend is also dead, but it seems as if he is the only one who really "felt" something at his funeral
>he goes on a trip around Europe, but realizes that these kinds of ironic detachments from reality are only strenghted by the consumerist, fast-paced culture of the West
>he goes on a pilgrimage to Russia, but realizes that the epicuran detachment of the monks is life denying
>in the end he stops being spooked (this is the simplest way I can put it, so /lit/ can understand it)
>last couple parts is him doing shenanigans and getting killed by a cop

I need to know if this is any good; it's my thrid time trying to write a novel, and everytime I get deep (like 80 pages deep) I realizes the story is shit and start over.

>>8356811
It's Nekolukka. she's on chaturbate.
https://twitter.com/nekolukka/status/708496222470803457

>>8356943
>Asexual
>Crams her vagoo with dildos for cb tokens all day

>man and woman travel across the land having merry adventures
>man is a priest, woman is his guardian and servant
>the priest is on a holy quest to bring God back to life and issue a millennia of God's kingdom on earth
>everyone fucks with them for some reason
>there's really emotional scenes as the duo struggles with the hardships of the cruel world
Now for the twist
>it's eventually revealed that the God is a powerful extraterrestrial that wants to enslave the human race and the priest is his apostle and the woman is a cursed maniac killer.
>what starts as an innocent adventure fantasy story ends as a depressing sci-fi with philosophical elements and the ultimate destruction of the human race.

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>be me
>be police
>gotta find this nigga to jail
>go to the woods looking for nigga
>stuck in the woods
>nigga not what he seems
>his momma out here looking for him too
>nigga makes statues of himself in the woods out of grapico cans n kfc buckets.
>nigga stealing watermelons n shiet in the woods
>full on chimp out
>momma bought to beat his ass
>oh shit she dead senpai
>LOUD gorilla noises

> guy takes mushrooms, wakes up in the back of an 1980's old mobile, is he still tripping or did he go back in time

>>8359001
basic idea of characters thinking they're in a different genre is genius but the rest is kind of edgy

>>8358496

I like nature anon, don't you?

>>8358331
This is really good.

>>8359131
>but the rest is kind of edgy
How So?

>girl meets a man outside in her backyard
>he takes her to her favorite time period for a day, brings her back, promises he'll come play soon
>10 years later, she heard a knock on window
>its time bro
>he takes her to the past and future, and teaches her to see the world in its beauty
>one day she asks him to take her to her wedding
>he says no
>years later, time bro is aging faster with every year
>time bro is her boyfriend
>time bro learned to travel to see her again
>girl kills herself and he risks the timelines for her
>time bro only has enough power to travel one last time
>takes girl to the wedding he helped happen by saving her that night
>last dance
>takes her home and dies alone
>time travel never happens again because time bro of past has no reason anymore
>crisis averted
>the end

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>A virus wipes out the vast majority of humanity
>All survivors either live in protected, futuristic, meritocratic city-states called Blue Zones, ghettos called Yellow Zones, war zones or the roam the endless wilderness and ghost towns of the Grey Zone.
>Protag is the bodyguard of a blue zone scientist's daughter
>Bodyguard fcks up one night and the daughter is kidnapped
>Protag is kicked out of the blue zone
>The daughter is rescued and all kidnappers killed, except one who flees into the grey zone
>The protag follows to get revenge and answers
>Spends months investigating the kidnapper while living in a a shipwreck with a veteran grey zoner and a young blue zone student out here to complete her master's thesis.
>Encounter many hostile people and creatures as they search for the kidnapper
>Gradually, as clues are collected, it seems that more things are going on than appears and the kidnapper is the key
Still working on the plot, but the world is meant to be reminiscent of the exclusion zone around Chernobyl ala STALKER.

>Based on simulation theory
>In modern day a man appears out of no where with god like reality warping powers, calls himself The Programmer
>Reveals our universe is a simulation and he's visiting from base reality
>Gives the governments of the world a Ultimatum, make key changes to turn earth into a space fairing society or face deletion
>Our protagonist is a young woman he takes a like to, reveals the truth to her
>He is one of many programmers seeing over a near infinite number of simulated universes, the simulations were started to gather data on how to save base reality which is in danger
>Our reality is one of the chosen as it mirrors base reality almost perfectly, but were far behind the base reality in progress and the visit is meant to help catch us up,but the programmers intervention is a break of the rules and we'll be deleted by the body that oversees the other programmers if his interference is found out
>The programmer and our protagonist have to changes our world (without making too many changes, The Programmer calls attention to our reality every time he uses his powers (a calculated gamble from his perspective) while avoiding tipping off agents from base reality that visit our world searching for possible contamination

>>8357773
i like it, as we the cellular machinery degrades and breaks down that why cancer is so prevalent with the old, theirs a connection between age and becoming cancerous/monstrous

>>8359285
*as we age

>>8356785
>life of a monk in a remote monastery in remote wilderness
>Summoned by abbott, because of his family back asked to assist Knights of St. John as they protect pilgrims - recently many pilgrims have been kidnapped by unknown parties
>Leave the planet his monastery is on, joins the Knights in their war cruisers protecting pilgrim ships between planetary systems
>Meet with Mormon starships - they are also losing people to raids that leave behind ships and valuables but take all the people
>Rule out the Muslim colonies
>Deduce it must be Old Earth; eventually learn that the various 'designer baby'/'genetic purification'/'DNA therapy'/'cloning' plans have destabilized the genetics of effectively all Earth natives
>Reveal that mandatory gene therapy, abortion, and other eugenics plans led Catholics, Mormons and some other groups to flee to planets as far from Earth as possible
>Desperate Earth now raiding the remote, breakaway religious colonies for people with untainted genetics in an attempt to gain a stable population

>>8359315
I'd read that.

>>8359052
please i need critique, all friends are saying that it's great, but i don't believe them
they barely read at all

>>8359052
Literally Siddhartha with a love interest in the plot.

>>8356845
oh dude its a joke asoiaf

Oh, i want to try it, couse i want to know at least how my ideas sound
> Future. People discovered a distant planet, that is kinda like earth in terms of gravity/atmosphere and so on
> After first robotic scout mission they find out that there is life there, but without much intellegence
> Planet is also suitable for people life
> Earth sends big group of scientists there, so they can do their shit explore and learn about first known planet in galaxy, that hold life, that is like Earth live
> There are some rebelish guys in group, who didnt liked how life on earth was going and decided to start new life, grow their children so they can create society with less flaws then on Earth
> Fast forward
> Main character and his gf are the first two children on colony, they are experiment, kinda succesfull, do their shit, help parents, just live normal life
> They suddenly discover that all they were doing was done by parents already (so their job was useless), and all their work was just a way for parents to continue experiment
> Mc dont know what to do, when he found out that his life was and is basiclly pointless
> but his gf is mad about it and decides to fuck shit up and somehow return to Earth
> she is really smart and kinda psychopatic, starts killing people and make an alliance with colonys AI

>>8358443
i'd read it.
parodying john green?

>>8358611
you could do what robert howard did when it comes to language.

We hear Conan speak the same way in every story. Howard just made sure to reference what language he was currently speaking, despite the act that every different language was auto translated to english for the reader.

>>8358922
Consider re-working your plot if you can summarize your meaning/ conclusion with "and bla bla bla" or "deus ex machina bullshit"

> story happens somewhere around the start of industrialism
> two poor boys one day see an illusionist and are fascinated by it, want to become illusionists too
> decide to learn from him, when older both become quite good at it
> illusionist basically taught them how to use natural science, electricity etc. in such a way that they get results, but the way it's done is hidden from the spectator
> One of them, we'll call him X is a genius, Y quite smart aswell, but not on the same level
> friendship breaks apart and its an open conflict
> Y wants to duel X, accident happens and Y ends up unable to walk
> Years pass, royalty is fascinated by X's talents and finance his innovations
> one day, Y reappears, now on both feet and buff as a mothafucka
> wants X to get his ass to centre square
> X goes there, sees Y. Y tells him to take a look a little further. Y has created a clone of himself.
> Y tells X that after he had lost the duel, he started to believe that X had used occult means to win, so he started to study necromancy and other similar things
> X by now has a son, and he turns to him and whispers that Y's attempts to study the occult were in vain.
> he still used natural science for his tricks, he just knew how to work it better.

That's as far as the idea is right now

> young man meets a woman he met a couple years ago
> she's an alcoholic and social outcast, he falls in love with her
> some part of him enjoys her lifestyle, another part of him wants to play captain save m'lady
> goes to weird parties with her, nobody tells him people crossdress there, sodom and gomorrah reloaded
> dude writes paragraphs similar to Martin Laurids Brigge, about how disgusted he is, then about how he loses all his feelings, then about how much he loves her, despite or because of how she is
> no clear ending

>>8359246
None of that makes any sense. More holes than plot.

>>8359315
That's also retarded. Why would Old Earth not just change their genes back to the original ones, or end their eugenics plans to bring the religions back, or just fucking ask the rest of the universe if they can buy some fresh gametes?

>>8360082
Someone with tech around the level of early industrial society is able to create and quick-age a human clone, one thing we can't do today and another which is basically impossible?

>>8360126

Y is the one that does that, the guy that delves into the occult, and keep in mind they started out with illusions, so there isn't really any reasoning as to how that clone can be there logically.
Tbh this was just some weird ass dream I had. Thought it had some potential.

>>8360147
I still don't think that really makes any sense; it has the same holes as The Prestige, which it's similar enough to that people are likely to say you ripped off.

>>8356785
>The people of Jreialestfar are having difficulty with the dictator, Diorlestache Greallouslon.
>Greallouslon keeps raising taxes
>Story starts out explaining in 3rd person omniscient perspective how all these troubles have come about due to the workings of the wizard Russidast of the Kondondelli.
>Story switches to 2nd person exposition on the dangers of witchcraft and explains the whole thing through rhetorical question and answer.
>Story switches to anonymous dialogue between two sailors on the other side of the world.
>The conversation is about general bravery and how the people of Jreialestfar don't seem to value it anymore.
>Conversation portrays the general feeling of people in this land.
>Story switches to first person narrative and follows the one brave woman in Jreialestfar as she goes on a quest to defeat Russidast of the Kondondelli, the wizard.
>She fails.
>Epilogue is an exposition on why such stories ultimately have no meaning.

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Part 1
>an old, retired admiral is chosen by the Spanish crown to oversee the construction of a new fortress naval base on one of their small islands in the Caribbean
>on arriving he finds everything in complete disarray thanks to the workings of a corrupt local governor
>with his subordinates he gathers proof needed to displace the governor and sends it to the homeland, which orders him to arrest the governor and take charge
>the governor gets word of this and hires some local pirates to storm the city and keep him in power
>cue battle between the small Spanish garrison and the amassed pirates

Part 2
>after everything is settled, the admiral takes temporary control of the island until the new governor can arrive
>as work on the fort continues and he tries to put everything back in order, a slaver ship coming from Africa docks at the island on the way to North America
>the slaves revolt and are quickly put down, but not before the admiral recognizes one of them
>many years prior he had been captured and enslaved by an African tribe. After months of suffering, this tribe waged war on another, and lost. The admiral took advantage of the battle to fight against his captors and gain his freedom. In the midst of this battle, he fought alongside a warrior of the opposing tribe and befriended him.
>the admiral has been staunchly anti-slavery since, but he mostly keeps his opinions to himself
>now he sees his old friend who saved his life so many years ago bound in chains. He tries to buy him, but the ship captain will hear none of it. The admiral promises his friend he will help him
>sometime later the admiral takes off for the English colonies on a mission to find his old comrade and rescue him from slavery as he himself had been rescued all those years ago

>>8357385
interesting m8, as long as its an interesting mystery all the way through.

the ending could make or break it. Got any ideas you're playing with?

>Guy is born in a prison camp in some oppressive dictatorship
>He manages to escape
>He hitches a ride to a first world country
>A ghost writer writes his story and makes a best seller
>He is on news channels
>After like a month of being in the country, he gets to speak before the legislature
>He asks for help liberating the country
>He gets laughed at and rejected
>In like 2 months no one really cares anymore

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>MC (main character) is just out of university, unemployed and desperate for work.
>Finds small job cleaning rooms in some kind of hostel or someshit. It's a big old house.
>Hostel is filled a few disoriented but otherwise friendly guests. Some claim they don't know how they got there.
>MC gets more job offerings. Starts working almost full time cleaning, cooking, doing laundry and shit. She is good at it.
>The guests act weird. Some claim they cannot leave. MC does not get it. She comes and goes as she wants.
>MCs friends start remarking on how MC is getting more and more withdrawn. Also she is told she looks thin, pale and unhealthy.
>MC loses her old student room. Moves into a small "servants room" in the hostel. Starts wearing old fashioned maid clothes.
>The guests, meanwhile have been exploring, experimenting and trying to escape. Somehow the house will not allow them to leave.
>MC starts working against them.
>Turns out it was a survival-horror story all along! But told trough the eyes of the creepy monster maid that works against the real main characters.

>>8359052
>>8359103
>>8359197
>>8359246
>>8359580
>>8360772
Literally "lol whut: the plot/ending"

>>8359103
For real: It's shit
You probably thought you were vert clever and all thinking of that plot but the truth is: Every teenager who has played a couple of JRPGs from the late 90s thought of the exact same shit.

That whole "God is in fact evil and it's not a fantasy setting but really a Sci fi world"

It's every edgy teenager wet dream. In fact, I thought your plot could give a really cool fiction if well handed until I saw the "It's gon be d33p!"

Protip: If Xenogears isn't deep. A cheap knock off, 20years later in book form, isn't going to be either

POV novel of Victorian Era gentleman stuck in modern world. Doesn't recognise his friend circle or world around him and whole novel is written in old style around social situations he deals with. Turns out to be mentally imbalanced person who became obsessed with literature classics as a form of escapism lol

>>8358331
Kekkles

>>8358443
Did Aiba fuck dead Kurumi?

>vampire hunter gets bit by werewolf
>hunts down the wolf that bit him
>his ex gf turns into vamp
>teases romance briefly
>big fight
>gf falls
>guy jumps off bridge after drinking a litre of whiskey

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>>8356785
California, 20XX AD

a 52 year old divorced former CIA operative with mild PTSD is contacted by Ashton Fuck, mildly autistic tech billionaire, to steal ultra potent experimental marihuana from a military research facility.

it's unclear if we are dealing with a PKD-like reality warping catalyst, the secret to eternal life, God Himself or just really good weed.

drugged out Stream of consciousness section in which Ashton Fuck reflects on his shitty childhood, Randian individualism, failure to connect with fellow humans, confused gender identity, the human condition as inherently unstable transitionary stage, existential hollowness. dude's kinda fedora/cringe and he knows it, hates himself for it.

Meanwhile, Yung Vova, a pro-Soviet trap rap performer from St. Petersburg, Florida attempts to infiltrate the US music industry as part of a KGB psy-op plot. His handler is a mescaline Eurasianist crackpot who has deluded himself into thinking the whole scheme is of crucial world historical importance. Southern California=Lemuria=Pan-Turanian Urheimat

>>8360113
Rough concept il admit, but still fleshing it out, what holes and potential problems do see?

>>8361253
Jesus christ there is no way this cant be good, it just needs to be written.

The barebones of this story. Little bit of /d/ and /lit/ together
>militia leader of a village desperate to save it from orcs raiders
>mysterious people offer to do it in exchange for her being his slave in mind/body
>transaction completes and she becomes his slave
>Master turns out to be travelling around motivated by intellual, artistic and cultural curiosity
>Slave acts as his bodyguard/sex slave(/d/ tier)
>Master's personal goal to cleanse himself from spooks and be free
>his previous slave sacrificed herself for him (he considers his slave to be part of him)
>finds death terrifying and fears it and struggles with the crippling nature of his freedom
>as a result becomes detached, cynical, selfish,bitter, melancholic with the slave being naive, optimistic, empathetic and contented with her servitude to him
>Slave struggles to understand master's plight much less help
>they join a coup coz master finds it intellucaly interesting
>one scarifice life for the other at the end of the coup
Idk who dies. If the slave dies, she dies happy and implores her master to be happy for the rest his life, talking him out of his fear of death (idk how). He does and goes in search for a new one.
If the master dies, he dies happy being free from the fear of death. However the slave is convinced he didn't want to bear the pain of another slave dying for him. His suffering rubs off on her as she struggles what to do with her newfound freedom.

I do have a ending where both don't die but it seems super cheesy. Plz give me your thoughts and critique thanks

>>8361253
>pro-Soviet
>from St. Petersburg
>Florida

I lol'd

I would probably read this

>man tricks undead into thinking he's a zombie overlord
>realizes he's in over his head but if the undead find out the truth they'll kill him
>ends up forming undead fiefdom to uphold the lie
>living races all think he's trying to take over the world and go on a crusade against his undead hordes
expect it on shelves neverever

Most of what I'm seeing here in this thread has no breathing room for any of the stories to naturally shape themselves out. I don't know if that makes any sense being put so vaguely.. but things like >>8362224 and >>8359209 all read like there's a claustrophobic cookie cutting sheet telling you what CAN and CANNOT be in the story.
The plot should be a natural movement created by the themes and ideas that you feel are urgent to express to others or even just get out of you

>>8362339
What're you writing about?

>>8362356
A guy sitting in his room being spied on by us

>>8362339
Senpai, can you explain further? I am the >>8362224. Tbh the story did come from a theme I had in mind and my /d/ tier fantasies

>>8362477
How would you distinguish themes from fantasies?
Daydreams are so fucking envy driven and raw that they need to be dug into and expounded out of.. I think that is the most difficult part of good story telling. Being able to go in depth as to why someone would fantasize about these sorts of things and how one could derive personal, or even, universal meaning out of these longings.. Again, sorry for the indirectness (kinda what I'm criticizing as well, so look at me), I only post while I am drinking

>in this setting there's many schools of magic
>magic can only be strengthened/defeated/countered/rendered irrelevant only by other specific schools of magic
>for example X counters Y, Y counters Z but X makes X counter immune to Y. But G makes Y immune to Z's ability to make X immune to Y.
>the whole concept of warfare is centred around the use of deception, manipulation, espionage, use of secret agents, secreter double agents and secreterer triple agents, draws heavily from Art of War.
>war takes years only because the planing takes years. Actual combat is over in a couple minutes as all plans and powers get unleashed in an instant
>there's almost no use of actual soldiers when with careful planing over the years a group of mages can win a war in a moment.
>the nations in the setting develop unique traditions because of this
The "plot" is more of an exploration of the world. Each chapter deals with different characters but they eventually meet up towards the end. There's no greater than life scope, no grander plot, just the futility of war and how it renders everything else senseless before it, how war is a whole different world in itself and how it is the ultimate contest, and ultimately how the humanity needs war in order to draw what's best and also what's worst from it.

>>8362533
>How would you distinguish themes from fantasies?
Well theme is what I want to say to the reader while fantasies (usually I have premises) is what I want to entertain the reader with

Tbh I do have some of what you described in the story but I just wanted to describe the general outline of the plot

>>8356785
if I post it someone will steal it and if I ever finish it people will know I'm from 4chan and I'll be ruined.

>>8362670
there's no such thing as an original idea, and no one gives a shit about whatever you post here to remember it after the thread dies

>>8356885
this is literally the plot of into the wild just so you know

>>8356785
I'm not falling for this trick again. Fuck off

>bullshit analog of medieval central asia/mongolia
>'mongols' are mostly gone, dead or assimilated
> dad and daughter live out on the steppes in a ger
>set out every few months in search of new pasture
>dad kilt by bandits
>girl goes to nearest settlement
>works in bakery and lodges upstairs with the fambly who owns it
>fambly is grandma, father, son, daughter
>son is girl's age, around 16, daughter around 11
>girl gets relatively comfortable in new life but
>gnawing sense of betrayal living in a town among sedentary people
>son becomes infatuated with girl
>makes pass at her
>girl not responsive
>grabs her and goes in for a smooch, not evil rapist, clumsy and innocent
>girl pulls a knife and moiders him
>flees the town
>constant grappling over loyalty to father and heritage and guilt over teh killing

bout as far as i've got

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>>8356785
Starts with two plot threads.

Thread 1:
>In a small settlement outside a small town
>The settlers find a wounded drifter with a shiny, powerful looking pistol on him.
>They must go to the small town to get the supplies they need to heal him.
>They bring their valuable bargaining chip with them and also the pistol.

>In the small town's supply shop
>settlers arrive and are confronted by the town's guards
>settlers present their bargaining chip and beg for supplies.
>guards inform commander back at HQ
>commander doesn't believe this particular faction of settlers would give up such a bargaining chip to help someone, says it's a trick, and rejects the settler's plea.
>With the go ahead from commander, guards blow up bargaining chip and demand that the settlers surrender
>settlers desperately start a firefight instead.
>It's not looking good for settlers
>As a last resort they try the drifter's shiny pistol
>It's magnificent. Holy cow!
>Settlers escape with the supplies they need to help the drifter.

Thread 2:
>In the small town at the school
>Girl is about to be kicked out of school for being too old.
>She's happy about it because school was rough.
>Book learnin' was too hard for her.
>She looked weird, so many jerks thought she'd be easy, but she always rejected them and unfortunately then got verbally abused.
>Strangely, the class is having a going away party for her, and the town's mayor is there.
>None of the kids are into it.
>She's confused. They lined the class up to play sport and made her a captain.
>She picks some other misfits and one big non-misfit kid who was nice to her.
>The big jerks are on the other team.
>To everyone's shock, including her own, she captains her team to a win, making excellent use of that big non-misfit kid.
>The mayor is pleased.
>Her shock gives way to joy as her teammates lift her up into the air and say their good-byes. She gets a hero's send off.

>>8361253
The true Neuromancer of our time

An operator at a Tennessee wastewater plant is struck by lightning. He falls into a pool of sewage and his body is never found. Soon afterwards, adult humans start to climb out of the sewers of Chattanooga. Every drop of cum flushed into the city's system transforms into the human it would've become if it had fertilized an egg. The waste people bear a striking resemblance to their maker. The main character jerks off three times a day minimum.

>>8357773
sounds pretty decent senpai, let us know what becomes of it

>farmer attempts to grow a tropical flower despite his land not being suitable for it

>>8357773
Would read

>>8356831
how can you describe a body rotting for five hundred pages?

>>8358796
That was so long and needlessly convoluted it's a wonder I finished reading the whole thing. Hope your actual storytelling skills are better than your green text attempts.

>mom dies
>raise self on money dad sends back
>fuck society Imma find myself
>the world is scary
>oh shit muslim royal family
>white
>cheeky Moroccans
>let me fuck your daughter
>I dont wanna go to Mecca
>I think my dads dead
>what did i accomplish?

>small town florist, loves his job, prominent in the community
>car accident in town, someone he doesn't particularly like dies
>roadside shrine of bouquets is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen
>finds the funeral thrilling, feels guilty afterwards
>some time later another death in town, this time a youngster he knows quite well drowns in the river
>this only magnifies the tragedy porn
>starts trying to encourage fatal accidents; icing roads, damaging lights, buying alcohol for teenagers etc.
>steady stream of funerals and graves to adorn wih flowers
>number of deaths attracts suspicion
>the net is closing, knows he's fucked
>police find him hanging in his shop surrounded by flowers with grieving messages from the townspeople all in the same handwriting

>>8363330
Sick metaphor bro

>>8363395
Do you even know what it's a metaphor for? Pleb

He'll be the only character in it so it's going to be very descriptive and psychological tbqh

>>8361253
HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA WEEEEEEED HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry. This does has some potential, but at this point reads too much like a Pinecone pastiche, literally screaming look how pomo I am.

>>8360126
>just change their genes back to the original ones
Because that isn't how it works - if you corrupt a gene line and don't have a broad selection of genetic material you can't 'change back'. Plus, the core conceit is that the act of cloning in and of itself corrupts the gene line

>Super Secret Nazi corporation plots to blow up the whitehouse.
>Goes to great lengths to aquire super secret experimental soviet retrovirus.
>Super Secret Organization put together by super secret service to stop the corporations.
>A Team assembles, their leader: Chuck Tingle.
>Stops the Corporations through Super Secret Nazi Orgy Punchfucking.

why so I see nekkolukka on /lit/ so often

are you are that degenerate?

>>8363360
Actually sounds like a pretty good novella. Not sure there's enough there for a full novel without dragging into episodic bits in the middle, but even if there is, it might benefit from the sharper focus of a shorter format. Would read.

>>8364892
yeah

>>8357773

this should be a manga, not a book.

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>>8356785
>gay boy runs away from home in 80s
>goes to gay clubs does gay things, gets into punk
>Becomes NY squatter
>Travels via train with other gay boy
>Squats in abandoned house
Gay boys friend gets killed and raped at house by dog with human face
>Boy never forgets and becomes a deranged drug addict dying of HIV/AIDS
>Meets young man at club who he tells story to
>Overdoses and dies
>Young man finds house and feels compulsion to masturbate in it
>Does so but is disturbed
>Young man gains obsession with house

It's the normal diary of a normal guy, with a few out of place and slightly disturbing elements but nothing too eye-catching. The final chapter is a newspaper cut out on the capture of a serial killer.

>Advanced AI becomes stranded on a hostile low tech world.
>Unable to maintain it's power hungry systems using the local resources it has to downgrade itself to a Pseudo organic form by giving birth to a humanoid version of itself.
>AI has to compress it's vast mind into DNA storage so it's humanoid "son" has only a vague idea of it's previous life.
>The son becomes a barbarian warlord and starts a new religion.
>Thousands of years latter the AI is worshiped as a god, and uses the population of believers as a very slow parallel processing computer.
>The church acts as a collective organism, however it operates on scales that individual humans would be unable to perceive.
>Eventually it becomes safe enough for it to call for a rescue mission, thus fulfilling the church's prophecy.
>The society it built falls apart shortly after when the church becomes unnecessary, and the planet is absorbed into a larger stellar empire.

It's supposed to be a sort of fuck you to atheist fedoras who masturbate to rationality. It's about how a truly rational being might end up embracing everything they hate. (Disgusting organic bodies, irrationality, superstition, ect) while at the same time criticizing organized religion and pointing out the similarities.

>>8365210
This sounds as if you have a very rudimentary understanding of both secular schools of thought and organized religion. It sounds like a teens story masquerading as worthwhile Science Fiction. And the point you make a the end there, don't you think there has been enough said on that subject? Don't you have anything new to add, other than contempt?

>>8365308
This may sound like low hanging fruit to somebody from /lit/, but I see too many people on the internet who need it spelled out for them.

>>8364965
This sounds interesting, but how will you push the book on that premise? A whole lot of nothing with a final page twist would have to be insanely well written to attract any casual reader in 2016.

>>8365326
No you don't see them at all, you see a minuscule facet of them, the book would be much more interesting if instead of being another "point and laugh at the nonmentioned fool" story, it showed more of the humanity that those kinds of people ultimately possess and possibly even why they come to hold such belief.

>>8365352
Oh there would be plenty of that. The final act would feature clergy and non believers both facing crisises of faith (or lack thereof) and struggling to come to terms with the universe. The whole point is that people who are "Wrong" often have very good reasons for being so.

When I said "A fuck you to fedoras" I meant. "A character who represents their ideal ends up having to do a lot of things they would hate." Idealy they would identify with the hero(s) and expand their worldviews.

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>>8364912
Funnily enough, it does take inspiration (of course) from Berserk, particularly the more morbid Medieval imagery it uses (I'm a big fan of actual Medieval art and I love Berserk's fantastic take on some of the same concepts, pic related). My protagonist isn't quite Dr. Guts but she's rude and apathetic enough. I've been writing for a long time but I always tend towards these kind of very visual stories. I hope it translates okay.

>>8356785
That guy's got some pretty feminine feet
Usually it's the one thing that exposes traps but this one doesn't do so bad in that department

>>8356785
Kinky young girl who is into bdsm meets aggressive, misogynist, unstable businessman and both fall in love.

>>8362310
Literally Overlord

>>8357773
thats parasite eve

>>8366267
i don't see how it's similar beyond both being from the perspective of the evil side's perspective

overlord is a guy who becomes his MMO character who gets transported to a new fantasy world with his NPCs

mine is a human villager who tricks the horde of zombies who overran his village into thinking he's one of them and then seeing just how far he can take it when it ends up working.

>cop lives in world populated by superheroes and supervillains
>just trying to make a living with all these damned caped crusaders and bad guys running around fucking shit up all the time
>there's a cool scene where the cop goes up a really big tower to diffuse a bomb or something but a superhero punches a villan through the building and it starts to collapse and the cop has to escape falling debris and shit
>tower begins to fall, cop guy slides along floor and shoots window and goes through window and jumps into neighbouring building
>as he does this he sees the supervillain and shoots him in the head
>some more setpieces happen as a result of him killing supervillain because the minions come after him
>there's an airplane fight scene and a scene where the cop is transported into a different dimension and has to kill the Overlord
>book ends with cop getting superpowers

My book is designed to be a movie, so that's why there are so many setpieces. I'm not in it for the money, I just think that what happens in my book would be cool to watch as a movie so I'm writing it in the hopes that someone picks it up and makes it a movie.

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>>8362956
i hope there's a camel

>>8356885
I'm a bit late so you will probably not read this, but you should watch Near Death Experience. It's a french film starring Michel Houellebecq, really similar to the story you describe. Anyway, I think it's kind of cool.

>>8356939
Isn't it the plot of 50% of the novels ever written?

>>8357650
Please tell me your novel is going somewhere. I think it's great, for a sci-fi book. Do you think of it as a comedy? It could be a really dark comedy.

I'm currently writing this:
>france, 80's
>man has a steady life
>never been lucky tho
>suddenly, he can't fall asleep
>insomnia for days
>he goes to the movies
>finally falls asleep
>go to the movies all day all night, just to get a few hours of sleep
>loses job
>can't go to the movies because no money
>becomes crazy because of insomnia
>kill self

I'm not sure about the ending tho. I feel like it's not saying anything.

>>8366730

I didn't know that camels could be furry and live in the snow.

>>8366760
Dromedary pleb detected

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>>8366760
bactrians mate

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>lonely young man gets a job in one of the last actual lighthouse in his country
>he spends months in it, does his lighthouse keeper job
>sometimes sees the old lighthouse keeper who worked here before him, they talk about poetry and both love the sea
>one day, the lighthouse keeper sees someone talking to him in morse code with a flashlight
>it comes from a house, far away on the coast
>they only talk through morse code
>she's a qt, trapped in her house because her parents are really weird
>they fall in love
>never see each other

>one day, the lighthouse is shut down
>keeps the main light of the lighthouse directed to her house
>he leaves the place, crying
>a boat crashes on the coast.

It will probably take place in France, Brittany.

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>>8363066
Let's continue.

>Back at the camp
>Drifter regains consciousness thanks to settlers.
>Drifter doesn't remember how he got injured, just that he was headed for the small town.
>Drifter notices his pistol is missing.
>Settlers return it to him and sheepishly admit it was so nice they couldn't help firing it.
>Settlers explain more. They were kicked out of the town by the new government. With nowhere else to go, some founded a settlement hidden in the forest. They hope to one day take back their town, but have less chance than ever thanks to the town's new commander.
>Drifter shows interest in when the new government and commander took over, but doesn't show interest in the settlers' sob story.
>Drifter thanks the settlers and then heads for the town.

>Back at the town school
>Today is the day the girl gets kicked out of the school.
>She gathers her things and is met by the mayor and other town officials
>The mayor explains that he heard about her troubles and had arranged for her to be pulled out of school, with the intention of taking her to a better place where she could meet her potential: city hall.
>The town officials drive the mayor and girl to city hall. She looks out the vehicle and marvels at the nice building.
>Inside, the mayor and officials take her to her new private room where she unloads her things.
>They leave her to explore and get settled in, but will return tomorrow to show her where she will be working.
>She spends some time outside on the well kept grounds and some inside having a big feast.

>Drifter arrives at the town
>Guards realize he is an outsider and shadow him.
>Drifter stops at a saloon for lunch and a room.
>Guards confront him, tell him they are weary about outsiders after an attack by bandits who claimed to be helping a friend
>Guards describe how they had the bandits pinned, but then the bandits used a weapon they will never forget to get away.
>Drifter says he's just looking for work.
>Guards laugh, then sucker punch him and say that his kind is not welcome there.
>Fight ensues.
>Drifter gets the best of a couple of them, but the rest beat him up and throw him out.
>Guards settle back inside the saloon.
>Guards notice that the drifter dropped the very pistol that owned them the other day.
>Guards rush outside to try to find the drifter, but he is gone.
>Knowing he couldn't have gone far, guards call out to him, telling him they'll return his gun if he tells them where his friends are, and that it would make a nice trophy for the commander, so if he didn't come for it now, he would never see it again.
>Drifter doesn't take the bait.

>Later that night, at the camp.
>Drifter shows up with a peace offering.
>Drifter has decided to join their cause.

>Back at city hall.
>Girl looks up at the stars from her private room
>She gives thanks for her good fortune, admits her worry about living up to the expectations and finding a friend, but promises to do her best.

>>8365330
>writing for a commercial audience
>2016

>>8356785
Short story but w/e (I can't really condense the plot into a greentext)

>Meta-allegorical atmospheric story with a non linear plot that changes in narration methods. Heavy use of bold letters, italics, and punctuation. Main focus on several open ended concepts, novelty and atmosphere.

>>8366780
That's bretty gud man.

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I've wanted to write a story like it since 2005 or so, the plot came more into focus after the 2008 election and more so after coming to /lit/. A woman teacher runs for president on a semi-far leftist platform and out maneuvers the Clinton campaign at every turn despite their massive and obvious cheating. It's kind of incredible how life nearly imitated my art. And yes, this book, if I could have written it into something good, and it had caught on, would have landed me in some hot water. Don't be so naive.
But, the timing is all wrong now and I'm still not confident enough to tak on the project. It was going to be released free anyway.
(Do you even want the bullet point/green text?)

>>8358199
>Cara
Dayum
>Synopsis
Seen Dear Wendy?

>>8367778

sounds absolutely terrible. You'll probably get published if you submit it to some liberal arts college run magazine.

>>8368066
I don't intend to share this with anyone.

>regular day man who came out of millitary service
>got an office job and completed college
>starting his life, about to be married
>regular day man (not sure of the name will go with Dave for now) get vacation time
>They head out to another country
>Stay in a 5 star hotel
>bumps into friend from millitary days
>they go to his place in a sky scraper in town
>they stay with the friend for a while
>suddenly and attack on the nation arises
>people in the building are being taken hostage
>Dave has to save his fiance before she is taken prisoner
>chaos arises as more and more buildings are being attacked in the dead of night
Going to call this hell night there's alot of things that need to be smoothed out I think you get the idea though.

>>8368162
Hollywoodmovie/10

>>8368170
Not sure if thats a good thing, I'm so far 1/3rd in the story. I wanted this to originally be a videogame, but turned it into a book instead.

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>>8362956
any comments besides hoping there will be camels?

>there will be camels tho

>>8356785
>A drifter winds up in a NM city mental hospital full of crazies and ghosts

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>>8366859
today's chunk.

>At the small hidden settlement
>Settlers are disappointed to hear that the Drifter no longer has his pistol.
>Drifter seems depressed about it also.
>The Settlers ask for the story behind the pistol
>Drifter says he got it in the city.
>The Settlers get excited. They have never seen the great city. They ask if every pistol is like that in the city.
>Drifter tells them no and that it was from a girl.
>The Settlers get more excited. Most are younger than the Drifter, but the Drifter tells them it wasn't like that. She was from a different, higher class faction.
>Settlers get even more excited.
>Drifter adds she was going prison and just gave it to him for safekeeping.
>Settlers ask what she did.
>Drifter says he isn't sure.
>Settlers enthusiastically assure him she wouldn't have given him such a nice pistol unless she wanted him.
>Drifter doesn't share their enthusiasm, excuses himself, and retires to his quarters, where he has a flashback.

>>8356785
>Supernatural hunter is after a person who killed her master
>After many days of searching she finds the culprit
>Fights the killer to humiliate him before killing him
>Gets stab in the neck by a hidden retractable wrist-blade
>Dies

>>8362956
>No Llamas
Drop

>A Newly appointed Apprentice disobeys her master order and sneaks out to join him in a search for supernatural Killer
>Master is pissed at her apprentice for disobeying orders and coming here
>"Don't worry Master, It will all turn out alright."
>Master tells her to not interfere since she's too inexperience to help in the search
>Interfere Anyways since she thinks she's the Hero of a YA Novel therefore Anything she does will benefit them
>She's actually in a Deconstruction of the typical "Badass Females who does whatever they want without repercussion"
>In fact all of the two 'Heroes' and 'Villain' are a deconstruction of the Typical YA main characters

>generic fantasy world after the big baddy has been beaten
>the original four heroes who bested him are dead
>except the wizard of the group, an illusionist who, with the help of his friends, tricked the world into thinking he was some illustrious archmage
>rather than live without his only friends, he afflicts himself with a toxin that renders him delusional. letting his illusion magic run wild so he can conjure his dead friends and believe they're real
>many years down the line, a man arrives and snaps him out of his delusion, destroying what's left of the toxn
>with the promise of more of the stuff, he's strung along on a quest not as a bright-eyed adventurer with his friends, but as a bitter old man
>reminiscing and catharsis ensues
It's sort of my sendoff to baseline fantasy. I want the first thing I get published to be a loveletter to the genre, and this hits all the right buttons for me without dipping into cynicism over fantasy.

>>8367788
Thanks man. Too bad I'm a really bad fiction writer.

>>8356785
>LGBT perfected asexual reproduction
>Gay men took control of the society(will explain it a bit more in a while)
>straight men and women are hunted.
>alien race found earth and is coming
Shit man it read better in my head

>>8371102
What's the actual story? Who are the characters?

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>man is kidnapped
>wakes up in a white room full of art supplies
>no windows, not even a percievable door
>a note says he must paint a specific thing to be set free
>not told what the specific thing is
>weeks later
>room full with failed canvases
>dying of dehydration
>gives up, decides to end it
>rolls up some bristol board and shoves it down his throat
>takes a while but he does it

actually does anyone have some advice on this? inb4; kys, scrap the idea.

>>8371233
It's alright, but what is the concept, is there any resolution? What was the point?

>>8371269
its pointless, but im having trouble showing that it is. its also almost, in some subversive way, trying to reach out to plebs to show >muh artist struggle
it kind of just ends with his vision fading and his breath(or lack of) calming

>series of cringy to tragic events happens throughout a young woman's life
>she turns out to be an enormous piece of shit because she blames her uselessness on these things and her depression instead of herself
>eventually ruins her relationships with everyone except her boyfriend
>fucks off to some mountains in Asheville, NC and blows her brains out

It's a good thing I have absolutely no motivation to write this, because greentexting it makes it sound like shit.

>>8361068
So it's a retooled Don Quixote?

>>8371282
I assumed as much, well about the intentional pointlessness at least. Seems like short story material, rather than a novel.

I got a few tips: Try to not present the character a straw man, but as a product of terrible expectations and influences. And add some shit about self imposed suffering and the artist never being satisfied with his work, thus isolating himself because of his insecurities which he sees as morals.

>>8371329
Never go full projection anon.

>>8371365
yeah, i agree with trying to characterise him, give him previous influences and experiences. it is actually planned to be a sort of novelette so i might change the kidnapping part. i kind of want it to be a cerebral problem, like hes actually not trapped, just in his study. but since its from his pov it may be hard to show?

judge me or whatever but ive only been working on this for about a month and a half

>>8371409
a novelette in length, not exatly in subject matter

>>8371409
If you plan on doing it like that, then do it subtly. Small hints here and there to what is reality and what is allegory. It would work well in POV; unreliable narrator and such.

>two women fight each other, and the winner fucks the loser
>main character is a self insert character
>deals with psychopaths, gets fucked sometimes

Think Ultimate Surrender, but with a story.

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>group of people sent out to colonize space or whatever
>all but one character, (character A), in sleep stasis shit,each will wake at different times to pilot ship and perform maintenance
>character A develops schizophrenia
>weird scary shit happens
>other characters slowly come out of stasis
>starts murdering people because he doesn't know what reality is
>one character wakes to bloody horror
>tries to survive

This idea is more of a comic book idea but whatever

>in the future voting for laws to be passed no longer exists
>passing of laws is now determined by boxing match of two opposing sides
>huge corporations fund genetically modified boxers to fight for them and pass laws in their favor
>government tries to get society back on track and hires a rocky type character to experiment on

Any good? Be honest... and gentle

>>8372179
Grade-A John Green novel. Congrats

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>>8370303

>man writes shitty plot to book he'll never publish
>kills himself
easily 200 pages

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>>8372179

>>8372344
>Plot of 8 ½ but with a book instead of a movie

>>8372179
First one might be good

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>A psychic is sent to a city to investigate spooky murders
>After much prodding in the Secret Supernatural community of vampire, werewolves and various other minority races, she concludes the spooky murders are being cause by a renegade ghost out for vengeance
>She ask every leader of their respective coven on what happen to their decease members and if they had any contact with the ghost
>All but two Leaders say some sob story except for the Vampire and Fairies when reading their minds
>Vampires and Fairies are now on her watch-list due to stuttering something different and due to being nervous when question
>She ask around the Fairies so she could delve inside the minds because they are simple creatures
>She sees the fairy who died was punish for killing someone
>Wut
>Fairy leader explains anyone who kills a human are killed in either sleep or by other means by a person who could only be seen if he allows you to but also controls the subconscious mind.
>You lie
>Its obviously the vampire leader who is a creep doing all of this for a bid of power
>Starts going all badass female on those evil Son of bitches
>Vampire don't fight back in fact they are scared of something
>Yeah strong independent woman about to kill evil Vampire leader
>Gets headlock from behind and goes unconscious when no more air
>In the Epilogue she wakes up handcuff with two city officials about to be sent to the gulag for espionage
>She sees someone in the back staring at her before vanishing when walking behind a pillar
>Doesn't remember him after a seconds
>She dies of a cardiac arrest due to a failing heart rate.

>Trying to write a Urban Fantasy with Sociology of supernatural as the theme
>Socioeconomics and socio-political will also be included as the main conflict between various Supernatural races
>One of the main characters is extremely cynical due to dealing with Supernatural bullshit on a constant basis and seeing their lies
>The other main character is a newcomer who only knows the Supernatural Via T.v, Movies and YA novels
>Other assorted P.O.V are from the Vampire, werewolf, fairies and other assorted Supernaturals vying to be on top and how their pack, coven, clan, tribes, interact with one another and humans on a daily bases.

I also wanted to include a Old vs New mindset between the Supernaturals

And a West Vs East

does anyone have some advice on this?

>>8371329
So is this novel just to project your situation?

>>8361253
~With a name like Ashton Fuck, you can't go wrong.

I've got two I'll run by you
>Picaresque teenager coming of age story set in an absurd exagerated retail store
and
>Scifi frame narrative relating a colonist's ascent from a doomed backwater planet to space, formed around an insect development cycle, as an analog for both human ascent to spaceflight and developmental psychology

>>8372179
The first could at least be a good popcorn read if it plays into the isolation and paranoia of spaceflight, it's like a twilight zone episode.

The second is just... Weird. Could be a good comic book. A little less cartoonishly blatant and it could be a fun underground corruption and scandal thriller.

>>8357120
If you don't intend on getting it published then why even bother with these banal structural twists? The only purpose things like that serve is making a dumber reader feel impressed.

>>8375351
What are you trying to convey?

>>8356785
is the same "lady" who was in the cardboard box in the thread last week?

Greentext is gay

Three treasure hunters searching for guess what in panama in the early 70s

Pretty indiana jones/uncharted desu

Whether or not it's going somewhere I don't really care, it's pretty fun (kinda stressful too) to create an elaborate history and make it work into real world history and I'm having a blast so whatever dawg

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>guy fulfills his dream and goes to japan to become a manga author
>gives his all to create a fantastic story
>meager reception
>goes on for a while and hes getting depressed
>signs on with a big company and creates some bullshit he knows will be popular
>it gets rave reviews and everyone loves it
>drives him further down the hole
>tries to finish his original but no one cares about it
>works for years on the shitty one and popularity is falling
>ends up killing himself and leaving both mangas unfinished

thoughts?

>>8361253
Best ITT

>>8377298
Nice

>Girl runs from home in the 80's Spain.
>She gets to San Sebastian, in the middle of the Punk movement
>Meets some Okupas (people, usually from low parts of society who occupies other people's houses)
>She travels with this people, from a house to another,meeting people, discovering the world
>She gets arrested, so she rejoins her parents
>Open ending, what happens next is not my business

English is like my third language, so yeah, sorry about that.

>guy falls in love with a nonexistent person he sees in his dreams
>gets depressed and suicidal because he will never meet his love in real life
>realizes that his love is narcissistic
>is eventually driven insane by the desire for his love to be real and remains alone forever without escape

>>8359315
Noped

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>during a random episode of alien starship combat, one of the aliens misses with their cannon
>the slug travels hundreds of thousands of lightyears in the wrong direction, hitting earth along the way
>the remaining humans pile onto shitty boats and attempt to survive in space
>an emergency totalitarian government is established to do whatever's necessary for the continuation of the species
>as humanity recovers, outbursts of violence occur among the population as a result of the government's mandate is now perceived as outdated
>meanwhile, the aliens that shot the cannon are coming to earth

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>>8357553
Best in the thread if you ask me. Got a title?

>>8358575
I love it. It reminds me of the movie "Happiness" in that it has the kind of awkwarness that makes you feel like your'e intruding on the charecters lives. I'd reccomend getting rid of the "magically cured" part tho.

Last chapter could be called rigor mortis, please tell me where I will be able to buy it.

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>>8360726
This could work

>>8362863
Did someone actually publish your book?

>biological warfare wipes out a significant portion of the US population
>weak central government fails to establish order
>people retreat into isolated communities, organized along tribalist lines
>considers the human experience in a world where events cause them to challenge their ideas of morality and previously held beliefs of human nature
>ideas of polygamy, cannibalism, and religion and how culture adapts to the needs of the present
Don't steal

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>>8368448
I hope there will be hawks

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I just have the idea that it should be about a street surgeon/vet and be uplifting in some way. Still not sure of anything concrete.

>Man has brain abscess
>doesn't get treatment due to anxiety
>has violent thoughts of raping someone
>compares fantasies with Internet porn he's viewed
>rapes
>goes to jail
>doesn't regret it
>dies from said infection

Might be too deep for you to understand.

>>8380979
oh boy what an original idea anon

>all-knowing, mysterious, sarcastic "god" lives inside college kid's computer
>various college antics and rants
>god helps kid with life
>not sure how to end it
>7911 words so far

>Man gains ability to travel multiverse to anywhere he wants
>goes to a world where an immortality pill has been developed and is completely free
>he takes it and continues on to countless other worlds gaining more and more power: immunity to disease, poison, strength enhancements etc.
>travels to AI controlled world that he and versions like him stumbled upon where they are subsequently are captured and studied
>they implant his consciousness into a robot
>he flees to another world of versions of himself that also successfully escaped but are in robots
>he begins to lose his mind, kills other versions and collects their parts to make himself stronger
>continues his travels to other worlds with the intent to conquer them

I have no idea where to take the story next but writing this thing has been a blast

>>8356819
(you)

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>>8370007
Flashback time! In two parts!

Part 1:
>Begin flashback, no more than a year ago
>The Drifter boldly walks into an encampment belonging to a higher class faction.
>The campers watch him. He walks right to their leader, who is shooting targets across a lake, but she and they could each overpower him in a second, so they feel no threat.
>The Drifter advises her that he knows she leads a group of bandits. He warns her to stop, with the implied threat that he will stop them.
>Looking at the Drifter, she sees someone who is homeless, someone ashamed of his lower class status and his form who hides behind a large colorful poncho, someone whose eyes, despite a steely gaze, show a desperation to be accepted by her kind. She sees a loser who she can easily use, so she decides to play with him.
>She turns on the charm and goes for his weak points.
>Ignoring his spiel, she warmly invites him to take a few shots and offers him her gun.
>The Drifter accepts, but proves to be a lousy shot from that distance, yet he keeps his steely gaze.
>She giggles at his bad aim and invites him on a trip across the lake. Maybe he would hit something if they were closer to the targets.
>The Drifter accepts again.
>In the air, the Drifter's colors shine brilliantly in the sun.
>She marvels at the view for second before joining him.
>In the privacy of the air, she tells the Drifter that none of her kind look that good, and then she playfully leaves him in her dust.
>The Drifter's expression changes for a moment.

>These activities apparently convince the Drifter to join her band.
>Infighting appears in the group, and she finds out the Drifter is behind it.
>She is impressed that the Drifter wasn't completely broken, and she pulls him aside to confide in him.
>She tells him a story about her gang's main target, a high ranking Council who she blames for the problems on the planet and accuses of running the world through a puppet governor.
>Drifter is shaken by her story.
>The look on his face tells her she's won the game.

>>8381678
I'm enjoying your story a lot so far mate, continue it's intriguing!

>governmental collapse in US
>a few regimes control different parts of US, battling to retake the entirety of the country
>guy in one smaller guerrilla group attempts to destroy largest, most authoritarian and dangerous faction
>many action
>learns true motives and muh politics and shit, and becomes torn between which groups to support, or to just fuck it all and take control himself

Not sure how it's going to end

>>8381278
So Rick Sanchez, the early years?

>>8356831
>it's a girl
sad
>>8357129
salty, like the cum of a beautiful femboy ejaculating bucket loads straight into your faggot mouth

>>8356831

Jim Crace wrote something like that, called "Being Dead"

>>8356811
https://twitter.com/nekolukka
Abandon ship, it's a woman

> MC is a total robot
>shitty life and shit looks, shower like once a week
>think he's more inteligent than everyone else and despise people for that
>One day in the train as he listens to music the girl in front of him laugh at him with her friend and insult him
>Once her friend is gone they start to talk
>MC decides to stalk her when she left the train
>Finally decide to kill her because of how she treated him like trash
>Everything is seen by MC eyes in a stream of cousciousness

How fucked am I ?

>>8358443
>decide to play a
>Bridge to Terabithia + Cialis
Well done anon.

>Old schizophrenic hobo meets edgy teen.
>Barbarito Torres looking taxi driver meets aspiring writer who goes through life seeking inspiration in mundane people (she just gave the last push to a man about to kill himself).
>Both lines meet.
>Ni idea.

>>8382865
50-ish Barbarito Torres*

>>8379668
¿Empezaste ya?

>A boy awakens in a scientific facility of some sort to find it aflame and under attack from something
>He flees up a ladder, barely ahead of the flames, only to find that he's surfaced into an inhospitable desert
>At this point he starts receiving survival advice from a strange voice in his head
>The voice informs the boy that it is an advanced AI whose job it is to keep him alive, no matter what
>The boy and the AI trudge off into the desert, looking for civilization and dodging the eldritch entity that destroyed the underground facility
>Slowly start to realize that society has completely imploded and that there's nothing left to salvage
>The boy starts wanting to die...or at least have the choice of it available
>The AI refuses
>etc

Not so sure where it's going.

>child abducted by an alien slaving race
>trained to be a gladiator for the races entertainment
>he escapes with other slave aliens and they steal a warship
>become pirates

>>8357773
old people are already parasites though

>>8382699
It could be a good setup. Like, he stalks the girl and finds out some weird shit that spirals out PKD style.

>Some time in the future during an economic depression
>Disillusioned forklift driver Buck Jesus starts using his forklift to jack liquor stores
>In some time he becomes a folk legend and his forklift skills become legendary
>Copycat industrial vehicle outlaws appear
>They all try to kill the forklift renegade, to steal his street cred
>He progressively beats all of the challengers while trying to stay ahead of the corrupt police
>In the end he faces off against a guy in a big excavator
>He wins and later becomes a crackhead

>>8372179

Pandorum

>A man lives forever
>He spends that eternity on pointless addictions

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>>8381678
At last, the two threads we started off with meet!

Flashback Part 2:
>The gang moves to a lodge, where there are also some innocent lodgers.
>The tension within the group has taken a life of its own and grows exponentially without the Drifter's help.
>The leader believes the Drifter is still behind it and can't believe he is outplaying her.
>It makes her lose her mind a little bit, and unexpectedly, it also turns her on.
>Not willing to lose, she confronts the Drifter one more time, this time to break him with sex.
>A huge fight breaks out between her gang's members.
>She doesn't notice and kisses the Drifter.
>Having been broken, the Drifter kisses back.
>She and the drifter make their way to somewhere more private.
>The fight gets out of control.
>Police bust into the lodge.
>She finally notices that something is going on and leaves the Drifter to find out what.

>A while later, the Drifter walks out of the lodge.
>The whole gang had been rounded up outside and cuffed, including her.
>She is glad to see the Drifter uncuffed and figures he had been mistaken for an innocent lodger since he was new.
>She asks him, with a warm smile, to grab a box from the lodge, before the police can find it, to keep it safe for her.
>Before the Drifter can respond, the Governor appears and congratulates him, his most trusted special agent, for another successful mission.
>Drifter can't bring himself to say anything.
>She looks at the Drifter in complete disgust. The warmth had all gone.
>She is carted off by police. The Governor accompanies them.
>Alone, the Drifter returns to the lodge and finds the box. He looks inside. There's a distinctive, powerful looking pistol.
>He picks it up.
>End flashback.

In the present:
>Back in the small town, in the Commander's office.
>The Commander inspects the distinctive pistol he had been given by his troops.
>There is a knock on his door.
>The Mayor enters.
>The Mayor explains that in light of recent troubles he has found him a helping hand.
>Commander is slightly offended at the notions that there are troubles and that he needs help.
>In walks the girl the Mayor had pulled out of school.
>She cheerfully says hello.

>>8356785
>ghetto nigga travels back in time by accident
>loses memory from a blow to the head, becomes knight because that's what people think he is
>gets pulled back into the present and fights crime on horseback
>meanwhile, due to some shit that had gone on earlier (the reason why people thought he was a knight was that he'd arrived in the kingdom before another knight who was expected to make a speech unifying the nearest kingdom, and he fucked the speech up because he was high as fuck), the course of history had been radically changed
>he suddenly remembers what his old life was like and how the world was different
>teams up with a scientist to travel back through the course of history and change everything he fucked up
>scientist just turns out to be a schizo
>nigga gets put in prison because he burgled a house

The whole thing is a metaphor for the ridiculous nature of existence. I'm expecting to win shitloads of awards.

>>8356785
>three kingdoms featuring sun wukong in space