Who /English teacher/ here? >Mfw reading my students' essays

How old are they?

>>8310383
I'm going to school to be a English teacher, whats it like? Is it fun? Do other teachers like you?

>>8310383
Not a teacher but would love to hear about the worst essays for laughs. What grade?

>>8310383
Close, I grade tests but don't teach them.

Here's a gem I got earlier:

>We all want to know how a knowledgeable works but do you know how they feel inside? for example Marting Luther king jr. he was very smart, knowledgeable in his life also he persuade to peole to be together like families, back then color people don't wanted to persusde their own speech because their was rueles, the only one that can do it was Martin beuase he knew how to switch people thoughts.

>>8310423
btw this is high school English

>>8310423
what?

>>8310426
>>8310423
I believe it. I had to take standard English throughout highschool because xD so rebellious teen phase and the kids in my classes were so fucking stupid that it actually hurt me inside to listen to them.

>>8310423
what was the ethnicity of the person that wrote this

I'm going to be a teaching assistant for a freshman class next semester

>>8310423
I've read posts like this in 4chan before

>>8310423
I remember a South African lad in my year who wrote like this, he couldn't distinguish Afrikaans from English and would frequently just spell English words with an Afrikaaner dialect. Hell of a fisherman though

>>8310383
Do you get alot of pussy when you tell women you'er a teacher?

>>8310712
this

>>8310426
What grade?

>>8310383
Anyone here an English teacher in Japan? I'm considering becoming one of those living memes.

>>8311099
Are you japanese or a weeb who fell for the le move to japan to have more anime meme?

>>8311099
Is that actually still a thing?
I hung out in Japan about 10 years ago a bit with English teachers "living the life" (it was rather nice back then - relatively well paid and only 4-8 hours per day) but the big schools like AEON or Nova all imploded since then

>tfw almost done with degree

I just wanna get my damn classroom already mang

>>8311171
I'm neither a weeb nor Japanese. Never seen anime, but I've gone to Japan twice for vacation and it's fucking great. Everything is super affordable compared to Sydney (when considering the salary of being a secondary teacher in either country), everyone seems genuinely nice (unlike in other countries, where people are nice for 'business' very clearly), food is great, technology is extremely well integrated with the general infrastructure and everything's pretty comfy. Also, twice girls have tried to hit on me there initially thinking I was Japanese (I'm East Asian and well dressed) and despite finding out that i'm not they still persisted. I don't get the racism meme, because when I went there my sister and I spoke English, but maybe it was because we looked East Asian.

>>8311174
I'm not sure how big of a 'thing' it is now but two of my high school friends (given, one was a massive, nearly insufferable tier weeb) moved there and also claim to be 'living the life' as of 3 months ago

>>8311180
Nice to see a anon who is happy.

Also, how does japanese pussy taste?

>>8311190
Radiation and seafood

>>8311190
i'm going there again next March and I'll hopefully find out by then, as the last time I went I had just turned 18 and had to go back to my hotel room by 12. According to my English teacher friend even the most explosively extroverted Japanese girls are completely dormant in bed and expects the guy to do everything. Also the vast majority of Japanese girls aren't open to dating whites, but those who are are apparently extremely fervent in that they have 'low' standards

>>8311197
go fuck yourself

>>8311202
What's wrong, anon?

>>8311099
Yes. It's more splintered now, especially if you're American. People in cities are used to foreigners enough that they can tell who the autists are, so it ends up being like a more extreme version of home (cocky jock assholes swim in pussy, betas hikikkomori).

What do you want to know?

>>8311197
I had a Japanese girl who went on top but she had been Westernised for a few years.

>>8311208

To be honest I haven't done any research. Only reason I'm so charmed with the place is that it honestly feels Utopian in contrast with pretty much everywhere else I've been.

How proficient do I have to be in spoken and written Japanese to become a secondary teacher there?

Do the diasporas of English speaking countries there congregate and socialise together, or do they integrate socially?

Since I'm East Asian (half Chinese, half Korean) and not Japanese, should I expect racism there when I start ebbing into society and start socialising with people on a personal level?

>>8311220
Yes, expect racism. It usually isn't intentional but it is here. Don't take it personally like a lot of foreigners do.

Beware the gaijin bubble. Japanese proficiency isn't really required here, and as an English teacher you'll likely find it harder to study Japanese in Japan than back home (most English schools have a strict no Japanese policy and 9 hours everyday speaking English at work a fluent Japanese speaker does not make) so it's very easy to wind up only speaking English with only foreigner friends. If you can live in a share house with Japanese people you should be fine.

Always remember that Japan still has a master morality society, so you need to figure out the important rules and abide by them, but be confident and assert yourself everywhere else.

>>8311233
Cheers anon

I've never taught english, but I've taught physics. It was an internship at a shit school where, as a high schooler, I was basically a TA.
I remember one day the professor asked the class for a trig function that was 1 at 90 degrees. The answer is sine, which you would know if you took sophomore-level math in hs.
One student shouted "gravity," and the professor said no.
Another student thought gravity was right but the other student was only wrong because he didn't raise his hand. Still wrong.
Another student raised his hand and said "up."
Somehow these kids were on track to graduate with engineering degrees.

>>8311197
Uhh when I was on vacation in Japan i had no troubles finding girls that liked white guys. Even more than Korea. What city were you in?

>>8311099
I teach in Korea. Been here year and a half. Planning on finishing in the spring, then getting my masters and then teaching at International schools or DoD schools.

>>8311251
holy shit that's hilarious

why didn't you read Stoner? why?

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>>8311251
No way I'm believing this

>>8310541
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNJVMJH5OhI

>>8310712
>>8311061
you get summers off so when youre in your 20s you basically get paid to go on vacation

once you get into your 30s most people start finding other gigs in the summer to supplement their income.

but no, being a teacher doesnt impress anyone. just gives you some free time.

>>8311174
Nova reformatted and is still around.

It's okay

>>8310423
reading garbage like this makes me glad that my parents sent me to private school.

>>8310423
Highschool essays made me want to hang myself. Then, sophomore year I realized I wasn't going to college and dropped out. Essays in highschool made me want to commit suicide via shotgun mouthwash.

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>>8311380
>muh sekrit club education!
Fucking hell

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>>8310423
Sounds like an ESL student. I would not pick on them. There are plenty of native English speakers who are just as bad.

>>8310383
I was one of those kids who was a native English speaker, but terrible writer. I was not just a terrible writer either. I was dumb as rocks too. Those went hand in hand.

Nonetheless, I weaseled my way into the two AP English classes. I was absolutely not anywhere close to the level of the other students, but getting to read their writing and then seeing other short examples of well written stuff really saved me five years later when I finally had my mental awakening. If I never got to read that stuff, I really don't think I would have been able to salvage my writing. There is just no way I would have been able to orient myself.

Anyway, I am not 100% sure what my problems were back then. One thing that definitely hurt me though were all those grade school rules about 5 paragraphs, topic sentences, hooks at the beginning, and so on. In retrospect, none of those ever helped. They only confused me and made me waste a bunch of time. One of the first things I did when I had my mental awakening was say "fuck all that", and then I devised my own process for writing.

For practice, I started writing essays on my free time, and then I spent months editing and rewriting them. I still edit my favorite one to this day, years later. It was during all that time editing and rewriting that I think I really helped myself, because I was putting a lot of thought into writing, what it was supposed to accomplish, and how best to accomplish it.

Now, guess what. I never got to edit a single thing in school. That is another thing that probably hurt me. I never got to do the thing in school that I later found to be the most helpful. In school it was always about turning in one thing, forgetting about it forever, and then moving on to the next thing. What a shame.

I think I could go on, but this is enough for now.

>>8311458
K that's all fine but brush up on your comma usage nigga. You keep producing punctuation for a subjunctive clause when one comma would do.

It looks like you read translations of German or French works and gleaned how to use a comma from them by instinct.

>>8311480
>>8311480
I don't know what you mean by subjunctive clause or producing punctuation but would appreciate an explanation.

Anyway, I have been thinking about commas lately. I used to use them exclusively to make sure the meanings of my sentences were as unmistakable as possible, but I have finally admitted that using them that way also made the sentences harder to read, so now I am interested in finding a balance between readability and clarity. The result might not end up being in line with any set of accepted writing rules, but I don't care. I don't think much of them anyway. I feel like I could beat every single one of them right now just by not capitalizing "I" anymore or the first letter of every sentence.

>>8311089
10th.

I wish I had saved the one that kept fucking up platitudes earlier. At one point it kept repeating "whatever kills you makes you alive".

Anyone have the pic of the joke essay that guy submitted that the professor went and edited?
I think the subject was something Greek

>>8311451
One way or another, everyone gets a Sekrit Club education. Poorfags in bad neighbourhoods get to pretend they're hard. And you can get a "good" state education, too.

My parents were much too left-wing to send me to a private school. Something about the thought of paying for their children to have a better head start than the rest of the country just didn't sit with them. So they moved to the most expensive and middle-class part of the country, which, unsurprisingly, also had the best state schools.

No one at my grammar school actually needed to go to grammar school.

>>8311251

they were fucking with him, genius.

>>8310383
In my first year teaching I had to teach Nineteen Eighty Four to a class with several special needs kids. Fun times.

>Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell is real. Corporations know what we want to buy because of what we like on facebook, they are everywhere. Winston is like us because he has no privacy.

I had to take this essay to the faculty head because I had no idea what the fuck to do with it. Kid flunked but his dad bribed the school to keep him.

>>8312075
Is that the entirety of the essay?

All the points made are valid

>>8312075
>>Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell is real. Corporations know what we want to buy because of what we like on facebook, they are everywhere. Winston is like us because he has no privacy.
You took him to the principal over this?

Because all of those things are correct. The kid is quite obviously pretty clever.

Too bad his teacher is a fucknugget.

>>8312075
It's a bit of a reach and its extrapolated to attempt to fit the generation he grew up in, but why did you have "no idea what the fuck to do with it"?

>>8312116
>>8312106
Huh, I thought I was on /lit/, not /x/ or /pol/. Listen, kids, the big scary 'gubmint' doesn't care about what kind of hentai you jerk off to or your anonymous, online ramblings about evil Jews destroying white people. Your paranoid delusions are holding the internet back from full integration with our lives.

>>8312131
You reported your student to the principal because he analysed the assigned text and made a valid comparison to reality.

That's what you did.

You're a fucking terrible human being.

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>>8312142
>valid

>>8312106
>>8312116
>>8312121

I didn't take the kid to the principal. I took his essay for the precise reason that the points made were correct but the writing style was shit and the essay was supposed to be a 500 word exploration of Winston's character. Also this kid was 18 years old. The principal flunked him, not me.

>>8312131
>be normal everyday person
>be on facebook
>like company
>search for company or thing on google
>look at facebook ads
>all now relate to thing
It's not even conspiracy, it's just the truth

>>8312142
See >>8312152.

I didn't "report" the kid. I was an inexperienced teacher who was hit with something that was more or less valid BUT had no correlation with the actual assignment and had to ask someone more experienced for help.

>>8311251
>>8311352
>>8311332

Although it may seem like absurd answer, gravity is actually an often seen component in force diagrams. You use trigonometry to figure out simple force vectors, so it's possible that they were just misinterpreting the question. A component of the trig function may have been 9.8 ms^2, which is the force of gravity. I can see how students could get easily confused.

>>8310383
Ever shagged any of yer students?

>>8312075
I mean that's not that bad--
>>8312152
Oh.

>>8311451
i never said it was a secret club. most of the students at the schools i attended were working class, myself included.

>>8312261
>working class
>private school
Not a thing, me old chap.

Maybe you mean a non-fee-paying grammar school.

>>8312283
There's plenty of private schools for working class families. The only reason I didn't attend one is because all the nearby ones were Catholic schools and my father, a relapsed Catholic, wouldn't even hear the idea of his son going to a Catholic school mentioned in his presence.

>>8310423
>tfw my whole class wrote shit like that
>i wrote a shitty essay on Camus
>"wow anon you so smat you probably read the whole day that's why you stay at home all the time haha"
highschool is hell

>>8311251

>>8312184 is on track. They might have been confusing it with the normal force, which is mass * gravity * sinTHETA. The normal force equals your weight on a flat surface and points up at 90 degrees. The question might have been worded more confusing than you think.

>>8312283
catholic schools are private schools, and they offer reduced tuition to students from poor and working class families in exchange for services to the school and church.

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>>8312382
>they offer reduced tuition to students from poor and working class families in exchange for services
>poor and working class families in exchange for services
>in exchange for services
>services
Father McEwan loves a bit of rough

>>8312131

Wow you're thick.

>>8312394
it was mostly just working the booths at the annual carnival and cleaning up after.

Im going to be an English teacher. Is it wise to continue schooling and get a MA, or is a BA enough?

>>8312521
If your MA is funded, do it. If it isn't, wait till you get a position. Some school districts will offer incentives to get your MA after you're employed.

>>8311480
>subjunctive clause
It is readily apparent that you do not know what the word "subjunctive" means.

>>8312184
>>8312332
I wish they'd been making a simple mistake like that, but they were engineering students that did not know what a trigonometric function was. It wasn't a confusingly worded question. I graded hundreds of their tests and labs, and while many of them were actually putting effort in and trying to learn, they often seemed to just hit a wall with understanding the concepts. Other students skipped class and got below-40s on tests.
It was really just a shit-tier stem school full of kids that got rejected from the very highly ranked stem school half an hour from where I lived.

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>>8310426
lying pos

>>8312671
Why do you think I'm lying? I'd tell you specifically what state test it is, but I don't trust 4chan not to try to tattle on me. It's definitely sophomore English though.

I just tried to surround myself with smart motherfuckers in HS, helped me realize how fucking stupid I am, man I fucked up HS pretty bad

>>8312675
I'm saying you're a liar because you probably signed a motherfucking non-disclosure you faggot. nobody cares about your gloating over being smarter than what are probably inner city kids on an anonymous thai ladyboy appreciation image board

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>>8312466
>working the booths

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>people who think modern day education, inspired by Prussian schools designed to create citizens/soldiers not intellectuals, is supposed to create intellectuals rather than citizens.

>>8312689
How would signing a non-disclosure make me a liar in this case?