I'm about to crap my pants, what do?

Fun fact, I nearly shit myself twice today. During my lunch break I saw a woman vomit into a sandwich baggy with two flip phones inside it and I laughed so hard I had to squeeze pretty damn tight. Later I was just holding it in and was on my way to the bathroom.

I'm taking a shit as I post this. It's taking forever to come out and I'm enjoying it. I've got all night, baby. Take your time.

Bring a book of short stories with you to the bathroom, or listen to an audiobook/live performance by Charles Bukowski while you're wiping up the mess.

pull em down and watch how it all falls.

Interesting thread, OP.

remember the categorical imperative

kill you're are self

>>8299791
>nearly

If you haven't done at least one important meeting/performance/whateverthenameofyourgame with literal small pieces of shit in your underwear from not being able to hold it in nor get a proper opportunity to expel, you haven't lived