Best opening lines? >“I am an invisible man.”

>>8258875
>In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly fishing

>>8258875
>"My name is Ishmael"

>It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

>It was the best time but also the worst time

>The sky above the port was the color of television, turned to a dead channel.

Thirty-six days of endless darkness.

>It was a pleasure to bum

...my copy had fucked up kerning

>>8258947
You butchered it.

>It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

>>8258937
It's "Call me Ishmael" you fucking pleb

>>8258977
>>8258986
dude, those are jokes

you do realise that right? like you didn't actually think he was being serious right?

>A yelling comes across the sky.

>>8258998
Like >>8258993 said, I was being ironic (I'm only one of those replies).

Actually I wasn't being ironic, I'm retarded desu

>>8258998
>suddenly being serious about joking

>>8258875
I prefer Dosto's:

>I am a sick man...I am a wicked man

>>8258937

It's
>"Greetings, I am the one called Ishmael."

Idiot.

riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend
of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

>I am sitting in an office, surrounded by alot of people.

>I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and quickly.”

>>8259070
r/cringe

Up in the air there came a big cry or scream you could even say.

Stanley, a plump guy, came from the stairs bearing a bowl of water.
''per aspera ad astra''

>hi every1 im new!!!!!!!holds up spork my name is ishmael, but u can call me 1shy!!!!!!!!

>Late in the winter of my 17th year, my mother decided I was depressed, presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same book over and over, ate infrequently and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time thinking about death.

>>8258937
>>8259036
Kek

>Pretty sure my mum died yesterday.

>>8259120
>Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, idk

>Who is John Galt?

Enlightenment came to Patera Silk on the ball court; nothing could ever be the same after that.

This one time, and it was a good time, there was a cow coming down the lane, and this cow that was coming down the lane met a nice little boy named young Tuckoo.

Lolita, my lonely lover, my little slut.

>>8259032
>I am a sick man... I am a wicked man... I am... the underground man

Tolstoi you hack

It was only then he realised his true identity. Gregor Samsa was Spiderman,

>>8258971
Kek

>>8258965
This is great.

>The two of us wrote Anti-Oedipus together. Since each of us was several,
there was already quite a crowd. Here we have made use of everything that
came within range, what was closest as well as farthest away. We have
assigned clever pseudonyms to prevent recognition. Why have we kept our
own names? Out of habit, purely out of habit. To make ourselves unrecognizable
in turn.

>Μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ | Πηληιάδεω Ἀχιλῆως

>>8258998
These irony levels lmao

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>>8258937
.>>8258977
Trolled, fucking plebs.

"If Lord Stannis and Rob Stark fight each other...it will be a clash of kings"

"The Great Gataby woke up and read the paper over eggs and coffee. "

It was a sunny day on the animal farm and everyone was working.

''So what will it be, hm?''

>>8259032
>wicked

triggered

>Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself.

>>8258965
Fucking Neuromancer. I might pick up Penguin's new hardcover release of it, nice and simplistic

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>>8258875
Arms! and the man I sing, who forced by fate
And Haughty Juno's unrelenting hate
Expelled and exiled left the Trojan shore
Long labours, by sea and land he bore
and in that doubtful war, before
The Latian realm was won
and built, the destined town
from whence the race of Alban fathers come
and long glories of majestic Rome.

>>8258875
>"Fuck, OP is such a faggot, I'm ashamed of being her mother"

>>8259124

Honestly I think this is great, the mystery really kept me reading.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

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>>8258875
Hwaet!

>>8258937
It's "Yo soy ishmael" you retarded cunt.

>Going to bed early is kinda cool

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

>>8259537
Llamadme Ismael pedazo de retrasado

There was once a boy named Milo who didn't know what to do with himself—not just sometimes, but always.

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>>8258993
>>8258998
>falling for an obvious ironic metatroll

>Dear diary

Stately fat, Bat Mackagan came from the ladderbottom bearing a bowl of lava on which Mirror's Edge lay crossed

>>8259666
gud 1

>>8258875
In finnish:
Mieleni minun tekevi,
Aivoni ajattelevi,
Lähteäni laulamahan,
Saa'ani sanelemahan,
Sukuvirttä suoltamahan,
Lajivirttä laulamahan.
Sanat suussani sulavat,
Puhe'et putoelevat,
Kielelleni kerkiävät,
Hampahilleni hajoovat.

In english (sadly, things are lost in translation)
Mastered by desire impulsive,
By a mighty inward urging,
I am ready now for singing,
Ready to begin the chanting
Of our nation's ancient folk-song
Handed down from by-gone ages.
In my mouth the words are melting,
From my lips the tones are gliding,
From my tongue they wish to hasten;
When my willing teeth are parted,
When my ready mouth is opened,
Songs of ancient wit and wisdom
Hasten from me not unwilling.

We wuz KangZ an sheit.

>ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, μοῦσα, πολύτροπον, ὃς μάλα πολλὰ,
>πλάγχθη, ἐπεὶ Τροίης ἱερὸν πτολίεθρον ἔπερσεν·

>>8259530
Absolute patrician.

>As he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to score some ice.

>>8259956
Yeah probably this for real tho

>>8259963
Get it?

Anyone?

>>8259963
>>8260013
Is this a bad translation of 100 years of solitude, or something? I'm not a pleb; I read the Spanish version, so I don't get it, sorry.

Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I could see them hitting.

>>8258947
LMAO

>>8259956
This is the only answer. Anon is a true patrician.

>>8258937
>>8258947
>>8258965
>>8259036
>>8259515
>>8259963

Get the fuck off my board plebs if you can't even quote a fucking line of literature properly, o how the mighty have fallen.

>>8258875
Zarathustra stepped out of his cave or something

>>8260052
dude you're not even trying now, come on dude you s u c c

>>8260047

>DUDE IRONY LMAO

>>8260047
are you fucking retarded?

>>8260058
>he fell into the sincere meme of ilicitating a derogatory ironic response

lul

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul, lo-lee-ta.

>And but so, it was all an infinite jest

>>8260104
actually it's
>And but so, it was all an infinite jest [1].

>>8259742
Sounds great.

>>8259742
That Finnish sounds so lush.

>>8258990
What it's this from?

>>8259062
fuck off

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Weia! Waga!
Woge, du Welle,
walle zur Wiege!
Wagala weia!
Wallala, weiala weia!

>>8260067
>lul

>>8258937
*record scratch*
*freeze frame on a man floating on a coffin*

Yup, that's me. Ishmael.

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>>8258875
I think Ha Jin won some yearly award for the best opening line with Waiting
>Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu
And for my money, he should have an award. It has a folkloric touch to it, and I do believe you could call it Kafkaesque, just as I'm 90% certain that Jin alludes to Kafka when at some point the sound of a murder of crows is compared to starved ghosts.

>>8260278

>Waiting

One of the only books in the past 5 years I read entirely the way through on one sitting, it was so wonderful.

What?

>>8260071
Lolita... the light for my wife, the fire for my joints. My sin, my grin. Lol-eater: the top of my tongue taking a vacation three feet away to tap on a plate, for some reason, with my teets. Lolit. A. She was Lolit, plain Lolit, in the morning, standing eight feet six in one shoe. She was Loooool in slacks. She was Lmao at school. She was Dolores when she was eating a vegetable. But my arms were always tortillas.

>>8260140
yes it does, not completely happy with the translation I found though. Really gives you the idea that something from the past has come back through the narrator

>>8260192
It's so much better when you understand the meanings behind the words, I'll translate the text word by word, so you'll get the meaning but it's no longer in kalevala-metre or is it poetic anymore:

Mind of mine doth,
Brain of mine thinketh,
To part to sing,
My words to say,
Familyhymn to spew,
Kindredhymn to sing,
Words melt in my mouth,
Speeches fall,
Hasten in time to my tongue,
Break unto my teeth.

>>8258915
I like this one

>>8258875
>"For the relief of mild to moderate pain including headache, migraine, neuralgia, toothache, sore throat and preiod pains."

The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.

>"a yelling flies through the air"

>>8258875
>This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.

>>8260210
Because It Is Bitter, and Because It Is My Heart

"I say this with as much apathy as can be allowed: killing god was a mistake."

*AHEM*'

1.1 - Does cum-eating have any long term health benefits?
“OY FUCKING CUMSWAPPER”

The woman pushed on the baby's stomach and sucked its penis into her mouth; it was thinner than the American menthols she smoked and a bit slimy, like raw fish.

ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE

>>8261892
Is that from the brilliant EA game, Dante goes Infernal in Paradise?

>>8260355
I read Kalevala in Serbian. This is how it goes in my copy from the 70's.

Misao mi moja zbori,
U duši mi želja gori,
Da pevanje pesme počnem,
I besedu da otpočnem,
Da otpevam pesmu rodnu,
Runu slavnu, pesmu zgodnu,
Kroz usta mi reči teku,
Zapljuskuju usnu meku,
Po jeziku mome jure,
Kroz zube se gone, žure.


I know it's a translation, but it sounds so nice nonetheless.

>>8261952
It sounds like kebab removing

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Skilliam Alderwick devoured a plate of peas on the cool October morning of the year of our lord 1846; within his house at 17 Whitetower Road, London; 'peas, peas, peas, wherefore was my mind countenanced by the maid?', Skilliam chattered to himself before yelping, 'Ms. Hamilton! bring me more peas you succubi! you minx, thou daemon in a silk gown, woman, here!', he cried before collapsing, clutching his heart in agony, 'the peas... the peas... Poison! poison!'.

How the fuck did Charles Dickens have the nerve to put his name to such trash?

"Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA".

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>>8262406
thats honestly really bad, what is it from?

>>8262413
truly the moby dick of cinekino

>>8262420
haha, too ebin

April is the cruelest month

Nadie lo vio desembarcar en la unánime noche

Borges in general tb.h.

Dignified, fat Malachi Mulligan arose from downstairs, carrying a lather bowl with a razor and a mirror on top of it.

>>8259742
Excessive alliteration really grinds my goddamn gears.

>>8259530
The only true answer.
>>8259037
Debatably not the opening line.

For a long time Gregor Samsa used to go to bed early.

What happens next is fuckin' INSANE so I won't spoil it

Achilles' wrath, to Greece the direful spring
Of woes unnumber'd, heavenly goddess, sing!

In keeping with the OP image.

>>8258875

Heys guys

its me haha!

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'Alussa oli suo, kuokka ja Jussi'

'In the beginning, there was a swamp, a mattock and Jussi'

also:

'Jukolan talo, eteläisessä Hämeessä, seisoo erään mäen pohjoisella rinteellä, liki Toukolan kylää'

'The house of Jukola, in southern Tavastia, stands on a certain hills northern slope, near the village of Jukola'

>>8262482
Why the fuck does Finnish sound like something you'd find in Africa?

>>8262485
Cause they was kangs

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>>8262485
(throat singing intensifies)

>>8260277
Laughed heartily, mate.

>>8259075
>browsing reddit

>>8262485
Glorious finnish, high-tier text:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0jRBLKdzdsy

Pitiful african, poorly written nonsense:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NlSpanSGUS

>>8262515
Sounds the same.

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>>8262519
>Sounds the same

The recent study published in the Helsinki univeristys linguistics department dissecting this phrase found that english is actually a branch of the niger-congo languages and that after the brexit it is most likely that Britain will seek refuge in the African Union

>>8262515
I think its kind of fucked up that Chinua Achebe wrote in English instead of his native language.

>There will come a time, I said, when all of us are dead. All of us.

This.

>>8262476
Which translation is this?

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>>8262596
Pope, you pic related.

The wide, round rump straining against the purple lycra pants of the white woman in front of him in line at the corner shop stirred in D'Quan dim, dreamlike memories of the Serengeti buried in his blood, setting his heart pounding like a jungle drum and his long coal-black pestle nudging the fabric of his basketball shorts.

"I told my dentist all this."

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>>8262635

oops, forgot image

Someone was yelling in the sky. They yelled before a few times, I think, but this time's different I think.

It's pretty late. People are leaving and stuff, but everything is so, like, pointless. The cars are all dark, or whatever. Those dudes probably can't see. Above them is some old stuff. Lots of old stuff. You know, like metal and stuff. But old. Yeah, but it's like super dark, so they can't see it. The old stuff, I mean. Some dude saw it earlier, and there's some glass or whatever, and he's sort of afraid it might fall, but it's real dark. So dark. Like, your shirt, but even darker man. Yeah, even darker than that.

Greg woke up one day to find after a nightmare he'd become in his futon a bug. "Mom's gonna freak," he thought to himself.

>>8259070
kek

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>>8259742

interesting

does fingolian have a literary tradition of medieval alliterative poetry like english?

Perle, pleasaunte to prynces paye
To clanly clos in golde so clere,
Oute of oryent, I hardyly saye,
Ne proued I neuer her precios pere.
So rounde, so reken in vche araye,
So smal, so smoþe her sydeȝ were,
Quere-so-euer I jugged gemmeȝ gaye,
I sette hyr sengeley in synglere.
Allas! I leste hyr in on erbere;
Þurȝ gresse to grounde hit fro me yot.
I dewyne, fordolked of luf-daungere
Of þat pryuy perle wythouten spot.

Syþen in þat spote hit fro me sprange,
Ofte haf I wayted, wyschande þat wele,
Þat wont watȝ whyle deuoyde my wrange
And heuen my happe and al my hele.
Þat dotȝ bot þrych my hert þrange,
My breste in bale bot bolne and bele;
Ȝet þoȝt me neuer so swete a sange
As stylle stounde let to me stele.
For soþe þer fleten to me fele,
To þenke hir color so clad in clot.
O moul, þou marreȝ a myry iuele,
My priuy perle wythouten spotte.

>>8259403
In order to do this, I must become Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

>>8262482
How are either of those good opening lines? Boring as fuck establishing lines.

I'll probably get shit for this but

>"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."

From a little after two o'clock until almost sundown of the long still hot weary dead September afternoon they sat in what Miss Coldfield still called the office because her father had called it that — a dim hot airless room with the blinds all closed and fastened for forty-three summers because when she was a girl someone had believed that light and moving air carried heat and that dark was always cooler, and which (as the sun shone fuller and fuller on that side of the house) became latticed with yellow slashes full of dust motes which Quentin thought of as being flecks of the dead old dried paint itself blown inward from the scaling blinds as wind might have blown them.

>>8262638
Is this John Green?

>>8258947
>It was the best of times; it was the blurst of times

>>8258875

>>>/r/books

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>>8262788
Cultural importance and setting the scene, especially the one from Under the North Star

'Alussa oli suo, kuokka ja Jussi', is the most famous phrase in all finnish literature, maybe only rivaled by the ending of the Unknown Soldier, 'Aika velikultia.'
It gives you the idea of a nothingess, a time before time, of which Jussi will transform the swamp into a field with the mattock and hard work. He builds his houses and farms the cold and hard ground with little results, but he endures and eventually becomes the patriarch of the Koskela family, which will endure the civil war, the winter war and the continuation war.
But as time passes, faces come and go, we can always remember where it all started, what it was started with and who started everything - from a swamp, with a mattock and it was Jussi

Two clips so you get the idea of the milieau and so on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfzTdANR3yE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L-j2K3w0i8

>>8259523

The book was written well. The characters were interesting. There is a possibility for one to read a book and separate themselves from it's message. That is, to ignore the message, understand it, but ignore it and just enjoy what happens.

Atlas Shrugged was a good fucking book, and the philosophy written in it (lol philosophy) is perfect....for the world the book takes place in. Never have I been more encouraged to go bash in welfare cunts. Hated those leeches.

Either way. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

>>8262788
"Alussa oli suo, kuokka - ja Jussi" is the finnish "to be or not to be"

>>8262899
I think that speaks more to the state of Finnish literature rather than the quality of the line. If all it takes to establish cultural importance is mentioning a local town, you guys have a problem.

>>8262901
That's sad.

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>>8262902
>If all it takes to establish cultural importance is mentioning a local town

It is the opening line of the first completely finnish language novel you uncivilized rodent. If you didn't know that, you have a problem.

>>8262910
Things that people don't understand usually makes them sad

>A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communism.

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>>8262927

>>8262927
And? That doesn't make it a good opening line. I'm sorry Finnish literature is so shit that a bland and uninteresting description of location is the best example of writing you can point to.

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>>8263493
>>8262910
>>8262902
>>8262788
>>8262519
>>8262485
>This guy

Ishmael died today. Or maybe yesterday; I can't be sure.

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>>8258986
Delighted by your response. Love you -- platonically

>>8262816

it's the opening to a book called Garvity's Raimbow

>>8263508
Ishmael, light of my life, fire of my loins.

>i'm in some room with heads and arms surrounding me

>What I will now begin telling you is all true, Harry Potter, and the deathly hallows part too.

>>8258875

>A young, white forehead boring through the darkness.

>the telephone went off while i was cooking spaghetti and whistling along to some classical music that seemed to be made for pasta cooking

>>8263556
it was the best of loins, it was the worst of loins

>>8263633

Is this a parody of that one greentext rewriting Genesis in Murakami's style.

That's niche brother.
Realllll niche.

And also badly written.

>>8263641
>murakami
it´s the badly written opening line from twubc so i don´t know what your problem is right now

>>8260067
Means dick in Dutch.

>>8263650

I spelled his name right didn't I?
Also didn't realise it was from twubc
Just thought it was a tropey premise of his to move the plot alone with cooking, classical music, and a phonecall from a girl

>>8259963
7.5/10 bretty gud

>>8258990
Fuck that is good.whats the book?

>>8263721
see >>8260550

>>8258875

> In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

I wake up... The touch of that cold object against my penis wakes me up... I didn't know I could pee without being aware of it.

>>8263872
Pretty good, but I'd go with "wiener" in place of "penis."

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>>8263766
>translations

Hey there, got a cigarette? Trade you a story...

>>8263640
Gregor Samsa awoke one morning after an uneasy dream to find himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous loin.

>>8259742

Zu'u Alduin. Zok sahrot do naan ko Lein!