I met him today. By chance. Knew it was him on sight. Needless

(I left him with a business card that had this board's URL on it. You're welcome.)

>>8163494
no you didn't

I saw Thomas Pynchon at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I saw Tom at a Barnes and Nobles a few years back, it was right after his Simpsons episodes. He was wearing the outfit he wore in the episode and signing books yelling the stuff he said in the episode. I went up to him and said

Me: Excuse me, sir.
Him: What?
Me: Y-you wouldn't... happen to be... l-legendary... /reclusive author/... (his expression darkens) JD Salinger, would you? I thought you died!
(he stares at me for a second and then starts guffawing; doubles over)
Him: Oh my god, man. What the hell.
Me: Mr JD, it's really you! I loved your book, Infinite Jest!
(at this point he is laughing so loud people have turned to look)
(we are shopping)
(jokes are exchanged, and we shake hands before parting ways)
(the other shoppers applaud)

and the rest is history.

>>8163513
>and closing his hand shut in front of my face
Every damn time

To the person doubting this account- it did actually happen yesterday in Manhattan. That grocery store tale never happened, though, I don't even like Milky Ways.