/lit/ humor thread

ah, blood meridian, monsieur? that novel is the sark and chaparral of literature, the filament whereon rode the remuda of highbrow, corraled out of some destitute hacienda upon the arroya, quirting and splurting with main and with pyrolatrous coagulate of lobated grandiloquence. our eyes rode over the pages, monsieur, of that slatribed azotea like argonauts of suttee, juzgados of swole, bights and systoles of walleyed and tyrolean and carbolic and tectite and scurvid and querent and creosote and scapular malpais and shillelagh. we scalped, monsieur, the gantlet of its esker and led our naked bodies into the rebozos of its mennonite and siliceous fauna, wallowing in the jasper and the carnelian like archimandrites, teamsters, combers of cassinette scoria, centroids of holothurian chancre, with pizzles of enfiladed indigo panic grass in the saltbush of our vigas, true commodores of the written page, rebuses, monsieur, we were the mygale spiders too and the devonian and debouched pulque that settled on the frizzen studebakers, listening the wolves howling in the desert while we saw the judge rise out of a thicket of corbelled arches, whinstone, cairn, cholla, lemurs, femurs, leantos, moonblanched nacre, uncottered fistulas of groaning osnaburg and kelp, isomers of fluepipe and halms awap of griddle, guisado, pelancillo.

Yeah, I actually read the whole thing because I had to. I was entering a prestigious PhD program and focusing on Joyce because I loved Dubliners, Portrait, and Ulysses. To my shame, though, I'd never read the Wake. I'd never even tried, as hard as that was to admit. It was this huge blind spot and area of vulnerability for me. Whenever it'd come up with my colleagues I'd just smile and nod, smile and nod, hoping they wouldn't ask me anything specific about it. "The musicality of it," somebody would say, and I'd say, "Oh God, yes, it's like Beethoven." Finally, though, I had to dive into it, and let me tell you it was tough going. Joseph Campbell's guide helped a lot. Reading it out loud helped. I listened to other people read it, read online commentaries. Eventually it started to make some sort of sense. It was like I was learning to read for the first time again, and in a way this was enjoyable. I got better at reading the book. Soon I was reading entire paragraphs without trouble, getting the puns, laughing at the jokes. I could sort of follow the story, it was like a blurry picture resolving into clarity, or like I was drunk and I was sobering up, I could actually understand it. As I became more and more adept at reading the Wake, I began putting myself to the test, initiating conversations with my colleagues about it, but specific passages this time, specific parts of the book. You can probably guess what happened. After a number of these conversations it became blindingly obvious that I understood the book a lot better than they did, they who I thought were the experts. It eventually became sort of embarrassing for them and I stopped trying to talk about it. And at the end of the day I would pack my things, catch the bus home, and settle into my apartment to read the Wake. It had surpassed all of Joyce's other works in my estimation. Ulysses, the book months earlier I would've named as my favorite of all time, the best book ever written, was now #2 to the Wake. So majestic, so ambitious, so wide-ranging, erudite, glorious, incredible was it that I couldn't believe that it was the work of one man. Best of all, the heart of it isn't complicated at all. What did I get from the Wake, what are its lessons? First of all, be yourself. Second of all, put one foot in front of the other. And lastly, just do it for crying out loud, time's a wastin'!

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>>8087981

>>7794855

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>>8088026
I think it was a genuine post, and that's more sad than funny.

Are you guys ever too angry to laugh?

>>8088131
I was angry, but then I read your post and laughed.

>>8088118
lmao

>>8088983
It's funny because it's already done.

>>8088118
I remember this thread, what a laugh.

Can someone post the one with the girl yelling CUNT/KANT at anon because he decided to leave morally pure?

>>8088777
HAAHHAHAAH HAHAHA
literally lolling out loud laughing

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>>8088008
gets me every time

>look at books all day
>Chad looks at Stacey's nudes

>>8089714
Why not both?

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>>8089432

>>8088026
>mocking someone for liking Vonnegut, one of the most respected fiction writers of the past century, just because his writing is accessible

You people are arrogant shits.

>>8090660
hello plebbit

>>8089871
i don't think that's all that funny objectively but i did have a pretty good laff reading it

>>8090603
Thanks. I thought he had posted a pic as well but I guess I remembered wrong.

>>8090680
that wasn't funny budd-o

>>8090680
>>8090687
I laughed out loud at the end.

>>8090695
just hover over the fucking spoilers when you take a screenshot

it's not that hard

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>>8090695

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>>8090693
terribly unfunny

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>>8090699
not my screenshot

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What, nobody has any lit humor anymore?
Fuck you's all
I bet nobody here even remembers these days

>>8090700
made me kek legit

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>>8091003
>>8091013
>both within the last two months
I am disappointed by this board's progression. /lit/ needs a hero again.

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Memories bring a smile to my heart.

>>8091003
I remember that thread. That "Of course" always gets me.

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Not so much funny as it is amusing.

>>8090660
so it goes

>>8091081
That was me.

>>8091113
is this funny? i like it

>>8090681
desu i saved it just for the last line

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This happened at one point. I don't remember when or why, but it definitely happened.

>>8091138
>Islamic
>Enlightenment

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>>8091136
I am glad to see that some things are still very much the same.

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>>8087981
Never forget

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>>8090691
I also zoz'd

>>8090728
Why didn't it happen? Shame.

>>8091028
We don't need tripfags.

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>>8091162
lmao, I love that site

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only newfags will remember this

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>>8091176
The advent of /pol/ invading /lit/, and subsequently tumblr doing the same. All that nonsense distracted everyone from non-standard literature and forced the board into "defend Ulysses and burn Ayn Rand"-mode for a while; hence welcoming in people that thought such content was the core of /lit/. Not trying to 'boogeyman' anything or anyone here, that's legitimately what happened.

>>8090695
the brave new world one is not funny, but otherwise A+

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One of my all-time favorites.

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>>8090660
>I should respect something that other people do purely for the fact that they respect it
FUCKING NORMIE GET OUT
REEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8091028
why is posting the first two pages of richard yates funny.

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>>8091257
g2btao

>>8091250
meme harder

>>8091138

Isn't that Dan Simmons? He was a pretty good writer until 9/11 ate the poor fuckers brain.

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>>8091342
it's this guy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_W._Johnstone

>>8091371

The nigga died in 2004. How did he predict America's downfall?

>>8090660
Except Vonnegut is overrated garbage regardless of his accessibility.

>>8090683
Except for the fact that she is a complete and total slut Dagny would make a good wife.

>>8091495
Classic lit
>The hipsters decide what's good and what isn't and if they say he's shit than he's shit, especially if he's well liked.

>>8091495
edge

>>8091186
I mean if I saw what you wrote in a vacuum I'd assume it's Joyce.

>>8091539
>doesn't know difference between infer and imply

I can't enjoy this

>>8091249
Whoever made that is confirmed for never actually having read the entire door-stopper. That book is terrible but she does actually cover in the second part (actually this was what the entire second part was about) how the industrialist genius Mary Sues are amazing at everything they do.

>>8091535
>>8091521
>Thinking one specific thing is shit, which it is, makes you an edgy hipster
Neo-/lit/ everyone.

>>8091551

It's easy to call something shit when you didn't even explain yourself, and therefore nobody can discuss whatever you found to be garbage in the book.

So, tell us why hipster.

>>8091028

I haven't seen you post in a long time. I think you got doxxed or something, right?

>>8091215
lolling. wtfff

>>8091111
Sir, you must be thirsty; have some Chek cola.

>>8091113
>I consider promiscuity immoral not because sex is evil but because sex is too good and important
who disagrees with this, Rand?

>>8088777
I think he deserved this for assuming Americans don't know what a university is (we have them too, guys)

>>8091123
Oh thank god I'm not the only one that realizes this place is full of the most delusional assholes on the planet.

>>8091755
could be my favorite thing to come from this site

>>8091762
The irony of your post is amazing

>>8091097
I hope the person who made this knew they were presenting a strawman.

>>8090717
this sucks

>>8091215
ugh. this is the worst kind of "literary humor." LOL HE SAID PENIS HEHEHE

fuck off please

>>8091025
>>8091097
pol/ memes detected

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>>8091810
pic related here, it's you

>Ssssilly boooyzzz, why dont you grow up??? UGH!

>>8088777

>>What [...] am I supposed to do? Leave it there? Play it off? Pretend it's not mine? Take it with me?

It reads like something from a Beckett novel.

>>8090700
only one that made me chuckle

>>8090680

While I realize the humor here, that really gave me more the reaction that George is having there. I couldn't handle being in that situation.

>>8091249
Stop, tripfag. You're not funny and there's nothing of value in your shitposts.

I hate these threads. I come in to ignore 90% of the posts, and add 1-2 images that are actually funny, to my collection.

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>>8091604
No, I pretended that the guy knew where I was (he didn't) so that I could fucking leave this board. I do still post here from time to time here though, I guess you just miss them. But I miss brownbear and D&E and zed more than anyone could miss anything ;_;

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>>8091901
>fails to contribute to a thread *and* attacks a contributor
this is why /lit/ died a long time ago, dear friend
you are but the ash, slowly blown away from an old flame

>>8092064
>implying tripfagging helps the board
You could contribute without being a attention whoring.

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>>8092134
A ha ha ha ha ha.
If only you had been here for more than six or seven months.
Perhaps you will understand one day, if you read the archives from years past.

>>8091127
that fourth panel is never not funny.

>>8091705
granted i'm like super stoned but i laughed for like 5 minutes at this.

>>8091740
i don't agree that promiscuity is immoral

>>8091204
Take off your trip/name and more people will listen.

>>8091551
>>8091566

Yeah, tell us why hipster...

>>8088777
Topkek

>>8092390
More 'newer players', yes. I have no interest in such an inconsequential demographic.

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>>8092024

I guess I've seen your posts, just really intermittently. I honestly thought you'd dropped your trip or gone elsewhere a long time ago. I think I saw someone on /b/ false flag as you in a big get thread, to try to claim it as a femanon. I guess to try and make trouble for you? Or maybe you actually wanted that get. It was years ago I don't post on /b/ anymore.

I miss those old tripfags too, even Quentin. I can't remember them all that well, I was pretty new to 4chan at the time and didn't really figure out each one's particular brand of shitposting before they dropped out. I remember years later SLAF posted here without his (her?) trip but with a familiar avatar pic and tried to get us to remember which trip he was. I remembered! I liked cappy a lot he was the most relatable to me and didn't talk about philosophy that much (something I'm not versed in) What was that thing with BB and call of duty? And then D&E made that amazing GRRM troll picture.

Not only was /lit/ younger and more innocent but also myself.

>>8091215
>>8091215
is this what /lit/ tripfags find funny?


why are tripfags so consistently shit?

It almost doesn't make sense, but I guess the people that are so desperate for attention they attach an identity to their posts lack the qualities that would give them the attention they desire in real life

>>8088067
Here come DuBois

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>>8092410
I totally forgot about Stagolee and onionring! Those were two pretty cool guys. No idea what you're talking about with BB and Call of Duty - the last I saw of him, he was in the tinychat wearing a suit and talking about leaving /lit/ for good. Quentin... Quentin was a complicated person. I've never been quite sure if he had diagnosable mental issues, or was just an extreme obsessive. Sometimes he was fun, sometimes he wasn't. Either way, he was better than Sunhawk. Caps was an alright guy, but I didn't quite understand his fixation on only reading post-1945 (or pre? or some other year? don't recall) literature; it always seemed odd to me. I don't think I've been on /b/ in like 5 years, so whoever it was, it wasn't me. Is there still a tinychat or any means of communication that isn't private for /lit/friends? I think I still have Hakas and Cathal on GoodReads, but nobody else.

>>8092433
Off of 4chan you must wait / until your age is 1 then 8.

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>>8092471

Sunhawk was weird. It's weird to read the same Junot Diaz book 40 times, that's just odd. Cappy refused to read books published after 1945, but eventually he relented a bit. I don't know about tinychat, I never use it. Seems like too many normal fags to be quite honest. Cap hasn't updated his goodreads in years.

>>8092490
RIP caps, then. Ho-hum. I saw the
>last read, currently reading, etc
thread and assumed it was him because he was always the one to post those. Oh well, eventually someone else has to put on the mask.

>>8091130
Lacan wrote an essay declaring Sade to be Kantian so maybe /lit/ stumbled onto something there.

>>8090680
the perfect image

>>8092404
Then be less shit...

>>8090603
>>8089432
Native speaker of German here: the proper pronunciation of Kant is actually your Cunt (with a short a), not the Kaaahnt you plebs have somehow decided on. If it was Kahnt, we would have spelled it Kahnt.

I'm not saying you should blurt out that one in your next philosophy lecture, but it IS true.

>>8091231
Freakin epic.

>>8088118
Why didn't he get in line though?
That's pretty rude.

>>8091003
Missed the Diogenes bit

>>8091566
Not him, but I'll make one critique of Vonnegut (whom I actually enjoy).

"So it goes." Totally funny right? Yeah, but Vonnegut also uses it sometimes as a crutch, to signal to his reader that the previous sentence was a punchline. Certainly, so-it-goes itself is sometimes the punchline, but in a few cases is seems like he read over what he wrote, realized the humor wasn't obvious but was too lazy to rewrite it, so he stuck a so-it-goes in there. It also seems a bit too "entry level" as far as dark humor goes, and the fact he uses it so much should make you notice that all his dark humor is of the same type. "Oh well some bad shit happened but oh well." You'll find that he's sorta making the same joke over and over, he's just dressing it up differently each time.

Does anyone have the "defenestrate the poststructuralists, epistemology war now! " ones?

>>8092448
This just made me think of a different version of the trolley problem:

What if there was a dozen other people, each with a lever that does the same thing as yours? Except the track can only be changed once and can't be switched back.

This has probably already been done.

>>8094122
Bystander's effect will work, probably

>>8094160
>>8094122
reminds me of Prisoner's dilemma too, can the other dozen people hear you?

>>8091196
kek

>>8094988
>shitpost
>get shitpost responses
>this is screencap-worthy
we both know if he posted an actual legitimate question he would have gotten legitimate answers

>>8091146
Cognitive dissonance is the purview of the religious.

>>8092064
Shitposting and tripfagging isn't contributing, shitposters.

I've bitched about these threads month earlier in this year. I'm going back to lurking.

>>8092471

This is obviously correct, but it doesn't address the fact that people go around saying things are objectively shit because they didn't like them. Sometimes the same ones that think like this.

>>8092568
>An entire set of literature is shit because of memes and nerds.

The person who wrote that probably sucks his OWN dick

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>>8095315
Perhaps, in another lifetime, you knew what you were talking about.

>>8092580
So either Athenians were superheroes who regularly did feats that not even the greatest modern athletes (who are trained far more extensively and efficiently than any other ones in history, always have nigh-perfect genetics and background for their sport, are on fucking cocktails of performance enhancers to push them beyond the normal limits of the human body and use gear made with technology that could as well been fucking magic to the Greeks) OOR the Athenians just liked making a lot of shit up about how manly they were

>>8090719
>Start reading
>Mention to a family member that I want to start with Stephen King
>Entire family dumps their collection on me

>>8089682
Ken M did nothing wrong

>>8095896
man I wish I could suck my own dick.

>>8088012
very funny

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Hugo Award winner right here

>>8088131
>>8088206
>read post
>don't find it funny and don't laugh
>read someone else say that they laughed at it
>suddenly find it funny and laugh

>>8089682
my fucking sides.

>>8090701
Kek'd

>>8090701
terribly funny

>>8092573
that's got to be extreme roleplay by some master australian

nobody is that weird

>>8091145
wasn't it when hermione was confirmed not to be white/may have been a nigress?

>>8098683
Google tells me that was an issue that occurred 6 months ago. That picture was taken in late 2011 or 2012, so no.

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It feels like a compliment to see my own posts screencapped in some of these images but it really means I need to spend less time on here.

>>8098774
what myth/tale is this referencing?

>>8098790
infinite jest

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>>8098790
Zeno's paradox via Godel, Escher, Bach.

>>8091730
what video is it from

>>8098774
I cant tell if that comic is a reference to GEB or Lewis Carroll (I guess a reference to GEB would be a reference to Lewis Carroll just removed by 1 anyway...)

>>8096097
laughed so much it hurt
i should go to bed i'm too tired

>>8091490
it was predicted before America was formed toobh

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>>8092448

>>8098995
Let those people get run over and make sure to have 36 kids.

>>8098995
depends on who is watching
if nobody is watching I'd save my dick
if anyone on the track was related to me I wouldn't

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>>8098995

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>>8099031
Let's ramp up the difficulty.

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niggers

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we are approaching the end

>>8099044
I already discussed something kind of similar to this in another thread and the conclusion is that nobody would ever pull the level if they were faced with a trolley problem/prisoner's dilemma hybrid.

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Endlösung

>>8088008
Incredible

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>>8099069
But it's not a prisoners dilemma

>>8091205
this hurt a little

>get invited for drinks at a friends apartment
>his flatmates are here too, we begin to talk
>trolley problem comes up
>we talk about it for TWO (2) hours straight
>I am so much of an autist that I defend my point past all rational thinking
>now the three of the are against me, saying I shouldn't be obligated by moral to pull the lever
>we've all drunk a lot
>we're mostly feeding on each other's "rage" to prove, kind of playing at being big boys with philosophical ideas
>talking dies down suddenly, everyone says "yeah" quietly and stares into the distance like they're calmly taking in some philosophical revelation
>everyone avoiding eye contact for a bit
>"pizza?" "yeah pizza"
>group spirit sets in, feels nice
>go down to the pizza place, bantering about stuff
>strange feeling because now we're walking and talking about real life stuff, I feel like I'm meeting other people than the ones I've been talking to for three hours now
>legaly eavesdropping (I'm part of the group) on stuff about their fourth flatmate, about their classes and other things
>drop my autism shield and throw some witty catchphrases and ancdotes when my cue is due
>end up talking sincerely to them over pizza and then the first Indiana Jones, sleep there and eat breakfast with them in good spirits


Overall a solid 7/10 night, thank you trolley man. At the time I didn't even know /lit/ and the trolley meme.

>>8098529
When did wolf blitzer become liberal demoagougery

>>8088777
:_D

>>8090701
topkek
I enjoyed solaris too

>>8091714
Who the fuck puts an olive in a cosmopolitan?

>>8091724
I lol'd too hard at this

>>8091755
This is poetic and I'm keeping it.

>>8090680
>tfw had an English teacher that couldn't spell either

I know how he feels

>>8090680
should've been
>mphw
at the end

>>8098537
>read your post
>don't find it funny and don't laugh
>read my OP
>read the anon's comment, saying how he read it and found it funny
>laugh a little bit

>>8098562
It's 3 am and I can't stop laughing

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>>8087981
The greatest of all time

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>>8099443
>some worthless booktuber can't handle the internet and quits
>/lit/ feels sorry for her for some reason

You guys who get upset about this are faggots. This shit is comedy gold.

>>8092521
>spits

>>8099471
it's the clash of cultures that is entertaining

the sheer absurdity of it all

I hope she's remained pure to this day

>>8088781
Classic Berrycone

requesting the image where the guy references his own unfinished novel to his friends

>>8099960
Pretty sure it's in the thread already.

>>8088995
actually it's funny because he never wrote that yet it's so believeably his>>8088995

>>8099960
>>8088781

>>8096184
Glad we both found the libfags.

>>8099443
Thanks for posting this. Haven't had a good laugh in a while. I would expect this kind of stuff from /tv/ or /b/ but this turned out really awesome.

>>8091142
Plato literally translates to "big guy"

>>8088781

kek

>>8099991

ty

>>8100121
Pour vu

>>8099057
I don't know about vat brain, but my first instinct would be to autistically recite the opening of The Ego and Its Own while crying and shitting myself tbqh.
>Was soll nicht alles Meine Sache sein!

>>8099203
This is actually /lit/ personified

>>8092410
>no Sunhawk

>>8090680
>slav
>study english at school
>the teacher lady thinks the formal word for a human's rear end is "asshole"
>pants tight around the asshole
>he fell on his asshole
>she has a big asshole
>you sit on your asshole
>i get sent to the principal for mentioning this is wrong
>they ask for my parents to show up
>a room full of teachers, officials and my parents
>bunch of adults and me
>i am the only person who knows english
>nobody sees the issue since they just decide to trust the english teacher over a child
>my parents punish me for speaking up against authority
>kids laugh at me for trying to be oh so smart and getting rekt

Almost as bad as that time where I got an F in math despite being the one single person scoring 100% on the test, but used a black ink pen instead of a blue ink one.

>>8087981
I read some joke a few years ago on here where a guy is about to hook up with a girl but realizes the Kantian moral imperative and leaves. Anyone have it?

>>8100423
ctrl + f KANT in this thread, you'll find it

>>8100391
>used a black ink pen instead of a blue ink one
absolute degenerate

>>8088008
Aye doe

>>8088781
This shit is straight up New Sincerity

>>8100431
>KANT
>>8100431
just did that. Didn't see it. Did see I'm supposed to pronounce it cunt.

>>8088008
Way to many commas desu

>>8091776
strawmen are subjective. You're no less a strawman than a scarecrow.

Is literature basically the beginning of humans who lack the intelligence to do real work in the real world?

>>8100443
>blue ink
w h y

>>8100153
Ethics is easily the most worthless Phil. branch.

>>8099030
How many meme levels are you on?

It's true, and certain European countries have their own names for the Millenial Generation group, and are often associated with the avoidance of work, introversion, poor social skills and so on.

NEET is the British (and internet) term for it, and although it's not exactly the same as hikiomori as the former is usually used in economic arguments whereas the latter usually references a cultural phenomena, I'd say contemporary youth culture (that is, the kind of youths which serve as the budgies in the mineshaft of culture) is pretty much the same in all developed countries (i.e. all countries of interest, as others are just developed countries 50 - 100 years ago). As an autistic, narcissistic NEET myself I fully comprehend the type of individual being discussed when I see the word Hikikomorri, NEET etc. In that sense I am something of a visionary / seer myself, five steps ahead of my contemporaries and dismissed by them as a valid human being on account of my wisdom and prescience.

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>>8099030
Shouldn't have pulled the goddamn lever

>>8090999

i have OC of really bad writing from two people
should i post it?

>>8091797
This is great.
Not funny but great.

>>8099031
Yeah, this>>8099030 is what happens, so yeah, they have a good point.

>>8091172
Anyone have the version where the cognitivist is laughed at by foucault for 2 eons?

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Kip

>>8099031
it cant go A because look at the tracks

>>8096140
>Love King as a adolescent
>Entire family dumps their collection
>Kooky aunt I never see has her yearly birthday present for me
>Keep on getting a King book from her every year
>Several times the same book too

>>8090719
There are four different engravings on those beer glasses, but I can't read them. What are they?

>Eye in The ???
>?? That ???
>???
>Can't Be ???

>>8104805
i can see the entire novel working as greentext desu

>>8104938
>Eye in the ***gest
>Is that all?
>Y***i L***tte
>Can't be helped

>>8104956
>>8104938
I'm guessing the first is "Eye on the target" or "Eye in the tempest", no clue about the third. You can get those glasses engraved with personalised messages so they could be anything.

>>8089682
Ken M has managed to always make me laugh.

>>8091714
That's kinda depressing

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My favorite

>>8091123
How is that a confirmation bias? OP did not say he was looking to confirm his past experience.

It is an inductive fallacy, if OP is overextrapolating (which is likely but I don't know.)

It's not an ad hominem because OP's argument is that /lit/ is "the most elitist people I know". Just because his conclusion is in the pejorative doesn't mean it's an appeal to that pejorative.

I refer to OP as male and in doing so commit the inductive fallacy.

>>8105857
Inductive fallacy.
Nobody said they had to be right.

>>8091215
¿Sauce?

>>8090713
S E L F I N S E R T
E
L
F

I
N
S
E
R
T

>>8091204
I miss Quentin. And Sunhawk.

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>>8106709
The joy and laughter that the former's life brought me will never end. I can't find the compilation one where there's the picture of him with long hair and the fact that he's 16 or something in my folder, does anybody else have it?

>>8090713
Kek, I feel that George kinda pushed for that ugly as fuck actor to play sandor. Nothing attractive about him, with our without scars.

Check out the pre tv show artwork, sandor was portrayed by fans waaaaaay handsome.

tfw no corn

>>8107821
because corn is a staple in "read expected got" not "humor"

>>8101781

>>8105102
This is actually well done.

>>8105857
It's confirmation bias because he saw what he expected to see.
Source: I posted >>2606960.