>be Boffer Bings
>born of honest parents in one of the humbler walks of life
>father manufactures dog oil
>mother disposes of unwelcome babies
>have assisted my father and mother in their jobs
>always have to watch out for cops opposed to my mother's business
>father's business of making dog oil less unpopular
>dog oil is actually a valuable medicine under the name Ol. can.
>mfw most plebs are so unwilling to make personal sacrifices for the afflicted that they keep their fat dogs from coming near me
>tfw I led to my parents' deaths
>it's evening
>carrying a babby's body from my mother's studio
>passing by my father's oilery factory
>see a cop
>quickly hide inside my father's oilery
>find that my father had retired for the night
>don't want to get out because cop might still be there
>see my father's vat of dogs
>throw the baby in the vat
>no one will notice
>next day my father is excited because he has a batch of the finest quality oil ever
>all the doctors had pronounced its quality
>feel guilty
>tell them the truth
>they both get pissed and prevent me from working with them
>later they decide I was right and combine their businesses
>mother moves her studio into my father's factory
>soon the public has a meeting to decide that my poor parents can't do this anymore without being met with hostility
>tfw no more unwelcome babies to make oil from
>at about midnight I peer through a window into the furnace room where my father now sleeps
>notice he's not in bed
>mfw he had made a noose
>he seems to have gone to mother's bedroom
>ohshit.jpg
>a fight breaks out and they try to kill each other
>mother ends up stabbing father
>in his last dying bit of energy, he swings them both into the boiling cauldron
>tfw I have to skip town
>go to Otumwee
>start writing this memoir
>>8084899
>>father manufactures dog oil
what the fuck is 'dog oil'
>>8084900
Oil of dog is the oil (fatty tissue) from dogs or canines, similar to fish oil.
Ol. can. can cure many maladies including motion sickness, tarcadyia, jenkem dependency, and Alzheimer's
original: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Oil_of_Dog
bampu pantsu
>>8084906
>Ol. can. can cure many maladies including motion sickness, tarcadyia, jenkem dependency, and Alzheimer's
i wouldn't be happy about it were i a dog
I've read most of Bierce's short stories, haven't read this one yet though, and it seems like he was ahead of his time. My only complaint with his stories is that he uses too many exclamation marks. Much better story teller than Poe imo.