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Thread replies: 10
Thread images: 2

File: tumblr_n19nfnWVhf1sg91gio1_250.gif (214KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]
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The wolf stood proudly on the crooked cliff that beared a harsh coldness. With red eyes of dominance dimly lit up by the chilling moon. The wolf's pearl coat painted with glistening snow. Then the wolf lifted his head up and let out a battlecry that declared he owns the land and everything in it.
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wolves can't feel pride they're fucking animals you mong
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>>7993486
lose the anime.
>>
It's shit, you gayass weeb.
>>
File: image.jpg (12KB, 245x200px) Image search: [Google]
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Bad in every way. Apply yourself. Read more books.
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>>7993486
>With red eyes of dominance dimly lit up by the chilling moon.
Some might say this is not a sentence. But it is. It is a sentence of punishment to all who have eyes to read.

Suduko thyself
>>
Don't rely so much on adjectives to describe a scene; it becomes too purple.
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>>7993549
this too many adjectives desu
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>>7993486
ITT: constructive criticism :^)

Now some of the sentences are a bit odd, especially at the end. The imagery is good but the sentence construction could improve a bit. If the story was good I'd read the whole thing.
Nice try/10
>>
>>7993497
Stop trying to ruin 4chan.
Thread posts: 10
Thread images: 2


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