What's the worst euphemism for penis you've read?

>>7844479
"meat" anything
meat stick, meat cleaver, just makes me want to throw up. any descriptions including the words "fat" or "pink".

>>7844487
"Fat" "Pink" "Mast"

package

Lingram

>>7844487
how about "tube steak"?

>>7844487
>meat cleaver
who used this?
are they not aware of how a cleaver is shaped?

The novel I'm currently reading uses "carrot", only so that it could call one poor lad's a "radish".

quimpal

>>7844479
Donal Trump

BULBOUS SALUTATION

>>7844527
have u ever heard the hippity hoppidy slang "cut" meaning to fuck? it cleaves the chicks pussywalls, faggot, it's description of what it does not what it looks like, which actually makes that slightly more interesting than most of them, but u being a pleb thought the best one was the worst one, man being stupid must be like living in bizarro world where up is down and down is up

She sandwiches your nozzle between her tits, massaging it with a slow rhythm. A trailer to bookmark the events ahead. For now she has taken you in her lovely mouth. Your palms are holding her neck and thumbs are at her ears regulating the speed of her head as she swallows and then sucks up your machinery.

>>7844479
the word "member". It seems so victorian and detached

One-Eyed Monster

>tfw odysseus killing the cyclops was a metaphor for circumcision

>>7845275
HAR!

>>7845288
Easily this. It's so Kingesque.
Don't forget turgid tallywacker though for a close second.

>>7844479
all of them. same with for pussy

It just can't be said without seeming off

prick

"Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim."

>>7844532
feeling the bern, anon?

>>7845350
>Implying pussy isn't a euphemism for vagina
W E W
E
W

>>7844479
one bit in blood meridian he described the sun as the head of a great red phallus or someshit and that made me kek.

>sham-lam-doobily

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In all seriousness, 'turgid puppet'

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>mfw someone went through and replaced every synonym for penis in TLoTiaT with "male clitoris"

purple headed womb ferret

>>7844479

Turnip

Frightful Hog

"Scepter of my love" (or was is passion?), in Lolita.

To be fair, the pages leading up that paragraph's end are masterfully done, it's forgivable. Nabokov did go out of his way to make something incredibly explicit without being overtly descriptive.

Unit

Tfw you realize that Moby Dick is a thinly veiled metaphor for a penis

> Great, massive, white "Whale"
> Tremendous spurts out of it's "blowhole"
> Collecting sperm in "barrels"

Tfw Ahab was a closeted homosexual, having his leg taken off was the physical manifestation of the psychological trauma he endured resulting from denying himself his sexuality in a society that condemns homosexuals. The obsessive drive towards finding and destroying Moby Dick is symbolic of his struggles to abolish his depraved homosexual thoughts and feelings and at the same time an indication that he is single-mindedly pursuing dick.

>>7846198

tfw you realize Ishmael's reaction towards sharing a bed with Queequeg is setting the stage for the prejudice Ahab would face if he were openly gay.

Tfw the blossoming Ishamel-Queequeg bromance contrasts with Ahabs repression of his homosexuality, and at the same time illustrates what his life could have been like had he chosen to embrace his sexuality. At the same time it also validates Ahab's feelings of societies disapproval since these relationships are only formed among "savages".

>>7846198
The fact that there are homosexual undertones, or at least homoerotic undertones, as well as male bonding, does not make Moby Dick about them. The main theme of the book is the vessel at sea as life metaphor, the whale is just the destructive forces of world and meaninglessness which cannot be conquered.

>>7846147
pleb

>>7846232
Proletariat

>>7846226
> My interpretation is right, yours is wrong, my mommy says I'm always right!

>>7846369
There are a handful of passages about homoeroticism. Most of the book deals with the senselessness of nature and the lonely struggle of life, the futility of obsession with conquering that outer destruction.

It isn't a matter of my interpretation vs yours, one reading of the book has huge amounts of material to back it up, the other has like 3 passages in a massive work.

>manhood

pls no

benis :-----DDDD

invisible worm

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>>7845843
>>7845846
>>7845847

DEVILISH

>>7845880
For what purpose?

>>7845288
>>Odysseus killed the cyclops

>>7848046
For life.

>>7848052
>he hasn't read the sequel

>>7844479
>the pillar of his manhood

>>7844479
>Tom Clancy's Ops Center

>>7844487
how about purple as a descriptor?

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Boi clitty

One eyed chinese.

>>7844479

>Vermillion engine.
From the classic of 18th century pornography, Fanny Hill.

warm gun