/lit/ humour

>he said, very Britishly

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>>7672312

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>>7672397
let's not turn this into a corn thread

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>>7672438

>>7672338


thank you for this giggle

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Can't be a humor thread without some of these

>>7672499
lmao is this oc

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>>7672497

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>>7672502
No, I found it on here about a month ago

>>7672532
cancer

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>>7672497

>>7672580
lel go back to your poetry critique thread

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>>7672586
if you're going to try and make fun of poets you might as well try to be clever about it

>>7672349
kek

>>7672586
simile is not poetry.

>>7672371

>the scroll was better

kek

>>7673430

All poetry is representation, pleb.

>>7673508
always a kek
holy fucking shit

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Fine, I'll bump a bit. Starting with the one that shouldn't be absent from any /lit/ humor thread ever.

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>yfw Varoufakis mentions this scene in a conference with Zizek and now it's stuck in my head forever, to be eternally recalled whenever someone mentions individualism

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>>7673912
Also, too bad the pic doesn't contain the part where one of them says "I'm not!" right after.

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>>7673918
>tfw beards are the halos of materialism and neckbeards its saints

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Gonna grab a coffee

>>7672312
Camus is smoking a Gauloises brunes I believe, not a roll-up.

are there any good lit podcasts? nothing with reddit tier hosts, just dudes discussing lit with 0 identity politics or faggotry

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>>7674026
Not sure about literature, but there are a few good philosophy ones. You should probably make a thread rather than ask here. Unless mentioning reddit and identity politics is part of lit humor and I didn't get it.

>>7674032

/lit/ humour threads are just nothing threads, related to /lit/ the board more than actual lit, there are no holds barred here.

which philosophy ones do you like?

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>>7674036
I've only listened to Partially Examined Life and they're decent albeit entry level in their analysis. Still, they have interesting guests and topics and voice some of the concerns that I'm guessing most people have when reading certain philosophers (and for me at least it feels good to know that I'm not the only one noticing certain obvious problems). The History of Philosophy Without Gaps or something like that is also often recommended here.

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Do you think Nietzsche used to beat up younger kids and take their lunch money? He certainly looked the type.

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I should really rename those tumbler ones.

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>>7674075
No idea why that was in my lit folder. It's from a book so it counts, I guess. Also, the sense of dread it induces beats many books that try to do the same through actual literature.

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> On Page 122, in making a negative point about 18th century philosopher Immanuel Kant, Levy cites the research of French philosopher Jean-Baptiste Botul.

> Trouble is, Botul is not real (a fact that even Kant can agree on).

> Rather, Botul is the well-known creation of Frederic Pages, a philosopher himself and journalist for the satirical weekly, the Canard Enchaine.

> Said to have lived from 1896 to 1947, Botul has spurred a school of thinking known among knowing Parisians as Botulism.

>>7674075
Holy dear God, this is going to stop me sleeping tonight.

>>7673922
>>7673927
>>7673907

Spot the reddit cancer

>>7674093
I am in paroxysms

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I have not seen half of these before but they're absolute shit. Stop posting.

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>>7674099
Oh come on, the idealists vs materialists one at least is interesting.

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>>7674111

>>7672530
>>7672501
>>7672497
I think these were only really funny in the first thread my guy. The surprise is gone. Ah well. Maybe I'll come around in a month or something.

>>7673897
every time

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>>7674120
Humor threads tend to be repeats anyway.

>>7673927
>postmodern warfare
>mc escher

>>7672383
I like how the main way this comic about respecting women made its strawman was having Schopenhauer speak like a negro

>>7674131
I don't think its really necessarily supposed to be some SJW crap. I am just grateful they used Mary Wollstonecraft than some transexual bear

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Forgot another essential one.

>>7674121
This is like the opposite of Sam Harris though. Sam Harris is the most materialist thinker to ever live. The guy takes a big shit on Free Will for christ sakes.

>>7674075
>>7674078
This was posted months ago, I remember this. Yes. I still think about it every couple of days. Always. God.

>>7674113
yeah, real interesting "hurr durr fashion changes" with time. Not to mention Nietzsche isn't a materialist.

>>7674144
Nietzsche isn't in that picture.

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Another classic.

>>7673918

>not mein gott

>>7674148
yeah but he sort of fucks up the convention

>>7672497
I was never huge on these but I really like this one.

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An oldie but a goody.

>>7674024
This, or at least one of the other unfiltered dark tobacco brand cigarettes at the time.

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>>7674075
After all the warnings I still read it. Curiosity kills the cat, or at least stops him from sleeping for a while

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>>7674075

>>7674075
This does not make me happy.

>>7674075

Medic here, you can't see if an hymen is intact or not. That's a myth. So part of it is bullshit.

>>7674399
if it's there, it's there

>>7674075
Honestly speaking, this just impresses me. I mean, if it doesn't speak to the powers of love, what does?

>>7674401

But it doesn't even has to tear, besides they come in all varying forms you literally can't tell.
Maybe in America docs still think they can but in Western-Europe that concept has long been abolished.

>>7674413
i meant that if it was the full type then it would be there
i didn't mean that one can tell whether a girl is a virgin in every case due to necessary hymen intactness

>>7674399
You can definitely see if it's intact or not. You just can't tell from its intactness the degree of virginity or non-.

>>7674075
Surely, this can't be real?

>>7674024
Ah, well caught, my friend.

>>7674047
Wallpaper'd.

>>7674530

A full hymen is rare and world have been diagnosed als a tegen considering the menstrual bloos build up after 50+ years world be tremendous.

>>7674549

You can't, American doctors Thinkpad they can.

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>>7672497

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>>7675243

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mein gott

>>7674043
To be prickly in the presence of small ones; this seemeth the wisdom of porcupines.

>>7675298
>pepe the scatological toad
every time

>>7674083
>that pic
fukcin kek

>>7674556
Man how I wish Harold Bloom would see all our memes just before he dies. His old mind would struggle to understand what that could mean, yet curiosity would be too strong and he would wonder who these naughty young literature aficionados are, maybe a new generation of fruitful writers hailing from this place which not even tv presenters know of. But too bad, old man, thy vital clock may run no more, you have to answer death's unyielding call just when you've regained hope in the field that has given spark to your otherwise bleak and sorrowful life.

>>7674083
Holy shit, is there any bigger hack than Levy? What an absolute piece of garbage

>>7672499
>>7672540
>>7673900
>>7674060
>>7674065
golden

>>7672541
This is now my favorite thing

>>7674399
dude if its intact it doesn't do the little clicky thing

like a snapple

pffffft virgin detected

>>7672532

reddit tier garbage

>>7674860
you can have a lattice hymen...
this is kind of retarded

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Not exactly /lit/, but I suppose language jokes count as well.

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Another classic I forgot about.

>>7672349
haha...awww

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>>7678228

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>>7678293
Here, have another one.

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>>7672541
I howled, you dog!

HAHAHAHA

I am a happier man for having read this

>>7678312
can someone explain why the DDDs showed up?

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>>7678342
Probably some shitty transcription or font conversion, I'm not sure what the proper terms are for such operations.

>>7672499
Jesus, I actually laughed out loud

>>7674138
>I don't think its really necessarily supposed to be some SJW crap.
It's very clearly supposed to be some SJW crap

>>7673922

stupid. Another generation, another male fashion, nothing more.

>>7678342
I thought >>7678347 at first too, but after checking my copy of GR I realized the accompanying picture is from the physical copy, not the .epub, which most likely means OP's .epub had faulty formatting causing the header (DDDDDDDD) to appear on the same line as the first sentence and therefore a part of the narrative.

>>7672535
this is underrated.

>>7678359
Are you incapable of humor and automatically revert to an empirical explanation every time a joke is based on the absurd? Because it sounds like a symptom of autism.

>>7678303
>>7678308
>>7678309
>>7678310

these are retarded

>>7678439
Really? I thought they were cute.

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>>7678342
epubs are shit

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>>7674062

>>7678444
Awful draws, stupid jokes.

>>7673897
what is this shit about Kants categorical imperative?
It states that you should think about your actions in a way that they instantly get implemented as a natural law that everyone follows.
I don't see the joke in this picture, the OP puts Kants words over his own (previous) actions and lives the life of a hypocrite because he has to get !randomly! reminded of Kant with a mnemonic to hold onto his beliefs. Sounds like a beta cuck.

>>7678453
That's like saying that HTML is shit because there are some badly designed websites.

>>7678471
> "Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end."— Immanuel Kant, Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals

Using others as means to an end is prohibited by the logical coherency necessary for an action to be held as universal law according to the categorical imperative's relation to rational free will.

How do you not know this? It's almost as if you didn't read Kant and think that the categorical imperative means nothing more than the universality of rules and rather than read him you spend your time calling others 'beta cucks'.

>>7678494
How is a girl wanting to have sex with you using her "as a mean" to you ends? I guess both parties profit out of this. I atleast can read Kant in his original language.

>>7678494
>>7678531
>they don't go with women just to pleasure them
Shaking my head.

>>7678541
By just pleasing them, you please yourself as cuck, although she is pleased as well so cucking is a kantian thing to do.

>>7678583
To be a cuck you have to derive pleasure from your wife getting fucked by another man. We can extend the bond to a girlfriend.
That's not what I was talking about.

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>>7678461

>>7678586
he's using cuck in a metaphorical sense.

you're enjoying the idea of giving pleasure to a woman. At the end it comes down to the pleasure of vanity on your part. "Oh man /I'm/ making /her/ feel like /this/??"

juvenile

i hope one day you mature to the point where you are able to get off to the act itself, rather than using the situation to stroke off your ego, plebfriend. Until then, enjoy being cucked out of properly enjoying sex by your own sense of inadequacy.

>>7678595
good one

>>7678596
What is an honest man?

>>7678604
Nah, mate, there are two different things here.
What he's saying is that, "you're enjoying the idea of giving pleasure to a woman", what I'm saying is "you give her what she needs".

Every form of love is juvenile, that's the point. I hope one day you mature to a point where you're able to realize that.

>>7678614
Someone that would tell you without agressivity that the correct way to write would be "What is a honest man ?"

>>7678614
Probably a pederast.
>>7678598
I'm sure Luther met Jesus and God who told him what Christianity really is about.

>>7678620
Thanks for the correction. English is not my first language.

>>7678627
>Probably a pederast.

Why?

>>7673927
what do you think postmodernism is my brother

>>7678617
tryhard response kiddo, get bodied

>>7678644
>kiddo
>tryhard
Way to disregard everything you said and will say.

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>>7678644
>tryhard response kiddo, get bodied

>>7678656
>>7678661

jimmies rustle

>>7678471
>>7678494
>>7678531
>>7678541
>>7678583
>>7678586
>>7678604
Guys guys guys.
Literally noone of you got the very simple imperative correct.

The version that you are looking for (he comes up with a few definitions) is this: "Don't treat people only as a means to an end".
What you thought it was, is this "Don't treat people as a means to an end".


It is very simple but very important. If morality required never to use sentient beings as the means to an end, you would never be able to interact with anyone. Like buying a newspaper. The point is to treat the other as an end in itself, besides as a means to an end.

Don't go to /lit/ expecting people to know philosophy
>tfw the categorical imperative is universal and you most likely have it imbedded in your intuitions whether or not you know it

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Where's the autism at, autismobros?

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>>7678857

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>>7678864

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>this hasn't been posted yet

>>7678874
Maybe there's a reason it haven't been posted.

>>7678595
bravo anon

>>7678874

As much as I enjoyed Ulysses, that's kind of spot on

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>>7678868
I wonder how many euphorics have been driven to suicide by the old Baron.

>>7678874
Though infinite jest does show off his talent and skill it doesnt devalue it is an artwork. I say artwork because it's too spasdic to be a novel. It borders on literature too, but it's a damn good work of art.

>>7674075

i dont get it

is the idea that the guy was fucking her urethra through their whole marriage? how is that creepy?

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>>7678962
Urethra fucking is the most patrician fetish. It goes really well together with the second most patrician fetish, urethral infections.

>>7673922
portraits vs photography...

>>7672450
hah

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>>7674144
>>7678359
>>7678988

Is that picture an autism magnet or something?

>>7678620
wrong
>>7678629
Don't listen to him, he's wrong

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The shit I find in my /lit/ folder sometimes...

>>7678967
Does anyone have the 'Wordsworth Whatevers' version of this pls

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>>7679015

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>>7679038

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>>7672461
>spoiler in a screencap

>>7678228
Is this supposed to be convincing?

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What did he mean by this?

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>>7679054
How new are you, exactly?

>>7672540
This one makes me giggle like a bitch.

>>7679063
benis in bagina :D

>>7679063
this is really visceral

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I forgot how much old stuff was in my /lit/ folder, I'm getting nostalgic.

>>7679134
>Wild Ones ft. Sia by Flo Rida

I chuckled, but I'm not sure I get it

Image limit, wow.

>>7674044
>>7674047
>>7674055
>>7674067
>>7674087
can you please fuck off to wherever you came from please, all of these are awful

>>7679134
>treating Heraclitus' philosophy as a merely negative stance on reality, as if he affirmed that nothing exits

TRIGGERED

>>7674093
Not sure if i get what he's saying

but why even is chocolate with bubbles a thing? does it add more flavour, or just make it use less chocolate per bar?

>>7679008
Teach me then?

>>7679252

Chocolate with bubbles massively increases the surface area: weight ratio of the chocolate. More taste for the same amount of calories, imho. Also the texture is nice.

Britfag here, love Aero bars...

>>26368825
>>7679267
You were correct with what you first wrote

>>7679297
I'm the anon who asked the question. I still don't quite understand.

more alternative covers, pls....

>>7679279
It also changes the melting temperature of the chocolate, improving the mouth feel.

Fuck, my life has lead to that statement. Need to update my suicide note.

>>7672349
>>7672371
>>7672438
>>7672497
>>7672501
>>7672530
>>7672583
>>7674113
>>7674160
>>7674548
>>7674556
>>7674888
>>7678274
>>7678290
>>7678320
>>7678596
>>7678959
>>7672540
Excellent.

>>7672532
End yourself.

>>7679302
Wrong about a vs an before honest

>>7679267
Lol its an honest, not a honest. Anon is wrong, as always. You just go by thesound, if it sounds like it starts with an a e I or u, you use an, otherwise its 'a'.

Eg University sounds like yooniversity, so you say a university.

>>7679472
A E I O U (mobile)

>>7678880
I LOVE YOU JESUS CHRIST

>>7679049
That's actually pretty cool.

>>7679145
flo rida
flo
flow

>>7679487
JEEESUS CHRIIIIHST IIIII LOOOOOVEE YOU YEEEEES IIII DOOOOOOOOO

>>7672397
>someone posted my OC
neat

>>7678978

I can only come watching urethral fucking videos.

http://www.xvideos.com/video6859588/urethra_deep_fuck_and_cum

Shit's exquisite.

This makes me laugh every time I read it.

>>7679687
Underrated.

>>7679193
Oh come on, the Schopenhauer one was decent.

>Image limit reached

new thread?

>>7679487
>>7679579
>jesus cries

>>7675779
:)

>>7680048
I'd cry too if Jeff professed his love for me.

>>7674288
Yeah cause it's never happened that two people look alike, right?
The upper pic is too small to be proper evidence too

>>7679846
Okay
>>7680098
>>7680098
>>7680098
>>7680098
>>7680098

>>7680072
>proper evidence
/pol/ would say
>I know what those words mean but that sentence doesn't make sense

Yahoo Serious Festival.jaypeg

>>7678216
KYKKELIKY

>>7672541

Thank you for this. So worth the read.

>>7678604

>you're enjoying the idea of giving pleasure to a woman. At the end it comes down to the pleasure of vanity on your part. "Oh man /I'm/ making /her/ feel like /this/??"

Is this your way of trying to tell us you can't find the clit?

>>7678868
Whoever would be locked by a comment as simple as that isn't even trying to come up with an answer

>>7679082
This screenjob is terribly done

>>7674085
>tumblr
Also, that is a person on the cover. Why did I think it was a monkey?

>>7680103
are you making fun of my choice of words, or are you making fun of /pol/'s reasoning?

>>7680419
/pol/'s reasoning.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq0XNILIYTw

>>7677608
>Holy shit, is there any bigger hack than Levy?
Yes, you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz-crDWmINk

>>7680453
I can't believe I actually laughed at that.
>Third wave feminism is breaking our girls free, aye brother?

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>>7672499
This one's good.

>>7672541
>>7678313
>>7680224
Why?

>>7672499
I don't get it

>>7678583
>cucking is a kantian thing to do
/lit/, everybody.

>>7678598
As a Methodist, I find this hilarious.

>>7681877
Makes sense to be honest.

>>7672532
Why is this wrong?

>>7680383
What's your response to it?

>>7678978
hvad fanden

>>7682196
"meaning is all about philosophy, so it can't be scientifically verified. But meaning is also not about facts, when i say 'has to be scientifically verifiable' i mean facts. You can't base your facts about physics on things that can't be verified"

Wow, i realize i sound like a douche there, but if i didn't it would sound weird

>>7679487
/mu/ user comes to /lit/, tired of wading through spouted memes to find remnants of a somewhat coherent board. Every thread he knows he is out of his depth. He waits, patiently, for a moment to interject with something relative to the conversation at hand (as he does at parties) but time passes and his expectations of interjection are lowered. He sees the one /lit/ joke anybody could understand, the lowest denominator, and he rejoices. Spouting all that he knows like a whale's eureka, to then - shuffle back into the shadows.

>>7678216
fuck a image limit http://imgur.com/shg8HX1

>>7682494
top kekkek

>>7673912
¨still the funniest film of all time

>>7674047
cancer

>>7674067
also cancer

>>7681039
>>/reddit/

>>7683959
>>7679049
There is a set of rules for yugioh, but it's goddamn impossible to find and it's fucking complicated. Konami puts out arbitrary rulings every other day to justify new cards, etc.

For example, the criteria for disallowing a certain move that would lead to an infinite loop, depends on multiple factors and the method by which the game state is repaired is dependent on some general rulings and many specific rulings about particularly offensive cards implicated in causing loops.

And infinite loops are some of the simpler aspects of the Yugioh rules. Though, honestly, you don't need to know 99.9% of the rules to play the game at most levels.

t. guy who's failed the Dueling Network admin test like 4 times

>>7678216
Kuckeliku!

>>7674121
>>7674118

I wonder if the veracious criticisms of his moral philosophy share the same root with the critiques of his moral reasonable stance on Islamism and conservative Islam.

Like, both are different sides to the same cuck freak coin with one face true by happenstance.

The fact of the matter is that most anti-Sam Harris types take their most visceral gripe with his most reasonable stances, then use his least reasonable as some sort of ancillary ad hominen as proof of his stupidity to contrast it with your own implicit lack of stupidity.

Sam has been suffering a brutal character assassination campaign for the last couple years, started and perpetuated by pseudo-leftist idpol cucks taking issue with his opining on Islam. That conservative Islam is not sufficiently better than extremist Islam (nor is extremist Islam even rare in the Muslim world in the first place). Do the anti-Harris posters on /lit/ belong to this camp?

>>7684529

>moral

more*

kek

>>7682265
>meaning is all about philosophy

I don't know what you mean by philosophy here.

>so it can't be scientifically verified

If something is about philosophy it can't be scientifically verified?

>But meaning is also not about facts

So there is no meaning in facts? What do you mean by meaning?

>You can't base your facts about physics on things that can't be verified

How does this link with your previous statements?

>>7680369
No it has to do with the toxic masculinity associated with the base and disgusting desire of needing sex to have a culmination, a proper and defined climax at ejaculation, and then needing same, and then expecting same out of a woman, similar conspicuous pleasure, etc, etc. It reduces the act to the rubbing of an ego, and it becomes all masturbatory and gross.

>>7684960
I'm saying that meaning is something we give things, there is no meaning to anything other than the cold hard facts
because of that, any opinion, even the "anything that can't be scientifically verified" is something that we've come up with as a way to put meaning into things
so you can't scientifically verify an opinion, meaning we've come up with
but you still shouldn't put too much faith in things that can never be verified,

but yea, i realized i worded it worse than i thought at first, and there i was thinking i did it properly

>>7678282
reddit cancer

>>7678310
>>7678309
>>7678308
>>7678304
>>7678303
don't post this reddit tier crap here again

>>7679215
Existence is this constant occilation between being and becoming, both are mutually exclusive, and yet both must exist synchronously at all times.

>>7678956
ew

>>7679138
wrong board faggot

>>7677742
I feel the man.
I have the same problem.

>>7672312
If I wanted to laugh, I'd ask you how many books you've read.

>>7678326

Just don't give them that task then. Dumb-ass teacher

>>7674075
>tfw I went to school in the same town as this women

not surprising desu