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Hey /lit/ I have a serious oneinitis and she knows that I lo

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Thread replies: 19
Thread images: 4

Hey /lit/ I have a serious oneinitis and she knows that I love her but she doesn't love me back but doesn't treat me very rudely either so I was thinking to share with her this piece of writing which details our first date but I was wondering if you guys thought it was up to standard or not and if you had any improvements to make?

http://pastebin.com/XGKjhz2n
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>Get Out
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>>7314235
You will get everything good and all you desire as long as you stay true to yourself
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>>7314235
>>>/his/

/lit/ is for the discussion of fictional works only. In a century you will be a historical entity. Your form will take shape in the statistical data of am epoch long past. Ergo this thread belongs where all threads that are not about fictional writing belong and that is on the ever-versatile /his/
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>>7314284
But /his/ is only for history over twenty-five years old sir and I am fifteen years old
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>>7314284
In seriousness will you comment on the prose I have posted a link to?
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>>7314321
I am serious. This is a war sib
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>>7314284
>/lit/ is for the discussion of fictional works only.

No it's not.
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>>7314619
>>>/his/
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>>7314284
This is the most autistic post I have read in quite some time
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>>7314284
Philosophy is /lit/.
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>>7314235

Just.

Don't.
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>>7314235
Even if this wasn't shit it'd still be creepy as fuck
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>>7316262
Why?
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Take a hint OP. She's already on another bull.
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>>7314284
jesus christ

if anything you should have said
>>oneitis
>>>>/r9k/

but no. you had to continue to >>>/his/ shitpost like the complete faggot you are.
>>
Will noone comment on my writing?
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>>7314235
That will only make it worse OP. Either move on to another girl or do the right thing and forget girls altogether and focus your time entirely on your passions. (If you do this now you will swim in pussy later on in life)
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>>7316990
That opening is great, but the dialogue is banal. That might be the point, given that it's supposed to be small-talk, but it's just a bit too stilted.
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 4


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