>tfw listening to an audiobook, reading a book with each eye,

>>10021035
>Not having 2 sets of earbuds, and thus being able to listen to two audio books at the same time.
>Not having the volume of the audiobook at normal levels, then playing another audiobook from the stereos so you can hear it slightly louder than the volume coming from the earbuds. Three audiobooks at the same time.
>Not hiring someone to write on your back with a brush so you can read more through your sense of touch.
>Not having a two people do sign language in your far peripheral vision so you can see them while reading the books thus getting another layer to your information gathering.

>>10021076
>He doesn't have an entourage of slaves to rub more braille books all over his naked body
>He doesn't wear an elaborate headset made of mirrors so his eyes can read 126 books at once in kaleidoscope vision.
>He hasn't learned to read the Cat alphabet from Red Dwarf so he can read two books at once with each nostril.
>He doesn't have books translated into Willy-Wonka taste sensitive wallpaper and applied to all the walls in his house daily.

>>10021086
>Not sleeping in a fakir with each individual needle replaced by a letter of Kanji and them making a piston like movement in a fraction of a second.
>Not learning the language the book has been written in, in order to understand it completely, then mixing all the languages into one .mp3 file which you can then listen to while sleeping with the speed set at 3x.
>Not learning to lucid dream while sleeping so you can do the same in your dreams what you're doing while you're sleeping.
>Not learning lucid dream while you're lucid dreaming to go one layer deeper into your dreams to do the same thing you're doing while sleeping.

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>>10021035
/lit/ as fuck, bro.

>>10021122
>Not downloading the entire written record of the human race from cave-paintings to /lit/ shitposts, wearing a VR headset and flashing it before your eyes in 0.1 picosecond frames. Then lucid dreaming at night, and dreaming within the lucid dream and so on until time in your dreams is so distorted compared to real life that you will wake up having felt like you've lived a million lifetimes during your 20 minute powernap (because you've mastered polyphasic sleep). Then using your dream time to intensively peruse the works you've engrained into your subconscious from beginning to end, thus waking up carrying the wisdom of an entire species with you.
>Not mastering Astral projection, so you can create an infinity of astral copies of yourself to do this process simultaneously giving you an infinite number of perspectives on these innumerable works
>Not going a layer deeper to align your chakras and attune yourself to the tonal architecture of nature. Giving your the emphatic resonance of animal calls. Allowing you to read not just human knowledge, but to interpret the songs and howls of animals, the rustles and cracks of the landscape and the normally inaudible notes of space.
>Not achieving such a heightened level of awareness and enlightenment from this that upon achieving omniscience the illusion of the world melts away. Revealing yourself to be Azathoth, thus annihilating the universe by awakening from your slumber.

>>10021177
>Not chipping all the people on Earth with neural scanning chips that feed to your custom-made headgear that receives the data and having scanned your head restructures the data so perfectly that you don't use any brain power when digesting the data awake and asleep.
>Not mastering lucid sleepwalking so you can workout while sleeping so your brain gets blood flowing to it at a good pace 24/7, thus increasing your brain capabilities by tenfold.
>Not uploading your consciousness into millions of AI that you send off to the cosmos to gather more data and have them stream the data back to you continuously.
>Not mastering the art of bringing your superego and id into your conscious mind and then thoroughly analyzing them then sending the data to the chipped people who in turn learn the art and then send data back to you.
>Not having after all this, constructed a hivemind in Earth that expands to the whole galaxy and then focusing all that computational power to solve the problem of heat death that the universe is facing.
>Not needing to break any illusion when you're the one capable of constructing your own and with such power and knowledge, you transcend the Elder Gods.

>>10021241

>Not getting all this and more by using the password "joeroganpodcast" on onnit.com

>>10021254
That was hilarious. My jaw hurts from laughing.

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>>10021035
>tfw chewing and digesting my books