Let me know what you think
>>10019366
Use varying connectors other than "and" and describe stuff more, your lightly skimming over details and it comes of as rushed or you haven't proof read it.
>>10019430
Same anon, I'd also recommend changing up your openings to, for example, five sentences in chapter three start with either "she said" or another variation, also use exclamation points for characters who are speaking, unless you did this quickly ?