I don't exist.

File: images (1).jpg (9KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 225x225px

So can you tell me a little about yourself?

Well, I'm 26, five foot 9, 160 pounds... I like classical music... But I think the most important thing about me, the most relevant, is that I don't exist.

You don't exist?

No, I don't.

Could you elaborate?

Well I have a birth certificate, a drivers license, a bank account... I'm enrolled to vote... but I don't actually exist. I'm not a person, not an entity. I'm not real.

If you're not a person, why would you need a drivers license?

Well I'm in a key demographic. It looks good for me, and others like me, to appear to be living a normal, happy, successful life. It evens things up a little I guess.

There are others like you?

Oh yes. Lots.

And why does it look good? That you live a normal life, as you say.

Well crime, poverty, stocks... there are all sorts of problems people have these days, you know? It would be good if these things weren't such a big deal. It makes a lot of sense to just create people who don't have these problems, people who have it made. If you have four people and one is obese that's 25%. But if you create five additional people who are happy and healthy, the figure drops to 10%. It's a much more reasonable amount, don't you think?

That is an improvement?

Definitely. I definitely think this trend will continue. I think in the future there will be a large proportion of the population who don't exist. I think in ten years time you'll meet people, or there will be people who you've known, or people you've worked with, who never existed at all. That will be an improvement in my mind.

You think that would be better?

Yes. Yes, I think I do.