Write what is on your mind, /lit/

Sadness and loneliness

>Can't get my novel published because literary agents are 90% female that don't appreciate anything other than narratives about a young black lesbian's sexual awakening in Brooklyn
>Can't find a job other than peon-tier grocery store work or something abominable like "Social Media Market Analyst"

>>10005875
I feel you. Contemporary lit and the publishing industry is total garbage. I'm glad it is being annihilated by the tech industry.

I hope Zuck or Bezos or someone else finally drops the axe and puts all these pretenders out of work ASAP.

>>10005875
>>10005896

What kind of subject matter are you folks interested in for your novels?

>>10005875
i know that resentment is tempting, and i'm not saying there aren't conspiracies at play in the world, but getting dredged into the SJW wars isn't helping your novel get published any faster. occasionally venting on here is fine, i guess, but the only way you're actually going to get published (in a meaningful way) is to work hard. hatred is only a distraction to that.

>>10005902
I don't want to sound dooshy by saying this but generally what interests me is the "future of humanity."

Mainly I think it is an important and understudied domain where what used to be science fiction is no science fact, and the boundaries of physical reality are blurring with virtual interdictions, mix-ins, and overlappings.

>>10005913
You're basically saying keep your head down, don't ask questions, don't think, don't write about what's under your nose.

The problem is that good writing is always a kind of heresy.

fucking kill me

>>10005902
I explore loss and decline - the latter being where I cleave from these posh, urban professionals living their comfortable lives in cosmopolitan New York City. I live in one of those de-industrialized stretches of America so all we have are reminders of how things once were, that a golden age came and went, and that younger people missed the boat.

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>>10005946
I think you might underestimate the demand for that kind of writing. I mean, rustbelt doldrums is practically a sub-genre of American lit anyway.(see pic related)

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Other than suicide, what future prospects are there for uneducated 26 year old white male?

People understand me in non useful ways all the time.
I am Like a confused Oxford comma that constantly feels out-of-place.

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>>10005991
i forgot thé pictah

>>10005698
Every weekday I surround myself with insufferable, ignorant individuals who value their place in a multinational corporation over their place in human society, and thus would disrespect and snicker about their coworkers behind their back just to get an increase of 200 USD in their salary.

The tripe they say about the person they greeted with such zeal a few weeks ago... but the real tragedy is that you have to play the hypocrite to fit in with them or you have an entire department against you.

I don't even like being around people that much, and yet i'm forced to be around them.Although, I can't act like this situation suddenly befell on me since, like them, I'm here because I screwed up at some point in my life. But thank God for youth and perseverance, else I'd kill myself.

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Canadian here, what kind of literature is popular in my country? I'd be interested to know what kind of subject matter is read aside from the usual YA and fantasy crap.

>>10005980
Nothing, your life ends after academia, and if you've never had that yourself, you can safely say your life is already over.

>>10005980

I'm in the exact same boat as you. Been a manchild all of my life due to shitty parenting and bad choices on my part after 18. Exploring high-brow boards like /lit/ has made me disgusted at how I've been living.

Now I simply don't know what to do anymore. Don't know where to go. Where to start. I don't think I'm an idiot, I did well in school when I participated, more than so than most people in my classes. What do I want out of my life? To do something meaningful? Pick a field, and advance it in some way? Am I even capable of that? Or do I sell out and enjoy the simpler pleasures while sacrificing creativity for consistent monetary gain?

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>>10005980
>Other than suicide, what future prospects are there for uneducated 26 year old white male?

Fascism. Seriously. I was a left leaning liberal 4 years ago, but the choices have narrowed down to fascism and the cultural marxist yoke of the obese dildo wielding neon haired Queer(tm) transgenderblob. I'd take fascism any day of the week.

>>10006061
I feel that before turning to fascism he could at least read a book.

Clearly it's his lack of education holding him back, not the evil queer neon haired goblins conspiring everywhere against him.

>>10005875
I wouldn't like to read the type of thing you mentioned, but how did that Houellebecq guy get published?

>>10006066
I've read close to 1600 books.

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>>10005698

Literature starts to annoy me. I can't find anything that I could possibly relate myself into anymore. The books that had such an impact are still the things I enjoy from time to time but it seems this evaporated as well. I do not feel like I am able to express myself with a word, let alone one which could be even slightly manageable to understand by people that aren't me. I think I've lost the spark for finding new books, exploring new ideas and shit like that.

What to do?

>>10006045
Good goy.

>>10006043
Canadians don't read Canadian novels unless that's specifically your thing or the writer was popularised in the US first.

If reading Canadian writers is your thing, than you're probably open to any kind of experience as far as subject matter goes - albeit matter that has been government funded, and then scrutinised by centre left leaning publishers that are good at producing books to win government funded literary prizes.

But the main thing now is to never write about Canada, and if you do, make sure that your narrative will draw people towards becoming more liberal in their views. Greater openness and transparency, a greater vision of Canada.

The most popular underground writing passed around in anarchist book stores is about Geese and their apparent but hilarious obliviousness in all matters Canadian. They don't like Tims because they don't know what Tims is. They don't know. They just do geese shit all day, and it is fucking majestic and funny, like honk-honk, quack-quack-quack-quack! And beautiful scenery, though cities are weird settings for such dumb creatures.

>>10006061
Sounds like you choose fascism as a part of identity politics. How self aware you must be - unless of course this is not true.

>>10006082
>I can't find anything that I could possibly relate myself into anymore. I can't find a single person I can relate to that isn't bullshitting but books are my only refuge.

If I got to your state I think I'd kill myself due to the loneliness.

>>10006076
Get a certificate to operate a piece of medical technology then. You can make close to six figures for like two years of schooling.

Stop blaming ess jay dubba yous for your problems.

I've lost the zest

I've lost

The zest

>>10006125
What have I blamed? I posted >>10005980 only this. I'm dumb as a nigger too.

>>10005939
i'm saying don't get so distracted by your anger that you forget to work. working is going to let you accomplish your dreams. bitching won't do anything but make you feel good for a short time.

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>>10006066
The Third Reich was the ultimate multimedia entertainment event. The realisation of the 20th century avant garde, the culmination of 1500 years of German Culture. Gesamtkunstwerk af. I've got nothing to look forward to but ritualised collective self immolation. Think of it as a big ol' middle finger to the aforementioned evil queer neon haired goblins. We shall not go quietly into the night. ABBA+ Hitler=KINO.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxZwNVcdGR4

I need coffee, not tea. But coffee is far, and tea is near. Coffee makes me pee, tea here. Here I need coffee, naughty. But coffee is diuretic, and tea replenishes, vivifies. Yet coffee produces production that over-produces produce, as in hearty, leafy cabbage that can be stored for a long time without going bad, and is still not enough for a complete meal. Tea on the other hand would mean I have a coffee in the other, which I don't, and I'd like to if I didn't have to go buy a cup from the store up the road. Maybe, I will anyhow.

>>10006172
Pfft. Just cause you can see pictures and vids of Nazis doesn't make them shit as far as events go in comparison to any ancient empire. Do you even read books? Do you know anything about history? Have you heard anything about other cultures? Why are fascists always so unaware of their unimaginative brains and how fucking boring their type of conservatism is?

Who else here an Oligarchist?

your face really disgusts me you fucking ugly bitch

It's a whole new level of introspection when you realize your brother suffers from the exact same character flaws and insecurities as you.

>>10005698
My life is so petty and I don't know what would possibly make it meaningful- my mind is petty but my heart knows that there's something else- I feel it every time I'm ever anxious or feel threatened over something ridiculous
I just wish my feelings weren't ridiculous

>>10005698
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

>>10006125
>Stop blaming ess jay dubba yous for your problems.

Blaming someone else for your problems is the best way to get ahead in our society. The ess jay dubba yous provide ample proof for this. I mean, everyone can play the game. I don't think I should abstain out of a residual sense of postcolonial guilt, which I don't happen to feel at all. I'm a Nietzschean, a renegade taking a stand against the slave morality regime of our tranny overlords. Instead of denying, I affirm. joyfully.

>>10006172
Ahh yes, the third reich was so glamorous. Too bad it ended in a pile of rubble and with everybody dead.

Generally worthwhile cultural movements result in not everybody dying.

What the devil should I do.

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I wa$ busy thinking about boys

>>10006272

>Instead of denying, I affirm. joyfully.

Posting this on /lit/ is a performative contradiction.

>>10005875
So? I was a lawyer and ended up working part-time at a store to have time to write my first novel.

Has anyone here ever experienced what they would call "romance"? Can you tell me about it? My protagonist is a hopeless romantic who makes some stunningly bad decisions over women he has never even met. Have you ever loved a woman you barely (or never) spoke to? What was it like?

I can't decide on anything. I second guess things to the point of annihilating any feelings or sensibility of what was originally there, thus resulting in a life that feels cursed.
I am possibly out of things to say, and am struggling to understand WHY people have things to say. I couldn't write anything last night and I felt disgusted that literature exists.
I took the IQ test from the IQ thread and scored 110 which made me very angry, and the effect undoubtedly will last a long time, resulting in me caring even less, possibly quitting my job, or whatever, just general sadness and confusion even though I don't think this particular intelligence test was accurate, it will haunt me and I'll battle with the thought of it, unable to decide what I truly think (as previously stated.)
I feel beat down by the world. Everywhere I go I feel spat on and hated, unwanted, by mere looks, because people look at me and see that I'm ugly. I watch it register in their eyes. Then when greeted by my mundane and boring, stand-offish personality, they really recoil. These experiences are most painful when accompanied by a friend.
Possibly the worst of it is I know I'm a pretty big part of my own problem. I can't blame it on myself completely, but there are components that could be changed and are not out of reach, but it's as though some force stops me from bettering my situation, if not at least changing it.
They go on, too many problems to list, these aren't even the potato meats.

>>10005698
i have an interesting idea for a novel, but im afraid that my real life lack of social interaction will reek or that people will say i ripped off houellebecq

All of this is for nothing. The pain, the misery. It's all pointless.

>>10006526
Say all the list

I'm rootless. Wan't to visit U.S. next year.

>>10006498
Have you released it?

>>10005698
Feeling low and thinking about death again. I turned 27 last month, I'm starting to get fine lines around my eyes and on my forehead, and the reality of mortality and decay is finally dawning on me. For the first time in my life, suicide seems like a viable option at some point in the future, but I'm scared of dying and leaving behind nothing of value. I want to write at least one truly great short story, as a bare minimum.

>>10006082
Time to get into music. Make sure to learn some theory.

My family is trash, man. My father's side more redeemable than my mother's, but both still unmitigated trash.

I'm stressed about a driver's test I have to take, I see myself as not worthy of becoming an adult/man if I can't operate a car. I've connected the issue of transport to problems within other avenues of my life, like dating, where rationally I don't think it matters too much where I live, and I have my motorcycle licence. My inability to get my licence has been mostly due to uncommitted parents, who weren't willing to take me out for the Learners 120 hours that I need to get my probationary licence (Australia). Of course the problems with my parents go far beyond transport as well, stemming back to emotional trauma, it is becoming harder and harder to untangle myself from these mental traps. Last few months I think I was developing severe anxiety but I've dealt with that by cutting my casual drug use completely. I finished the collection of short stories I was writing - self-published it, and it felt great and then I expected when I got feedback it would feel great *again* if my friends and family liked it. They did but I didn't get that expected wave, only from a single person who actually talked to me critically about the stories, the rest of it were simple compliments and observations which I numbly replied "Thanks for the interest."

I saw an ex at a party of our mutual friend a few nights ago. I was talking outside to said mutual, and she approached and told me it was great, I thanked her and then she went on some tirade about how she couldn't even imagine finishing a book "...and just putting that last full stop." I told her it was no big deal and she laughed and went inside. Rationally that conversation is pretty nothing, but god I hate her fucking guts and I just feel pathetic for it. She is a dumb little lamb. I feel like an autistic Hamlet often, and maybe next time I see her I'll screech, "Get thee to a nunnery." that would sure show her...

Things aren't all bad, cutting drugs was a great move and so was ditching my smartphone for a nokia brick so I am not always digitally pining for my last girlfriend who broke up with me because she moved to South America, and finally I am moving to Spain to teach English next year for 6 months and the way things are going here (getting worse before they get better) I hope I won't be back in Vic for a long time.

I really regret pursuing science at university in a vain attempt to contribute to cutting edge research. I realise most of the learning done at uni is pretty much just the same ol listening passively and regurgitating stuff back when need be. I've been so depressed and trying to subdue the creative side in me so I don't get carried away with my daydreams and inevitably forget my real life responsibilities. It's been hard, coming to terms with reality, that passion doesn't translate into results, that academia is no longer about truth seeking, that potentially my entire life will be in a constant state of yearning because I can't seem to work up the desire change something. All I really care about in life is learning and discovery and though childhood freedom leading to timeless absorption in books has given me much pleasure, I can't say the same for my education. I feel so suffocated.

How do I write interesting stuff if I haven't experienced anything worth writing?

I feel like I'll always be a hack because I cannot read fast and also get the full beauty of the text. I'm trying to read Ulysses and It's just such slow going because I don't want to miss anything.

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>>10006273
gen z is like the WWI generation, the freikorps mercenaries of Weimar germany. We want war because we know nothing else. They had the trenches, we had Gamergate. Our brains have been laid waste to by memes like theirs were by WWI. This is a short film on the first person experience of fascism.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sp6ePKe6iI

>>10007736
Go out and experience interesting stuff, go risk your life, take LSD, climb a mountain, shoot police

>>10006526
Rightly to be great
Is not to stir without great argument,
But greatly to find quarrel in a straw
When honor’s at the stake. How stand I then,
That have a father killed, a mother stained,
Excitements of my reason and my blood,
And let all sleep—while, to my shame, I see
The imminent death of twenty thousand men,
That for a fantasy and trick of fame
Go to their graves like beds, fight for a plot
Whereon the numbers cannot try the cause,
Which is not tomb enough and continent
To hide the slain? Oh, from this time forth,
My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!

I want to fucking die. Please end this hell. This is a nightmare.

I miss you

>>10005698
I'm sick and tired of being tempted by the spirits of the flesh. I wish I could get away from them but there isn't much I can do right now but log off.

I am here to bait and you are here to click. It has been nice to address you, the nice people of this town in your own town center to help you better understand what me and my industry are about.
I was permitted a good amount of time to voice my own personal opinion on this topic, but I will stick to the facts of my operation. Please direct any questions to our PR director.
My job desires visionary results. This town is now called Plebiae, and this is the symbol that will be attached to all residents clothing items and all advertisements, bill boards, any logos will be replaced by this symbol. I can't talk much on the iconography, but aren't those brush strokes so authentic, so Asian.
I have a degree in Content Engineering, my girlfriend is a small business owner, my life continues. I am a vegan.
And the machine goes back and back and the tape rolls back and his voice plays again.

>>10005902
Overcoming nihilism and self-hatred through physical labor is a major theme that I focus on.

I need to be on medication or something. My mind doesn't work the way it should and it isn't fun anymore.

>I am 34 years old, have a loving wife, and three adoring children. I own a house, two vehicles, and have a high paying job that keeps me mentally stimulated and challenges me.

>I feel I should be if not actually happy, then at least contented with my current life situation, but all I really feel lately is a general malaise, and disappointment with myself, the things I own, and my family.

My girlfriend broke up with me 8days ago. i messed up by making it seem as though i had lost interest. she was the first person i have ever loved, and i told her that i either wanted to get back together, or never speak again. today she told me she never wanted to speak agian and it roughed me up. i was expecting to look past all of the bullshit and get back together.

"He is the weak one, the small one, the frightened one."
I look at the man in front of me, I remember when it once called out, urging me, guiding me. No more, he is screaming in my face. Making me listen to the imperative of action, to take advantage of the now.
"He is the one that is lacking in discipline, whilst I ride strong, steadfast and true. He lacks that capacity to speak the truth towards power. To answer with clarity towards those who would deny him. To crush the kingdom, and voice what he means, taking refuge in the courage of his speech. You hide behind your posture, you hide behind addictions. I am strength beyond strength, I am the beast of worship, a leviathan."
I close my eyes, "you're just a monster, you're just a criminal you should be in chains. You should be shipped off away from me. Just walk away, just leave me be.
"I am king shit of fuck mountain and my strength cannot be denied, only ignored, you are the one in chains."
Kings are no more. You talk of strength you talk of worship, of royalty. You're no king, just an image of the past, a bitter memory.
"A better memory and a vision of the future. The old you will perish, your vices will perish, dedicate to the cause, the cause of now."
You let it all fall apart, the world, your family crumbles around you and you do nothing, you take refuge in your distractions. Decades of distraction.
Now, tomorrow, yesterday, never. All the same.

>>10007739
That's fine. It doesn't matter what speed you read at.

>>10006498
This is really cool. How stressful/difficult was the process? Wasted my time in graduate school in a field I'm not anymore passionate about and now I just want to write. But I'm terrified to take the jump like you did, from being a young professional to working at a store. Not that I'm too proud for it, but that quitting and taking a seemingly random gap can hurt a professional career if things don't pan out. I also just started my first "real" job so I will need to work for a year or so to at least get some cash.

I'm such a fucking worrywart. How do I get over this?

>>10008562
Relax, dude. Women are cold creatures. Go read Hamlet.

Beating yourself up over a woman is just stupid. She left you for her selfish reasons. Get used to it. Also get used to the fact you're going to remember her for the rest of your life. Every single day.

We all have to go thru this. Such is man.

>>10008688
>Hamlet

>A depressed man drives a woman that is in love with him to insanity and eventual death, murders his stepfather and is responsible for the deaths of two innocent servants

Good choice of role model. Are Patrick Bateman or Kurtz on your short list of literary characters to emulate as well?

Should I writr just to write stuff?

I just want a creative outlet...i always get nervous that it will never be good though

>>10008715
Why not? If it helps you, then do it.

>>10008719
True trur
.i wanted to e an english major but i know that doesnt pay well.

I guess i jist want to write poetry and books and put it on my youtube chanmel


Idk that channels really help me cope since its just me doing creative stuff.

>>10008728
Sounds like a slam dunk in that case. I wouldn't agonize over the quality of it too much.

>>10008731
Im just worried about it being lolcow worthy tbqh

Like extremely bad poetry or something..


Thank you friend.

I thought I'd have this figured out by now

>>10008736
God himself could have a YouTube page that would get flamed in the comments sections by idiots.

You'll be fine.

Anyone that puts some part of themselves that leaves them vulnerable up on the internet will get shit on for no real reason by others. Its just ugly human nature I suppose.

Good luck with whatever outlet you pursue.

>>10008706
t. never been in love

>>10008766
No, just never allowed a failed relationship to poison the well, so to speak.

>>10008476
is your body in good physical shape?

I'm trying to wean myself off the habit of looking at erotic stuff on the internet. It's a hard habit to break.

>>10008757
True true


Just my biggest worry for some reason...my biggest worry is becoming a popular oage lmao...

I guess i pit my comedy and other stuff on thrre but still..

our cat has been regurgitating all her food since thursday. we thought it was her new food but when we switched it she still vomited everything up. she's stopped drinking water :( we live in a small country so there were no vets open on saturday, but we're calling around now to see if anyone can take her. she can keep down wet food i add extra water too, but last night she found some dry food and immediately vomited up everything she had been able to keep down. shes such a sweet gentle little kitty

>>10006546
The sureness of this needs to be probed. You are believing something which is not necessarily something which you probably can articulate why, and any amount of deconstructing of the information that you've settled on being true will show you how unsure of this position you'd be if you used reason. Try it for a few years. Deconstruct everything that makes you believe this is pointless. If you are satisfied with the answers, you've probably rewrote philosophy. The point being that your pointless world says more about you being inarticulate. You probably just identify with this idea because you want to be free of the necessity of choices. You're probably like most of the people here who have only feelings and no reasons beyond some second hand account of the universe. Your "this" is maybe for something, but you'll probably never know. Only gods can understand their worlds, and each does so by becoming conscious of their mortality.

The most miserable part of learning a language for me is when I'm still using the textbook and I can't stop myself from thinking "how am I going to remember all this?"

I know I'm retaining most of it OK, but I'm sure many little things are slipping through the cracks. It especially bothers me that I might forget annoying turns of phrase or minor quirks that won't come up for a long time, so I won't practice them, and by the time they do come up I'll be completely baffled.

At least when you're reading real texts, you can simply do your best and assume you're making progress. With the textbook, every new thing it tells me, I can feel the pressure to memorize it.

>>10008771
Then, you Sir, are a toad in that very well. Get out and live i say.

>>10006061
>has fallen for the alt right meme of calling everything wrong in your life marxism and thinks that fascism works
back to /pol/ now my friend

>>10008784
I'm so sorry. I hope she gets well.

>>10006113

>>10008860

>go on /pol/
>mfw these retards think some twitter user getting banned is a victory for the white race and start celebrating

it's just a bunch of manchildren LARPing

leftists have already won

I don't think we can win with this teamcomp. Ez mid is pretty shit nowdays, and rivens are usually trash in my elo. My only hope is that the enemy teams are a bunch of idiots.

I'm reading Lolita and the characterization of Humbert is really on point, specially in regards with his relation with Annabel.
I too had a "girlfriend" around their age. At a certain time, she said she would show me something special the next day. But in this same day, something happened to her father and she had to move out to his city and I never saw her again. Now I don't really care about women older than she was when we used to meet up, unless they look childish and resemble her physically.

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>tfw you're out not as abstraction but as direct experience

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>>10010006
I had an experience with a 9 year old when I was the same age. I remember when she took off her shirt I was like ''wtf she has no boobs'' and I went soft because of that, and didn't want to go on, and I felt gay and was genuinely worried for years that I was homo. Then as a teen I didn't get girls my age because I was depressed and never went out, and was socially retarded of course, and the only female who payed attention to me was my 9yo cousin who had a crush for me, and I started spending more and more time with her because I was lonely, but thankfully I told all that to my therapist and worked it out before I became a Humbert.

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>>10006082

Literature is just a byproduct of Mind. It contains nothing and is worth nothing.

>>10010155
who's he fuchin

>>10005940
same.

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>>10005698
I finally started getting over my ex recently.
It's been a year since it ended.

About two weeks ago, this girl I work with and I started hanging out and seeing each other.
Since then she spends at least two nights a week at my place, we've taken 2 acid trips together, and while she says she doesn't want anything too serious because she has too much in her life going on (and past relationships) she still messages me as soon as she wakes up, and we're texting back and forth all day.

And she asks me to hang out & stuff just as often as I ask her.

Hell, 2 nights ago, it was already 12:30, we both had work at noon, she lives an hour away, and she asked if it would be cool if she drove to my house and spent the night.

So I don't know how to interpret it as a whole.
I'm fairly certain both between her actions (and her literally saying as much) that she really likes me.

And I know I'm falling for her.
I'm not in love, not this fast.
But I know if this keeps up, I WILL fall in love with her.

I've experienced this too many times to deny it.

I'm just hoping for a good outcome, and that I don't end up getting my heart broken again basically.

My girlfriend, who I live with, is probably cheating on me, I can't move without breaking the lease (which would hurt my already shit credit score), and I work a degrading job where I interact almost exclusively with entitled women.

I've been trying to write "sincerely," so I've been writing with the assumption that postmodern irony and cynicism are things to be avoided. It's difficult to avoid cynicism when your life as a replaceable drone is mostly an exercise in setbacks and debt and truthlessness.

So I guess I'm just trying to figure out if postmodernism has anything left to say.

>>10010503
>I've been writing with the assumption that postmodern irony and cynicism are things to be avoided.

Oh fugg im trying the same with other artforms and its very difficult after 10 years on ibs

>>10010495
Good luck.

>>10006515
Imagine living your life walking through fog and mist and finally piercing through it to find blazing sunlight.

>>10009508
who got banned?

A young Greek man and an Old Englishman were waiting for their taxi.

>>10006515
When I entered college there was this girl that lived in the same building I did and from the first time I saw her I developed a huge crush on her. Of course I didn't talk to her because I'm a coward, instead I figured out the times when she went into and out of the building so that I would walk by her at those times as if by coincidence. I spent my first month of college like that, and I built her up in my head to be this girl who was really similar to me and had a cynical view of the world and would save me or something like that. Somehow we got to be acquaintances and even friends. Some people later told me that she had a crush on me too. I never really made the effort to be anything more than just friends with her, even though we talked sometimes it was always very distant on my part, I purposefully kept her away because I was afraid. After that first semester I dropped out of uni because I didn't have money and I'm a real idiot when under pressure. I had some actual serious problems too but mostly it was just me being a fool. I cut contact with literally everyone. I didn't have a phone to begin with so it wasn't too hard. I moved to the east coast and spent some months being homeless. At the start of what would have been my second year of uni I drunkenly messaged the girl on facebook, I don't remember many of the details but at some point I said "save me from myself" and she replied "I can save you and I will" and then we never messaged each other again. I spent a year or two holed up in my room without any social interaction, living off inheritance money and that fucked me up. It's been 4 years since I met her, and I've rejected a lot of other girls who have shown interest in me because I'm still waiting for her. There's something wrong with my head desu.

Last week I started talking to japanese exchange student and it's pretty obvious that she's attracted to me. I think I'm finally ready to move on. Good luck with your writing.

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Does anyone else get stupidly happy when they see DFW on other boards?

IM GETTING OVER U CUNT

>>10011793
>tfw you start seeing your ex the way she sees you now, and you realize she's seen you that way for months

Jesus christ how fucking embarrassing

I was still in "hey.. hey Jessica I just want you to know.. you'll always be super important to me.. Hey...." and she would reply with like "I feel the same way about you I'm super glad I knew you" and I was totally oblivious that she was like
>HANG ON MY EX BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING ME *TAKES SWARTHY PENIS IN HOLES* *GRUNTS MASCULINELY* UGHHH HES SO OBSESSED WITH ME LMAO

Now I see how stupid I was being

Make way for the lord of revels! Make way for the prince of fools, the master of japes and comic tricks! Fall silent when he opens his mouth, for his is the power to calm and to rouse, the authority to command all the sins under heaven, and the ability, though rarely used, to invoke true Beauty. His task is difficult, and yet he delights in it, and that delight burns within each word and lights the flame within each listener.

>>10005698
I post short stories that are part of much bigger stories to a blog because I can't help but delete all my progress if I try to write something for publishing. I'm a pathetic writer and word press likes just make me feel slightly less like shit.

>12 Hours 04 Minutes 25 Seconds until iPhone X announced

can't wait to preorder, stay salty neets

>>10012439
>not waiting for Pixel 2 XL.
>implying thousand bucks is much money at all.

>>10008773
Nah, dad bod. I'm sure that's a contributing factor.

>>10005902
Mental Illness, Overcoming said illness, interactions between the mentally ill and "sane" people, life after said illness.

May sound stupid, but It's the major areas I study.

t. Clin Psych grad student

>>10012456
>implying I don't have a Pixel for development

Android is fucking atrocious, and having the touch id on the back of the Pixel is fucking stupid since you can't unlock it without picking up the phone, seriously shitty design

Why did you block me? I really don't get it

did any of you dudes watch the bannon interview on 60 minutes? yo that shit was INTENSE, bannon is the motherfucking man holy shit, i never watch tv news, but this is shit is fire, check it out, he puts bush on fucking blast, dude came off authentic as fuck

>>10012526
>https://www.cbsnews.com/news/60-minutes-breitbart-steve-bannon-declares-war-on-the-gop/

that's what happens when u let a catholic in the whitehouse, dude will go nuts and start actually fighting for the working class

>>10012482
>implying you have Pixel 2 XL.

>>10012545
>implying the Pixel 2 will suck any less than the Pixel 1

it's just some shitty HTC crap with a 'G' stuck on the back, spare me

>>10012553
XL isn't even made by HTC, XL is LG.
I have U11, it's pretty good :v)

>>10005698
Kind of depressed about changing majors from Computer Science to Economics. I'm just too much of a brainlet to handle the advanced math and programming.

>>10012557
Kinda wish I was even in trades or uni :v)

>>10012574
Well, let me tell you anon, I dropped out of English. Then I went NEET for a year. I noticed everyone saying CS was the future, so I enrolled part-time in math and programming classes. I feel as if I used my best learning years on an unemployable subject. Nonetheless, I wouldn't have it otherwise, although it sucks that I'll be getting my degree around 29 or 30.

>>10012605
>although it sucks that I'll be getting my degree around 29 or 30.
at least you will be getting it :v)
>tfw2stupid4schools

>>10012605
unless you want to do theoretical cs research at the grad level there's no point in doing a cs undergrad just to be a programmer, don't waste your education on some vocational crap, also programming doesn't pay that much compared to things like finance, law, or medicine, so if you just want to get money you're also wasting your time, only do cs if you love theoretical computer science, nothing wrong with that if you do, that's rad as fuck, but if you just want to write code and hack on shit, do a liberal arts degree and then teach yourself and/or blast through a bootcamp in a couple months

I've spent most of my life believing I am or am going to be great. Most of it has been just a sense of mine with nothing to back it up. But in the last few years things have taken a few turns that make me genuinely feel I can, indeed, be great. Or I already am, and am just waiting on the recognition.

>>10012626
if you didn't go to a top 5 school it's not gonna happen

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>>10012629
>if you didn't go to a top 5 school it's not gonna happen
*wrong*

>>10012622
Nice doubles and nice advice. I actually did like working on projects for my java course, so who knows; I don't plan on letting that skill rust. It is indeed money I'm mostly interested in. The only reason why I did not do law was because of the debt.

Be that as it may, I would much rather write a novel that sells well and do that instead, but obviously that is one of the hardest things to do out there.

Si tus palabras no van a tener ningún significado a futuro, entonces, ¿para qué mierda las dices? Deberías guardar más respeto hacia las personas, no son juguetitos que se cambian cuando te aburres de ellos. Y deberías dejar de mentir acerca de tus sentimientos y aclararlo desde un principio sabiendo las cosas que personas puedan sentir por ti. No sabes cuánto me arrepiento de estar contigo y de al final haberme tragado toda tu balbucearía, y hazme un favor, deja de mandar indirectas a través de las patéticas redes sociales, es infantil.

>>10012744
bueno

>>10005902
Genderswapped girls trapped in the uncoded by God portion of a digital afterlife created by all of earth's sattelites connecting after the electric frequency of the earth's atmosphere is lowered to match the human brain, effectively "sucking" the electrical signals out of every human on the planet

The protagonist girl-turned-boy is on a quest to kill every person who thought she was a boy on 4chan/internet so that she can transform back into a girl, and in order to get the firepower to do this she makes a pact with a cannibal dragon for the price of sodomizing her each night

There's like 10 endings I've come up with, and none of them are happy. How fucked am I for ever finding a market for the garbage I write?

I've finally managed to train myself to write at least a few thousand words every single day no matter what. Pretty amazing how quickly it all starts to add up. Like, if you write 4,000 words a day for a month then you've got a novel. Or at least a pile of literary goop about the same size as a novel. You have to actually be good at writing for that skill to mean anything.

>>10012979
>you have to actually be good
Not really. You just need to have something first, then edit the living fuck out of it.

>>10011011
>and then we never messaged each other again.
that's depressing.

>>10012799
I'd read it, so that's something.

>>10005698
miss kitty

>>10012799
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

>>10011800
fuck her anyway
she'll be glad to cheat on him with you
t. been there done that

>>10011011
you need to fuck a lot more desu

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>How long have I been sleeping
>How long have I been drifting alone through the night
>How long have I been dreaming I could make it right
>If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might
>To be the one you need

>Awake again I can't pretend and I know I'm alone
>And close to the end of the feeling we've known

>How long have I been sleeping
>How long have I been drifting alone through the night
>How long have I been running for that morning flight
>Through the whispered promises and the changing light
>Of the bed where we both lie
>Late for the sky

This is actually the triumphant realization that personhood is wrong and interpersonal composition cannot lead anyone to the Good, for Good itself is not composed.

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>https://www.apple.com/apple-events/september-2017/
>9 Minutes 54 Seconds to go until iPhone X event

holy shit who preordering

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>>10014137
Honestly, this thread is the last place I expected to see /g/ shills

>>10014140
>03 Minutes 07 Seconds before iPhone X event

stay mad, nerd

Spent all day writing but it feels like no progress, just assembling and editing previous stuff.
So much goddamn dialogue.
Small incremental changes so it doesn't seem like you've done anything.
Worse than fucking minecraft.

How much dialogue cut and paste directly from IRC conversations is too much in a novel, do you think? It's going to have a very high page-to-wordcount ratio at this rate.

>>10014156
I'm immeasurably jealous, anon.

>>10014163
Are you actually retaining the formatting of IRC conversations? Please don't do that.
I miss having IRC friends in small tight-knit obscure communities you'd never find if you were looking for them. Goddamnit.

>>10014172
>tfw ur chatting in an obscure tightknit irc community right now in another tab

enjoy getting banned from discord every time u commit a thoughtcrime, plebs

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>>10014172
It's the same basic format but with as much of the crap removed as possible to retain the layout with minimal repetition, so no timestamps, names only once for each speaker per block and so on. Pic related.

>>10014193
i don't know why millenials think anyone wants to read this shit

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I think I broke myself. After high school, I got depressed and spent like five years with little to no social interaction. Eventually, I got a shitty job and I'm still working it four years later. It's been nine years since I graduated.

When I'm around people I just don't know how to small talk anymore. I don't have anything going on so it's a question of how well I can probe them so that they keep talking about themselves.. but they always end up asking me about myself and then I think they take the fact that I have nothing to say for aloofness.

I have a high IQ, but I don't seem to be able to make anything of it right now. I can't follow trains of thought very well, and words don't come easily. When I spend time with others, I'm amazed by the natural way in which they seem to think and how words just spill from their mouths. I used to be like that when I was a teenager, but after the whole solitary confinement deal I can barely make a sound.

I don't know what to do with myself. Going back to school is the most appealing option, but I have very little in savings and no financial support from my parents. My high school GPA was not very high, but I tested the highest in my class. I think this leaves me with very few prospects as far as financial aid, which would mean taking on a massive debt and the fear that I might enter into another depression and fuck around instead of doing my schoolwork/the work necessary to get a job after I graduate is choking me.

I don't have a single person in the world that I can really talk to about any of this, because all of my friends kind of moved on with their lives and I haven't seen them since high school. I live in a small town and meeting anyone who has anything at all in common with me is next to impossible. Most of the time I just feel like a complete outsider. Books and 4chan are pretty much the extent of my interaction with the outside world.

I'm ready to change, but I don't know what to do. How do you jump-start a stalling brain?

thanks for reading my sob story

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>>10014199
>millenials
>IRC

>>10014215
ok fair enough

that's a problem with irc, people on irc think it's this really big thing that people care about, but at it's peak efnet maxed out at 40k users and at least half of those are bots, 20k users isn't even enough to be rated an "influencer" on instagram, no one cares about irc

>>10014182
>using your browser for IRC
>calling someone a pleb

>>10014225
>no one cares about irc
and thank God for that

>>10014225
The format is mutually intelligible to users of other similar networks such as Slack and Discord which had 2.7 million active users and 25 million active users in mid and late 2016 respectively.

It's a medium in which to have a conversation and has little bearing on the quality of the text itself.

>>10014208
You're literally me. I graduated high school and just drifted for a good five years before growing up.
I used to be a cool cat in school, but eventually turned back into my natural state as an extreme introvert cuz muh depression.
When I talked with people I felt disconnected and unable to 'jump in'. As if I had to articulate every sentence in my mind beforehand. I got my shit sorted with meds and life became good again.
Then I remembered 'how' I talked to people beforehand. I just let the words flow and threw the ball into other people's court by asking simple questions.
What's funny is people won't expect it or respond naturally to you because you've flipped a 180 in personality. You have to keep at it then they will warm up to you.
As for shit jobs, I'm still drifting with oddjobs and I'm poor. But I learned you HAVE to invest in goals or hobbies to stay happy/sane. You can't just kill time and drift by or you will quite assuredly off yourself.
I invested heavily into writing, going out once a week for D&D night, and collecting/breeding exotic mantids.
Now I'm living a simple, humble life, and I'm below middle-class. But it's awesome and fun now that I just committed to things that make me happy.
I know exactly how you're feeling anon. Life can be amazing if you make it amazing.

Tengri biz menen

>>10014233
i bet you use mIRC, pussy

>>10014246
so you think basing a novel around a medium is anything but a gimmick? imagine 50 years ago someone making a novel that consists of a bunch of phone calls, kys

>>10014307
Who said anything about basing a novel around it? Imagine 50 years ago someone making a novel in which people use phones.

>fat ass eddy cue talking about the new 4k apple tv

no one but baby boomers watch tv, no one cares, get the god damn phone

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>>10014304
>shitting on mIRC
part yourself, pleb.

>>10014314
yeah, remember when they beats totally captured the spirit of their time by integrating cutting edge technology into their novels by transcribing phone conversations word for word, timeless stuff!

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I'm a few hours away from finishing this novel. (Middle grade historical fiction). But man, everytime I think I'm almost done I find something else to tweak. I thought I would be done two months ago. Then last month. Then last week. I know I'm going to need another draft and it's hard.

>>10014307
>a novel that consists of a bunch of phone calls
Sounds like a decent concept, desu

>>10014346
Anon, I don't know how to tell you this but The Beats were more than fifty years ago and IRC is not cutting edge technology.

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>>10014338
>pc gamer thinks he's the man for using a shitty closed source shareware windows client

kys my pleb

>>10014358
>The Beats were more than fifty years ago

no shit faggot which means they were closer to the introduction of telephony

>>10014380
Okay, and? So what? Why are you so angry about this that you're failing to engage in any actual sort of debate?

>>10014393
you're the one "not engaging in debate" by nitpicking the release date of beat novels rather than addressing the fact that you're idea is a stupid gimmick

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>>10014374
>weaboo thinks he's the man for using a shitty muh open source CLI client for no reason other than neckbeard points
>shitting on mIRC

>>10014402
>pc gamer thought he was leet
>gets btfo by some unix nerd
>doubles down on being a plen

well that's 4chan for ya

>>10005698
>Be me, 30+ washed up lawyer
>Failed writer
>considering suicide
>parents ask if I'm OK
>Yep
>You sure
>Yep
>Dad asks what I'm reading
>Tell him 'The Sorrows of Young Werther'
>Silence
>Dad calls NYPD from another phone without telling me
>Keeps me on the line for a few minutes
>Five minutes later, loud banging on apartment door
>"NYPD! Open up!"
>Do you have a warrant? I ask, lawyerly.
>They say yes
>"don't try to bullshit me now, I'm a lawyer. Slide it under the door."
>Hear them mumbling outside.
>"You're a lawyer? Kill yourself."

>apple demos arkit app that displays the constellations over the night sky

ok that was p neat

>>10014400
You're calling it a gimmick because according to you it's cutting edge technology, and The Beats didn't write about cutting edge technology.
It's perfectly normal to write about any sort of technology, old or new, real or fictional, and that has been done in all sorts of literature. What The Beats did isn't relevant in any way, I'm not trying to imitate them.
So that doesn't explain why you're getting so assblasted about it.
I mean, fuck, IRC is older than you are.

>>10014422
why do you keep calling me a pc gamer?

>>10014435
i'm just letting you know cut and pasting irc dialogue into a novel is dumb, any novel can drop into

he: hello
she: hi
he: im saying some shit
she: fuck this is tedious

in a novel, and i'm sure it's been done and sucked already

>>10014445
As well reasoned and thought out as everything else you've said so far. Congratulations.

oh shit here it comes big iPhone X reveal rn!

https://www.apple.com/apple-events/september-2017/

>>10014462
OMG amazing! I ordered six :)

>>10005698
I'm surprised at how much money there is in ghostwriting, looking forward to finishing these two projects I've got on the go. It's also an effective way to write a bit outside of your comfort zone, to try new genres that might not necessarily interest you. Kind of wish I'd have tried it sooner.

>>10014462

Still a better subject than Nick Land.

>>10014431
Howling with laughter.

>>10005875
Go call John C. Wright and ask him who the fuck publishes his stuff, the guy must have a line straight to the Vatican press.

>>10009508
The Left literally cannot win, because their win conditions don't exist. There is no such thing as equality, there will never be post-scarcity, they will never get what they want.

History has shown us repeatedly that the inevitable end of this script involves barbarians invading, society collapsing, and a lot of faggots being thrown off of rooftops. The Left never wins. There is no paradise on this Earth. All you can do is pray that there will be a paradise in the next, and then laugh as people get run over with trucks.

>>10006215
Cringe.

>>10014422
>>10014402
>>10014374
>>10014338
Is it too late to deem both of you pedantic nerds?

There's too many 18 year olds on 4chan.

>>10014431
When greentext becomes art

>>10014546
Fuck that thought makes me feel so old; I'm 21.

Alright that was a joke, but still, it's weird to think my teen years were almost a full decade ago. Going to be interesting to turn 30, but y'know what, I think I'm gonna like it. I will have been writing for a few years, going to have probably over 2 dozen books self-published along with several ghostwritten works, I dare say by the time I'm 30 I'll be making a good $2k a month from my writing, maybe even more. Shit... I just realized that it's likely been around a decade since my first time going on 4chan. Am I an oldfag yet anon? I don't wanna be...

God is the manifestation of our natural ethics

Our natural ethics are a manifestation of God

I've been thinking about the bias for space groups, especially P 21 21 21, in protein crystal growth. Do the proteins we are able to crystalize all have certain qualities in common that make them nucleate in this way? Or does the space group itself have some important quality? The correlation of usage and rotational/translational freedom isn't absolute, and it's necessarily biased because we can only look at what has already been done.

>tfw the most erotic dream you had consisted of you sitting on a chair naked from the waist down and your chemistry teacher looking at you like she's going to jerk you off like crazy but it ended before anything happened

>>10014714
guess you didn't have chemistry huh

is there a bigger spook than "social progress?"

>>10005698
gonna watch a movie tonight give us recs lads

>>10014792
That's like asking "what are some books".
How could I possibly give you a recommendation not knowing what you like?

I want to die. The pain of existence has its thumb on the scale of life's worth in favor of the side of Anti-natalists. Every morning I wake up and feel grief. My heart feels like it's wrapped in iron chains. Modern medicine has failed to work, and as a result the various combinations of antidepressants I've taken have had the net result of chemical dependence on them to survive and dashed hopes at my prospects of being cured or even successfully treated.

I tried everything. God, mysticism, rationality, absurdism. With each of these I threw myself in fully, as to allow nyself to doubt was to welcome trouble. I can theorize on biblical love and creation and understand the irrationality of societal norms. But I am still empty. I spoil friends with gifts and buy their lunches for them, because I know that any purchase I make will be followed by regret. I offer help, even in exchange for my own misfortune, because my achievements are gotten through the hollow luck of a fake.

I wish to climb into a tomb and sleep for ages.

>>10014800
Because it's only like two hours of my life and I don't really care if you recommend something I don't enjoy.

Vs. the same thing with a book, which demands significantly more time, and thus looking for random recommendations is more of a risk.

>>10014792
what kind of films do you enjoy?
are foreign films off limits for you

>>10014816
Ingmar Bergman's Seventh Seal
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

>>10014821
pretty good recs, most of stuff from Bergman or Bresson would be right up /lit/'s alley

>>10014818
I can pretty much kick back with most things except musicals. Preferably I'd like something that's reasonably easy to find online, so more obscure foreign films aren't ideal but I do like a lot of french films.

>>10014821
Thanks for the recs my man. I'm in between Bergman (never seen any of his films) and There Will Be Blood (which I watched like years ago)

>>10014816
I'm about to watch Dark City myself, never seen it before apart from the first few minutes, which I really liked, so you can give that a try.
Barton Fink, Withnail&I are pretty /lit/ and great movies overall.
Some stuff I like:
Rebels of the Neon God, Shampoo, Fallen Angels, California Split, Naked, True Romance.
Saw Light Sleeper recently, pretty good.

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>>10014850
>fallen angels
>naked

you're alright anon

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>>10014853
Y-you too

>>10014562
Its good to be an oldfag
New fags are cancer

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The more I try to form an inner self for you, the more I fail at it. The more I try to write something worthless, the more I see worth in my words. I think I'm done lads. I may leave the confessionary. It's been wonderful knowing you.

Never forget moot made 4chan to train the faithless.

>>10006082
Take a break from literature and do something else for a while. Anythig, don't limit yourself to the arts.

>>10014349
I want slather on her beef curtains.

What does it mean if I have a sex dream with an ugly girl? She was a typical freckle-ridden redhead, and I find those types of girls repulsive. She wasn't anybody I know IRL either.

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>>10005698
Each day I wake up inside a shining polygon. I reach out all around me, I want to probe. I want to run my hand along each side, to become the virtuoso and master of my surroundings.

Somedays my arms grow weary and I can reach no more. Fear makes me shrink and shrivel and I will stay stuck in a corner.

Unity with the polygon. Unity with all I see; it exists, only in my dreams.

>>10015176
Was she a farmer's daughter? If so that's hot.

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I want to write a novel, but I have never written one. I've been writing in a journal for 9 months now and I still feel like I'm not getting any better at writing. I feel like if i write the novel now, it will turn out as garbage and I'll spoil the original idea with terrible prose.

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>>10005698
Thinking about "The Gods of the Copybook Heading"

It is clearly a shot at disillusioned progressives who abandon reality for trendy concepts, however I cannot quite make out the end.

It is stated that the old ways will return with vengeance but does this imply armed conflicts or extremely jolting at the least?

Does "though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy" refer to societies decline in search of easy pleasure destroy the value of material wealth or is it a projection that socialism would collapse the economy?

Also Gods of the Market did meet the Gods of the Copybook Heading in the last 30's to mid 40's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTwHCsTq3IU

>>10015335
>the old ways will return
The Old Ways/Reality I should say so I suppose it could be any disaster or collapse of worth that results in the return with a vengeance maybe

>>10005934
You just reminded me to put focus on the futuritic theme in my novel, thanks anon. Got a little too hung up on the art theme.

>>10005902
About institutional racism mainly and about all the blood white people have in their hands.

>muh ex

Every thread. I'm sick of you faggots. Go and find some real problems.

>>10015455
The tumor in my ass that the Dr said was Benign and could be ignored has doubled in size since I saw him 4 weeks ago and hurts

>>10015414
Hi madam, I'm an editor, can you send us your book pls we're very interested

>>10014523
>muh grand narratives
>Conveniently ignoring that the standards of living rise year after year due to great advances in science and technology

>>10014529
wow you utterly destroyed that guy, good job my fellow pede

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>>10005698
Right now?

I'm thinking about how too many people use complex sentence structures and words for the wrong reasons. That is, using complex words for the sake of being complex.

Instead, big words should be used as a tool of simplifying your speech, making it succinct and easy to understand.

In my opinion, the use of 'complex' words to create clarity is a much better mark of writing ability.

They threw out laurels of peace and opened their doors in in beaming hospitality. They turned none away, they accepted all who came.

Overrun. Dead by morning.

>>10007749
>They had the trenches, we had Gamergate.

Imagine sitting down and typing this out and posting it for the world to see

>>10007749
>They had the trenches, we had Gamergate.

My dude, The men of today are dwarfs in comparison to the league of men that founded the western civilization. Gamers, especially, constitute some of the most beta and unproductive members of society.

>>10015572
Imagine spending time on 4chan and not knowing the place well enough to know he was being tongue-in-cheek.

Tourist, or what?

Aaaaaaaaa I can't learn french all alone

I wasted my youth not wasting my youth. I focused on busywork for courses I never cared about. I don't have dreams anymore. I don't have any interests. I never had time to develop any real friendships or skills, because I do pointless work. I just work.
The sickness in it is that I have no real reason to complain. I have a loving family, a good education, and I'm not disliked. I have a lot of things, but I am not a lot of things. My life isn't empty; I am. And I don't know how to fix this. I've tried, but no matter ehat, my mind drifts to work. Everything I've tried to create is soulless. It's too late to change. You can't grow innards that have been scooped out.
They've wrung me dry.
I just want a redo.

>>10016331
You can redo, and you don't need magic, science, or an act of god to do it. You just need to first start my reconnecting with your childhood, because regardless of what you try to do, that foundation was there before you became a workaholic. Dig out some old photos, toys, buy some old books, anything you have remaining. Spend some time reminiscing and thinking about those times long ago. Try to remember the thoughts you had, the silly little dreams you had. Do those things, and begin to look into the things you were passionate about when you were a child. Did you have heroes? Worship them like you did. Dreams? Think about them, let yourself think and feel like a kid again.

Once you've built up a powerful amount of nostalgia and heartache, you are ready. Your mind will want for "additions" into your childhood passions, to make new memories that give you the same feelings you had back then. That's your time to relight that fire in your soul. Those are the embers, you just need to feed them.

Look around you, look at things around you to find a new way to focus that fire, and you will find that it never truly leaves you. Just like anger, hunger, love, pain, or anything, that passion you had as a child is built on the foundational universal elements of what makes a human a living creature, and once you realize that, you can allow yourself to slip away back into that person you once were.

Not because you are regaining anything, but because that person was always there, its intrinsic to your being. Its just dormant, but inevitably everyone returns to it as they get older. What goes up must come down.

Is justice just a societal form of revenge?

>>10005698
>>10005698
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh I'm in community college. I'm over solipsist dread and I believe suicide is illogical and never justifiable. I'm somewhat comfortable with my uncertainty about life and I don't think it's feeding into depression and anxiety anymore. However it'll be a while till those two things are gone, because there's a lot left in me. I distrust anti-depressants and supposed anxiety relievers, it's all bullshit and I believe my problem existential/psychological, and therefore ought to be solved psychologically. The word Spirituality tries to capture a concept and fails, but that concept is very important to me as well.

I don't like the city I live in, I want to move out and work in an outdoor setting. Wilderness therapy is probably what will happen. I'll try that, I'll get a degree not knowing what I want to do with it but knowing that having that knowledge years from now will breed new ideas if I continue to keep my head aware. The whole "chasing the carrot for the chase and not the carrot" deal. I might try EMT stuff.

I suffer from social anxiety often. I can't speak in classes without my heart rate skyrocketing, my focus crumbles and I end up rambling in ways that are logical but essentially verbose and stuttered. Overall I'm very lonely and I judge people too harshly, making friends is difficult because putting in the effort to know a person better has usually led to disappointment i.e. I usually don't like the person.

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>>10006172
That video incorrectly labels North America, Europe, western Russia and Australia as the only places that are vastly white.
>mfw my region is a secret stash of gorgeous germanic women

I have never seen the milky way galaxy. I want to go to a place where I can see it without light pollution. I feel like I will cry.

What does /lit/ think of this?

>>10016405
drive 4 hours out of your urban center. The silence and vastness is worth it. Do it. You're probably a loner so go alone.

fucking hell

Where do I find unbiased resources on Islam?

>>10016806
Quran

>>10016841
You can't even get 10 chapters in without it telling you to go and kill infidels several times. It tells you to go out and kill people before it can even sell you the religion

>>10014765

kek'd

>>10005698

Ill never exist again after i die.

Where should I publish Kantbot-like garbage if I think I might have a much better version of what Kantbot is doing, something that would be of interest to /lit/ and Land fans but much more scholarly and much less kitschy

>>10015604
Oh, so he was only pretending to be retarded

>>10019135
So making jokes is now considered "pretending to be retarded"? I think you're not even pretending

I have no friends and it makes me sad

>decide to do nofap
>fap 3 times before even getting out of bed in the morning

hmmm

>>10016358
Somewhat - more of a sanctioned, legal victim's revenge. The most important aspect of the justice system is deterrence - if you wrong people, you will get got

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I don't have courage in any aspect of my life. Every decision is a means of going with the flow or path of least-resistance.

>>10019157
Go run at a park, wave to the other runners. Go to the library and read a little, say hello to the librarian. Go get some coffee, ask the barista if she'd recommend something. Buy a little something off craigslist and shoot the shit with the seller if they're friendly. If you sit in your room nobody will come in there to befriend you.

i'm a 24-year-old friendless virgin NEET who spends 14 hours a day in one room reading shit and watching videos.

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>>10019157
It's okay I have no friends either. People like us are friends in spirit :=)

A girl sitting next to me on the train commented on the camus I was reading (Les Justes). We talked a little bit about literature and philosophy, then just as my stop came up she made a joke about zizek's sniffing.

fucking hell I hope I see her again

>>10019600
Assuming you're not content, start trying to make incremental improvements. Try to make it so at the end of the day, you can reflect back on something you did to improve your life.

While my internet was out, I took the opportunity to make a nice little picture of bugs bunny in a ski mask and gun, with the words “god forgivs, i dont” inscribed on his chest. It was a stellar image, but the marshal came and put our stuff on the curb this morning so it'll be a while before bugs sees the light of day. Mind you, I could full well post it if the need was strong enough, but something about hauling a desktop PC into a family friend's house (while mumbling some bullshit about excel spreadsheets or schoolwork no doubt) for at least the partial purpose of sharing a demented catoon rabbit is a bit too much. I made one inspired by Metal Gear Solid titled "bugs boss" (working title: "carrot eater") as well, which came out nicely. It was around 9:00 A.M. when the knock came at the door, while I was reading David Foster Wallace's "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again", which is a pretty good story. There's something tough to pinpoint about his nonfiction style which is super comforting. Like you can drop him in any situation and he'll have some guided approach and outlook to it whereas you'd just be bitching about how your back hurt. His ideas are decent, but his technique is wonderful. And the majority of minute observations about 90's society still feel true. I'd like to experiment with writing more.

Typing on a Vita sucks.

>>10008562
>tfw never had gf

God! I hate myself. I am a failure in everything I do. I can't even learn from my failures; I just do the same retarded shit over and over. I am tired of living. I am tired of being me. If it wasn't for him, I'd be hanging from the ceiling right now

>>10014714
I had this dream except she ended up spilling chemicals on my dick.

I feel like I'm happier now that I've been getting exercise, limiting how much I eat, and haven't been masturbating.

I'm worried though. I'm scared once I lose enough weight, I'll just revert to eating the same as I was and I'll become overweight again. I don't know if I have the will to watch my caloric intake for the rest of my life.

Also, I'm more concerned with masturbation and porn. I don't get urges very often, but I really want to watch porn. I don't even care about the masturbation part that much, I just want to watch. It's been several weeks since I quit, and I still crave it.

>>10020244
You're only human.

i want to break up with gf and defile christian qts.

>>10020225
>him

Who?

I feel the same way you are describing but I don't really put myself upon someone

>>10020338
Some guy I met on /lgbt/ that i've been talking to for about a month now. I seem to like the sexual attention he gives me. Often I get the thought that he just wants me for sex or that I won't even like it. But yeah I've convinced myself that I want it and he actually likes me.

Why my face and eyes gets puffy after crying? I've crying for months and I feel that I get them immediately of the act, do I cry a lot? Maybe I'm just getting used to that I can not distinguish how many tears are enough. I feel silly, I've been accepting that I probably will end all alone since no one cannot stand me. I feel alone also. Going to the kids library to make with them little and sweet craftsmanship according with the book I'm reading to them is the only slightly thing that keeps me a while happy.

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this pic is p sick

>>10020125
I want to see that.

Only slept for 3 hours and drank a massive cup of coffee to stay 'awake'

Felt dead twitchy and cold sweat kept forming on my armpits

Absolutely horrid.

Also, it's often said that similar people become friends. Does my frequent visit to /lit/ reveal a certain part of my Character?

I want to be happy maybe it's best for me to leave

>>10006581
No. haven't had a yes yet from publishers. a major one sent it to the editorial board but it was rejected. They told me to send them the next book I'll write though, so that's a silver lining.

>>10008640
It was both stressful and amazing. I used the deadline of a literary prize to finish the book and send it, so I had seven months.

I can tell you that making the jump involves a lot of balls but if you really want to be a writer just do it. I've never been poorer nor happier. Just make writing your priority.

Also keep in mind that I don't know you or your life - if everything else fails I can return to my parent's home, for example, you may not have that luxury. What worked for me may not work for you.

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>>10020244
i quit watching porn about a year and a half ago and i still yearn for it, especially when i see some qt bait post on /tv/ or /lit/, or watch a movie with nudity. the cravings don't seem to ever completely go away.

that said, since quitting porn i'm less depressed and generally spend my free time doing more interesting things. before i'd get high and spend hours masturbating to vore on /d/ or college girls on /s/, now i get high and spend hours writing sci-fi stories. at least i'm being productive (although i need to take it easy on the weed, desu).

anyway, good luck. sounds like you're doing all the right things and i'm glad that your life changes are starting to bring about a noticeable change in the quality of your experience.

>>10014812
I feel you brother. I really feel like modern society is extremely toxic for us beings who need meaning in our life.

Fuck materialism, fuck hedonism, fuck the emptiness, fuck technology fuck it all. All meaningless.

I'm currently reading Evola maybe you should give it a try. Ride the tiger

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>>10015414
Wow, you might be the first author to ever win the Nobel Prize foe Peace and Literature at the same time !

Are you a jew or a nigger ?

>>10005698
Been having strange and vivid dreams since I started reading Jung. My psyche is calling me a useless fuck via an anima figure.

Should I stop drinking alcohol?

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>>10015414

>>10006061
>left leaning liberal
Nah, you were - and still are - an uneducated retard who spews buzzwords. A left leaning liberal is an oxymoron.

The tragedy wherein an exquisitely spindly woman with a sumptuous vulva is sitting on someone's face but doesn't have the lower back strength to get herself off.

I accidentally writing all day again.
Plus some chores.

>>10005698
There seems to be no meaning on this life therefore nothing matters there is no wrong or right only what we are force by our brain to percive as right or wrong, maybe since nothing has an intrinsically value maybe we should focus on what our ego wants but egos are designed by nature to seek survival and to thrive for power, by this logic the most you can feed the ego is by achieving immortality and absolute power over everything, maybe we are meant to be gods after all thats what the serpent told to eva in the fantasy book

>>10005698

I'm very tired. People have been trying to destroy me for no reason since I was 8 years old. They've now succeeded. They'll rewrite the story of my life into one of inevitability. They'll say this was justice. They'll make themselves out to be heroes. I should have killed someone or other when I had the chance. I always knew this was coming but I had to be the bigger person. Oh well.

Everything feels so wrong. I want to be good, empathical, understanding and everything. I think that people deserve the best. But I am unable to realize any of this. People must hate me and I can't act like whatever I think what should be the right way to react to other people. Kill me. I guess I have to do it myself. This is so fucked and yet I'm here. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. What is this? Why? Damn, I'm sorry for this post. Kill me. I wouldn't mind. I even would say hello to a missle flying towards me. Not 'even', I would simply say hello. Come. End this shit. Thank you.

>>10005698

i want a fucking job. why did they cancel my fucking class. fuck community college. i spent months looking forward to finally being on the career path. why man

Nothing in literature screws me up more than character descriptions. I don't get how to process them. If they've just got blonde hair and they're tall, that's alright, but elaborate description of features and clothing I can't readily conjure up in my head throws me for a loop every time. Are you supposed to come up with a Frankenstein's monster sort of mish-mash of elements and have it stick in your mind somehow? The only time when this works is when the image is ready-made (like a clown) and there's no ambiguity.

Am I alone here?

>>10023391
I hope you will achieve your dreams. Good luck man, good luck. You deserve it because no one else deserves it any more. Why would they? Hopefully everything works out for you as you wish.

>>10023423

I'm barely capable of parsing these or descriptions of landscapes. My mental pictures are dog shit. I recently read Don Quixote and then later, looking at Dore's illustrations of the novel, I was like.. wow, why can't I think like that?

>>10005698
I'm sitting at my desk waiting for a vessel to depart. It's quite boring you know, just waiting, but in the end, isn't that what life is all about? Waiting. Waiting for something fun to happen, waiting for your turn at the bank, waiting for your time to shine, waiting for your time to go. I'm still here waiting. Waiting for a certain time so I can go home and wait some more.

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>>10023446

Thank you.

I've lost everything and nothing will replace it.

I get my hopes up too often. Everything is grander in my head than it is in real life. even if i work hard for something i can never appreciate it, i am always unsatisfied. i can't stop comparing myself to others
I know i am hurting myself in the long run but i cannot stop myself

>>10006069
Probably because he was being published before the publishing industry went full identitarian

>>10023480
Same here, man. Anything past the most basic depiction leaves me frustrated and left out. Maybe it's genetic.

>>10005980
find a trade and do your best. write in free-time, go write in places outside to meet people

I never understood identity politics. Why do they care about skin colour? Why do people care about origin? Why do they care about the past at all?
My skin colour is a given. I never chose my origin. My past sucks. It's all random and determined. This whole thing doesn't add up at all. It doesn't matter. I'm a pathetic human being like manys others but none of us chose this condition. Why isn't determinism the mainstream culture in effect? If it was, everything would be much easier. Instead people believe that everything is a matter of choice. This is where things go wrong. Choice never has been free and to this day there has been no proof for something to be called a matter of free will. Still people make this the fundamental occasion of their reasoning. I don't get it. No surprise that everything is so dishonest and hypocritical.

>>10023608
I'm low IQ and bad with hands. What trade can I do?

>>10023631
Divide and conquer + make people focus on a practical non-issue

>>10005698
Tchaikovsky is fucking good at melody

>>10023648
and nothing else.

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>go outside
>happy couples, happy couples everywhere

>>10023951
Just masturbate before you go out, you'll feel better. You'll find a female/male/both in time.

>>10024284
I don't like to fap before going out, it makes me feel less confident.

>>10015273
I intend to leave this post forever, following this post. This place never helped me, although I will now try to help you. My original post is two spots above yours.

Do not fear failure. You are capable of creating many ideas for stories, or revising this original idea if it is so dear to you. Write, write, write for god's sake, you will never get any better if you do not try immediately and do not give up on it. Never give up on it.

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>>10024596
I give you this reply with the intent of saying that I've read your post. Thank you, you are a true friend.

>>10015273
You are going about it all wrong. You have to have something basic before you can have something complex. The funny thing is that your idea is most certainly not nearly as good as you think it is, and only through writing it down will you realize this. Once you have a terrible version of it on paper, only then will you see it in clarity and see the obvious ways that it will be better.

So just write it down without editing or revision as you go. Abandon thoughts of proper prose and detailed descriptions. First build the prototype, then redesign it for a production model. You have to have a car first, or else you have nothing to wax.

First make something, once you have something made, you can move onto the next step. But if you don't first have something, then you will never be able to have something good. So just have something.

Even if you wrote it down and both of your hands were cut off in a tragic accident, and you lost your tongue so you couldn't clearly speak to use speech-to-text to write your book, and you had brain damage in an explosion so you couldn't use a basic typewriter, even as a retarded mute amputee, if you had a terrible novel written, you'd be ahead of the 99% of people who wish they had and go their whole lives and never do.

oh shit i thought 300 was the bump limit, if this shit's still alive then lets post some mother fuckin feels! hell ya

>>10023378
I'm not from pol but the moral assumption that we are all capable of removing ourselves from our loyalties, bias to treat people equal regardless of who they are has had seriously detrimental impact on our society and our individual lives.

Is it fair that we are demanded to strictly abide by a thought experiment and remove ourselfs from our community, nation and livelihood?

I hate Nazism, Stalinism and other radical ideologies and in no way a supporter of their values but when you see the spirit purpose and dignity that the Nazi party offered to the German people I can understand why they so readily embraced it

We aren't as smart, empathetic, reasonable as we have been taught to believe. Without community we are utterly exposed to our flaws without repreive.

Having a very difficult time getting my new project going at a decent pace because I'm stuck on a major indecision. I have two act 1s for the same novel, and they both drastically change the characters, plot, and themes of the rest of the story. For some reason I've named them Gold and Black.

Gold: Protagonist grows up in a renaissance, where a war happened 50 years in the past that changed the stability of the world to allow where she lives to develop independently from the culturally stagnant environment of the outside world and the sensitive political and social problems of the outside world. There's an inciting event that causes her to become a fugitive from her home, and she's forced to work for the future-antagonist in an effort to earn a favor and clear her name so she can go home. Later he betrays her and leaves her for dead, and the rest of the story is her trying to stop him from doing something terrible, and sacrificing her own credibility for the greater good, and having to deal with people seeing her as a villain.

Black: The protagonist exists during the war, as does the renaissance she grows up in, the war is brought to a border in her home, however she is sacrificed after learning something terrible about the savior of her homeland (the antagonist), and he sends her to her death aboard a crashing ship with thousands of others. She survives an extreme situation by putting herself into cryosleep, and waking up every few years to find another person who crashed to kill them and take batteries from them in order to keep her cryopod operational. Eventually she escapes after 50 years in her "purgatory", and returns to find her home having regressed into a "dark age" of culture and thought, and her "renaissance" way of thinking and seeing the world collides with the violent, barbaric world she has to confront. She's on the wrong side of history, as the antagonist is seen as a great savior from the war 50 years ago, and so she has to create a band of misfits, criminals, and murderers in order to fulfill a quest to stop him.

Its further complicated by the fact that there are two short stories related to this character, and that they cannot really co-exist, and instead one is attached to both Black and Gold versions of act 1.

Gold's short story is pretty straight forward, it shows how the protagonist gets a terrible reputation and causes a huge political-social problem during a raid on an illegal human meat processing facility, where she has to make a decision to save civilians, and ends up saving the most she can, which causes the deaths of a smaller number of others of another race, which causes a massive anti-human sentiment in the galaxy.

Black's short story revolves around an inmate of the prison ship she crashes on and hibernates in trying to "find salvation" by not raping her sleeping body, and instead spends 50 years protecting her while she sleeps

Its a hard decision

Just wish I knew what I felt and wanted.

I need to slow down and I'll be okay. Also
odd- PST
even- vodka

I hate society and I will not be reading anymore in this thread after commenting because I consider YOU. and have the thinnest skin of any person in history. I fucking hate all of you for criticizing me and see no point in indulging myself out there when I'd rather be thinking and dreaming than doing. I'll do to what my extent is to not have to deal with society because of this cripplement, and have also have come to understand fully that society does not need me, nor will I have ever been able to make use of it in any capacity except to consume. I have tried and tried again to find motivation or gain some sense of self-dignity, but each time I do, I find myself to become hypocritical. I will not be a hypocritical being. I have thought out all regarding opinions to this that any may have I hate all of. I am not going to change this, if I do, it will be under my own sense and not from direct communication with anyone else. You are all so reliant on society as a whole, this ruined and disgraceful society. I'd rather be myself, thank you. I understand that there are perks, I grew up knowing all the perks of being a sociable being. It is all filled with drama. If I am going to have drama in my life, it's going to be stemming from inside my head to figure out how I can best everything and best this sick fucking joke of humanity. I could go outside and do things, but everyone says "wow you are so deluded in your thinking!" when i am actually trying my best not to be. keeping up with society and basing your opinions off of the thoughts of others is stupid. never follow the flow, be your Own goddamn human being. Looking up to others is silly, looking down on others is hypocritical. Judging people in itself is a delusional thought process, thinking any of your opinions is truly right.
So yeah, basically everything society does and everything I'd have to partake are actions that are fake and society in itself is just sooo fucking fake. People who believe that they aren't fake, are probably describing themselves as "trying hardest to be honest" "doing to fit in" "doing to be happy" "doing to-" it's all doings and their personalities. They will whither and be surrounded by support, or they will whither and have their actions affecting others forever. Or they will die suddenly and effect everyone. Anyways, it's all fake shit.
I think. I will never be social except on the basis for essential survival. A house, a job. But that is my dilemma. Socialize a little to survive or survive using only my philosphy. I don't want any holes in this to become hypocritical. but right now I will always have to socialize.
I don't at all participate in anything, actually, this is my first communication on the internet in about a couple of years. This is a break, a true fucking break and I hate myself for it. A hypocrite. What's the fuckign point. releasing dopamine is enjoyable "Hey, who cares. Dopamine IS enjoyable, so why not partake?" everyone is doing it, and the people l,j

>>10026676
You're definitely going to read the replies at some point.

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It's fair to say that I do have some issues. I know what they are and I have a clear cut strategy as to how to go about getting rid of them. But I am also 100% devoid of willpower. I feel doomed because of my own nature. I live in a constantly repeating cycle of trying, seeing the feeblest trace of success and giving up, then trying to motivate myself to start anew. I am incapable of continuity.

I woke up at 11 A.M. this morning feeling shoddy, but not ill, and downed two cap-fulls of Pepto-Bismol to be safe. The house I'm in is old and rather dirty, with bathroom tiles a sickly green-and-yellow that would offend anyone's tastes nowadays. Looking back, every house I've ever spent time in was like this. Not dirty in a bad sense, but more in a you-can-let-your-guard-down-here sort of way. All the comforts of modern American life with none of the pretension. Looking back, it's no wonder I hated living in a college dorm. Those guys come from money, and they don't get this at all.

Sickness is becoming a defining trait of my character. I now spend a non-trivial amount of time hunched over on cushions expelling gas from my throat, or in the bathroom applying ointment to various places. My weight is 153 lbs. and dropping by the day. Digestion issues were almost charming in Steppenwolf, but here they're mind-numbing. Cumulative minutes of the day in rhythmic, bestial churning and emitting. Thought formations no longer abstract monuments but weak threads to cling to through the bumps and pops of poor getting-along. Doing things just to have something to do. And so on.

>>10021206
no it's not

>>10006526
I used to have a friend like this. He clung to the first girl that gave him the slightest bit of attention, resulting in a relationship that was borderline abusive. Don't end up like this friend.

I don't have a single reason to live

I don't need nor want anything but surviving is such a hassle and a burden for my family who supports me

why can't I simply die in my sleep? I ask for this every day and wake up dissapointed to still be alive