Trans story thread

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>>8867221
>i burned all my girl cloths wen i got outed.
>tried to kill my self.
>got fat cus i ate my dysphoria way it never worked but you cant feel sad when there's cake in your mouth.
>now on verge of being homeless
>lost some weight and still going but slow
>if im not homeless im starting hrt at the end of the month
>still might kill my self tho...

is that a good trans story?

>>8867221
>be 12
>start wearing sisters clothes when she's out
and so on from there

>>8867310
This tbqh

It all gets really fucked from there.

>>8867300
I don't know how to respond desu, just don't kill yourself please

>>8867310
same desu

>>8867463
life just sucks for some of us.

>>8867469
Yeah i guess... i thought i had it bad just dealing with dysphoria and my parents not supporting me

>>8867483
my dad threatened to kill me in my sleep
and disowned me
and my other family thinks im some kinda pedophile for being trans/dating a guy...oh yeah plus the all the joys that come with being trans and not being able to start transitioning ... so yeah.... some people have it more suck-tastic then others... so i dunno... be glad yours sucks less.

>>8867502
Damn i couldn't even imagine that, i really hope it gets better for you soon

>>8867509
me to.... hence the
>"still might kill my self tho..."

ya know, if it doesn't.
it sucks pretty hard.

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>Be 6
>All my best friends are girls, hang out at each other's houses and talk all day

>Be 12
>Always play as girls in every game, MMO, FPS, anything
>Always like to roleplay as a girl in MMOs and have other people think I'm a girl

>Be 16
>While at a supermarket after school w/ friends to get snacks I slip a pair of stockings into my sports bag and walk out with them
>Try them on that night and love how they feel
>Still roleplaying

>Be 17
>Discover sissy porn and become massively hooked on it
>Start shaving my legs, buying dildos
>Realize there's something wrong with me
>Become massively depressed and start failing school

>Be 19
>Failing out of university, cry all the time about how fucked up I am
>Stop leaving the house because it hurts to see cis girls because of how jealous I am of them and their bodies

>Be 21
>Have no idea where the last 4 years of my life have gone, I spend all day every day in my room playing games and wishing my life would end
>Disgusted at the hair I'm starting to grow on my chest and stomach
>Finally decide something has to be done
>Come out to my parents as trans, start HRT
>Feel like I'm starting transitioning super late, hate myself every day
>Cry myself to sleep every night full of regret for not starting at 17 when I knew something was up
>2.5 months into HRT now

This is where I'm at right now, I hate myself so much I wish I'd started at 17. I still think I'll end up passing because I've had probably a non-existent testosterone level for the last 4 years since I do no physical activity and I look identical to how I did when I finished school but I keep thinking over and over "If you'd started at 17, you'd be a girl by now. If you'd started at 18, you'd be a girl by now. You're so fucking stupid."

What hurts the most is knowing that by the time I pass, I'll be at least late 22.

I hate myself so fucking much anons I really do.

How's that for a story?

>>8867518
>Stop leaving the house because it hurts to see cis girls because of how jealous I am of them and their bodies
i know that feeling... also im 26 and and only just now starting soonish maybe...if im not homeless. so im jelly of you at this point.

>>8867518
Elaborate on how feminine you were before 12, any other signs, and the hanging out with all girls.

>>8867514 desu i don't know how to help... i really wish i did. all i can really say is that it might get better <3

>>8867518
hey courtney. you look very pretty. I am a straight man and my name is billy and I do not think I can help you but your story really touched my heart, and for some reason I got the impression that you must have really nice feet. so this is where i ask you, could you post your feet? the fact that you are a male who does girly things really makes me have butterflies, and if i seen a picture of your feet, well it would really help me out

>>8867535
I was pretty feminine as a young boy, and was never very masculine. I used to braid the girls' hair and we'd play pretend and stuff like that.

Once in Year 7 when I was about 12 or 13 years old, on the bus to school a bunch of the girls did "makeup" on me with highlighters and markers, it looked ridiculous but I loved the experience and whenever I think about that day I cry, I still have a photo somewhere

It's not that I didn't have male friends, I did, just all my best friends were girls and I'd always spend the most time with them

The signs were right in front of me and I just ignored them and hid everything away

>>8867518
I think i'm going to learn from your mistakes and start hrt soon. i hope your transition goes well <3

>>8867539
its fine. thanks for your genuine sounding concern that's rare on here.

>>8867547
Please do, anon. Idk how old you are or what sort of place you're in but start HRT asap. My biggest regret in my entire life is pretending there wasn't a problem when there clearly was

>>8867518
Jesus Courtney I'm so sorry, you'll be okay though :)

>>8867548
Thanks :) Finding people who give a shit about other people can be hard, especially on 4chan.

>>8867518
Can you afford FFS? How are you financially?

>>8867545
hey there court.. me again. well, could you post those feet now?

>>8867555
I have just started high school and the second i'm able to i am starting hrt

>>8867563
yeah and that doesn't help... i just wish i had any one but y'all toxic asses to talk to about this stuff but i just don't know were to turn.
>(i guess your excluded from that toxic remark.)

>>8867566
My family is very well off and have promised to fund whatever I need so yeah I guess I'll be getting FFS + VFS and all that stuff, no amount of money can make up for lost time though :/

>>8867568
Please stop.

>>8867570
Good luck with your transition, starting that early I'm sure you'll be fine :)

>>8867573
Do you have any family that you can turn to? like a brother or sister than you know wont judge you?

>>8867574
oh, ok. ill stop. i apologize. i didnt do anything wrong. you never will give me a fair shot anyway. your standards are too high, but not based on reality. you think you are better than everyone else. well i am a young man in real estate and i am doing very well in life, i built my life and worked my way to the top. i dont need validation from people like you. i walk by people like you and look you DEAD in the eye, regardless of how you perceive my looks, and show you that NO MATTER what you put in my way, I WILL RUN THROUGH IT LIKE A LION, and go about my life

>>8867578
nope. i got me my self and i.

>>8867589
Damn that sucks, hmmmmm do you have a decent computer? i have meet some of my best friend by playing online game like cs:go.

>>8867608
also a big fat no. im pretty much fucked.
and i know it....
thanks for trying to help tho i appreciate it.

does it bother you transexual women, that no matter what you put my way, i will still continue to be successful in the public and in life?

there are many who hate me and give me a hard time, but i have trampled them for about 4 years now since i got serious in my career and took over my uncles business. i am 22 years old

>>8867620
no problem, i really hope you start doing better <3

honestly if i were you guys, i think i would have a little "bad blood" against me, and i would feel a little "bitter" if you know what i mean

>>8867636
honestly no one cares, good for you but it hard to believe you are successful man when you get butt hurt when someone wont send a pic of there feet

I went bald at 17 lost most of my hair and finally started treating it at 24 because I didn't know it was even possible till then. 29 now and been on hormones 4 years and my hair never grew back, I can't even afford a wig that isn't so obvious I just want to die every time someone looks at me.

>>8867657
damn that really sucks, any chance your mom or day could help you buy a nice wig?

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>>8867648

I'm sensitive but yeah I can care less what you believe, the truth is in the sales I am making and the truth is in the way I dominate louisville and have been for 4 years

>me 26 STILL closeted mtf
>struggling to come out for years
>long hair, female clothes, still egg
>finally ready to deal with this
>today get hired at company
>great opportunity, super happy
>men cant have long hair
>must cut it before orientation next monday

I dont know what to do. Im dying here

There are many beautiful transgirls in louisville. I dont know if the transgirls on 4chan could compare

>>8867666
No my mother is disabled and poor and my father said he'd murder me if he ever saw me again.
>>8867686
Talk to HR about it. Be open about why you dont want to cut it.

>>8867686
How much do you need that job?

>>8867690
Holy fuck, damn that sucks

>>8867686
Sexist standards.

Happy story for a change.

>>Have trans feelings all my life
>>Realise at 21 they are not gonna go away
>>Start hormones at 22, going on 23
>>Super excited at first
>>Get depressed at around 3,4months HRT, feel ugly and manly and unpassable
>>Start male-failing at 6mo
>>Still feel awful, begin voice training
>>At around 1yr my body begins looking okay. Not spectacular, not pretty, not even that feminine.
>>Go full time at 1yr.
>>Wear dude clothes and still pass
>>Went dress shopping with my gf yesterday, just looked like a girl in the dresses I bought, an ugly and big girl maybe but a girl nonetheless.

My voice still needs work, I am muscular af still, and I feel my face is ugly. And all my family has small tits so mine are just an A cup. But I pass fairly consistently, and my body is not disastrously bad and looks quite female (still clockable by trans-familiar peeps I reckon but I still have a lot of muscle to lose). I look pretty with makeup on, not gorgeous, but not hideous either. I am graduating from university in December. I reckon once I get some FFS and perfect my voice most people won't ever suspect I'm a tranny and I might even be moderately pretty.

Did I get to be the petite, beautiful girl I always wanted to be? Hell no. But I don't think I ended up in a place that's too bad. I feel hopeful for the future, and I feel like I can put all this trans shit behind me.

>>8867690
i know, i really should. im just scared i guess. i carry a lot of self destructive shame with being trans

also im very sorry to hear about your situation.

>>8867691
i want it kinda badly. im like poor. its a low level position but there are good internships there that i want to apply for, and when i mentioned that, the manager said shed be glad to help me as long as my performance is good

>>8867702
for real. i already feel cursed to be the wrong gender. now im being punished for it

>>8867702
Nobody cares, because it’s sexist against men. Fuck this gay earth

>>8867733
Good for you anon. I think that’s what we all hope, to be able to put this shit behind us and live life. I hope you get there.

>>8867733
I'm really happy for you anon, I hope you have a wonderful life :)

>>8867555
Transition has no long-term proven benefits.
Don't trap yourself.
STOP FAPPING, START LIVING!

>>8867751
Transitioning will only hurt you in the long run.
Long-term, transition ends badly for everyone.

The best option is to fight for the cure.

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>Be law student
>Need to do placement
>6 months HRT and hair past shoulders oh damn I am in trouble if I do it with a law firm
>Was partly inspired to transition by a transgender lawyer in my area who is really successful
>Send her a lovely mail from a throwaway email saying thanks for giving me the the courage to transition (even if a law firm would probably ask me to cut my hair)
>Forget about it
>Weeks later she responds and she is okay with meeting up for coffee
>We both go silent for weeks
>I accidentally stumble in to a piece of assessment where she's grading us
>Awkwardly hiding my smile
>One day she goes "What are you doing right now?" and we meet up hours later for drinks
>She sees me and says she thought I was the trans student
>We share stories about our transitions and she gives me advice on being a professional
>She tells some students she knows that I'm trans, with my permission, and since a couple people know, it overcame that "coming out" barrier and I'm fearless about transition now
>Weeks later I approach her and say "If it isnt too much to ask, and I don't mean to impose, may I do my placement with you?"
>Low key panicking because it's either this lawyer or a faceless firm that'll probably treat me incorrectly with respect to my hair / transition etc.
>She agrees
>While I'm getting the approval form signed she gets a phone call from another student asking for a placement spot. She rejects them.

>>8867300
how did u get outed?

>>8867221
>be straight
>get into shemale porn
>get into traps
>want to be a trap
>think you're trans
>realize you aren't trans
>become a cis femboy
>don't take hormones
>be cute anyway

feels good tbhon

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>>8867939
feels even better to be passably part time mtf, and have sex with other mtf's

>start transition
>life does entire 360
>happy like not before
>great job, amazing pay, even better benefits
>get compliments and get hit on everywhere
>get amazing boyfriend
>life seems so good its almost like a dream
>come to /TTTT/
>hope to read good stories and meet like minded people
>everyone is salty and sour talking shit to each other
>well maybe i can do something and give ppl advice on how to improve life, or at least give hope
>nope
>that only causes ppl to target me and hate me
>i start feeling down again
>get of /TTTT/ for a few days
>every goes back to joy and smiles in my life
>come back to post this
>if youre new to this board please do yourself a favor and leave
>leaving /TTTT/ for good

>>8867944

lol gay i prefer to be consensually raped by beefy straight men tbhon

>>8867936
im transitioning in my last year of lawschool too... no placement yet tho....

>>8867949
>"Eheheh just find your own placement!"
>Hundreds of students that arent trans exhaust their connections then apply to the nearby firms
>If you're anything less than a crew cut in a suit as a AMAB then you're unprofessional and good luck getting a placement
>Tell them your circumstances and it's a "Why would that be relevant? Our firm policy is accepting of all sexual preferences" followed by a "Sorry. No placement positions available."
Don't get me started on how much I fear having to make submissions in Court. It hurts knowing pragmatically my hair wont make or break an adjournment but some people will think I'm slack and unprofessional for it anyway. 9 months HRT sucks. Hurry up damn it.

>come out to my mom
>she tries to be supportive but see it hurts her
>drop the subject
>still start HRT
>over a year later, still in boymode because I need FFS to have a chance in passing
>she accidentally sees my meds
>realizes I'm still trans
>bombards me with all the typical stuff like 'you've never been feminine as child', 'you've always be my son's, 'you've just been convinced by evil doctors', 'people will ridicule you', 'just get a girlfriend and think of yourself as girl when you're with her', 'I want grandkids, after that idgaf' while crying
The good thing is our relationship is such that she didn't even consider getting me to throw away my meds or anything, and our relationship is still good even if potentially ticking bomb.

>>8867981
>'I want grandkids, after that idgaf' while crying

that fucking feel even for cisgays desu senpaitachi fml

>>8867588
You are suppose to tell her. Show bobs, open vagene!

>>8867981
'you'll always be my son'*

>>8867518
My past is kinda similar to yours. I started hrt at 17 but am very sad about not starting at 14, although I've been on HRT for a few years now so I've slightly gotten over it (I still cry about it sometimes though). I have horrible genetics (my mom looks super manly) so I look like a hon and I'm taller than 70% of men and my voice is naturally the deepest out of everyone I know, so even after training for years I still sound androgynous rather than female when I talk. I just really wish I transitioned before puberty affected me, but I can't go back in time so it's too late for that now. To make it worse, I knew I wanted to when I was 5 but didn't because the people around me talked about it really negatively when I brought it up indirectly (like "what do you think of people that change their sex").
I also dropped out of university, twice, because HRT made my motivation problems even worse (side effect of lack of testosteron).
I have a boyfriend though that has no interest in my penis (which I am glad about) and my family accepted my transition, and I live in the Netherlands which is a very safe and progressive country, so I suppose I am relatively lucky.

>>8868105
It could always be worse, anon.

You'll pass, so will I. I have good genes, slim shoulders and money for FFS / whatever I need to get there.

I'm not upset about starting late because it means I won't pass, I'm upset about starting late because I skipped those golden 18 - 21 years as a dumb boy instead of a cute girl. Be grateful for your youth :)

>>8868118
I dunno if I'll ever pass 100% the time, but it could be worse. I just have to build up more confidence so that eventually if someone asks me if I'm trans or if I was born female or not I won't cave in but just lie about it instead. It's none of anyone's business anyway since I already have a partner.
I probably can't do that until I get SRS though. The stuff I have just makes me feel like I'm hiding something and I am generally a honest person.

>>8867938
i was using face book at the time and one of the trans groups made the group open for a week by accident and my fucking aunt didn't under stand it and blabbed to every one trying to.

I came out to my parents at 14, they didn't support me, but recently after just turning 21 my mom noticed I was really gloomy so she talked to me and asked me if I was still upset about the gender thing, I told her I was and wanted to kill myself. She's now helping me with all the doctor stuff and I'm on hrt now. Some days she tells me she's excited and supportive, other days she tells me she doesn't understand why I can't just be gay and she doesn't like what I'm doing. It's a real rollercoaster ride but I've been on hormones for 3 months now and although I would've liked to have started at 14 I'm pretty happy with my results so far

>be me
>GNC as a child, knitting, sewing, usually play pretend with my little brother and stuffed animals, (also pretend cook), hate exercise unless parents request it (I'm terrified of my dad). Avoid my dad when he asks me to watch/help him fix cars and shit.
>have tendency to only have one male friend who I adore, jealous of girls because I feel like I can't relate to the people I'm hanging out with.
>start avoiding cameras and mirrors after I get severely depressed at 10 (abandonment related, I drank liquor from my grandma's cabinet)
>be in middle school, female acquaintance from 5th grade somehow moved to the same school as me and befriends me bcz I'm avoiding everyone and reading books all day (I'm in 7th grade)
>enter high school, still massively homophobic and transphobic because it's been drilled into me that they're disgusting
>reach 11th grade, decide I'm bi because I'm definitely crushing on my male friend. Get creeped on by two gay guys who want tops.
>go to college, I'm glad to be far away from my monster of a father. I decide to try dating a boy for the first time because I'd put it off so long.
>after a couple months he decides to start calling me Daddy even though I made it very clear I wasn't comfortable with it and I didn't want to top
>we never actually fuck because the relationship is shit and he wants me to fuck him
>regardless realize that I was never truly bi. Red flags happened before but I ignored them.
>attempt to break up with bf, he creeps on me for another half a year
>start dating a very gay girl, both surprised it even happened (she's decided she's somewhere in between butch and gay male now).
>my ex is still creeping on me
>stsrt to question whether I'm trans
>go through 1.5 semesters wanting to kms
>go to a psych for tiddy skiddles
>gatekept until July bcz suicidal
Now I'm 1.5 months in and my fat related dysmorphia is kicking in again because I gained weight. Also I'm afraid I'm masculinity because I don't trust my doctor.

>Be 16
>Try to convince yourself that you're trans by going through the motions and everything
>it Literally works

>>8868854
It's the Jews hun

>>8868850
Hit word limit, fuck greentext.

I started questioning because I started growing hair on my chest and it was making me anxious.

Beforehand, while I did have some hair on my face it wasn't super thick, though I'd still pick at it.

Finally got away from my ex tho.

I have been feeling happier and more productive overall but the cyclic depression that I've had all my life and got worse in Spring still isn't getting better.

I'm not sure whether things will improve.

>>8868854
I hope this is a troll.

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Not sure if this one counts, but here ya go.

>generally avoidant at childhood
>would rather stay at home and play pretend with my cousin
>get scolded regularly for acting too "girly", get regularly to "man up", but I never really wanted to
>tried to act "properly" anyway, because "mom knows what's best for me"
>never truly become a masc guy, still a timid weakling who could burst into tears with a slightest pressure
>learn about trans people somewhere at the age of 14
>"interesting, huh? still not for me though"
>thought about it virtually every single day since then, made a lot of research
>considered it seriously, asked for advice, everyone said I'd make a great girl since I would've transitioned early (15 at the time)
>backed out anyway
>started making excuses
>"I mean yeah, who wouldn't WANT be a girl, right? That's absolutely normal for everyone"
>horrible depression, dropped out of uni twice
>repressed till 22
>never truly give up on the dream
>finally started HRT recently
>live in a poor shithole where trannies are frowned upon
>poor, no money in a foreseeable future, so no FFS for me
>will get outed for sure if I get discovered
>probably won't pass since I'm a late transitioner, too big for a girl (ironically I was bullied for being too small in my school), some people obviously hugbox me saying that I'll DEFINITELY pass in the future
>look in the mirror often, trying to imagine if I have any potential at all, fail pretty much every time


My life is subarashi.
The only thing that I hate more than myself is the fact that my entire life depended on a 50/50 chance and I wasn't lucky enough to get another chromosome.

>>8869030
im pretty similar to you. waited too long. by the time i was 22-23 it became unbearable, but by then i felt too unpassable. more repression and depression and now im 26 and about to finally srart since i feel damn near suicidal. i'll never pass without ffs but i have no choice now. wish i hadnt waited.

good luck anon. start earlier than me.

>>8868876
Get a blood test. You should be getting them regularly anyway. What are you dosages?

>>8867300
don't kill yourself please

>>8870265
Asked for a blood test from my GP, she refused to give me one until October.

I'm just going to suffer I guess.

200mg Spiro, 2mg sublingual estradiol

>>8870270
>Asked for a blood test from my GP, she refused to give me one until October.
They want you to wait 3 months to make absolutely sure your levels have changed as much as they're going to. It's still too short if you're obviously still experiencing masculinisation though. They should have given you one before you started too.

>200mg Spiro, 2mg sublingual estradiol
The oestrogen is low. The spiro is the "normal" dosage but spiro just isn't very effective. Both of those factors mean it's not unlikely your testosterone levels will be outside of the correct ranges.

I guess you're at their mercy for now, but if the blood tests show your levels are still too low and they don't adjust your regimen properly, then you should find a different doctor or self-medicate. It's possible that the hair growth started before the drugs fully took effect, and it'll be okay now.

Finding new body/facial hair is an awful experience.

>>8870270
You can just go and get a blood test anon, check out HRTGen. Also double your estradiol to 4mg and take one in the morning and one at night

>Going to get SRS in Montreal
>Am young and crazy, decided to drive myself there instead of flying (yes this worked out OK)
>Get to Canadian border crossing
>Asked why I'm going to Canada
>Say I'm going for medical treatment
>Told to pull over and go inside
>Do as told and go inside
>Talk to a cute, laid back young guy with curly blond hair who's sucking a lollipop
>Show him letter from surgeon. It says I'm scheduled for "SRS"
>Border guy asks what SRS is
>Say it means sex reassignment surgery
>Gives me a puzzled look and asks what that is
>I say it's a sex change operation
>The light bulbs go off, he puts a stamp on my letter, wishes me well and sends me on my way.

>>8870309
Already take one in the morning and one at night, and Spiro in morning and night (every 12 hrs) because I was looking up drug half lives because my doctor and pharmacist didn't tell me shit.

>>8870305
Yeah I'm hoping it was just from before, and I am getting some breast growth so I'm not completely boned, but if my levels are low and she won't adjust them I guess I'll try and look somewhere else.

Issue is I'm on a student health insurance plan to avoid my shitty dad seeing the prescription but maybe I could go to planned parenthood or something? I can't afford getting disowned.

I don't know if I can pay for meds out of pocket though so we'll see what happens.