Transition feels like a gamble with extremely bad odds

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First of all, I'm currently 20 (mtf), and I won't have the financial ability to start hrt before I'm 25 (can't get hormones in my home state).
I've known I was trans since age 13, I basically knew everything about mtf transitions by the time I was starting puberty, but I live in a LGBT-phobic family and state, so my transition would involve me finishing my college degree and getting a job in a different state which has doctors that can provide actual care for me.
I'm already 6'4, with huge shoulders (it's not muscle, I can feel my shoulder bones and I don't do any weight training), and thin hips.
With all these factors, and my deep male voice it seems very likely to me that transitioning is a lost effort on me...
All these steps seem exceedingly difficult to carry out in reality:
>Hopefully getting to move and getting hormones by 25, then doing years of hormones while HOPING that I react well to them and develop breast tissue and get good fat redistribution.
>Hopefully succeeding at getting my voice and mannerisms to an acceptable place.
>Hopefully having the money to absorb years of medical costs for hormones, endocrinologist visits, psych evaluations, electrolysis, laser hair removal, FFS (which I most definitely need to present female successfully), and the list of expenses just goes on.
>Doing all those things, while also keeping my career and social life in tact seems almost insurmountable.
Going through everything involved in transition, both financially and emotionally, and getting bad results after years of effort seems like a risk that's just a bit too big to take.
I feel it might be best for me to just choose to live with the knowledge that I'll never transition, and try to use the money not spent to make it easier to cope mentally. Maybe I'll still get body hair removal so I feel a little better and try to slowly live my life presenting male while trying to not kill myself both literally, and emotionally.
Any opinions?