on a timer?

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> have had tranny thoughts since middle school; became a huge fan of Rocky Horror
> went almost full crossdresser
> bought long thigh high socks, colorful socks, started to shave my body and face, wore my hear long, and other shit
> puberty hits and my mom gave me looks; toned it down
> skip through high school, not thinking about it
> now in college and kind of out to my best friends but still not sure
> sometimes, I really hate my hairy body, masculine build, beard, and other manly features; I want to be smooth, pretty, and be called female
> other times, I doubt that I am being true to myself and feel that I am just trying to preserve some ancient feeling
> friends are telling me what's up and why I haven't transition; also terrified of what parents will think and how therapists are sometimes not very helpful, mostly just reaffirm your own thoughts.
> Does not help the self-doubts

What to do? I feel like I am on a timer or else, I am gonna end up full Caitlyn Jenner in the future.