Quick survey - how did you repress in eggmode?

>>8824289
>femboys
>not transitioning

I feel like this quiz doesn't really apply to me or something..

Can you clarify on what these things mean and how they all aren't compatible?

I just did "I was dysphoric until I transitioned" because that's the truth. But what the fuck does transitioning mean to you?

>>8824289
>http://www.strawpoll.me/13869967
Which one to choose for numb yourself with drugs and alcohol?

>>8824289
Being a femboy except I had to start HRT at 24, I'm still repressing though

>>8824289
Meme, but I'm curious if HSTS are more likely to overcompensate and AGP are more likely to crossdress and feminize themselves. HSTS are attracted to their assigned gender, whereas AGP are attracted to their target gender, so HSTS seem most likely to fall for the "I'd be an ugly girl but at least I can be a hot guy!" thing. If they were successful enough their attraction to themselves when they looked in the mirror would outweigh the dysphoria they felt when they looked in the mirror, whereas AGPs would be unable to be attracted to their original form.

Of course that doesn't hold up when you realise most femboys are gay, but there could be some truth in it...

>>8824289
I kind of did a mix of 2 and 3 but failed at both. I played a lot of video games and smoked a lot of weed and always tried to be funny but loveable and unthreatening. I got fat and saw myself as hideous so I made fun of myself a lot. When it came to sports/active/dangerous stuff and girls I always stood at the sidelines so people thought I was probs gay (plus I'm a sassy over the top smart ass at my core) and the nail was really driven in when I crushed on my gay friend and we became joined at the hip but no homo :p we didn't actually do anything and I repressed and shaved my hair, lost weight and became a chav for a while and lived on a boat before coming out as mtf a few months later.

>>8824299
It's whichever worked best, not whichever you did. So if you did all of them, but felt better doing one than the others, pick that one.

Like for me, I'm FTM and used to dress tomboyishly as a teen (even cut my hair short) and did a lot of stereotypical "boy" things, but once I got older and more self-aware I began to realise that all of those things just emphasised how I didn't pass. I'm attracted to women and preferred seeing myself as a cute girl than an ugly, butch one who still didn't pass as a guy, so I overcompensated and became really feminine for a few years. During that time I completely stopped wearing even boyish clothes aimed at women (stuff like sportswear) because seeing myself in it just made me feel like shit. So, I picked the overcompensating option, because imitating my target gender without passing just made me feel worse.

>>8824398
What was the overcompensating like? And what was the appeal in being a cute girl yourself?

>>8824408
The appeal's that I'm attracted to cute girls and appreciate their cute girl aesthetics. Looking like that meant I could think somewhat positively about my appearance - better to look likeable, approachable and desirable instead of feeling miserable *and* unloveable. I guess the ranking's attractive guy > average/ugly guy > attractive girl > average/ugly girl. I couldn't pass for shit so all dressing like a boy did was make me look ugly, which made me feel worse about being trapped in girlmode.

Eventually I realised T could put me into "average guy" tier, but it took a while. If I was remotely passing without hormones I could probably have repressed for longer, perhaps indefinitely with the right partner.

>>8824307
This tbdesu

>>8824449
How did it feel making yourself into what you were attracted to?

>>8824289
>>8824289
None of the above. I coped by absolutely rejecting reality and hiding away on the pc, books and music.

I was trying to be manliest of men. And I'm agp

>(By the way, I'm not *that* surveyanon, just a random curious anon.).

This is how Survey Anon disguises his presence now that he knows people will intentionally submit false answers to his shit.

Not going to save you. Enjoy noise in your shitty uplifted anecdotal *chan "evidence".

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I just tried really hard not to think about how I looked. I shied away from mirrors and pretty much wore nothing but a t-shirt, jeans, and a hoodie every day.

It's actually sort of nice being proud of how I look, for once.

>>8824484
I wasn't self-aware enough to think about it that way at the time, I just thought of it as "looking good" or "looking cute" and focused on putting interesting or fashionable outfits together. Sometimes I felt like I was absolutely wearing a costume, but wearing masculine clothes made me feel even more like I was in costume, and I managed to find a middle ground of feminine stuff I felt sort of comfortable in. I ended up getting pretty heavily into fashion, which was a good way to start conversations with other girls, but it was a bit of a double-edged sword because the more aware I got of style basics like fit and cut, the more noticeable how ill-fitting mens' clothes were on me became. Even minor stuff like a jacket being cut a few inches too wide in the shoulders would instantly jump out to me, whereas normie friends wouldn't really notice something like that (I suppose their subconscious would take in that it didn't look masculine, but they wouldn't be able to put why into words).

>>8824562
But you knew you liked girls then? So however self-aware you were that you were dealing with your dysphoria, you were still making yourself into what you were attracted to but didn't want to be. That's the unusual part of your situation and why I wondered what it's like.

Firstly in high school I tried aggresive masculinity, like cargo pants, leather jacket, shaved head, drinking sorrows away and being angry at everything, but I couldn't maintain. Luckily, I'm smart though, and in college I focused at academics and various other activities which lead me to quite succes, popularity (good drinker and always for a song) and I asumed like refined masculinity which worked for a few more years despite rising dysphoria

>>8824591
Yeah, I knew I liked girls. I didn't set out with the intention of "making myself what I was attracted to", at first I was just trying to get healthy because I'd got down to an extremely low weight and it was causing me actual health issues (stress-induced appetite loss, not deliberate, but avoided gaining back for like 3 years because I liked looking more boyish). While I was still in the first stages of recovery I still didn't look good enough for attraction to myself to kick in, but gradually after eating better and taking care of myself it's like, oh, hey, I actually have quite a cute face when my cheeks aren't sunken in, oh, I have an hourglass figure when I don't starve my tits down to nothing, and since I (luckily) wasn't super dysphoric at the time when I first gained that weight, having those features come back wasn't as traumatic as it could have been.

I started just generally trying to dress "better", but the more awareness of fashion I got, the more I realised that wearing guys' clothes didn't make me look like a guy. When I wasn't paying attention to my appearance I used to default to T-shirts, but at this point I realised they were more form-fitting than most trendy clothes and actually emphasised my curves more, so I stopped wearing them as much. I guess you could say I started dressing more girly but less sexy. I had to replace all my old clothes as I gained weight anyway, and eventually I ended up just not really owning any masculine things. Once I was dressing girly nearly all the time I got attached to it, and that's when I got more self-aware about it. I consciously realised that part of why I'd felt good about myself again was just that I was attracted to myself (and therefore able to understand other people being attracted to me) and I didn't want to change back.

>>8824398
Ftm here. I overcompensated as well. Partially for the same reason as you, but also so my mother would leave me alone. We would get into huge fights whenever I did anything that was boyish.

>>8825108
What did she consider boyish?

>>8825183
Short hair, baggy shirts, any type of cargo pants or shorts. Basically anything that wasn't form fitting or frilly.

>>8824874
>I consciously realised that part of why I'd felt good about myself again was just that I was attracted to myself (and therefore able to understand other people being attracted to me) and I didn't want to change back.
How did that square with the dysphoria you did have at the time and other trans feelings?

And with the fact that the attractive female you were seeing in the mirror wasn't a different person, like a friend you might crush on or a photo you might fantasize about, but was yourself?

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Interesting results so far; from how popular the femboy threads on here are I'm surprised only a few people picked that option.

>>8829061
What exactly does the middle ground answer mean?

>>8824289
Why is there no "give up on life and lie in bed all day hating yourself" option?

>t. will spend my whole life repressing because social anxiety trumps gender dysphoria

>>8824289
Why can I only choose one option?
What should I choose if I did equal parts of all of them?

>>8832577
Also nothing helped doesn't fit since I'm not extremely dysphoric and didn't transition yet and my dysphoria levels can be sort of controlled by how I frame my story/identify internally (which doesn't necessarily correlate with phases of behavior in the options)

And felt fine didn't apply cause I didn't feel fine

Idk it's phrased weird