What the fuck is wrong with me

Same
I started hormones at 24 after getting depressed enough over it and present as a slightly andro male

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>>8780979
How do you deal with the changes in your social life and with your family?

>>8781226
I never came out to anyone and was pretty andro to begin with but everyone seems to be taking it well
I'm happier than I used to be and I think they can maybe tell why

>>8780943
Are you me?

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>>8780943
Could I fool someone from a distance? No HRT

>>8780943
You're non-binary, or a gender non-conforming girl.

>>8780943
>Want to LOOK like a girl
>Get jealous of girls wearing female clothes and constantly look at them and wish i had a feminine body to wear them
Sounds like textbook mental illness to me. Next.

>>8781894
???

>>8781247
Do you expect to transition in the future? How do you hide boobs?

>>8781873
But i'm not a girl...

>>8781894
What does this even mean?

>>8781808
You know the pain? :'/ i wish i knew what to do. As much as hrt will fuck up my life, sometimes i have difficult to sleep thinking about how i'll look after 20.

Hmmm same.

I feel disgusted by this IRL, but i constantly look at what other girls are wearing and hope i could be a girl to wear those things too. I spend hours browsing online clothing shops and fantasy about girls dressing me up with their clothes.

But even if i go on hrt, i wouldn't wear girl clothes unless in private: I don't plan to live as a girl and i don't think i would pass.

>>8781821
>nose
>browbone

>>8780943
Same. But I dislike both male and female gender roles. Also I am on HRT now.

>>8782526
How old r u

>>8780979
This would be nice. I just don't know how to deal with the shame...

>>8781821
You look like a pretty girl to me

>>8780943
It's gender dysphoria, get on HRT or at least blockers before it gets worse

>>8782454
Are you me? I always want to see what girls are wearing and hope it was me...

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>>8780943
faggot

agp

>>8780943
i feel you op, and my body is never going to really pass,
just going to be a fem guy


>>8781821
is your body within fem ranges? face passable

Im the exact same way, like literally not a single thing in that message that I don't agree with.

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I feel the same and it sucks. I'm considering hrt but idk...

I'm kind of interested in boobs if they're A cups at max. This way i can just carry on with life and say "fuck it" when i'm interacting with people. It's like if i didn't had a leg or had an enormous scar in my face, something unnusual/strange but not something people will ask about. It's hot as hell here but hoodies are the way to go. However i'm somewhat chubby with some gyno (working towards losing weight) and i fear boobs would grow too much...

I'm in college during the night, so it's easier to hide changes with hoodies etc. BUT still, i'm scared of hrt effects. Its a strange feeling, i can't explain exactly why i'm not doing hrt, but i get a strong sense of "i shouldn't do that".

I'm 18. And as i'm typing, body hair is starting to show up in some areas that were clear before. This is my main concern and things will get pretty bad soon. Hips are my second concern, maybe its too late to change something but i'd like hips even if they grow 1cm. MPB is my third concern, sometimes i feel like Finasteride isn't working. And for last, losing the few feminine features i have and growing taller. I'm 5'7 now but i feel like i've been growing even further.

Someone in the same situation wants to talk about this or/and, maybe, in an extreme situation, make a skittles pact and do it together? Maybe with a friend, it would be easier to do it... i mean, having someone to share experiences and talk about what happened during the day, and understand each other...

>>8781821
i know you from facebook
work your voice and you pass

Talk to a gender therapist.

I was in the exactly same position as you. Now i'm 1year hrt

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>>8780943
I'm in a similar situation but i'm not going to do it due to my friends.

I really like them, they really like me, we've been friends since 6yo or earlier and i don't want to lose them. I want to keep going out with them, driving a car and drinking in a bar. Going to parties and brag about how many girls we've been with (Actually i don't like girls nor boys, i'm assexual, so i'm always the friend that gets too drunk and "can't hold a conversation with girls", which it's just an excuse for not having to force myself to kiss a girl but still hang out with them)

I don't want to lose this. They'll not accept me, i'm considered a chill but serious "guy". I can't show up someday with smooth skin, boobs, (even) longer hair and tell them i didn't change at all.

This would be easy during the first 1 or 2 years. But it gets harder to hide. Not counting my family ofc. It Does make me sad. But social interactions cover this. The only worry i have is "what if i regret it later"? My body is masculinizing and someday i'll have 0 chance to be cute.

But at the same time i think that's just a phase and hrt is a big mistake.

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>>8780943
Same but reverse
I want to be male but the female gender role is so much better
I don't even have a social life but I like having the opportunity

>>8787962
Also can't stand commitment/situations I can't easily get out of to the point it's fucking me up

>>8787962
It's easier if you're a girl, just be a butch woman

>>8783520
>>8784113
>>8784812
do you plan to go on hr tho?

Could it be that you're just a tomboy/generally gender nonconforming girl?

>>8789865
I don't think so, i'm not a girl

Is it possible to be a MtF that is a tomboy (unintentionally)? Like how would this person be actually trans and not just a confused guy?

>>8790208
Of course it is! Cis girls can be tomboys, so why wouldn't trans girls be able to be? Gender identity is not gender expression.

>>8791193
BC mtfs (should) want to desperately run from male features/expressions?

>>8791439
That's a bit of a silly, old fashioned mindset. It goes to the idea that being a woman is about being feminine, which it clearly isn't. It gets pushed onto trans people still because society holds a view that we aren't what we're transitioning into- mtfs aren't *really* women, ftms aren't *really* men.

The truth of the situation is that they are, though. MtFs are women, and like all women, they can like some stereotypically masculine things.

If you take trans women as being really women, then it makes no sense to say "they should want to desperately run from male features/expressions". The truth is that they're who they are- maybe they're a bit masculine, maybe a bit feminine. That's not the point, and that's not what we're running to or from. We're running from being masculine or feminine _men_, and to being masculine or feminine _women_.

Masculinity isn't necessarily the problem, it's the whole man bit that is.

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OP here, thanks for the answers, i feel the same as most of you but i'm still considering it. Today i kind of "came out" to my friend.

>Tell my only, best and deep friend i want to unironically "become a trap" (the only way i had to explain it without saying "becoming a girl" which isn't true)
>He takes it as a joke as we always do
>Tell him i'm REALLY considering it
>We have a long talk
>He tells me he's going to be my friend doesn't matter what, but he would rather see me as a qt trap than as a flamboyant faggot.
>Tell him i'm doing this to feel better with my body and not to have sex with anyone but he shouldn't worry because i find men disgusting and if i ever have sex with someone, its not going to be a man. As for being a flamboyant thing, i'm very serious and shy so i won't EVER be some screaming thing with green dyed hair
>Ask him what he thinks about my situation, explains about OCD/BDD/Anxiety
>He tells me maybe i'm a metrossexual and my anxiety makes the idea of aging even worse. It makes sense.
>Tells me he supports me and that i should think about it deeply. Tells me he's KIND OF metrossexual and he did some things in the past and don't regret it bc he felt better with his body.
>Ask him if he thinks hrt is a dumb step
>He don't really know hrt and we're both really tired so he tells me to explain this tomorrow.

Maybe he helps me figure out. I still can't believe i'm talking to someone else about this, feels like a huge step... And it feels comfy because "metrossexual" is acceptable here so if i figure out i shouldn'd do hrt, he'll just forget this.

Ofc i could only do this because he's +2000km away from me right now. I hope i figure this out before he comes back in the next year. Feels good but VERY STRANGE to have my "masculine, opressive and dominant" fake figure broken before the person that knows me the most.

>>8789856
Im 6months hrt, but i don't expect to ever pass. Its okay to be an androgynous guy...

>>8794220
But how to deal with tits and health problems tho?

>>8792277
He sounds like boyfriend material anon.

>>8795669
He does... but he's straight asf. Also i'm not really attracted to men...

>>8794220
I double this >>8795638

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Bump because im in the same position as op and i need an answer

>>8797261
girl hips, boy tits, what's going on?!

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>>8797261

Iv started HRT but Im going to stop at some point to look more like femboi and not a woman cause I cant transition (and Im not sure I want to)

I was on the fence for long time but Ive become very depressed over my appearance. If you dont feel dysphoric then dont mess with hormones.
Staying in boymode is easier than transitioning for most people. Social norms in 1st world cities are fairly lax so you can be a feminine guy without any troubles.

>>8797323
You draw a girl and call it a boiii

>>8797354
But is it possible to stay in boymode? Sometimes i feel like i would end as a strange andro thing leaning to female and it would be hard to deal with the situation.

After you stop, how you're going to deal with T effects?