It's been too long let's have a confession thread

I'm ftm and I don't have dysphoria.

>>8760753
a) why transition, b) what's transition like without dysphoria?

I didn't used to have anything against straight cis white men, until they started harassing me for apparently trying to "oppress" them by taking hormones, suddenly, post-gamergate.
Now I do. You're annoying, obnoxious, and stick your dick in where it doesn't belong constantly. You're like furries but worse.

I dated only 1 girl in highschool and then grew up to be exactly like an adult verion of her. I'm 99% sure that I'm AGP but I don't want to admit it to myself or my boyfriend.

>>8760822
and then whenever you show offense to anything they say, they take it as proof of whatever bullshit they had in mind in the first place.

More than half the suicide rate is caused by a hostile environment.
So it's like
>shitheads are awful to trans people
>trans person commits suicide
>"see, look at that suicide rate! This is proof that they're fucked up and that our concern trolling is actually good"

>>8760822
>You're annoying, obnoxious, and stick your dick in where it doesn't belong constantly. You're like furries but worse.
You're thinking of SJWs.

>>8760855
No I'm thinking of you.

>>8760872
I'm not a man though.

>>8760886
Well, if they can make an uncle tom president.

>>8760895
wut

>>8760836
how are you an adult version of her?

>I'm 99% sure that I'm AGP but I don't want to admit it to myself or my boyfriend.
that sounds like admitting it to me and why not anyway?

Im sexually identify as a pervert

>>8760836

Being gay should rule out being AGP.

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I'm too big, ugly and masculine to deserve a cute femboy, so I fap to furries because I know it's something nobody can have

>Fell hard for Ash Hardell.
>Her and her wife seem like cool and nice people.
>Know you'll never be with her but that's cool I guess.
>Realize that you'll never meet anyone like her.
>Want to have a life and meet new people, but your anxiety is crippling and people treat you like an autist.
>Always tired and feeling like crap.
>Conversations leave me feeling incredibly anxious and vulnerable.

I barely remember what it feels like to have actual friends, or to have fun in a social setting without it being blotted out by a wave of anxiety.

>>8760811
I don't plan on "transitioning" aside from getting top surgery so I can go to the beach shirtless and never have to worry about a binder. I'm already freakishly tall with a fridge-like build and deep voice, and since I'm not interested in body/facial hair, rough smelly skin and potential baldness, there's no need to take testosterone. I'm fine the way I am.

>>8760747
I've been obsessed with dick lately and just want to suck all of them. I keep fantasizing about being forced to do it.

>>8760972
I look and act almost exactly like her.

>>8760980
she's probably trans and either way agps can like guys.

>>8761167
look and act like her in what ways?

I think cis people appropriating pronoun statements is harmful to closeted trans people.

Being misgendered by other people is bad enough even though it's not their fault but I draw the fuckin line at being pressured into misgendering myself.

>>8760747
Im a trans girl with a partner who claims they are an enby but acts like an FtM. One of their arguments for not starting testosterone is they don't want facial hair, but they've fantasized about having a beard before. They get triggered whenever the topic of them not having a dick comes up. Finally, they're afraid of being a bro.

I'm beginning to think they're more comfortable being a trender than growing up because they refuse to resolve any of their issues.

>>8761237
Not to mention they want a hysterectomy and to quote "if I ever got breast cancer is ask for a mastectomy" and oftentimes they're dysphoric if I touch their nipples.

What should I do?

>>8760822
Bate.

>>8760747
I truly believe I am going to be single forever. I'm only 19 but I have not experienced romance with anyone and as far as I know nobody has had feelings for me. Maybe it's just me because I have difficulty connecting to people because I'm afraid it'll go to waste and I'm private (INFJ probs), but I think I'm meant to be single for all time until new ash covers the earth :). It also doesnt help that entering a relationship or even a friendship when youre not cis is stressful and comes with judgment so it's a lot easier to chill at home where I am invincible

>>8761237
why is it always closeted ftms who call themselves enby and never mtfs?

>>8761289
Same anon, but my hypothesis is:

People with male socialization are more likely to take risks, FtM's tend to be excluded by lesbians, and women can get away with it.

I'm constantly extremely jealous of gay guys for how much easy sex they get. I wish I could have that kind of life.

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>>8760747
i luv traps

>>8761318
>and women can get away with it.
;_;

>>8761187
Same hairstyle, same types of glasses. Similar wardrobe, similar behaviours and patterns of speech.

>>8761636
Who the fuck is this ugly bald guy that keeps getting posted on this board?

>>8761861
deliberately?

>>8761196

Like, I get what they're trying to do- they're trying to make it a normalized thing so it wouldn't seem weird if someone did decide to use their pronouns even if it doesn't match their appearance

but the reality is most people aren't gonna do that. It's way too easy to get hurt if everybody knows that you're trans, so like you said, it just leads to self misgendering or risking danger. For cis people or passing trans people doing it, there's no real harm- they look like what you'd expect from their pronouns.

I'd much rather be misgendered by someone else and just ignore it than have to do it to myself

>>8761247
Well, there isn't a huge amount you can really do- trying to pressure someone into a gender role isn't fun, especially if it's coming from another trans person, because they know how it feels first hand.

The most you can really do is just support them, and maybe offer your input. If they talk about wanting a mastectomy if they got cancer, you might say something like "if it's something that's bothering you, we can make it a goal to work towards" or something like that.

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im a lesbian khv and in the past i've lied and said its because i was closeted until recently but really i've been "out" since i was 14. im just socially retarded and never was able to date. its still what i plan to stick with as my story though if i ever do get a gf and need to explain why im 25 with absolutely no experience.

>>8761267
You might try to go to some LGBT groups if there are any nearby- there's a lot less judgement about being cis, the people tend to be very accepting, and it's a good way to get some social practicing in. Plus, you might even find someone you like there

>>8761318

Another thing could be that it's more widely accepted for people who society takes to be female to explore their gender a bit more, leading to a wider variety of outcomes.

>>8761984
does your first name begin with v?

>>8762053
nope, A. do you know a V thats in the same boat?

>>8762116
no, i think she's straight.

>>8762188
And by she, you mean he?

>>8762215
?

>>8761632
>how much easy sex they get.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Seriously where did this meme came from because none of the gays I know (and I know a lot) can't ever get laid, getting turned down over the most trivial of reasons.

>>8762246
/r9k/ forgets that normal people have standards

>>8762246
I see people talk about it on here.

All the gay guys I know IRL talk about their grindr hookups.

Sure it's not like it's on tap unless you're very handsome, but it's a lot more on-tap than it is for virtually any other sexuality.

>>8761972
>>8761196
I never thought of this before but it's a really good point.

I've been in love with a girl for like 3 years now and even through 6 relationships I still think of her everyday

>>8761884
I didn't deliberately copy her but I just looked in the mirror one day and thought "Don't I look like that one girl I dated..." And then realized that I'm actually alot like she was and then got weirded out.

>>8762606
what's wrong with being agp tho?

>>8760747
>confession
I have been trying with various levels of success to incite hatred against straighties on this board.
They're pure scum and they do not deserve a place here.

>>8762655
I don't know. I'm just not comfortable with the idea of it.

>>8762706
maybe your bf will understand and comfort you until you're more comfortable about it?

>>8762756
Sexuality has always been a sore spot for me because I never really had normal heterosexual attraction or a healthy sexual psyche for as long as I can remember. At first I thought that I was attracted to women, but later I realized that what I thought was sexual attraction was actually admiration and sometimes jealousy. When I actually had the chance to have sex with women I realized that I don't really want to. Even the thought of penetrating someone seems so foreign to me and I just didn't want to do it. I went from there looking for girls who only had interest in pegging and generally fufiling masculine gender roles in a relationship but even then I never had much interest in sex itself but instead used sex as a way to affirm to myself "at least I'm not some manly man or anything. No homo" The idea of being a guy was just repulsive to me until I eventually transitioned. But even now sex is so strange for me. I don't really care about sex itself. It's all about the affirmation of "Yes you are a woman and your boyfriend still finds you attractive." I feel like I have a problem and I'm really ashamed of my sex drove because it has nothing to do with orgasms and everything to do with trying to prove to myself that I'm a real woman, which makes me feel very insecure and dirty.

>>8763688
you totes agp girl, don't be ashamed, it's just a different kind of love.

>>8763831
It's the wrong kind of love! AGP are just men pretending to be women! How can I live with myself if that's all I really am?!

>>8763861
tell that to the feelings of affirmation you get from your meta-attraction.

it's the best kind of love!

>>8763872
Nothing makes me happier than being held by my boyfriend and called his beautiful treasured girl but I can't be ok with it if I'm just a weird fetishist man!

>>8760747
i have severe genital dysphoria despite identifying as a cis woman. i want to take a chainsaw to my vagina at least a few times per day. i wish FTM bottom surgery was better so i could hop on that train-- or that i was born intersex at least. it's horrible and i hate it. because those people have their own struggles to deal with.

>>8762246
Maybe you're just not that attractive. Unless you're cocoon mode, as a moderately attractive gay male you can get laid constantly

>>8764414
I'm the opposite. I'm a trans woman and I've got massive body dysphoria but seemingly little to no genital dysphoria. My dick just doesnt really bother me. Of course when i admit this i instantly get put on the AGP list by other trans people...
i wonder how many trans girls fake having genital dysphoria to appease the Council of Sisters™ and be accepted as trutrans.

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>>8764467

It took me transitioning and starting a relationship with a cis les woman to realize that I was actually just a really confused and vain gay dude all along.

But it's too late now and me and my gf are gonna get married and I will likely be a woman forever now. It's not too bad I guess.

im a bi 20 y/o guy who prefers trans women bc it's the best of both worlds in bed. I feel like im a terrible person

Im 31 yo bisex male virgin. Will likely never an hero.

>>8764474
This seems almost meaningless if it's lumping FtMs and MtFs together. Like, is a lack of breasts the MOST dysphoric area for most MtFs? I suspect that's FtMs inflating that number, so what's the real percentage for MtFs?

Should be two separate polls. That would really give us an idea who is most bothered by what.

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>>8760822
True.

On the other hand, they (we, since I'm betting you don't actually distinguish between gay and straight on this issue) are one of the largest groups of people in the world. Massively influential, pandered to by every market and demographic, and in a far stronger position in every measurable way.

You are one of the smallest, least important, most fragile groups on the planet, who need constant protection and reassurance just so you don't kill yourselves.

See pic related, it pretty well sums up our relationship.

>>8760747
I'm bisexual male with very little experience with males, all relationships with men I've been in have been shitty (sometimes my fault sometimes theirs). I'm pretty sure I'll never be with a man again ever. I still consider myself bi

>>8761023
are you a top?
im sure there are tons of cute femboy out there that are into bears

Im barely gay, I fap to fat people and I dont know why only chubs turn me on
I fluctuate between men and women constantly yet I tell everyone im gay because I think women are practically retarded (they are not but I cant help feeling this way)

I cant love people that love me back, it makes me feel disgusted.
im seeing a guy thats the perfect match for me (we are really similar) but I cant stand him and he is getting more annoying by the minute
I never think about him or miss him

I want to be left alone but I resent being lonely

and somehow im the happiest ive ever been

I wish my best friend was in love with me but I don't actually have romantic feelings for them, I just want to monopolize their time and attention since they're just about the only person I've been able to get along with in the past 10 years.

>>8765322
I can relate.

>>8765322
So same, I wish he was gay too

>>8762688
that's because you're ravenous for big thick straightie dick, you slut

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>>8762688
>people like this exist

>>8761267
I was in your exact situation anon. Same age, trans, inability to connect to people, and a pervasive belief that I'll never be in a relationship that I had since at least age 14.

I lucked out and somehow found a great boyfriend anyways, though. Have hope anon.

>>8764518
Dont feel ashamed, it IS the best of both worlds if you like peen, no? Girlbodies are beautiful and sexy compared to male ones, and if you slap a peen on that, and the person is okay with it, then whats there not to like?

>>8764366
>but I can't be ok with it if I'm just a weird fetishist man!
ffs why not?

Bump a rumm

>>8760747
I identify as a gay male but I've met many girls in my life that I want to fuck and/or impregnate. The attraction I have for women is different to that of men, and less common, but it's there.

I've been in a relationship with a man for 3 years and it's becoming empty. I don't believe in gay marriage, I don't want to adopt somebody else's ugly and/or neuroitc kid and I wouldn't want my kids to have either no mother or 2 homes.

I want to fuck a petite blonde, have her beautiful babies, take care of her and be the man of the house. I want to come home to smiling kids and a gorgeous wife who understands my history and wants my cock every night in spite of that.

I came out as bi when I was a kid and there was one girl I had my eyes on. My mother thought I was "bi" to be trendy (lol) and things got awkward with the girl because by the time we got physical I'd already started to identify as "gay" and I just felt kinda dishonest.

Since then I've been saying I'm gay to avoid having to interact with common straight men who want to talk about football.

>>8769329
>internalized homophobia: the post

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Dream is to have a masc bf in the military to love me.

>>8769354
dream is to be a cis girl and have a straight be in the military to love me and be his military wife

>>8769368
>cis
Just be a fem boy. I have accepted this awful truth, and so should you.

>>8769373
but then i'm gay and my bf isn't straight!

>>8769378
Not if you live a lie and pretend you can't do vaginal.

>>8769388
i guess that will have to do.

I am a lesbian. I am in an LDR. I am not very sexually attracted to my girlfriend.

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>>8760747
I want to be a trans woman so I can adopt kids, and be the mommy I was meant to be.

I'mma bit of a freak for thinking this...

I hate my boyfriend, and if he didn't have panic attacks and rage out bursts I would have left long ago. Scared how he would react to me leaving. I just want this to end. I don't want him, I want to date someone other than him. Someone who isn't emtionally unstable. Honestly needs someone better who can deal with his shit. Just imagine texting a friend have your phone ripped from hands and your boyfriend yelling at you thinking you're cheating and talking to other guys. I fear that one of these days he's going to hurt me. God help me.

>>8769398
Do you love her though? :3

ive been thinking about detransitioning more and more lately

>>8769751
why? why did you transition?

>>8769759
i had terrible dysphoria and at first it made me happy but now im almost a year on hrt and just want to go back

>>8769347
>Not knowing you weren't "Born This Way": The bitter reaction

>>8763688
No way, are you me?
I've been having the same thoughts over and over about this
>I realized that what I thought was sexual attraction was actually admiration and sometimes jealousy.
I haven't started hrt but only because I didn't know if maybe I just wanted to be beautiful, regardless of gender

>>8764509
You will live like a queen, enjoy the ride

In my efforts to become more feminine I became anorexic

>>8769329
>The attraction I have for women is different to that of men, and less common, but it's there.
What's the difference between the two attractions?

>>8771168
good for you.
food, like testosterone, is poison

I'm a trans girl and have a massive fetish for trans people and honestly can't imagine dating a cis person

>>8771273
I like your style

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>>8771282

I somehow never heard about HRT when I was 15-18 so I repressed for over a decade or afterward based on "I could never deal with the 'crossdress for a year and then have surgery'" process I thought was required.

>>8765284
I'm mostly a top. It doesn't seem right, though, to subject their beauty with my rough and ugly masculinity, when they're obviously trying to get away from things that remind them of straight dudebros.