Best way to kill myself with common house hold items. I am a

>>8750338
Don't. There's always hope. You can make it.

Why do you want to kill yourself?

>>8750342
I don't want to anymore

>>8750349
Too hard, I'm tired.

>>8750349
to make more sense, I've been raped, my family hates me and I am tired of trying to fight this uphill battle with transness. Idc if it's controllable or not, I just want it to end.

>>8750361
Most people who experience suicidal ideations go on to regret it and lead happy lives. Don't be rash. Wait it out. You'll probably feel better later on.

>>8750364

I'm sorry to hear that. But how exactly is any of that your fault? What would killing yourself resolve?

How long have you been fighting the uphill battle? How far along are you, and what are your hurdles?

>>8750384
I fdon't think there is a probably about it, but I'm tired of feeling like this. It's everyday thing.

>>8750388
Fault is hard for me, I feel like I could have stopped being raped, but everyone says I couldn't because I was too young to understand. It's not like I did it on purpose, but if I made a different choice I would have. Killing myself solves all problems.

My entire life I've been fighting and abusive mother who is a jehovah's witness, and I am not able to take hormones because of a long story I don't want to get into that I was trying to fix, but I'm tired now.

>>8750398
You don't have to stay in contact with your mother, or your family, or anyone who hurt you. You can start anew. You can still turn things around. Please don't hurt yourself.

>and I am not able to take hormones because of a long story I don't want to get into
Not able to as in medically?

>>8750410
It's a long story and not worth your time, I just wanted to know the easiest most sure fire way of ending my life.

>>8750398

>Fault is hard for me, I feel like I could have stopped being raped, but everyone says I couldn't because I was too young to understand. It's not like I did it on purpose, but if I made a different choice I would have.

And if I had made different choices, I might be the president. Or homeless.

The thing is, you had absolutely no way to predict that the choices you made at the time would result in you getting raped. Nobody ever chooses to get raped. I don't understand how an event like that could be your fault at all. You just happened to be a victim of bad circumstances.

>Killing myself solves all problems.

Not really. It's the equivalent of burning your math homework rather than trying to solve it.

Anyone can solve their math homework with the right tutor. Likewise, I think you could resolve some of your problems with the right help.

>My entire life I've been fighting and abusive mother who is a jehovah's witness, and I am not able to take hormones because of a long story I don't want to get into that I was trying to fix, but I'm tired now.

Religious abuse is a common theme among LGBT youth (and even non-LGBT youth). It's disgusting that it happens, but again, why are you taking the blame for your abusive mother's behavior?

>>8750426
Are you literally medically not able to or not?

>>8750442
I'm medically able to, but gorwing up and being indoctrinated has put me in a situation where I am still living with my parents, and it wasn't until college when I realized I was having anxiety attacks near constantly and tried to get help, but I was working on moving out so I could, but now I don't think it's worth it.

>>8750434
The difference is this is the last "homework" I have to burn.

>>8750384
Pretty flawed argument as you don't hear from those successful suicides who could have failed and gone on to have shitty lives they continue to hate

>>8750453

And why do you "have" to burn it?

>>8750453
I should clearify again, I was going to live with them until I finsihed my degree, but eventually the stress got too much and I tried to get help and said everything that was on my mind, but like I said it's complicated and I don't know if I'm even making sense.

>>8750453
>I'm medically able to, but gorwing up and being indoctrinated has put me in a situation where I am still living with my parents, and it wasn't until college when I realized I was having anxiety attacks near constantly and tried to get help, but I was working on moving out so I could, but now I don't think it's worth it.
Why not? Why can't you leave those bastards behind and start now?

>>8750338
you aren't even drunk if 15 minutes is enough for you to sober up

I think I may understand how you feel to an extent. If I were to do it, I would drop a toaster in a bathtub full of soapy water. I would encourage you not to though. I try to leave my thoughts of suicide as just that, thoughts. Think of it this way, if you're already at rock bottom, then the only way is up.

>>8750462
Why not?

>>8750465
I was planning on doing that, but it's easier said then done when going for a degree in engineering you have little opportunity to work, so my last slave wage job and I parted ways because they were mad I could only work awhile ago.

>>8750469
I am weird. I can get drunk on a couple of beers, really drunk, but don't stay drunk for long no matter what I drink. 151 used to be my drink of choice but I would still be sober enough to drive two hours after taking 8 shots of it.

>>8750474

>Why not?

Well, really, the onus is on you to demonstrate to me why killing yourself might be a good idea. You're the one who originally proposed suicide as an answer.

Nonetheless, I'll tell you why I think it's a bad answer.

You are almost certainly suffering from some form of depression/anxiety/PTSD as a consequence of growing up under what sound like extremely, consistently abusive circumstances.

Sadly, there are millions like you, and many of them come to the point of contemplating suicide just as you are now (and as I'm sure you're done before). I used to have the same thoughts myself. They're very common in this corner of the internet, especially.

But the fields of medicine and psychology have repeatedly demonstrated even that cases of mental anguish as severe as yours are capable of being fixed. It's not necessarily easy to fix, but it potentially can be fixed. There's no shortage of success stories.

Furthermore, you flatly admitted to being intoxicated. Alcohol obviously loosens your inhibitions and changes your thinking patterns. The fact that you came to conclusion of suicide being the answer while drunk only serves as further evidence that your reasoning is flawed.

Do you drink or consume other drugs often?

>>8750497
I don't think suicide in an answer necessarily, just a means to an end that will stop the endless nightmares and hate I feel inside myself.

I was diagnosed with all 3, depression/anxiety/PTSD but they are almost impossible to escape.

I have attempted suicide before, multiple times, but a few of them I didn't understand how hard they were such as drowning myself and the closest I ever got to killing myself was when I ate 7 sleeping pills but I threw them up.

I purposely stay away from drugs because I am really addicted to nicotine and I know how hard it is to quit. I used to smoke weed once every year or so.

unfortunately I'm sobering up now, so I don't think there is a point to this thread anymore.

>>8750515
>just a means to an end that will stop the endless nightmares and hate I feel inside myself.

The point I'm making is that there exists a healthier alternative, but it's a long-term commitment. You should seriously find yourself a mental health specialist, preferably one who specializes in sexual abuse. Heck, call a rape crisis center - they don't care when the assault took place, they'll try to help you regardless.

>I was diagnosed with all 3, depression/anxiety/PTSD

I wish I had been wrong about those assumptions, but this proves my point. You're simply not capable of thinking about yourself or your situation objectively when you're suffering from such a severe combination of mental illnesses.

>but they are almost impossible to escape.

This is factually incorrect. When was the last time you made a legitimate attempt to seek help?

>I have attempted suicide before, multiple times, but a few of them I didn't understand how hard they were such as drowning myself and the closest I ever got to killing myself was when I ate 7 sleeping pills but I threw them up.

Well at least now you'r aware that as easy as the human body is to disable, it's actually quite difficult to kill. At least, it's hard to kill quickly and easily.

What if one of your suicide attempts had left you permanently disabled, but alive? You would have accomplished nothing except to make your situation objectively worse. Why do you insist on continuing to try when that risk of severe permanent disability is so high?

>unfortunately I'm sobering up now, so I don't think there is a point to this thread anymore.

So in other words, now that you're in a better state of mind, suicide no longer seems attractive. I'm glad you seem to get my point about alcohol, too.

There are ways to greatly enhance your state of mind so that suicide hopefully never seems like a sane idea to you again. It begins with taking the necessary steps to get professional help to undo damage caused by a life of trauma.

>>8750537
Thanks for taking the time to talk to me whoever you are, I am currently in therapy but it doesn't instantly fix all problems and I am able to manipulate the situations I am in because I have had to since I was younger in order to get through what I did, so even when contemplating suicide I don't mention it and actively put up road blocks and act like someone who isn't experiencing it because I want to avoid being institutionalized. I am going on medication in a week now, it just took some time to get me in to get blood work and other things required to start taking it.

I'm sorry I wasted your time still, so please accept allow me to apologize for that.

>>8750497
I also don't consume any drug but nicotine very often.

>>8750338
I tried using sleeping pills yesterday. I took about 20 of them. I didn't die but instead just slipped in and out of consciousness all day and then woke up later that night. If you're going to use sleeping pills, then take the whole bottle and mix them with alcohol, otherwise you don't get a deep enough sleep for respiratory shutdown.

>>8750364

I'm all of those except I'm not trans. Must be hard as fuck. damn, you really gotta push through all that shit. I know it's worthless on an anonymous message board but please don't do it.

>>8750338
Please don't hurt yourself.

>>8751210
Yeah I slept for like 14 hours, woke up, got water, and fell back asleep for another 8.

>>8751229
Were you abused by family as well? Just curious, feel like everything was stacked against me from the start.

>>8751210
Also accidentally posted my previous message before saying this. It might be better to get institutionalized than kill yourself. I am not making a guarantee it will because I don't know, but it might work it's not something I've tried before and I don't have anything to lose and it sounds like you don't either. If it doesn't work out you can kill yourself afterwards.

>>8750338
Please don't kill yourself. I know a lot of what your going through is terrible, but you're worth more than that. I promise. I was raped by my father and beaten until I was 19 by my mother for being a lesbian. You are worth so much more than what you've been through. Hell, I never finished college either; dropped out with one class left to my degree. I'm back in my mother's house because I haven't found a job yet. But holding on is important because there are a lot of people out there like you who want the best for you. I'm in your corner, friend. And I hope you'll choose to stick it out.

I really hope that you'll be able to seek support outside of your family, maybe by meeting queer people online, or finding a queer therapist with experience talking to rape survivors. Just remember that you deserve to be helped. You didn't deserve to be raped and it's not your fault. There's so much more that you can get out of life if you keep living it.

>>8750576

Your own self-improvement is my thanks. Nobody deserves to be unhappy by default.

>I am currently in therapy but it doesn't instantly fix all problems

You can't realistically expect it to. It can take years to undo the damage caused by a lifetime of abuse, and to undo the self-destructive thinking habits you've learned in that time.

It's not easy. It almost never is. It's a long-term solution to your problems that's not as swift as suicide is. But it's also a chance at a true, effective solution, unlike simply killing yourself. If indeed some combination of therapy and medication does end up working for you, you will be grateful that none of your suicide attempts ever succeeded. And don't you want to prove to those who tried to oppress you that you're worth something after all? Killing yourself would only make them think that they were right about you all along.

>so even when contemplating suicide I don't mention it and actively put up road blocks and act like someone who isn't experiencing it because I want to avoid being institutionalized

The threat of institutionalization is the most counterproductive element of the field of psych medicine; it actively encourages patients to lie and mislead in order to avoid getting locked up.

In general, I find that if you're strategic in the way you express that suicidal ideation, you won't get thrown in an institution unless you're really on the verge of doing something drastic. Just be careful with that, I guess.

But I am glad to hear that you're getting help. Don't ever apologize for seeking it if you need it. You haven't wasted my time at all.

>>8750579

>I also don't consume any drug but nicotine very often.

Oh, and about this:

>I purposely stay away from drugs because I am really addicted to nicotine and I know how hard it is to quit. I used to smoke weed once every year or so.

It's good that you recognize the addictive potential of drugs, but your use of alcohol in your current state of mind is truly unhealthy, even if you only drink occasionally. If alcohol makes you more suicidal, you should probably not be drinking it at all, unless and until that particular problem is resolved.

Smoking might not alter your state of mind very much, but it isn't exactly helping, either. You should make a serious quitting attempt, although I know how difficult it can be to correct addictive behavior when in a low mood.