What am I???

>>8743264
(2/2?) Because I also like girls a lot. I like my dick from both a practical and sexual standpoint, I'd never want to get rid of it, and hearing horror stories about them shriveling under hormones scares me. Whenever I look at my body in the mirror I have a constant mental battle over whether I wish my shoulders were wider and more muscular or narrower so I could pass easier, and I sometimes look down in the shower and wish I had some small boobs. I like my birth name and don't care about pronouns, but a female friend gave me a feminine nickname as a joke that stuck and it makes me smile and feel cute when she or other friends call me it. I feel like I can relate and talk better with my girl friends than my guy friends, but most of my hobbies (besides maybe drawing) are pretty "masculine"- guns, vidya, hiking, mechanics, etc.
I have a pretty androgynous body. My hips are pretty wide for a dude's and my shoulders aren't very broad, and I'm only 5'7", 6.5" if I'm being honest. I feel like if I took HRT I could pass easily. But all my male cousins had a final growth spurt at 22-25 where they grew 2.5 inches and their shoulders broadened out more, and the thought that I could possibly miss my opportunity and be stuck like that terrifies me, but so does the idea of doing hormones and permanently fucking up my dick and having breasts I don't want.
So what am I? A trans girl? An over reacting femboy? Just a regular bi dude who likes to crossdress a little?
What should I do? T-blockers until I figure out what I want to be? HRT? Get a therapist? Nothing? I worry about the costs of these things, especially with my growing student debt pile even with a part time job.
Please help me out.

>>8743264
>>8743269
You're obviously AGP. AGPs can be happy as trans girls or perhaps as femboys.

Keep exploring your feminine side and wearing female clothes as long as it makes you happy. Choose how you present, whether to use female or male names, etc. A male name and female nickname is fine, and you can change later if you want, regardless of how you present.

It's fine to have masculine hobbies and don't limit yourself in either direction.

Ask /hrtgen/ and /femgen/ for advice on stopping your 20s growth spurt and keeping your dick functioning.

>>8743264
Your school should have free counseling, why not set up an appointment and talk about these things there?
There is nothing wrong with being a boy and wanting to be cute. Do things that make you happy.
If you are torn about whether you'd like hrt, you should read about the possible side effects and talk to a gender therapist about it.

>>8743269
Youre a fetishist

>>8743304
>You're obviously AGP. AGPs can be happy as trans girls or perhaps as femboys.
Can you explain AGP to me better? I'm a bit of a newfag. I spent a bit of time on the SJW side of Tumblr when I was 14-15 but I got tied of it, and my vocabulary is a little rusty and incomplete. I thought this meant fetishizing the idea of having a vagina? But I'm not interested in that.

>It's fine to have masculine hobbies and don't limit yourself in either direction.

Thanks. I don't feel like I'm holding myself back on feminine hobbies, there's really just not much in that direction I'm interested in. Maybe I should draw more often.

>>8743310
Hey /pol/, are you just lashing out because you haven't found yourself a fashy daddy to pound your boihole yet? Don't worry, I'm sure there's a big strong aryan man out there who's looking for you.

>>8743356

My school offers free counselors, but they only do 2-3 free sessions and then they redirect you to a specialized counselor which brings me back to that cost problem I talked about earlier. I'll look into though. I'm kind of afraid to share this with anyone IRL is all. There's a reason I came here instead of even talking to one of my trans friends.

>>8743264
Any more of this pairing?

It never occured to me you could slash memes

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>>8743487
I've got this

>>8743264
Why does it read from right to left?
Are you chinese or arab?

>>8743517
I read so much hentai I didnt notice that

>>8743525
>anglos are the superior race
superior to roaches maybe

>>8743264
>What am I???
>I'm a 19y/o boy
Looks like you answered your own question there bud

>>8743482
>Can you explain AGP to me better?
See this conversation >>8739828 or this thread >>8683288

>I thought this meant fetishizing the idea of having a vagina?
That is a kind of AGP but it's much more than that. It's a generally sexualized, romanticized and idealized desire to be a girl. It doesn't have to be a complete desire, for some it's limited to crossdressing, for others like you having a dick isn't a problem.

>>8743589
So it's not a fetish thing? Or only for some people? I'm getting a lot of conflicting information.

>>8743620
For some people. Some don't experience the sexual side, some experience the sexual side and more. Most trans women are AGP.

>>8743304
Agp isn't real

>>8743620
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanchard%27s_transsexualism_typology

Don't get your info from 4chan.

>>8744803
>Don't get your info from 4chan.
Get it from Wikipedia!

>>8744863
Are you implying 4chan is a more scholarly source than wikipedia? Unless you got a better source

>>8745041
I'm only calling attention to your own biases.

>>8745049
No you arn't. I'm not the person you talked to and I don't know a damn thing about trannies.

Your just being a fucking sheep that thinks the rest of the herd on 4cha bahhing about trannies or fags is a more legitimate than whatever scholarly sources that wiki article has.

If I ever want to learn about trannies I'd trust those people a hell of a lot more than annonymous 4chaners on posters. In fact trusting the 4channers over the experts is a sign that you are mentally crippled. Going on a board filled with people you hate and whining is par for the course for a cripple.

>>8745041
well gee, which one directly quotes the source material, and which one only has the rewrites by people like you?

>>8744799
>>8744803
>>8745090
op here
well now I have no idea what to think

Go to HRTgen and Femgen as has been previously stated, there are hormone regimens that can preserve dick function while keeping test from ravaging you. Regular use also prevents atrophy.

I dunno how to relate to you since I didn't care at all whether I lost dick function, are you sure you dont have culturally acquired castration anxiety?

>>8745735
>are you sure you dont have culturally acquired castration anxiety?
I don't know what that means, but just off a guess, I don't think so. I like having a dick, both from a practical and sexual standpoint.

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>>8745594
I'm >>8743356.
I think you should go to those 2-3 free sessions and tell them what questions and concerns you have and ask them if they know of any resources in the area for trans young adults.
There should be a trans support group for young adults near you. You don't have to know exactly what you are or be on hormones, it's just nice to be able to talk to people who are also questioning their gender identity. It's also very cheap to go to a group. Usually you pay what you can. Five, ten dollars when you go. There's also gender therapists who work on a sliding scale and understand that some young adults don't want to use their parents insurance.
Maybe you can also slowly open up to one or two of your gfs, who you trust, about how your feeling. Just know that very few people can keep a secret so choose carefully.
That's another nice thing about trans groups, is every said in them is confidential, so you don't have your secrets spilled out around campus.
just imo.

>>8745807
I'm just so nervous at the idea of talking to anyone about it. I don't know if there's anyone I can trust and I don't know if the counselor will be try and turn me away from this or even from me being bi. He introduced himself to our class on opening day and he was an old white dude. I know there are always exceptions but I don't know if I could trust him with this info.
And as for my friends I worry they might tell someone. The one I usually trade secrets with before has started drinking a lot lately and shared a mild secret about me, I don't think I can trust her anymore. And I've never been able to super trust any of the others.