Hi guys, I am a heterosexual male, but I have an interest in

>>8742771
ask her on a date and if she says she's a lesbian then be cool about it?

>>8742771
Ask her is she's dating anyone and if she says no ask her about her last relationship.

>>8742771
If you really loved her you'd transition for her.

>>8742771
Tell her you're romantically interested.
"wah wah but that's hard and scary"
Just do it. I've lived through the other side of this when the guy DIDN'T ask and it went HORRIBLY for everyone involved.

>>8742839
Do you have a greentext to share?

I could do that, but I have this idea that I will get a generic 'I am sorry anon but I am not in good terms for a relationship at the moment'.

I want a way to know whether she is or not, not because I want to make sure I treat her in a better way after I have this information. If she says she is legitimately not interested but wants to keep our friendship, then we can keep being friends, otherwise if she says she feels uncomfortable and wants to stop being friends, then I can move on from her. If the reason for the rejection however revolves around her sexuality the situation is different, because she has no choice but being unable to have any interest in me.

This question is one I ask too because I want to be more considerate with the members of your community.

>>8742891
what...

so are you saying if you find out shes lesbians youd rather know that so that you know not to ask, so you avert the risk of making her uncomfortable?

>>8742891
Just give her the chance to reject you. I don't want to greentext but I had a dude who I LEGITIMATELY thought was my friend flip out on me when I told him I wasn't interested and he "stayed as my friend". I started seeing someone else about a year later and he went off. I feel terrible because I miss my friend and feel terrible for disappointing him. I'm also scared of him now because of how he reacted.
Since then, I've stopped hanging out with almost all my male friends, even online, because I'm now convinced the only reason they liked me in the first place was because they wanted in my pants.

>>8742771
put several hidden cameras in her bedroom and monitor them from a strategic endpoint
if you see her eating pussy, you will know she's a dyke

>>8742900
It sounds to me like OP doesn't want to face the possibility of rejection. She might use her sexuality as an excuse, but maybe she's bi and just not interested in HIM romantically but would be OK with him as a friend.
If he's romantically interested, it's better just to admit it, give her a chance to respond, and if she doesn't, move on.

>>8742900
If I know beforehand she's a lesbian, then there is no need for the to undergo the awkward process of finding it out when I am more into her, preventing both of us from having any more issues. This in turn would allow me to see her only as a friend, thus allowing our friendship to fully develop.

This is the best case scenario for both of us I believe.

I might be mistaken about this, so please correct me, but there are some lesbian women who do not openly state they are lesbian because of the taboo involved, so they would rather not tell everyone.

There is also a possibility she's leaning towards becoming a lesbian, but she's also fearful of the rejection that society would impose on her, if this is the case, then I want to know so I can be fully supportive on her transition.

>>8742938
Dude, again, she might be bi. Don't be friend with her if you think the only reason she might not be into you is because she likes girls.
Man up and ask her out or you'll end up in a bad situation.

>>8742920
>I'm now convinced the only reason they liked me in the first place was because they wanted in my pants
You're right. I'm a lesbian and this is exactly how every single one of my friendships with men has ended. Even the ones who went into it knowing I was a lesbian still thought they could get some. Totally not worth the time.
Maybe start hanging out with gay guys?

>>8742925
Yes and no. Yes because rejection's always scary I won't deny that. No because if she's legitimately not interested in me and she's a heterosexual female, I can move on as usually happens with the rest of the females.

However if it turns out like >>8742920
Then it's not her to blame, and thus it's best to stay as friends.

>>8742953
Not worth it anymore. Losing that friendship changed my entire worldview, and I'm not gonna seek out gay men just for the sake of having male friends.

Hell I'd even revise my previous advice to just be: "Don't be friends with someone if you wouldn't be OK with them dating someone who isn't you. Regardless of gender."

>>8742771
I'm gay and I don't support gay rights

>>8742969
Dude, please just ask her out. Don't make someone else go through what I went through. I feel guilty about it to this day. I look at all my interactions with that guy through a new lens now, and I still hear all the horrible things he said in my head whenever I think about it.

>>8742982
Why do you feel guilty if it wasn't your fault?

>>8742993
I feel guilty because he made me feel like it was. Because he said I led him on and that I was a manipulative bitch, and because I genuinely considered him a friend I believed him. It'd be one thing if he were a stranger, but someone I actually laughed with and played games with? It hurts a lot more coming from someone you care about.

>>8742993
because OCD

>>8743012
Don't you think he felt equally miserable, when he realized he had no hope whatsoever with you? Legitimate question.

>>8743012
Plus precisely by finding out cues is why I want to find it out beforehand, so it doesn't turn out worse in the end.

>>8743027
Of course I do! I wish the whole thing had never happened! I wish he'd straight up said "I'm romantically interested in you" so I had the chance to turn him down and he could move on. By staying friends and him telling me he was OK being friends, I ended up hurting someone I care about because I fell in love and he thought he had "dibs".
I wish it had never happened because he deserves to be happy.

>>8743031
If she's like I was, she might not pick up on cues you mean to be romantic, if you say you're friends she'll believe that's all you want.

>>8743037
Stop taking responsibility for his mistakes.

>>8742973
Sorry you went through that shit too. I'm 100% with you on that advice. I hope you have some good female friends.

>>8743065
Hey thanks. That really means more than you know.
Best of luck out there, no matter what you choose.

>>8743027
If you're OP then just by this statement I'd say don't try to be friends with this girl. Any girl should take "but what about MY feelings?" as a huge red flag, lesbian or not. If you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. You don't get to make this about you when you're the one putting her in that position.

>>8743088
So you're saying that males should not feel? Okay.

>>8743097
I'm saying don't make YOU confessing her problem. Is that so hard to understand, or are you being obtuse? Feel however you want without making yourself a burden on her. I've been rejected before too, but I never made it her fault.

>>8743111
Your wording made it sound like if we were not meant to feel anything. I apologize.

I am just trying to take the possibility so I can learn from the experience. In fact, if she happens to be a lesbian I have a hope that even after I can confess we can still be friends, if she's not it's quite more unlikely, depending on how she feels.

>>8743085
Aw, thanks anon. I'm glad to hear that.
Good luck to you too, I know things will get better for both of us.

>>8742792
If his parents really loved him he would have been an early transitioner.

>>8743037
>deserves to be happy
He deserves as much as he genuinely gives. He didn't care about you for friendship, he didn't care about you besides what he thought I could get from you. He put in "good guy" coins, then flipped out when he didn't get the "reward" he dreamed up.

>>8743139
Listen, buddy. I am confident that a guy who felt attraction to someone didn't automatically switch into friend-mode when he realized he would never get any. You might tell yourself you're in it for their personality, but that won't keep forever. If she is really gay - you need to just move on. If she isn't gay - that doesn't mean you have a certain chance with her.

>>8743037
He sounds like an absolute idiot desu

>>8743088
>>8743111
>>8743673
As a nonpassing trans woman I am so glad I don't have to deal with that kinda garbage, it sounds extremely shitty.

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>I am a heterosexual male, but