My Story

>>8739071
(...cont)

I lived for about 4 more years as a "Normal boy" But every night instead of going on pornhub like many of my peers, My adolescent hormones drove me literotica and fictionmania. I had a very specific type of story that aroused me. It was "Realistic", non consensual Feminisation. I saw a youtube video once where a transwoman explained said that forced feminisation is such a popular thing among MTFs because it takes away the guilt. It's like a Psychological trick I used on myself because the feelings I had were just so fucking painful to deal with at such a young age.

I now realise any attraction to girls I ever had was me fantasizing about being them, especially in sexual situations. I sometimes masturbated to pictures of MTF's but it wasn't the body that attracted me but the knowledge that they were born male, the proof. I remember thinking to myself at around 15 how I was ever going to have a relationship, I wanted to always be honest with my theoretical partner, but telling them about my "fetish" was never going to happen. This undercurrent of guilt was so prevalent during my experience with AGP and sexuality growing up.

Eventually my interest in transgender people led me to /r/transtimelines, /r/transpassing and through those /r/asktransgender. I think you guys can guess the rest.

I came out to my mother at 16, managed to start blockers thru the NHS when I was 17.5 and started E on my 18th Birthday.
I'm 19 now and finally beginning to understand these feelings.

They are not wrong and they don't mean I am not trans, in fact, they are a symptom. I just wish I could go back in time and tell 12 year old me that I am not a pervert, or a sexual devient. I was an emotionally damaged child who was too ashamed of getting help. I think a few of us on the board could use this message now

Reading it all back, my story seems almost tragic. It took a lot to write this, but I am glad I did. Hope Maybe it helps somebody.

File: 4b35897a345ca3fc966c9b052b660026--third-gender-transgender.jpg (39KB, 500x722px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 500x722px

>>8739078
You would have taken up resources for deserving early transitioners, and would have been evil like pic related.

>>8739071
You are still transitioning pretty young, you are fine.
I had many of the same thoughts and attractions, I was fascinated and attracted to transgirls and even understood that I want to be like them and change myself but I kept on repressing. The closet is too comfy, its just a fetish, r-right?

>>8739078
>I had a very specific type of story that aroused me. It was "Realistic", non consensual Feminisation.
top tier taste

>>8739071
>>8739078
Thank you for sharing. I've had forced fem thoughts since I was extremely young (though I did not recognize them as such). It took me until 20 to even consider that I could be trans.
I hope that in the future people will be able to recognize such things for what they are and help people like us before we go through puberty.

>It the first time I ever masturbated. It was by accident and happened while I was attempting to tuck.
Funny that you say that. The very first time I masturbated happened almost by accident. I was 12. Something drove me to try on my mother's underwear when nobody was home. I did that and my heart started racing. Just lied in bed for a long while and wondered "what the fuck is going on". Eventually I decided, for whatever reason, to pull my genitals back really hard and look at my flat crotch. Did that for a while. Eventually got a boner from all of the pulling. Masturbated. Was shocked beyond belief.

>>8739078
>they don't mean I am not trans, in fact, they are a symptom.
Being trans is a symptom of AGP.

>>8742434
>Something drove me to try on my mother's underwear
That something was AGP.

>>8742485
Or trans people develop AGP because they're ashamed and repressed..

>>8742495
Or they don't.

>>8742592
>>8742495
>>8742485
No arguments from either side as typical conversation about anything on /lgbt/. Just endless, mindless restatement of position devolving into insults. I'm unconvinced this board isn't just high school age phoneposters by this point: it seems even one Google search requires too much exertion for your butter fingers.

>>8742604
What you're missing, again, is that this has been debated to death dozens upon dozens of times. Do you debate creationists in good faith after the 30th time, starting from the basics, or do you just tell them to fuck off?

>>8742620
"debated to death"

I've read through your archives. There is no debate to death, there's insults and shitfling. Again, you people correlate statements of position with legitimate arguments and then try to force people to "refute" your statement. Like, it's nonsensical. This isn't how argumentation works. This is how shitposting works. Call me mad all you like, but when everyone sees this output as the typical fare on this board they realize none of you have anything to say, really.

>>8742625
>I've read through your archive
What, the entire thing? If not how the fuck would you know?

For example I argued for my position here, long ago. Follow the replies: https://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/thread/8214864/#q8220887

The truth is that you're just going around shitposting about how people are insulting one another instead of arguing without realizing why they do what they do.

>>8742673
>why they do what they actually do

Because you're a bunch of shitposters telling yourselves it's for a good cause, like all 4chan users led by the road of "good causes" straight to hell.

All you can really do is shake your head, go "NUH-UH IT'S YOU" and cry. Because you know I'm right. Because you know that thread you posted is nothing more then a bunch of fucking statements rehashed over and over again with the pretense of a real argument. Not a single link was posted in that thread. Not a single one! One asshole's blogspot, that's it.

This board is garbage at arguing anything, and I'm going to fix that.

>>8742683
See, this is the fucking problem. You're a rookie who doesn't even get what is being discussed. You have to be versed in the basics of the Blanchardian conception of AGP, Nuttbrock's study, the preliminary results shown by brain scans like the INAH stuff, Lawrence's views and Serano's views to fully get what is even being discussed. Starting from scratch with someone who doesn't understand some part of this means starting an entirely new discussion on said part with new potential objections and bridges to cross.

Do you expect people to link all of that every time or assume some level of literacy on part of the reader?

ITT morons arguing with morons

>>8742719
>You have to be versed in the basics of the Blanchardian conception of AGP, Nuttbrock's study, the preliminary results shown by brain scans like the INAH stuff, Lawrence's views and Serano's views to fully get what is even being discussed

One paper, one study, one MRI meta-analysis, one PDF and one op-ed piece is not what I call heavy reading, but then again, you people consider two paragraphs heavy reading.

>Do you expect people to link all of that every time or assume some level of literacy on part of the reader?

You know, it would help third parties if you just fucking cited your sources like an adult rather then whining like child, yes. Instead of having to scour through Google Scholar every time some asshole brings up its esoteric point? Like, you know, actual debate involves? A bibliography?

Nah, just insults and shitflinging all day. That'll make third parties join your side! By being told to just google my argument for me, lol scrub!!!

For now, at least. You'll see. Every last one of you will see that this standard will no longer be allowed. I'm going to elevate this board to the "lofty" standards of every other board's discourse whether you trannies and armchair behavioral psychologists like it or not.

>>8739071
>>8739078
I am not trans but I liked reading your story so I can understand trans people a little better

>>8742719
>Nuttbrock
>Serano

>>8742748
That's hundreds of pages of reading but okay.
Autogynephilia foundations:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/19156491_Typology_of_male-to-female_transsexalism
Men Trapped in Men's Bodies (Anne Lawrence)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2894986/

Transsexuality as a biological condition:
http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2005to2009/2006-atypical-gender-development.html
Some overlap between the next two but IMO both are worth reading.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_transsexuality#Genetics
http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2015to2019/2016-transsexualism.html
A study no one fucking cites even though it's pretty important:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4699258/

Autogynephilia as a repression mechanism:
Whipping Girl (Julia Serano)


I've been to /tg/, /v/, /b/, /sci/, /vg/, /int/, /g/.. the other boards aren't better.

>>8742748
>>8742835
Oh, right, also worth bringing up re: brain sex:
http://www.wiringthebrain.com/2016/01/sex-on-brain-tale-of-two-studies.html

>>8742810
>I don't have to even read what my opponents wrote
OK

>>8739071
>>8739078
Thank you for writing this OP.

What do you think could have helped you come to terms with being trans earlier?

>>8742262
OP here.
Transition now or you will regret it.

>>8742321
it was 100% about being believable, because that's all I wanted.

>>8742434
>Thank you for sharing. I've had forced fem thoughts since I was extremely young (though I did not recognize them as such). It took me until 20 to even consider that I could be trans.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do with you life. But explore the possibility of transition.

>>8742495
>Or trans people develop AGP because they're ashamed and repressed..
It's gotta be this. or partly this. Male puberty, sexuality triggered my AGP and it evolved with it. I guess before puberty I was in a state of "pre agp" I would love to know what happens to AGP's who don't go through male puberty. Do early transitioners ever experience AGP. Is it the same as post pubic transitioners.

>>8742987
Ultimately, Therapy.I still think it would be a good idea for me

>>8745184
>Transition now or you will regret it.
Im so old couldve been your dad

>>8746030
Mom* :^)

>>8745184
how to stop teens repressing?

>>8748364
I guess awareness works.
seems more and more under 18s are coming out as trans (according to the oversubscription rates of the GIC's in the UK) so for better of worse people are transitioning more. I really hope the group sometimes referred to here as "transtrenders" don't end up regretting transition things harder for "real" trans people