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How do you all find the strength to fight? Specially the fucked up ones like me.
I'll never pass as a girl but that's not even the main problem, I'm not nor will ever be cute or something close to this. My BDD will never leave me, along with the anxiety and probably the depression. I'm lying to myself and this hurts. There's no point in trying. To go through all the humiliation, all the family, social and health problems, knowing you'll never be satisfied in the end and is a failure.
Sincerely i already have the plan to end this at 30, but i think i may need to end it even sooner. With no ambitions or dreams in life, it's hard to keep faking life goals to everyone. It's not a matter of "lmao u gonna kys nigga so why not try it anyway?", this is more like anticipating suicide. I keep looking at the mirror and switching between "Maybe there's some hope" and knowing there's no way.
It's easier, for example, for a FTM. Manliness is almost the same as ugliness, it's the opposite of delicacy. To have bad skin with lot's of hair and not having to shave it everyday. To have harsh features you can achieve just by not taking care and letting nature doing its work (Some of you may say that that's not true at all and that boys need to take care of themselves too. But way less care. You can literally do nothing and be seen as a man while T works). For a MTF, you try to mimic female features, wich is agains't the nature: The sun, hot water, the age, everything fights agains't cuteness and delicacy. It's a constant and eternal fight agains't nature, and a mtf already started in the loser side.
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>>8696455
me 2
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I just got big and buff, now my repression is failing hard and I've ruined any chance of passing by building boulder shoulders. Maybe i should just start on foods to help repress more. My mones come in a day or two. I need to build the repression before I chemically castrate myself. :( if I'm gonna die alone, I might as well be happy with myself right?
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>>8696475
Food =test.
Autocorrect is dumb!
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Same.
I've been to repressiongen to get help with this but they're just tards, i'll try to slowy leave this place. However i feel something bad every time i see a woman on the street. Fml.
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>>8696455
I know how you feel I haven't even started transitioning because I don't think there is even a point. I plan on killing myself at 27 if my life doesn't improve by then anyways.
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>>8696455
Perma boymode is better than nothing I guess.
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>>8700737
Better than the sweet release of death?
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>>8696455
>How do you all find the strength to fight?
What else are you going to do? You fight every day until you physically can't anymore, then you lay down and wait to die I guess. If you're asking the question you still have the strength to fight.
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>>8701065
I can't kill myself, I've held a knife to my own throat so many times but I'm too cowardly to go through with it, especially when I know how badly it'll fuck up my family.
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if you're gonna kill yourself anyway try some diy surgery by cracking your collarbones
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>>8701114
Same, i know my family will break down, everyone here is mentally weak.
Maybe i would do it if i had a gun, that's why i'm against the idea of my parents buying one for self defense. It's not a matter of wanting to live. It's because if they get one i know i'll surely do it.
>>8701095
Same, anon. Same.
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>>8701214
>Same, i know my family will break down
I know that feel
>Dad regularly talks about suicidal ideation, thankfully he has spiritual beliefs about the afterlife and thinks suicide is a taboo
>Mom has multiple mental breakdowns each week and regularly tells me that I'm her favourite child
>Grandpa also thinks I'm some sort of hero who's come to save the family from depression and failure because I'm the only one who isn't miserable 24/7 (LOL!)
I didn't ask to be born into this, yet if I were to make anyone's lives harder it would have a horrible ripple effect that would go way beyond my immediate family
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I feel the same feels you people feel but since I am in a loving relationship with the man who sees me as the woman he fell in love with on the web, regardless of the fact that I just look like a feminine boy. I feel like I can go on despite all the pain. It's like having gone through all the pain of the past 20 years of my life was worth it, because I can completely lose myself in and my mind on him and be happy.in the moment together. Sure, I get suicidal when he isn't with me for a couple of hours, but I know he will come back and so I wait.
What I am saying is, that you too can find happiness and possibly a happy relationship in your life and it all could have been worth it in the end.
Also, if you want to kill yourself, don't do it with a knife to the throat, because your survival instinct will stop you, you silly.
Read up on "helium suicide bags" and combine several suicide methods with a high chance of actually working, unless you're just a pussy attentionwhore, which I will assume you are not. So combine bleeding out, killing yourself with several different overdoses, the suicide bag method and other lethal things, to minimize your chances of a failed suicide.
I find it admirable that some of you choose to go on in order not to hurt your families and that has been a good reason for me in the past as well.
Bestest of luck, fellow chicks with dicks.
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