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Unlearning certain gender mannerisms?

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I'm ftm and read a comment how girls are more likely to be malleable and do/say things to avoid conflict, while guys are more likely to stand up for themselves.
How can I learn how to stand up for myself in this way when I was taught since birth basically, to be submissive?
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>>8675296
By watching media portraying how to stand up for yourself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trDsXlDJIbM
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>>8675296
Assertiveness and confidence are skills you have to practice over time. They don't come naturally to plenty of men as well. It might sound odd, but one tip I can give is to think about your own interests more when you make decisions. Go with your gut. Take note whenever you compromise on your own feelings for others -- don't stop compromising entirely, because that would make you a dick, but really ask if you're doing the right thing for *yourself*.
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I can intellectually understand the whole dysphoria over your body making you need to change your physical appearance to match what you feel you are inside your head thing... but I will never understand the trans need to conform to the retarded stereotypes that any sane cis person considers outdated or irrelevant to gender.

Inside your head you are a man, so you change your body to that of a man, fair enough.. but if you need someone else to explain every detail of that man's entire personality, then that man is not actually inside your head at all.

Real men come in all types of personalities. Right now you sound like an insecure man who wants to put on a fake macho front. People make fun of guy's like that for a reason.
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>>8675338
>Right now you sound like an insecure man who wants to put on a fake macho front
That's still a man. Spineless cowards are still men, same with submissive and passive ones. You don't have to be a macho man to still be accepted as one. Being made fun of isn't a concern for a lot of men, most of them are used to it and have a general sense of what should be done if faced with it again.
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>>8675338
I don't want to be fake macho, but I want to be confident and stand up for myself. I used to be able to do that in elementary school and didn't care, but then I got into this "I have to become a perfect girl" thing and my parents pushed me into this as well...
Sure, there are men that are more pussy than me, but I don't want to be that way because I wasn't always like this. Now I can't even do or say what I want because it's so ingrained in me just not to, I don't even think about it consciously.
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>>8675296
>>8675370
just try your best to be aggressive, unpredictable and angry, have people on their toes around you at all times, don't be afraid to make a scene or have violent outbursts over nothing. When you're a man that wants respect you need people to fear you, make sure they know who's the boss
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>>8675296
One major thing Ive noticed about confident guys vs submissive guys is their "my way or the highway" attitude. This may sound dumb and obvious but in order to be confident you have to know what you want. For example if you're on a date and he/she asks where you're going for dinner, don't turn it into a discussion, make a decision. Stop using phrases with ambiguity like "I think..." and "Maybe...". Many people like having decisions made for them, whether they like to admit it or not. I'm not saying be stubborn, just be clear with what YOU want. If someone disagrees, they will say so, and it's sexy being with a guy who knows what he wants.
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>>8675416
>How to get yourself knocked the fuck out
The post
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>>8675416
this is terrible advice wtf

OP do you have discord?
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troll thread
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>>8675433
>>8675435
these dudes are pussies, probably trannies with no balls
>>8675416 is right
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>>8675416
Any man who acts like this is overcompensating and would not get respect because he'd be an asshole. It's possible to be confident and alpha without being a dumb meathead always looking to fight.
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>>8675435
Post yours.
>>8675432
This is the only decent advice on this thread, thank you. But what if someone disagrees and I have to cave? That would just make me look more like a pussy.
>>8675416
I do this around my family involuntarily. But I would say that "real" men don't need to act violent or scary to get people to respect/fear them.
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>>8675493
Nuka#7856
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>>8675493
>I would say that "real" men don't need to act violent or scary to get people to respect/fear them
If you know how real men act why do you need us to tell you how they act then? I gave you sound advice, that's how men act, if you can't do that you'll never fit in with the men
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>>8675296
Friedrich Nietzsche sees the same submissiveness in Christians because they demonize pride, greed, and wealth. On the 8 beatitudes stated by Jesus, depending on whose book you read it, he blessed the poor, the hungry, and the meek. He also stated 4 woes to the rich, the well fed, happy people, and the charismatic.

So just be proud of what you are and what you have. Don't understate yourself to look humble. Be ambitious and never fall for the 'sour grape' meme. Etc etc.
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>>8675493
>But what if someone disagrees and I have to cave? That would just make me look more like a pussy.
It depends on the situation. Like I said, don't be stubborn, just don't hmm and ha over decisions. People are allowed to disagree with you, it's just beta behavior to immediately try to come to a consensus. Girls especially like to be taken care of (and sub boys too), so just the fact that you're making a decision rather than immediately jumping to discuss it is a turn on.
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It's another ftm thread trying to tell men what it's like being a man disguised as something only a woman could come up with. I'll save you guys some trouble
>Still thinks like a woman despite your best effort
Enjoy!
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>>8675338
>that any sane cis person considers outdated or irrelevant to gender.

No they don't. I'm MtF, and the reason I wear my hair long, wear makeup, wear certain clothes, stay quiet, make myself smaller so I take up less space, it's all because of cis people and what they want from me. Otherwise I would basically be a butch.
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>>8675549
just be a butch

i do all of those things too but it's because I like doing them
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>>8675506
Because I can't stop certain mannerisms that I was taught. If it was as simple as "I know how I want to react, therefore I'll react that way" then no one would ever have problems. If I could just instantly gain confidence and a sense of dominance within myself, then I wouldn't be asking what I can do to change this.
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>>8675537
Wat m8? How do I think like a woman?
I'm just what you might call a beta trying to unlearn "beta" things. Hopefully I won't have to worry about this for long though.
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Hang out around a large enough group of cis guy friends. They will make it a mission to hazing ritual the fuck out of you until you "toughen up".

For me, it never worked. I just don't like stepping on toes.
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>>8675338
>but I will never understand the trans need to conform to the retarded stereotypes that any sane cis person considers outdated or irrelevant to gender.

Not the OP, but

1) Passing. (So no, "sane" cis people definitely don't - subconsciously, at a minimum - consider these things irrelevant to gender.)

2) Undoing damage done. Like the OP, I can distinctly remember brimming with pride and confidence as a child. Certainly moreso than other kids, as adults commented on it quite a bit. But particularly being raised female, that was "quirky" and "cute" up to puberty and no farther, and then everyone started trying to wear me down bit by bit. By the time I went to transition, I felt like I'd had much of my natural personality beaten out of me by everyone around me and had grown to shy from the slightest confrontation. My personality might not be "gendered" in that sense, but the way it was handled by others sure was. (Are confident boys discouraged?) I wanted to regain who I was before the years of indoctrination.

3) What if I don't disagree with the "gender binary" in the first place? Why should I? Because I essentially have a birth defect? So what? It's not necessarily bad for women to be confident; it's TERRIBLE for men NOT to be. Men are meant to be strong because their evolutionary role is to protect their families and tribes. Why would I want to fuck with that? Do I know better than nature? I don't want to "tear down" "retarded stereotypes," I want to slot in as inconspicuously as possible.

In b4 any feminist REEEEing.
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>>8675592
where's my friend request
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>>8675592
Just go cry in a corner instead of playing around like a man. Sound like a whiny bitch seeking approval from us.
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>>8675602
People on this board believe in everything they read online and think they can determine your "thinking patterns" through your writing style with bullshit e-analyzers they can't support with logic but force meme it anyway.

All pseudoscience, the domain of the societal warrior who wants nothing but to manipulate others onto crazed cults.
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>>8675606
They will never understand that trans people just want to blend in, not be a point of discussion or a sigil for warriors to rally around and fight over. Not a means to 'overthrow the system and societal roles'.

You made us into that.
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>>8675592
Hah, you sound like the kind of pussy boys I eat for breakfast, you either get confidence or you get fucked, sounds more like you want to get fucked to me, nothing wrong with being a little pussy gay boy, more for me
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>>8675628
Why do you creepy fetishists always come up in the FtM threads?

Is it like "fucking the lesbian" to you? Giving something dick that clearly doesn't want it?

I dunno, but I think my future rapist senses are tingling.
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>>8675628
I'm not gay, I just want real advice. When I stop being so lazy, will start reading up on stoicism but I don't know where else to look.
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>>8675654
>I just want real advice
That is real advice, he's telling you to shit or get off the pot. You're currently debating if the pot is even real or a figment of our imagination.
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>>8675623
Fuck off. You're a fucking misogynist if you act weak and submissive just because you think women are like that. Blame that on your fucked up head, you piece of shit tranny.

Holy shit. If this is bait, I rate it as 10/10.
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>>8675652
Just a fact of life, you don't even know how many little queer boys I got wrapped around my cock, all because they couldn't be real men and make decisions and be confident, just like OP. When you're trying to play in the male world you've got to be a predator, an alpha, strong in mind and body, if you don't want that you can just be my bitch boy
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>>8675296
>I was taught since birth
thats not why
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>>8675773
Maybe not birth but definitely since puberty or whenever I was expected to "act like a lady". I used to be able to stand up for myself. Why are you suggesting?
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>>8675693
>implying FtMs don't want to be manly

Blow it out your ass TERF.
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>>8675296
How are ftms (and cis girls) taught to be submissive?

t. jealous mtf
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>>8675695
Why do fetishists always treat their lifestyle as if society accepts it as natural? It doesn't. I think it's bourne of great self-denial, which is why you're attempting to, ahem, "dominate" (if we can even call that pathetic attempt anything close to being a forceful will) over TCP/IP.

It's just sad™
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>>8675797
don't be jealous lol just be urself fuck the terfs who say you're too aggressive, as you can see here >>8675693 they will always hate you no matter what you do
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>>8675575
And risk getting clocked? No way.

But after I get FFS, the hair is coming right off. I'm cutting off all of it. And it's going to feel so good.
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>>8675806
It's not about terfs, I just envy the female childhood ftms resent.
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>>8675806
People who want to use you for a cause get very angry when the curtain is unveiled and their true motivations hit the lime light. It's the same, stormfag communist or TERF alike. It's like shining a spotlight into their face and they 9/10 times react with pure rage.

Collectivist worldviews belong in the bin!
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>>8675792
you want to be normal, observed what normal was around you, and learn to act so you can fit in better.
thats just human nature.

and now you want to fit in with another group so youre doing the same thing again,
of course its much harder this time since youre not a easily manipulated teenager anymore.
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>>8675811
ehh it's all idealized crap anyway
not being depressed forever after 10 would be nice tho, but trans guys get that too
>>8675812
idg ur point
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>mfw my parents always pushed me to be more assertive and decisive, but I still ended up being a conflict-avoidant people pleaser

I think it's nature more than nurture, OP.
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>>8677037
>parents push you into things
>become people pleaser
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>>8677054
??

Not sure what you're implying.
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>>8675807
>man surgically butchering his body to appear female excited to look more masculine
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>>8677086
I'm not a man. And women are women even if they have short hair.
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>>8675493
Hi, OP (I think). I'm not the person who made either of these posts you responded to, but...

Regarding the 'what if someone disagrees'. Men tend to have an unspoken heirarchy whenever a gaggle of them gather, and there's usually little doubt who is where (although you may have tiers, like 'john joe and mike are all second tier decision makers, if steve doesn't want to decide, one of them will' type of stuff so you'll actually seldom run into that problem. At work you ~usually~ defer to seniority. You'll know when that changes because the way they speak to you will change to camaraderie and bantering.

The violent/scary thing. It's true you don't need to be violent or scary to be a man. But to be a 'real man' (I detest that terminology, but I'm sure you know what I mean), you must have the CAPACITY for both. This is what men evolved for and what their role was for thousands of years. They're selected for this trait, even the weak ones we mostly have today. Remember that the weakest man alive today is STILL a direct descendent of the most bloodthirsty, crafty, warlike people to walk planet earth -- they had to be, else their line was exterminated long ago. So don't completely decouple from being able to perform (righteous) force.

Also learn to differentiate between force and violence, you'll be two steps ahead of 80% of men if you can.

Good luck bro.
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>>8675416
this is easly one of the worst advice i ever heard in my life
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>>8675296
first of all sorry about typos, english is a second language
second as a man who for a long timne to not be "a pushover" i can tell you one thing or two
the most important is, every way to "manufacture" character will fial, because in the end you´re insecure
the only real thing that can give you character is life itself, the shit life throws at you, that shit that throws JUST AT YOU, that´s the shit that will make you a stronger person,there´s not other way, everything else will crumble at the first sign of real trouble, it´s cool to have a mask if you don´t know how to procede in certain situations, everyone have one, but the more sincere you are dealing with your problems, the more your mind will find ways to construct a better criteria dealing with pain, you will be more strong and resilient, but also more flexible and creative, because all that neurosis of "behaving like a real man" will not get in the way
also love something, only the people who love something find the courage and willpower to deal with the awful thing this life give you

tldr: be honest with the problems you´re facing and don´t construct a mask and find something to love something to have a trascendental purpouse in life

or read heidegger
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>>8677108
are you a ftm?
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>>8677695
Not really.

OP is asking how to act like a man, not necessarily a "good" example of a man.

What (>>8675416) is describing is beta behavior, but it's still well within the parameters of typical cis male behavior. And let's be honest. most FTM's end up being beta males.
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That kinda stuff isn't really gendered. You're just a beta male. I'm a cis woman but I take no shit because I'm not a doormat.
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>>8675476
>>8675695
>>8675528
>>8675602
>>8679286
https://youtu.be/YTyQgwVvYyc
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>>8675296
Enjoy your male privilege
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>>8675449
That's not being manly. That's being an asshole. Being assertive has nothing to do with being aggressive.
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>>8675695

There's a conflict in what you're saying, which is that you're so stupid that you're eventually going to be poor or fat or AIDS-ridden or drug-addicted, yet you're also strong in mind and body. It's just not possible for all of that to be true at once.

You should go to /b/ or /pol/ if you want to do this sort of transparently fake roleplaying.
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>>8675592

Sure it's not that simple, but it IS as simple as "fake it 'til you make it"--or if it isn't, then it's too complicated for a bunch of idiots like you'll find here to explain to you. "Fake it 'til you make it" is the best advice you'll get here. Use it or look for advice elsewhere.

Just pretend to be "male" the way you want to be. But not overbearingly, and especially not in a way that stops you from listening, because you need to get information back from the world about how well you're doing. Try not to try too hard, but do try. It's impossible to get that right all the time so fail and learn from failure. Then, keep doing this until you start succeeding. It's pretty simple.

Unless it isn't, in which case, again, 4chan is too dumb to help you.
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>>8677770
No, I'm straight MtF.
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>>8679291
He really does ruin everything. That guy has an incredibly punchable face.

And he's cherry-picking. Generally speaking, shows of strength and aggression are crucial to being the alpha male (which DOES exist). Rather than emphasizing the idea that you could become the alpha male by schmoozing your way up (which happens much less commonly), Adam would have been wise to point out that alphas who are TOO aggressive and obnoxious tend to have their pack/tribe turn on them. Essentially, an alpha needs to be strong and assertive enough to gain respect, but not so much that lower-tier animals perceive him to be a tyrant - or they'll revolt.

A lot of social animals also have alpha females; there seems to be a belief in the manosphere world that "alpha male" means that you bang any females you want, but that's not true of many primates; the alpha female has first dibs, and low-ranking females don't generally have a shot.
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