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Did I fuck up, /lgbt/?

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Thread replies: 11
Thread images: 2

File: unimpressed.jpg (5KB, 293x172px) Image search: [Google]
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Genuine question here.

>be me
>table game supervisor at a casino
>casually talking with a player
>casually refer to the dealer, dealing to the player, as 'her'
>the dealer in question has a very short haircut (like a boy's?)
>doesn't act gruff or even boyish, in my opinion
>she is gay, which isn't a secret
>the player is suddenly antagonizing me, accusing me of making a homophobic mistake
>asks why I hate transgendered people
>have observed her discomfort when players casually refer to her, as 'him'
>this observation is not known to the player, who rapidly devolves into accusations
>says that I can be sued for thirty million
>at no point in the eleven months that I've known my coworker, have I ever been corrected by her, or accused of using inappropriate words toward her
>in fact, I'm not sure whether it ever came up before
>but neither does she tell him that he is wrong
>she tells him, that "it's okay", somewhat amused by the escalating situation
>he ups the ante, calls me now a racist homophone (the dealer is filipina, but where does this come from?)
>tell him, dude, her name is Maria (but she goes by a Philippine nickname, even on name tag)
>accuses me of calling security on him, after I answered a phone call
>claims that the thing I said was caught on camera, and that I can be sued, again
>tell him our cameras do not record audio (true)
>at no point in the entire employment history of this dealer has any staff member referred to her, as a him, far as I know
>shit you not, for the next HOUR, he goes around the casino, telling every stranger, every staff member, that I am a racist transphobe / homophone
>finding this all absurd, I just no longer engage with him, and tell him, truthfully, I have no idea what he is talking about
>the dealer seems to just find this all rather comical, but doesnt clarify who is right or wrong at any point, leaving the entire situation ambiguous

Did I fuck up somewhere? How on earth would I know? Should I ask? Like, what the hell?
>>
If I were that dyke/Tumblr FtM, I'd simply shut the fuck up and not even bring up the pronoun business at work.

Do you live in Canada??
>>
No, you're fine. The player was triggered by proxy. Some people love going on a crusade in the name of people who want no part of it. And if the dealer never gave any indication of being trans, the player was imagining it.
>>
>>8673950
She didn't bring it up, and never has. This was all generated by this obnoxious customer.

I do live in Canada (but not Ontario, where a certain bill originated. I heard about but haven't really followed the story.)
>>
File: IMG_20170727_194522.jpg (41KB, 1024x576px) Image search: [Google]
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The dealer should have stepped in and said "I'm a woman" right away to deescalate the situation. The fact that they didn't is odd. You should talk to them and just say "I'm sorry if the situation made you uncomfortable", and if it seems appropriate ask why they didn't clarify.

You at no point did anything wrong, but, as this is a work issue I would take the time to find out what's going on with the dealer. But remember that I don't know anything about the situation that you haven't told me and use your best judgement to decide what's appropriate.
>>
>she is gay
i'll never understand this kind of shit.
>>
>>8673938
She's just going for an androganous look. She's also a filipina and they just laugh at 1st world problems.
>>
>>8673938
Should probably ask the dealer about it and how you should go about it in the future.

Something like

"Hey, I know this is a bit awkward, but the situation before left me confused and I'm unclear about what the correct course of action here is. Should I refer to you as male/female" etc etc.

You're not in the wrong here, honestly, but you should ask for goodness in the future.
>>
Congratulations, friend, you found a nutter butter, welcome to customer service.

If your co-worker didn't take him seriously at all, I don't see why you should. desu she should have been the one to defuse the situation.

Given that no one else refers to her as a man and she's openly gay, I highly doubt she's trans, she probably just either thought the freakout was funny and harmless, or thought correcting him might just make things worse.
But if you're confused, it can't hurt to ask. If she's chill about some crazy motherfucker running around telling everyone she's trans, she's probably gonna be cool with a polite clarification.
>>
>>8673970
>>8674019
>>8674020
Cool, thanks for the thoughts. Felt like I maybe missed the memo on this one. As a professional, and as management, I leave my shit at the door, and consider these sorts of things really none of my business. But, sometimes things come up anyway, and it seems like this is a particularly unavoidable subject with my coworker.
>>
>>8673938
From your story (assuming it's all the details) no you did not fuck up.

In fact there's a reasonable chance that you could sue the player instead.
If you want to e a smug bitch about it, which I probably would have done.
Thread posts: 11
Thread images: 2


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