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I was a late bloomer! I wasn't good with girls. I'm now not great with them for my age. I have above average looks. I'm tall and have an above average penis. I'm very smart, but have a low self esteem and lack focus at times.
I get lonely. When I can't get a girl, in recent years, I've found interest in older men. I haven't been with one, but it seems like an easy option for affection and it seems kinda hot!
I've thought about it since I was like 16. But, recently, it's like I've had a fever for it. When I get all up in a tizy over the prospect of cock, I feel fem and my attraction to girls wanes, along with my confidence, assertiveness and vision of my goals.
Sometimes, I give up porn, I don't come to 4chan, I don't imagine myself as a girl and I work on my goals. I feel great when I do this and have great confidence and feel like I could ask out any girl.
But, if I get down, I come back to this and talk to guys/men. I feel like every time I come to the guys, I get closer to hooking up.
It feels like there are two mes.
Part of me really wants to get in great shape and work on my goals and financial situation. I want to become in control of every aspect of my life. But, the submissive, slutty side beckons and if I pay it a little attention, it gets stronger. I tell myself I'm just checking it out, next thin I know I'm sticking things inside of me.
I talked with an old female friend about this. She's now the only one who knows me that
knows about this. She said I shouldnt repress anything.
I asked her if thats the case even if i feel like these desires interfere with life and come from depression/low selft esteem. She said to do it to see if you like it. she said she "burried her face" in a lot of pussy when she was depressed and doesnt regret it because it let her know what she liked.
She said I shouldnt feel bad because if I feel bd it's just from societal pressures and that sexuality isnt definable.
How do I figure it all out?
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>She said I shouldnt feel bad because if I feel bd it's just from societal pressures and that sexuality isnt definable.
>How do I figure it all out?
this exactly...you sound a lot like me...
but there you wrote down the answer yourself...
let go, dont give a fuck and be yourself mate
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me again..plus you should ask yourself if ur depressed, any proffessional opinion on that?
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>>8666891
This is AGP pseudobisexuality.
They don't come from depression but depression might bring them to the fore instead of leaving them hidden. If you had better self-esteem and didn't feel that they interfered with your life, you might feel happy engaging in them without being depressed.
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idk, i feel as though ive been depressed my whole life and have had an acute porn addiction.
I mean, I graduated college recently with honors, but I was depressed all the way through and would watch porn the entire time I did projects and papers. I only get this slutty feeling when I get deep into porn.
If I feel horny and just quickly rub one out without getting too imaginative, it's usually a very normal, easy thing. It's when I go down a rabbit hole, my imagination runs wild and I imagine negative things about myself that get me into semi twisted sexual thoughts of masochism and feminization.
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>>8666994
Do you think if i bettered my habits, got more control over my life, dropped porn, id feel better about it? In the past, i think doing such a thing made those feelings kinda go away
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>>8666994
and what is meant by pseudobisexuality? I couldnt find one set definition on that.
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>>8667018
Having control over your life is a good thing. Being addicted to porn is bad. I don't know what you mean by bettering your habits.
Being interested in men and being feminine like this isn't a bad thing. If the feelings go away and you don't mind, that's not a problem either. If you want to explore them, you can and you can keep improving your life too.
>>8667028
It's the attraction to guys caused by AGP. It's different from the attraction straight women and gay guys feel.
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>>8667028
sounds to me like that time when you come out as bisexual bit still a closet gay
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>>8667041
Yeah, I've never had romantic attraction to men. But lately I could find it possible if I was completely submissive and feminine with them. It would be hot. Like, the everyday me, I wouldnt want to kiss a man. But, if I were the slutty me, I would like to be puddy in his arms.
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>>8667067
This is very common for AGPs. Normally kissing a guy would feel gay and AGPs aren't gay. But when you can see yourself as feminine and girly, kissing a guy feels straight instead because you're the girl, and it's perfect for AGP.
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fuck all this terminology, op is clearly gay
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>>8667103
you really think so?
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>>8666891
>I've found interest in older men.
Gerontophilia it is.
Why don't you get on with it and start shagging corpses already you mummy fucking necrophiliac.
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>>8666891
are you legit autistic or what
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>>8667201
maybe a little desu
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>>8667220
i guess the first step is to do what i need to do without giving into degenerate, thoughts and touching myself or looking at porn
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>>8667375
Bump
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