When you want a family?

/lgbt/ fertility privilege chart:

Bisexuals > Lesbians > FtM > Gays > MtF

File: l8c9lcit2v4z.jpg (44KB, 749x530px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 749x530px

No, I never want a family.

I'm 32, queer, and so happy I never had kids. I grew up in a loving, but dysfunctional home with a mother with severe OCD and a father with alcoholism. They both made it out with treatment and are still alive today and retired, but holy shit did my sister and I use up all of their resources. They were happy with that, the sacrificing of everything for their kids; for me that sounds like total hell.

I dated a girl when I went to college in the early-mid 2000's and we ended up getting married in 2007. It was horrific; we bought a house right before the economy crashed, I became addicted to pills and alcohol, we lost our jobs, etc. STILL, she wanted to have a kid and would "forget" her birth control sometimes. I always pulled out - thank fucking god.

I saw all of my friends who had kids being miserable as hell and my wife and I divorced. I then went crazy in my late 20's with a few years in the BDSM scene and decided in 2011 to get a vasectomy. It was the greatest decision I've ever made.

Because I didn't have kids, I was able to go back to college for a different major (my original tech degree was made obsolete in the recession) and am loving graduate school. I get to do whatever I want and I don't have anything tying me to anyone. My sister has 2 kids and an awesome husband and I love being an uncle.

I'm not going to lie, I never wanted a biological kid because I have some serious mental health issues I had to battle through. I've been in remission for over 4 years, but I NEED sleep at night and need to constantly work on self-regulation or I turn into a total shitshow.

Also, every single relationship I've been in has failed and being able to escape when shit hits the fan is nice.

Do I feel a touch of loneliness because I'm in my 30's without a family? Sometimes, but I think back to how awful my relationships have ended and know its for the best. I would make an awful father and I'm self-aware enough to admit it.