Hey so I'm gay and stuff, I'm 25, but I haven't had much in the way of physical contact or dating with other men because I was closeted till last year. Once made out with one friend of mine and almost had sex but backed out because I was deep in denial, and then another time I got into bed with a guy... but he was so gross and not my type (short, hairy, rail thin, small dick, terrible personality, foreskin,) that I just couldn't maintain interest in him and had to leave. I'm finally in a position where I'm out and ready to play the dating game. I had some questions for those who have more experience than I:
1. If I know I'm romantically oriented and want a relationship should I hook up just to lose my virginity, gain experience, even at the risk of having my first hookup be bad? or should I just cultivate myself, and wait to meet the right person?
2. I masturbate a lot, which is a side affect of being in the closet and having that as my sole sexual outlet. I've never tried to stop, but should I? Will it improve my mood and sex drive and ability to get out there and get a man? I mean I can't imagine not masturbating, I've been doing it multiple times a day since I was ten. Sometimes I feel like it relieves my sexual urges and then leads to me not taking action to like... make a tinder profile and find a date.
3. I have no social circle to speak of, no gay friends in my hometown right now, no reliable sources of emotional support. When I came out and broke up with my long time girlfriend I came back to a husk of a life, long neglected friendships, isolation, etc. So now I'm building from the ground up.
Someone please help!
I can only bump
>>8632239
>1
That's for you to decide. As long as you improve yourself socially then a decent guy who's worth having a long-term relationship with probably won't mind you being inexperienced. If you want to try a few hookups to make up for lost time then that's your business but consider how it would reflect on a partner who you would consider worthy of a long-term relationship.
I'm heavily against any ind of sex before a relationship myself but I'm not you, and my values aren't of importance if you're not trying to get with me so again, entirely your decision.
>2
I'd try to cut down since you say that your masturbation keeps you from doing things to get a relationship. You don't have to stop cold turkey, try to cut down a little bit each week till it doesn't keep you from getting out there.
>3
That is unfortunate, as you said they only way you can fix that is to build from the ground up but at least you're open now, so you're not lying about yourself.
>>8632239
Better not to. Quick gay hookups are notorious for being a risky shitshow, and a partner who's in it for the long haul won't mind inexperience if you're honest about it. You'll either learn together, which is quite fun, or he'll show you the ropes, and you'll avoid a lot of bull. Win win.
No, being constantly horny makes you constantly stupid. Crank one out when you need and don't worry about it.
Get out there, then. You're not in the closet, so you can actively seek a partner with no bullshit. Take advantage of that.