What was the most stupid shit you did as an egg?

>>8625710
What I'm doing right now.
Browsing this board for 14 hours a day and talking to multiple trannies.

>>8625710

Weird shit. Like buying super large shorts and putting both legs through one pant leg and using it as a makeshift skirt.

>>8625713
This basically plus admitting to myself and others that I'm trans but still doing nothing.

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>Never went to friend's events or highschool graduation since I never wanted anyone to remember me as a guy
>Crossdressed in my dorm room all the time and thought I was just a feminine gay guy
>Only college party I went to in 2 years of dorms was a gender bender party and I was too good from too much practice that people definitely knew something was up
>Had a relationship with a guy but hated my body so much I couldnt care less and found the experience a bit horrifying
>Was so excited for the new DSM-V criteria I spent ages just looking at the criteria and researching trans issues out of 'scholarly curiosity."
>Was prone to thinking 'I wish I was a girl. Too bad I'm not trans so I'd have an excuse to be a girl...siiiigh' before either sleeping tons or using gender bender fiction as escapism

>>8625763

Holy shit. Repression is terrifying.

>>8625763
jesus. Please tell me you've started hrt now

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>>8625710
Eggs are just male-identified men who will always continue acting like men so what's the point of this thread?

>>8625763
>Was so excited for the new DSM-V criteria
wut

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>>8625767
I tried killing myself 2-3 times as well. I sorta alternated between attempting it with a combat knife and a machete. I was gonna stab my throat and just slice myself to death after barricading the room so no-one could rescue me in time. All 2-3 times my father came home early from work (I had to hide the barricading away as 'cleaning the room so dont open the door) and I ended up telling myself a life is worth living in horror when compared to being 'rescued' from a failed suicide. I didn't want to be saved from bleeding out and be institutionalized or placed under extreme supervision. That was all when I was 17 and we had DSM-IV TR in 2012.

Now I'm 22 and 7 months on HRT. I began to pass in month 4 cos muh asian genes plus skincare from my repression phase. I'm lucky. I couldnt give a shit about self-medding with no blood tests like I am now. I've already unnaturally extended my life and it's all thanks to HRT. God bless modern medicine and may the children of the future be able to grow up to accept themselves more than we ever did.

>>8625710
I repressed until I was too old to transition
t. repressor

>>8625776
t. egg until a couple of moths ago

>>8625776
How come you repressed for so long, then? I distinctly remember you denying being trans on this board just a year ago.

Went through a cringey "alpha male" phase where I practiced muay thai, pretended to like football, and was basically just a giant dick to everyone around me.

Basically I had this idea that maybe my dysphoria would go away if I just put more of an effort into being "manly". It's hard being LGBT in the south :/

>>8625710
WHERE OH WHERE SHALL I START...?

>>8625796
she's a chronic liar in case you haven't noticed

>>8625710
>I'm short and feminine in appearance
I don't get it why do people like this repress?

>>8625789
Me too.
t.another repressor

>>8625962
I want to know. Please, explain.

>>8625785

Omg. I really feel for you, and how bad that sounds. And then I feel guilty, because it's probably just as bad for other people that aren't able to as honestly describe it. Fuck.

Are things better now at least?

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>>8625776
Now to put things into perspective ... .

>>8625710
>How can anyone "feel" like the wrong gender I mean, I don't feel like a guy.

>>8626527
just to be clear i'm a mtf

>>8626527
When is the answer to this one again?

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>Got married thinking I could repress it forever
>Tried to kill myself in excess of 10 times by choking, stabbing, hanging. Someone always fucking found me, cunts.
>Admitted it to people but swore I'd never transition
>Became a manly man and a fire fighter to encourage being a man.
>Drove my favorite car into a tree.

>>8626437
Holy shit egg head

>>8627170
How old are you now.
Did you had kids when you transitioned and destroyed your marriage?

I'm repressing myself, 28 right now but I won't ever marry because I know that's just stupid to do.

The only repressors I know who went the marriage / kids route to repress are boomer age pretty much 40+

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>>8627177
30

Had a break down at 25, transitioned at 27. Still married. My wife ended up supporting me and we have no kids and are still together.

My poor car tho.

>>8627188
Eh, at least you got a happy ending and not kids to be bullied because their dad became their second mom.

>>8627170
>not dating a bi chick and crossdressing with her all the time in private and being as faggy as you want in public

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>>8625710
/repgen/ here, does gendercritical really help to repress or its more of the typical hating on men and more TERF bile?

>>8627213
Both. TERF bile will help you repress so well you'll end up like >>8627170 but without telling anyone.

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>>8625710
>constantly talked about how ridiculous i thought being transgender was
>dedicated myself to preserving my male identity as a neckbeard
>semi-forced myself to like stereotypical neckbeard 4channer shit (i still like parts of it)
>hid behind an epic sarcastic "dude anon doesn't give a fuck!" proud asshole smug young genius facade
>constantly fabricated new outlandish personality traits or background details
>pretended to have been a well read intellectual, instead master of wikipedia and self deception
>shat on men for behaving in a feminine way cause lmao look at the fags with their lisps
>shat on men for behaving in a masculine way cause lmao look at the fags with their sports
>terrified of women, avoided them at all costs
>drank myself to oblivion at parties so i could do something embarrassing and be "praised" (laughed at), other times I would pretend to be that messed up and do the weird stuff anyway
>tried to silently kill myself by ballooning up to a whopping 320lbs and drinking loads of liquor
>engaged in random acts of usually minor violence either towards others or myself

heh
good times!

>>8627231
why would you do that to yourself lol
stop being so afraid to live how you want

>>8627197
Kinda is what ended up happening, she was Bi in the end.

>>8627238
Why would you try to be a neckbeard, Christ.

Good thing you have accepted yourself now.

>>8627244
Because we don't want to transition, it becomes a need, a lot of us only want it because we cant live repressing it.

None of us chose this life.

>>8627257
Because that's how I was, it's weird to explain. I was a strange, sad and ugly guy who spent a lot of time on the internet. Everybody treated me like a neckbeard, i rationalized that's how they wanted to me to be

it didn't feel nice i can tell you that lmao

>>8627231
wont help then, Im very compassionate towards transwomen so I cant into TERF, even ignoring their lack of basic logic

and sadly Im not man enough to do crazy things like that or to hardcore repress and join the army

>>8627188
glad it worked out for you, lucky with your wife

>>8627267
Im sorry that happened to you.

>>8627238
>>tried to silently kill myself by ballooning up to a whopping 320lbs and drinking loads of liquor


tfw trying to silently kill myself via anorexia

>>8627275
Thank you but it's over now and all things considered I still managed a relatively timely transition at 19.

>>8627285
Because of dysphoria or something else? With me I rarely admitted to having dysphoria, treated it like something that would come and go. Mostly I was just consumed with this gnawing and inarticulate disgust. Does that sound familiar?

>>8627268
you'll be amazed at what you will desperately believe and cling too.

>>8627268
>Im very compassionate towards transwomen so I cant into TERF,
Yup, it only works if you have a lot of self-hatred that you can project on other trannies too.

>and sadly Im not man enough to do crazy things like that or to hardcore repress and join the army
Good for you.

>>8627290
Never accepted I was trans despite the signs. Not eating much was more a habit and life style at first. Wanted to be slim to avoid getting more masc or getting any belly fat. Then more out of depression and self-neglect. Then just wanting to die because my life crumbled and I had no will for anything, not even to go out to the groceries. I also never went to doctors even when I had bad painful inflammations.

>I rarely admitted to having dysphoria
Similar, but more like wanting to be feminine, hating myself when everyone tells my I'm handsome, dreaming of being a girl but then forgetting about it and getting distracted with anything possible.
I have other disorders so Im not sure what comes first.

Before this thread I was like 'mtf are fuckin' crazy'. Now i'm like 'wow, repression makes people crazy then when they go mtf they get less crazy but more obviously'. That... probably sounds pretty confused, but it's a big leap forward in my mind. Thanks for sharing your stories peeps.

>>8627213
Don't listen to TERFs whatever you do. If you want to repress, don't do it because of anything TERFs say. Ignore their siren songs.

>>8627333
It sounds like you're fairly aware of your problems though. I mean, you're here after all. Me going on /lgbt/ and reading what other transgirls who took the plunge had to say really helped me move on.

have you considered hrt at all?

>>8627398
I've started on it just for the sake of doing something. Repressing on HRT is better - estrogen feels pretty good.
I've been reading transboards for years "out of curiosity". We have probably talked before, maybe in agpgen.

>>8627447
Ha that's funny, we probably have. I try to help everybody who has doubts like I had. Hopefully you'll find it in yourself to stop harming yourself with your eating. I know it's a slow and hard process but don't beat yourself up if you slip. You can just keep going. That sort of thinking helped me at least.

>>8627388
It's hard to take TERF rhetoric any seriously
>hurr predatory males colonizing women identity to invade and pillage female spaces

But I have strong dislike for the gender norms in general and maybe if I could be as free in non-conforming as females are I wouldn't need to transition. Or maybe I wouldv'e realized I really want to transtion long time ago when I still could instead of forcing myself to be male.

>>8627464
Thanks, the dreams of becoming a curvy girl keep me alive, no joke.

>>8627380
Its pretty accurate

>>8625710
i was never an egg. i'm a mammal

>>8627447
If you're on hrt you're not repressing.......

>>8627672
>what are zygotes

>>8627690
What did you do as a zygote?

>>8627501
>female species
According to science, women are human
According to the bible, women are ribs

>>8626410
Yeah, way better. Got a bf who I really love and can be comfortable around. Happier overall. Not suicidal, etc. Life is pretty good now.

Granted, not everything is perfect. I know I'm going to be disowned by my dad but my mom and brother will be fine.

>>8627756
Im happy for you :3

>>8627756

I'm glad to hear that. Family strife isn't the best but that *you're* doing better is good. I can't really put this into words but i'm really glad that story has a happy ending, or at least an okay one. You really caught me up in those words, anon. Be happy, yeah?

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>>8625710
>an egg

jesus, i hate this terminology.
we were all eggs before the sperm fertilized us.
can't you come up with something a little more accurate and unique?
calling pre-trannies "eggs" is dumbfuck tier.

>>8625943
Not American but I can relate...

Except I'd slip up way too often and eventually people caught on.

"I love how you had your fringe cut Sarah, it really helps accentuates your chee- ... AHEMM! I mean looking hot as always babe, when we gonna date?"

>>8627857
It's just the tranny version of the closet.
Deal with it.

>inb4 anon comes with a wall of text explaining why the figurative meaning of a closet makes more sense than the egg even though both are the same shit.

>>8627951
'the closet' just sounds less... gay lol

i fry eggs for breakfast sis

>>8627951
No, a gay in the closet knows he's gay. An agg doesn't know she's trans yet. The trans version of the closet is the closet.

>>8627675
HRT alone does little, still not presenting and not transitioning

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>>8627846
The tricky part for me is moving on. At 22 so many people had jobs, now have references for their resumes, did extracurriculars, and networked. In all my years of Uni I made one friend because of Pokemon / MonHun and then lost all my friends because >trans. I have no clue how I'm going to fluff up my past enough to get a professional corporate job which is all my law degree will prepare me for. All I did was cry and read manga KEK. I cant put much on a resume and I look even worse when my only reference is my own mom.

But as shitty as life can be, because dysphoria can affect us in different ways, transitioning was the best decision I ever made. I couldnt care less about being disowned, hated, or ostracised. I now spend my time giving back to the trans community between studying and binging FFXIV + visual novels. I also have the pleasure of maybe meeting a trans MtF lawyer soon for some coffee so maybe she can offer some advice.

Life is great. My psych noted that transitioning made me constantly happy and content (euthymic) and I agree. Dysphoria sucks.

>>8627380
Yeah, accurate. Gender dysphoria can tear you apart or just be in the back of your mind and just undermine you. It's never as obvious as voices in your head because sometimes you just chalk it up to how you are as a person. Sometimes the circumstantial clues add up and you can figure out you have gender dysphoria and arent 'just a feminine / masculine X.'

Breaking point for me was looking in a mirror. The fact I could barely manage to do something so normal and then cried at my reflection was that final clue I needed. Months later it makes me wonder how much of my personality, interests, and hobbies was genuinely me and how much was dysphoria. I still enjoy gender bender manga but my snappy and sarcastic personality vanished almost overnight on E. Gender dysphoria was like an invisible hand pushing me to do crazy shit and now the hand is gone I'm sort of lost. Good riddance though.

>>8628120
Fucking with your hormones does not do little you retard, stop underestimating how big of a decision it is.

>>8625785
>>8625763
post more eyebags

The fuck is an egg? Is it a closeted tranny?

>>8627990
>An agg doesn't know she's trans yet.

I like agg.
As in aggravating.

Let's call eggs aggs instead.

>>8628189
I thought anon was trying to type agp.

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>>8628145
yeah it will make me less masc, still repressing and not transitioning, what is so hard to understand?

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fantasized vividly about coming out to my dad when i was 14 and filed it under "oh haha thats just my mind wandering nothing suspect about that" for seven goddamn years

>>8628137
>and I look even worse when my only reference is my own mom.
iktf. References have been a big issue for me.

>>8628360
You're only not transitioning socially, you are certainly not repressing so you even know what the word means

>>8628137
>my snappy and sarcastic personality vanished almost overnight

that was testosterone

>>8628902
It's your account?!

>>8627231
>Both. TERF bile will help you repress so well you'll end up like

Lol. This is literally me. I hate myself, and by extension any tranny who has it better. I don't even believe TERF shit, not really. Its basically memetic hate at this point. The cognitive dissonance of it doesn't even really bother me. I just want to drink myself to death.

>>8625763
>>8625734
This is literally me every fucking day. Goddamn the amount of relate is insane.

>>8629004

... well, she transitioned. Seemed to work out pretty well.

Food for thought?

>>8625734
I dont remember posting on this thread.
A-am I going nuts or something?

>>8629041

Yes.

Your girl self took control of your body and posted here. She's trying to get you to do something about your dysphoria.

>>8628902
Why? It better not be your account KEK.

>>8627857
It's for 'chicks that haven't cracked their shell yet' or 'haven't hatched yet'
not some thing about egg-cells

>>8625710
If someone starts a story with: "so, back when I was an egg..."
Cut that person out of your life.
Total loser.

Hatch

>>8629966
Why? I'm gonna kek if you fell for the standard trans narrative.

>>8629976
>kek
Loser.

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>>8625729
Nigga what??

>>8630012
egg lyfe

>>8625763
get some help, babe.
you'll be the qt yet with a nice bf.

>>8628137

Like I said you really caught me up in that description earlier. Super glad (irrationally glad) to hear that you're okay now.

I mean, you're 22 and have a law degree. That's not terrible. Everyone has that 'no references' problem initially - if you can get a foot in the door via trans/lgbt people in the field you might even be a step up. If you want a resume padder/excuse, just say you went overseas and backpacked. It's not the social stigma it once was, and can even be looked on favourably.

>>8627857
>we were all eggs before the sperm fertilized us.

Actual autism. Do you get triggered when someone calls a bald person an egg too? It's just a metaphor you dummy.

>>8628367
I did the exact same thing except with my mom.

>>8634621
>Actual autism.
She's trans.

>>8629004
Now we just need to find out how to spot eggs earlier.

wtf is an egg

>>8637609
You are sweetie.

>>8640119
Why? What points to that in that post?

>>8625785
Literally my story, except I went for the car exhaust method. Barely managed to hide thanks to how early I was found, I was able to play off as "just looking for something"

2nd time was just some bad intel and shit didn't kill me. I was young and stupid.

3rd I actually carried antifreeze with me at all times but friend found it, and came out to me as AMAB to share her suicide stories, and just like that, all my repressed memories came flooding back.

3 months HRT to the date. Wonderful BF who I'm gunna visit in two weeks.
Will only need minimal FFS. So I'm saving up.

Girl Life so far so good

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>>8627175
whatever happened to the one Egg?

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>15
>Went to a youth support group when repression was getting too hard
>everyone in the group were raging SJWs and reacted badly to who they perceived as being a dirty male cis scum
>more or less ran me off
>convinced myself that I couldn't be trans because of how horrible the experience was
>17
>repression is getting next to impossible again
>moved to a different far less progressive liberal city, figure it might be another horrible experience and the kick in the pants I need to get rid of my disphoria altogether
>group is fucking Hon Central Station, all stereotypically manly 40+ 'lesbians'
>"Hecking yes this is gonna suck, all I have to do is force myself to be around these people and before long I'll never want anything to do with being trans ever again!"
>drink too much poison, don't quite grasp just how creepy some of the people were being with me
>instead of bailing out, I end up getting abused
>a-a-at least I can repress again now
>more years pass
>slowly going more and more insane from repression, depression, anxiety, and PTSD
>20
>finally will up the courage to go to another group
>the people are actually great and I go ahead and start transitioning
>finally giving in completely uncorks the PTSD and now I'm literally Tumblr and getting triggered constantly
Don't repress, just don't.

>>8626437
fucking lol, I was just thinking of doing the same thing. Has anyone got that freaky picture of Cara wearing lipstick?

>>8642432
Like my biggest fear is to be lumped in with eother of those 1st groups. The main reason I repressed for as long as I did after I realized the issue.

How on earth does someone find a "good" group?

>>8625729
Are you the guy from /bant/ that punches himself in the dick?

>>8643239
Just go to a bunch I guess, learn what to look for.

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>>8642623
E A R L Y
T R A N S I T I O N E R

>>8627213
TERFs and rad fem literature are the absolute worst form of self harm for MTFs, it's all so much bullshit, but you also expose yourself to the relevant counterarguments you'll be pulled in, on the basis of self hate bias alone.

I know two trannies IRL who are TERFs and they're severely mentally fucked. And of course we also have Cara who obviously knows that they're trans, but has become so unbelievably insecure, self hating and externally hateful thanks to the TERF literature she read, still tortures herself, and others by spamming it on this board.

>>8628184
A trans person who hasn't discovered they're trans yet ("hatched")

>>8642432
>>everyone in the group were raging SJWs and reacted badly to who they perceived as being a dirty male cis scum
so it was full of autistic cis girls?

>Hon Central Station, all stereotypically manly 40+ 'lesbians'
>getting abused

jesus, why are 'support' groups almost always this bad and either sjws or hons?

>>8645099
>TERFs and rad fem literature are the absolute worst form of self harm for MTFs
Shut up and let me read it.

>>8649389
Remember that you can just be a feminine gay guy and taking estrogen is patriarchy LMAO.

>>8649389
>>8645099
Also, are they on HRT or are they repressors who have told you they are repressing?

>>8649390
But I don't like men.

>>8649396
You just want to invade women's spaces.

>>8649399
Noice.

>>8625734
Well at least there are others like me

>>8649390
Reminder anyone who uses the word "patriarchy" unironically should be rangebanned from 4chan for life.

>>8650127
The patriarchy doesn't exist anymore, but you can clearly see traces of it in Susan "Hon" culture where they have sexist attitudes towards women. It's a dying Western culture that only exists with Baby Boomers now.

>>8625710
GenderCritical is a really good blog.

If you feel like you need to alter your body in order to be at peace with yourself, that's fine, but other people aren't obligated to accept you as a woman.

>>8650150
blah blah blah smash da collective of strawmanned opinions

Heard it all before and it's just as tired now. Go be an ant person somewhere else.

>>8650164
What's an ant person? And I'm kinda serious. That culture existed decades ago, but it's long dead by now

>>8650177
>kinda serious

The fact that you're citing boomers and hons for your, ahem, "argument", leads me to believe you're 100% not serious. People tend to grow more conservative as they grow older in life, you realize?

>>8650162
>GenderCritical is a really good blog.
An hero.

>>8643239
Living in a liberal city is a good first step

>>8628137
I really relate to the first part of your post. I feel like I've lost touch with the part of me that was happier between the political climate, TERF poison, and reading this board

>>8627244
self hatred is a bitch

>>8652988
Are you saying that about the blog or the poster?

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>>8625710

>shave my legs, arms, beard, chest and pubic hair whenever I feel is necessary
>"Nobody will notice"
>after ~2 months my mom notices it... In front of other relatives, of course,
>"What? Your legs? And your arms? You must be kidding me, what's next? You shave your pubic hair too?"
>"... Yes..."
>"What? What's wrong with you??"
>"I... I just like it this way, why? Is it that important? I don't get you"
>"I don't get you either"

>>8625710
Eggposting again, bitterhons?
Don't fall for this meme.

Don't trap yourself.
Transition has no long-term proven benefits.

>>8627951
Not a wall per se, but the closet is figurative for a skeleton in your closet and coming out frees you from that burden.

>>8656565
hello again curehon, how's the hon life treating you?

>>8627244
>stop being so afraid to live how you want
>What are rednecks/thugs?

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>>8625710
>I am only an egg

>>8658334
What?

>>8625710
I used to cybersex with men when I was 11-13, pretending to be a girl and masturbating to it

My logic:
>can't find a girl to do this with, and if I do she will never be a perfect girl anyway
>so I will become such perfect girl and masturbate to her
>it's 100% straight because I'm masturbating to idea of girl

I didn't know anything about trans genderism. I thought transvestite is just a synonym of "gay man". But even tho I rationalized what I'm doing as perfectly het, I always got upset when these men I erpd with realized im a guy, and, of course, I never told anyone I did it until many year later.

After that it escalated to many-post-long forum and flist erp, where I also only played female characters, pretending to be a woman.

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>>8658782(you)
oh and also. one of the things that made me realize I have to do SOMETHING and stop testosterone from further changing me at all costs was when I met a co-eroleplayer who, even tho he claimed to be a girl, looked like a man.

He posted a blurry low quality photo of himself where, despite the darkness, I could clearly see he's a 20-something year old dude with long hair and rabbit ears. And that's when I realized that in few year I will look just like him unless I do SOMETHING ANYTHING NOW

he looked a bit like male version of Kaguya from pic related