Trans

>>8581034
Was frail and feminine all through childhood and always felt different and weird, always did girly things and didn't understand why it was a bad thing, hung out with female family members all the time and did classically feminine things and always felt out of place, the older i grew the more i felt out of place in my body and always wondered why i wasn't a girl in the first place when literally every single thing about me and how i act, my personality, and lifestyle, is all female.
people can debate back and forth weather or not a child/teen/whatever young age person can actually realize and understand they are trans, but for me at least, I knew that I didn't feel right and something was wrong with me. Finding out there were others like me and there was a name for it was comforting. Still sucks though being stuck in the wrong body.

Not only did I know what trannies were as an 8 year old I googled the effects of HRT.

The problem is, 8 year olds are not good decision makers and I didn't want to be weird I wanted to bury the weirdness and pray it never came back later.

Hah, wish that gambit paid off.

i figured out as a teen but
>as a little kid had more friends that were girls
>always played with my friend's polly pockets
>always dressed up in dresses and skirts and stuff haha just a joke though
that was all before the age of 5

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>>8581034
I was a shy sensitive baby as a kid. Didnt fit in with boys at all, they bullied me and I literally cried everyday on the playground and im not exagerating that.

First friends were girls but they started bullying me too and their was one day that a big group of girls came up to me and said i wasnt a girl and i had to play with the boys and i cried a bunch and a boy helped me and was my friend.

so i was basically a friendless loser except that a few boys tried to be my friend because none of the girls would let me play with them.

Would play with my sisters toys when no one was around, wanted to wear her clothes but i couldnt get any of them.

Asked my sister to turn me into a girl but got too scared when she wanted to show her "sister" to our parents.

sister made it very clear i wasnt allowed to play with her because i was a boy and bullied me too. I really really wanted to play with her and her friends but again she excluded me and hated me and told me i had to be friends with boys.

like at age 7 or 8 i was googling "how does a boy be a girl" and saw trans stuff but i didnt understand what it meant, i just thought oh ok thats me. didnt know about hormones or that their was anything i could do with being trans . Only thing i knew was a sex change but i knew that changing that wouldnt turn my body into a girls body.

When i was like 5 or 6 i would pray everynight that i would wake up as a real girl

>>8581034
I'd say I felt feminine when I was younger (made friends more easily with girls than boys, was fine with playing dolls with my sisters, wished I was a girl sometimes, more sensitive than other boys, et cetera), but only really knew I was trans after puberty because I was super sheltered and had no idea what trans people even existed.

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>>8581034
Yes, it is blatantly obvious to yourself when as a child, you instinctively recognize boys and men as the opposite sex.

I was basically blind and deaf until around age 6. I knew from around that time forward.

>>8581104
illegitimate

>>8581034
I don't remember directly feeling like I was a girl or anything was off when I was a kid. But I apparently I had a lot of stuff that got me bullied and turned me into a crybaby mostly because I didn't understand why I got bullied. I also had periods of time when I'd only be friends with the girls which caused me to act more like them (which got be bullied even more). I think it got a bit easier when I went to school and I think it made me act a bit more like a boy. I still got bullied a lot and I almost had to repeat a grade because of it.

I do remember making a conscious effort to be more manly around 12. Going into my teen years that also got me some female attention. Like I actually had girls crushing on me and contacting me and wanting to go out with me. And I did try but ultimately it never worked out because the manly me wasn't me but simply a defense I had built up to not get bullied. It was really hard for me to get close to people and as my group of childhood friends grew apart I only had a couple real friends left. I tried to fit in with the guy groups but that didn't work out either.

Going into high school I basically hated people, was hooked on WoW and had the outward appearance of a drug addict because I didn't give a fuck. I was a really miserable thing to be around but still somehow I made friends with the guys at my high school though we never really did anything together on our free time. I think around this time my manly persona I had created had temporarily taken over and while I hated everything it sort of numbed me and I got by. It wasn't until after high school around 2010-2011 when I really learned that transgenderism was a thing and not just some drag queen gay guy shit. I explored it a bit, slowly got into trap and tranny porn but repressed any and all thoughts that it might apply to me.

Now I'm halfway through my 20s and I still don't know what the fuck is up. I never really allowed myself to think about this stuff. Until now.

>>8581034
I knew when I was real young, came out at 11 years old which I guess is still kid age. My youngest experience of gender "rebellion" was chopping off all of my hair at 5 years old which got me a whole year of "you have a cute son". Used to always hang out with the boys and grew up as a tomboy. dont know what else to say.

>>8581034
I've heard the difference for kids (probably isn't true) is the difference between "i want to be [gender]" and "i am [gender]v

>>8581104
>that was all before the age of 5

Is it normal to have friends before 5? I didn't know any children until I went to school

Any other mtfs here sheltered or raised by some rural bunch of hicks and had no idea about most things in life until they got older?
>>8581841
jesus, I don't even have a single memory from before I was 6 or 7 years old.

>>8581841
my parents were social as hell and all their friens were having babies at the sameish time so they kinda just put us next to each other

>>8581856
>I don't even have a single memory from before I was 6 or 7 years old.
most people don't

>>8581097
I happened to find it arousing in an odd way and together with blanchard theory repressed even though I got worried at 15 about always liking breast play and vaginal stimulation and was directed to AGP. I thought I had a fertility 'fetish'. Normal guys don't get off by reading the effects of a female puberty. I sometimes still do. I have personally developed a deeply-held impregnanle shame. I have a feminine sexuality and a fat clumsy male body. I will never be happy.

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I was a pretty girly little kid growing up, but I wasn't one of those snowflakes that somehow knew way back when. My mom has a home VHS somewhere of me declaring I was a girl, but that's hardly indicative of anything. Kids do weird shit.

It wasn't until puberty set in that I was suddenly and astutely aware that I was not, in fact, down with being male. I'd look at girls my age, and then at myself, and feel dead on the inside.

Pic related summarizes my teens and early 20s.

>>8581034
FtM. Was ok until I hit puberty. I was what folks considered a tomboy, but I just rolled with it because I didn't know any better. Then I started to disassociate and started pulling out my hair although I didn't know why. Then when I got older I started to hate the opposite sex and get real fuckin envious, but hypocritically was more comfortable around guys and wary of girls. Made a lot of guy friends. I was 16 when I found out what trans people were but then I turned into a transphobe and repressed it, because I thought trans people were freaks. Fast forward to 18 and I couldn't take it any more and said I wanted to be a dude.

I realize that I'm not satisfied being female, and that I look at it more like a sick joke played on biology's part. I'll probably kill myself before I hit 40 because I'm too poor to afford therapy and hormones but terrified of looking like a saggy titted old woman.

>>8581034

This comic always bothered me because that's not how a realistic person would react.

>Dating girl for a bit
>She invites me back to her place
>Making out, takes off my shirt and leads me to the bedroom
>"Wait, before we go any further..."
>Shows me a penis

So you didn't think to trust me at any point? Did you not think "hey, maybe I should say that I'm trans; if he gets it, he gets it." I would have done and it wouldn't have changed anything, but this whole situation seems like you're trying to trap me for sex rather than anything else. Which is a hugely shitty thing to do to someone.

I mean I get that society is making people feel like revealing their birth gender is some big taboo, but that's the same shit that HIV+ people have to deal with. Let people know who you are before getting to this situation - if it's going to be a big deal to them, then big deal, they're assholes and not worth your time anyway.

>>8584347
He already knew she was trans at the time of this strip.

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>>8582981
You should off yourself gay boy

>>8584347
In the comic, Claire has already told Marten she's transh. Se's not surprising him at the last second. She's giving him one last chance to turn back with no hard feelings.

Marten, who's mother was an S&M whore and whose father was a fag, is a passive doormat without any real sense of what's normal and what isn't, pretty much just goes along with anything.

>>8584387
That's because Marten is a remnant of how Jacques felt about himself when he started writing the webcomic, the old self-insert, whereas Claire is his new self-insert, who he lives through vicariously. Marten and Claire's relationship is a rather literal depiction of AGP.

>>8581034
I'm not even really sure if I'm trans, I wanted to be a girl for the most part of my childhood, then it kinda went away like at 12 and it came back a few months ago. I have felt bad over it sometimes, but even as far back as 4 I knew this wasn't normal so I kept it a secret and never really acted GNC, at least not that I know.

ITT: effeminate gay men

>>8581034
Very few trans people realize they are trans in childhood. Normally questioning starts at puberty.

>>8581178
>sister made it very clear i wasnt allowed to play with her because i was a boy and bullied me too. I really really wanted to play with her and her friends but again she excluded me and hated me and told me i had to be friends with boys.
How did she make it clear and bully and exclude you?

>>8581580
Then I guess I'm not legitimate.

>>8584785
Realizing they are "trans" or realizing they want to be the opposite sex?

>>8584785
>>8585005
I realized i was trans at about 12. Thoughts were very early on, like wanting to wear dresses and whatnot, but i found trans porn in my middle school days and that served as my awakening. For me it was realizing i wanted to be the opposite sex, but i have since learned that i really like my penis and want to live as such

>>8584831
No you said the right one.

>>8585005
Same thing.

FtM here, and yeah, I pretty much always knew. I definitely remember thinking of myself as male as a toddler, and didn't really realize until I was about 4ish that OTHER PEOPLE actually thought I was a girl. I have a very distinct memory of the day I figured it out (basically, my preschool handed out toys coded by color for girls and boys and I was shocked I got the wrong color) and went through a really depressive period in kindergarten as a result.

I started telling my parents about it around 6-7 and insisted on cutting my hair and only wearing boy's clothing. I found out about SRS around 10ish and started telling people I was going to get that. My fifth grade teacher sat me down and explained that you have to be 18+ for that (this was before the days of "early transitioners").

I tried to repress between 12-15 to fit in, but basically gave up on it by the end of tenth grade and socially transitioned in high school.

For various reason I won't get into here, I didn't begin medical transition for a long time afterward. I pretty much just passed as a teenage boy through my twenties and poorfagged it in shitty minimum wage jobs until it hit the point that I was obviously too old to pass for a teen boy anymore. Then I managed to get a better doctor and get on T. I'm getting approved for top surgery in a few weeks, but I don't know yet what the actual timeline is on the surgery itself.

>>8581580
I have indeed read that kids who say "I AM [gender]" are much less likely to desist than kids who say "I wish I was [gender]," who might just turn out to be tomboys/fem/whatever.

That probably has a lot of false negatives, though. I know I phrased it as, "I SHOULD have been born a boy," which was the best way I could articulate, "I should be phenotypically male to match my mind" at 6.

>>8584243
Are you in school? Maybe your school's disability services can help, they sometimes get people in to see therapists for other reasons. It may be covered because you're in school.

>>8585086
>kids who say "I wish I was [gender]," who might just turn out to be tomboys/fem/whatever.
Source?

>>8585086
Yeah. I'm about to start uni in September. But I go to the same one as my sister, and I'd rather not risk her seeing me go.

>>8585070
I thought I wanted to be a girl, not that I was so I guess I'm not legitimate. That was my reasoning, I don't get your answer.

>>8585127
No, I'm paraphrasing something I read a researcher saying when I was reading pro vs. con arguments on the "should kids be allowed to transition" stuff.

Basically, it was the idea that kids who definitively state "I AM [gender]" are highly unlikely to desist and kids who don't phrase it like that are more of a crapshoot. It was, I think, a discussion of how the diagnostic criteria could be tightened up in the future to avoid false positives and "fuck you for making me a tranny, Mom and Dad!" detransitioners.

I honestly don't know where I'd find that again, I didn't bookmark it. I can try to find it again later tonight, though.

>>8585128
Dude, transitioning is not something you'd be able to hide.

>>8586334
as far as i know around 3/4ths of all gender questioning children end up being just gay - this is why reversible puberty blockers are administered and hormones only after 16.

Only way this will go away is by society being less heteronormative and children being given proper education on gender and romantic attraction from a young age.

>>8587519
>gender questioning children
The problem is including tons of children in those studies that come nowhere near diagnostic criteria.

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>>8581034
I spent a lot of my childhood saying that I wanted to be a guy. Never wanted to wear dresses, always ran around shirtless, always friends with the dudes. Loved legos, comic books, racecars, wrestling.
To be honest though, I never really thought about gender until I was 16? I realized that I didn't like how people treated me, seeing me as female. It felt...weird. Wrong.I'd always been a 'tomboy', but as I got older, people disregarded that. I didn't like it.

I'd been in at least 3 lesbian relationships by that time, and knew my sexual orientation was definitely not towards men...but I had a fascination with the male body. I soon realized it was because...I wanted to look like the guys I saved pictures of. I wanted to have short hair, no tits, get fit...It felt right. It felt comfortable. I'd take better care of myself as a man than I ever would as a woman.

Everything about being a woman felt...wrong. Periods. Bras. Makeup. Dresses and skirts, being SEEN as a girl in public, not taken seriously when I say I know what i'm fucking doing when it comes to mechanics/electronics/computers. Even being a tomboy wasn't enough, you still have that 'gender conformity" pressure around you.It sounds silly, but that shit started getting under my fucking skin.

I never cared much for gender identity, but unfortunately I do care about how other people see me. I didn't want them to think I was some gross, unkempt chick with problems. I wanted to be seen as a guy...even an ugly guy...would be better than the prettiest girl. I'll get there sooner or later.

>>8582981
If you really feel like being a girl would be better, go for it. It'd probably be a lot more worth it than suffering...gender isn't everything, but it sure can be uncomfortable when you're not the right one.

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>>8581034

>>8586334
So it wasn't actually comparing kids who say each statement?

>>8586296
>thinking you are a girl
A mistaken believe.

>wanting to be a girl
A desire to change sex.

Which of these is called being trans?
>A mistaken believe.
>A desire to change sex.

>>8587931
Cringy webcomic with a WTF ending... I don't know what to say.

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>>8584814
My sister hated me since literally the day i was born since she wanted to be an only child.

My parents raised us very differently and she ended up being increadibly mean and rebelious while i was the shy sensitive baby.

When i said my first friend was a girl she told me that i was supposed to be friends with boys.

She bullied me by yelling at me a lot and making me really scared of her.

She had tons of friends who were girls and would tell me im not allowed to play with them with her because i was a boy. She would then tell me to leave or for me to go play with her friends brothers.

>>8588942
A desire to change sex?

>>8589398
>My parents raised us very differently
How? Why?

Why was she so sexist in her bullying?

>>8589446

My parents both had abusive, controlling parents that were heavily into religion.

So they thought that they would raise my sister the exact opposite as their parents did.

that created my sister who was crazy and rebelious and yelled and screamed at my parents

My mom didnt want to fail again with me so my parents tried to raise me differently. They told me they did this, its not just me thinking it was because me and my sister turned out very differently.

I dont know all of the naunces on it from the top of my head on how they raised us differently i could probably get deeper into it if i really thought about it.

Basically my sister was allowed to do what ever she wanted, my parents would buy her everything.
Meanwhile my parents controlled everything i did and would never get me anything.
my parents would yell and scream and discipline her
but they had me scared and obident to them, i never once raised my voice because i saw them yell and be mean to her.

>Why was she so sexist in her bullying?

well i was mainly bringing up about the gender related bullying. idk why she was she just didnt like me.

>>8589600
How much older is she? Did they stop buying her everything once they had their different strategy for you?

How did they control you, besides keeping you scared by yelling at her?

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>>8589618

3 years older then me

no they kept buying her things

My parents sheltered me and wouldnt allow me to leave the house even just to walk around the neighborhood.Like that was so enstilled in me a year ago when i was 18 i asked my parents if iwas allowed to walk outside.

idk im in bad mood and sad dont feel like talking that much

>>8589746
I'm sorry anon. It's sad you had to go through that.

>no they kept buying her things
That's really unfair.

>>8581034
I knew since I was really young. My parents even let me crossdress a bit she. I was young. When it didn't stop on its own they stopped it. I was always wanting surgery. I didn't really u understand the differences in between boys and girls but.i wanted my sick cut off and fat put on my chest for boobs.

I would Google sex changes and stuff and then throw tons of take searches in Google's so my parents wouldn't notice. I didn't know how to clear history.

I went to a Baptist school and was fairly religious. I was disgusted with myself. I prayed for god to make me a girl or aliens to abduct and fix me. I eventually repressed and got into trans and forced fem porn. I was disgusted because I wanted dick so bad. I wanted cis girl life.

All I saw of real trans people were older bad discovery channel shows and Jerry sroi ger. I thought I'd be a freak if I transitionex. I didn't know about hormones. Eventually found out about hormones in college.

I went full time for 2 years before hormones because I couldn't afford them but I couldn't live as male. It took a while to pass and i spent a lot of time presenting female using mens rooms because I was hiding it from my parents and didn't want to fight with a school in the south about bsthrooms. No one beat me up so that was cool. I was hella scared tho.

>>8581034
I always knew I wanted to be a girl but I lived under a rock to the point that I wasn't even aware of what a trans person exactly is until high school. When I did know, I just pretended like it was a fetish thing and that I'd get over it eventually. Problem is I kept wanting to be a girl more and more to the point that I couldn't have a normal relationship where I took on the male role. At 19, I realized I'd be a depressed piece of shit all my life if I didn't start taking hormones. So I went to a non-gatekeeper therapist in town here and in just a few months I had an endo referral. I've been on hormones for a little over a month.

>>8581034
I had a weird childhood. While on the one hand my family was 50's style (dad went to work, mom stayed at home, cooked, and cleaned) my mom was a tomboy and never ever wore dresses or skirts. So i never really associated the clothing with the gender role. Her father was an alcoholic, and she ended up beaten down and quiet. My dad acts similar to her dad minus the alcohol, grew up in a small town, and is extremely homophobic to match.

I didnt know of gender as separate from sex until college, and though I think I saw a few unpassing trans people growing up, my dad led me to believe they were intersex and called them "he-she's" (he's a biologist).

When I was a kid, I mimicked things my mom did like learning to cook, learning to sew, and learning to knit. These things happened before I was 10 years old, though I still cook and sew now. I didn't have any interest in sports, and luckily as my dad was indifferent about sports I was never forced into it. My first good friends were female NEETs so I continued to live in a "girls all wear jeans" world. I remember talking to my brother and told him I wished I could be a girl at some point in early high school. I also remember developing a habit of picking at my face when I started getting facial hair that I still have now. In high school I got over my homophobia and when I finally heard of trans people in college, I got over my transphobia and promptly fell into a deep depression as I realized I was trans over the next year.

And look at me now, I'm a tremendous faggot who is taking estrogen.

>>8581034
>kinda wanted to be a girl, starting around 5th grade
>always treated a little differently, always a little weird
>exclusively female friends until my parents started commenting on it
>started pretending I was masc

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>>8581034
If someone had to ask me the first time I thought I might be trans, it would've been when I was 4 or 5. I remember seeing my Mom put on her makeup at a vanity, curling her eyelashes. it looked super complicated, and I remember thinking "wow, I can't wait until she teaches me how to do that!".

outside of that, i crossdressed infrequently as a child. whenever i got caught, i just got super embarrassed and didn't talk about it. wanting to be a girl was one of those things i was just conditioned into knowing wasn't ok. so I'd just secretly wish for it. i didn't know what a tranny was until i was like 11, and i didnt do research into it more until i was like 14.

until then, I was a very fat, very sensitive boy. I didn't have many friends. one of my family's arguments that i wasn't REALLY trans was that they were under the impression that if I were, i would've told them when i was like fucking 5. that's just it though, when your culture conditions you not to talk about that shit and to feel like you're doing something wrong by being feminine, you try your best to suppress your emotion.

so OP, if you're worried about not being trutrans enough, rest assured that if you didn't have expressive feelings about your gender identity when you were 6 or whatever, that's perfectly normal. hell there are plenty of people who don't know until pubescence and they realize they hate the changes their body is making to them.

anyways, sorry for a long ranty bullshit post.

>>8591275
How were you weird? How did you pretend to be masc?

>>8590068
That was pretty fucked up. When did you finally start hormones? Do you pass? Did you pass before HRT?

When I was in first grade, the teacher split the class up into girls and boys, and I went to the girl side.

When I was in second grade, a teacher saw me going into the girl's bathroom, and grabbed me by the arm and yelled "Don't ever do that again!"

In fourth grade, my older brother caught me playing with my sister's Barbie dolls, and frankly informed me, in his own boyish way, that this was gender-inappropriate and possibly suggestive of an unfavorable sexual persuasion (I believe "that's gay" was his precise wording, but my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be).

So I had an inkling that something was a little "off" about me, but I had no real concept of transsexuality, and eventually accepted that if everyone thinks of me as a boy, then I guess I'm a boy. At ten years old you aren't likely to overthink these things. I knew I hated my birth name, but I didn't know why. I just knew I'd rather be called Mercedes.

Puberty was rough. I hated the changes that were happening to my voice, I tied my hair up into buns and pretended to be Sailor Moon when no one else was around, I had my first kiss with a boy, and I hung out in LGB chat rooms ("LGBT" wasn't a thing yet) where I went by the name Sabrina. I was frequently picked on at school for being "queer" or "feminine", and I had to learn to be less girly.

It wasn't until I was about 14 or 15 that I finally realized that I'm a trans girl. At around 16-17, I started coming out as trans to a few people I was really close to. I dated a bisexual girl, who called me Chelsea (I changed my name a lot during these formative years) and helped me pick out makeup and clothes.

Does this sound more like an AGP or HSTS narrative?

>>8591315
AGP, of a feminine bent.

Dating a girl, learning to be less girly and presenting as a girl online aren't HSTS.

>>8591315
>having a girlfriend

Did you actually like her, or did you just want to appear more "normal" and/or "straight" to your friends?

How was the sex?

>>8591315
This sounds like a fairly typical AGP narrative starting from puberty.

The pre-puberty stuff is probably a revisionist history you came up with (either consciously or subconsciously) to make it look more valid.

>>8591298
I started hormones 23. I pass pretty well. No one st my job knows. I have things I don't like I want to fix with few. But like I never have issues any more in public. I wish I started earlier.

Fun fact I didn't come out of my parents until 1 month before they came to visit me afterni moved go another state and I had been on hormones 1 year. And I was right to hide it in college because they basically said if I had told thrm.in college they would have pulled me put of school.

Honestly... I was lucky. I've had surprisingly little amounts of adversity and I can't really imagine my transition being any easier. I just wish i started sooner.

>>8591357
That's a moot point, since traditionally most trans narratives are exaggerated/falsified to appease the prejudices of gatekeeping psychiatrists.

>>8591298
And to answer I was eventually able to pass fairly well with makeup and hair growth before hrt. But it was a really hard and honestly hrt helped my face a lot. It also took my depression from wanting to be dead all the time to having moderately infrequent episodes
Honestly id be dead if hrt didn't exist.

>>8591345
Notice that she was bisexual. An HSTS wouldn't have a particular reason to date a bi girl. But for an AGP it would be an opportunity to date someone who might see her as a girl more than straight girls would. A way to be a lesbian while still presenting male.

>>8591357
AGP can manifest pre-puberty. Exceptionally feminine AGPs and AGPs who want to be a girl pre-puberty do exist

>>8591382
No, narratives exist from parents and other adults, not tampered with by the child.

>>8591406
Gtfo

>>8591329
idk it sounds pretty similar to Laura Jane Grace's narrative.

Having trans feelings in early childhood, but having enough social savvy not to show it. Denying and repressing like fuck, fucking women and doing lots of drugs to alleviate dysphoria. I don't think Laura Jane Grace is AGP, do you?

>>8591432
>I don't think Laura Jane Grace is AGP, do you?

>Spouse(s)
>Tiffany Kay (m. 2000; div. 2004)
>Heather Hannoura (m. 2007; div. 2013)

>>8591435
>le "marriage = AGP" meme

Die.

>>8591234
I didn't really have many friends in school and stayed home most of the time (though I was involved in boy scouts, and was described as looking "soulless"), so again, my mom was one of the only models of how women acted.

I should probably mention that in high school I had "girlfriends," (all tomboys, some who have come out as lesbian later) and I made out with two of them, but I never had sex, and when the opportunity came in junior year of high school, I ended up breaking up with her soon after there was a.. Er.. Close call. The idea of penetrating her freaked me out. She tried giving me a blowjob at one point, I was very not into it, but I couldn't really understand why at the time.

When I came out to my old friends this past month, they told me they weren't surprised.

So /tttt/, AGP or HSTS?

I honestly think I'm a really sheltered HSTS that didn't realize anything until I started thinking about myself instead of staying unhurt by my dad's weekly tantrums, working so I didn't disappoint him, and dating girls to prove I was straight to him.

>>8591443
Dude I love Laura Jane Grace, but let's face it, she's basically Caitlyn Jenner for democrats.

If you manage to make it to 30 without either starting HRT or committing suicide, you aren't trans.

>>8591457
I'm not the person you're replying to but she did an interview on npr and it sounded like a normal case of repression with no good info on how to start in earlier years and an inability to fund it

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>>8591472
>world-famous rock star
>an inability to fund it

>>8591457
>a look into Arin Hanson's future

>>8591480
She's also from the south, so you know, keep that in mind. I grew up in Kentucky and I repressed like hell.

>>8591457
Once again you people overlook the power of abuse and medical prevention from transitioning.

It's not common, but it IS possible to be over 30 and transition and definitely be trans. Account for those who did not have/do not have access to info and the number goes up even more.

>>8591480
1. Doesn't have as much money as you think
2. They were already olde then this started
3. Listen to the interview and you can kind of.see how it happened

>>8591234
>>8591447
There isn't anything that confirms either way, but what with the dating I'd tentatively say AGP.

>>8591503
>1. Doesn't have as much money as you think
If she had enough money to snort cocaine every weekend, she could have afforded HRT.

>>8591345
We only had sex once, and it wasn't consensual on my part. So, not great.

>>8581034
Genderfluid, leaning mtf trans. On a cocktail of hormones.
No, I was just a stupid little boy growing up. Shy. Timid. Nervous. Always felt naked. Couldn't put my finger on it. Walked like a girl when no one was looking. Didn't think much of it. Hated my voice. Didn't think. Really did some experimenting in college.

>>8591482
Kek. Why do you think he is a tranny?

>>8591626
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv-IVUXpzeQ&feature=youtu.be&t=3m24s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCpbf72yJ58
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjng0TSgaSI

The last two could have just been "for fun", or to be funny, but the SRS thing is pretty telling, and puts the other stuff in a different context.

>>8591357
I knew this Blanchard crap would infest this thread. If someone doesn't fit the narrative they're either accused of not being truthful (even if not intentionally), or some BS like pseudohet is made up to keep the meme alive. Disgusting.

>want to get a baby doll i saw on tv when i was 5
>get called a fag by family
>be raped at a daycare by a daddy multiple times because you annoyed them by "wanting" to be a girl
>be choked at home when i do something

idk

Wouldn't particularly say I was fine during childhood, but never really explored it until puberty hit. The youngest signs I can remember is trying to play with my sister's toys all the time, and taking a cheer-leading baton from a sports camp as a prize in lower elementary school. During music classes when there was singing I'd always pick the female songs, and for some reason did one in the talent show (why my parents didn't stop that one I'll never know). I also had almost no male friends up until middle school, at which point it became about a 50/50 split.

I was pretty sheltered as a kid with a homophobic father (that ended up fucking my sister, some standards there), so didn't have a chance to explore til I ended up finding some chatrooms that had other trans people in them. Started identifying online as female somewhere around 12, told a few close friends in middle school, and really started exploring with dressing and the likes during the teenage years once I had some privacy.

Probably would have figured it out sooner if I was exposed, but it didn't particularly jump out at me until puberty (or right before).

>>8591718

this is 4chan and idk if ur trollin or not, but if that really happened to you i really wish you the best and hope u know that ur not alone ((at least universally.))

Hard to tell; I was definitely weird as a kid in ways that others here describe (shy, sensitive, etc), but trying to remember how I actually felt back then is like a big white space in my head. I'm not good with memories from when I was younger. The main conviction I remember having at a young age about what I "was" was that I was God, so it seems like I had loftier goals then. For a long time all I wanted to do was play videogames or be on the internet, and I didn't go to school so a lot of my experience was, and still is, somewhat removed from my body (these days also melded into each other because I rarely did anything exciting, so that's probably part of why I have so little memory of it). I want to say I maybe thought that being a girl would be better by late teens maybe. I feel like I was really naive and disconnected from my feelings for a lot of my life, though, as a result of having such a weird upbringing, so it's only at this point, unfortunately, that I'm coming to terms with them.

>>8591755
i wish i was trolling

but im rly okay i dont get choked anymore or hit but i was threatened with murder the other day so idk im moving out soon though

Disclaimer, I don't consider myself a 'transgirl' yet, all things considered, I'm still thinking about whether it would be worthwhile transitioning or if I could even justify the status of being 'trans' to myself.
Anyway, I was 17 when I first, like, learned about being transgender. Beforehand, I knew about it but my extent of knowledge was like "People who changed genders." As a kid, I was sensitive and shy to some extent (still am) and I did grow up doing mostly boy things (I played soccer in 1st grade but that was the extent of me playing sports). I also played a lot of video games, I was pretty much a normal nerd as a kid. Then, high school rolls around and I join theatre. In high school theatre, you're around girls like 90% of the time, since it's so female-dominated. Being in theatre sorta opened up my 'feminine' side, so to speak. I started singing and dancing spontaneously, I talked with a higher pitch, I embodied more effeminate mannerisms, so to speak (it's gotten to the point that a lot of people think I'm gay). Like I said earlier I didn't think I could possibly be trans until I was 17 and somehow I got into researching transgender-related topics. I'm 18 now for reference.
If you're feeling confused about your gender, if you feel like you're in a similar situation like me, you might just take this as a sign that you're probably just an effeminate male/AGP/both. It's easy to be confused by all the narratives that sound like people just 'knew' from the start that they were trans, so this is a different narrative from someone who probably isn't trans but got far enough as to question their gender.

>>8591457
>Your experiences aren't real if you don't suffer as much as me

When I was a kid aside from being really sensitive I really related to girls and preferred being around them, rather than guys. I remember we had a bunch of people over and all the guys whent hunting with my dad and I stayed behind with the girls. In elementary school we had girl vs. boys pretend games and I would try to defect to the girls side. Being conflicted over the gender option in pokemon I tried crossdressing in my moms clothes a few times and really enjoyed it. We whent to a turtle aquarium on a field trip where they handed out "passports" about turtles depending on our gender and I was upset over not getting the girl one. I hated the idea of becoming masculine.. I got called a girl on accident several times and felt really proud. And I wanted to be a girl.

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>>8581178
That's sad.

>>8589746
Been caged up before too.

I didn't start experiencing dysphoria until I was 28. There were minor signs when I was a child (playing with girls toys, identifying more with female characters on tv/in movies, etc) but I had never really given the possibility any thought.

>>8581034
I was 9 or so in kindergarten and I usually pissed myself scared most of the time, was even scared of being in the restrooms alone. Anyway I preferred my hair long and had a bowl cut with long bangs going at the time and my mom convinced me a girl's sweater was a boys until a classmate pointed it out making fun of me. (threw it away with regret so other kids would stop.)

Shortly after that I cut my eyebrows off thinking it was normal. The next day at school the moms laughed and pointed at me, even dragging me back to just keep laughing at me with other moms for trying to be like a girl? I didn't know, I mainly saw women and was alone by myself in class or outside so I assumed no one would care.

Minor stuff happened in between. Like weird attraction or boys doing weird stuff to me.

High-school when I was a junior - senor my voice's tone sounded lighter than normal sometimes and I just thought it was me being a late bloomer until someone recorded me. A teacher told me a lot of people thought I was gay or something else when I asked... I spent the rest of my time away from people until I graduated. ( I didn't know I behaved or sounded that way. It felt comfortable but nerve-racking, I did have anxiety in high-school so I chose to be plain, to ignore it, and be alone.)

I got over my fear of being alone and in the dark as a kid, embracing it in college. Not in an edge-lord way since people kept asking me for cigs or lighters, even weed. Anyway, I realized a lot of the stupid shit I did including the above and it left me questioning what it really was and it left me depressed, balding, and over-weight trying to figure out myself. Sleepless too.

People have always told me I seem like a person who would do something special but what scares me is by the time I do that I would've accepted what I wanted to deny and I don't want to be gay instead I'd rather wanted to be female so people wouldn't have mocked my lack of strength and manhood when I was younger.

>>8584397
Is this why I could spend hours upon hours reading that godawful comic? Unconsciously felt what he was doing and self inserted myself as Claire.

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>>8592787
Now I just gave up and decided to be a husk, I'll loose my weight and shave myself clean then I'll just solely collect money like the rest to survive.

>>8591286
You passed pre hrt.

>>8591357
>The pre-puberty stuff is probably a revisionist history you came up with (either consciously or subconsciously) to make it look more valid.
This. Your memories aren't really reliable nor are you reliable as an objective observer of them. You tend to cherry pick stuff that works or pretend things imply or mean something when they actually didn't.

But I wouldn't go as far as to say that even your memories a few years ago can be questionable. Especially on people who have repressed hard. What's important is how you feel right now and what it means for your future.

>>8591410
Are you pretending that parents' memories are any better than your own? They're just as untrustworthy. They'll suddenly start seeing "oh we should've known" tier stuff everywhere in their memories about their child growing up.

>>8591382
But we shouldn't need to exaggerate narratives in here. There's no need to be proving anyone anything here.

>>8592823
>They'll suddenly start seeing "oh we should've known" tier stuff everywhere in their memories about their child growing up.
They're more likely to go into denial and think you never had any signs even if everyone else remembers you as the school faggot

>>8591657
So they talk tranny stuff during a Wind Waker episode and Arin makes jokes... I still don't think he is a tranny.

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>>8591286
socially constructed GENDER ROLES =/= Gender identity guys

dysphoria often clears up after childhood
>Out of 140 gender dysphoric boys, 122 of them desisted, 88% of them. https://tspace.library.utoronto.ca/bitstream/1807/34926/1/Singh_Devita_201211_PhD_Thesis.pdf If you aren't satisfied with the study above here are a few more: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18981931/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25231780 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2697020/#!po=45.0000 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18194003/ Most of these studies also clearly show that Desistance isn't a myth, and that puberty greatly effects gender dysphorias outcome, and most importantly that a very large proportion of gender dsyphoric children grow up to be bisexual or gay adults. LA Times also had a good article on the subject, (http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-soh-trans-feminism-anti-science-20170210-story.html )

>>8593308
And for some of us puberty makes dysphoria 1000x worse.

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>>8593073
Just seems weird that he knows so much about SRS and how transition will affect ten-year-olds as opposed to older people, and how he comes out in support of people transitioning at a young age. Especially when it's unrelated. Seems like he's been researching, and has convinced himself that it's no use transitioning at his age.

>>8593634

I feel bad for him if he is trans :/

>>8593636
In a recent episode, Danny was like "I can't believe you're going to be a father someday!" and Arin was like ".... someday..." and the more Danny kept talking about Father's Day, the more obviously disgruntled he got. Or maybe he's just trying to hide Suzy's pregnancy.

>>8593677
I'll have to go back and watch the relevant episodes. I haven't watched game humps in so long.

>>8593612
>being dysphoric pre-puberty

I had inklings of wanting to be a girl when I was a kid, but it was nothing but the usual kid drivel. I never thought much of it.

At 12 or 13, I distinctly remember stealing a wig my Mom had and stuffing my shirt to look like a girl in the mirror. Probably my first memorable red flag.

Decided "I was happy with being a boy" (This was bullshit) up until I was 18 and then the depression kicked in. Lived in a horrible malaise of self-loathing all through college. At 21 I met a transgirl online, met up, and started dating. She immediately saw that I was an egg and helped me genuinely dress up as a girl for the first time. It felt really nice, but I unfortunately just kept repressing until I was 22.

Most of my genuine dysphoria and misery didn't hit me until after puberty, when I realized just how horrible I felt about my body. Now I'm just kicking myself for not transitioning earlier.

>>8593851
your mom owns wigs?
is she a vegas showgirl?

>>8593892
Lots of middle-aged women own wigs. Don't be a weirdo.

>>8593901
no they don't
women haven't worn wigs since the 60s

>>8593907
Yep, you're right. Not a single woman has worn a wig in almost sixty years. They stopped existing altogether after the great wig purge of '62, where ashes of wigs past rose to the sky.

Dingus.

>>8593921
Show me a picture of a woman wearing a wig in the past 30 years.
Hard mode: no drag queens

>>8593968
I'm not going to justify the fact that my mom owned wigs as a kid to some random on the internet. Why are you being autistic about something like that?

>>8593968
I mean, niggers almost don't count, but Ive worked with several who wear wigs.

>>8593968
Literally any of those exaggerated instagram thots

There used to be a bit of stigma against wigs but I imagine it wasn't so universal nobody but cancer patients and performers used them

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>>8593308
>In another study, published in 2016, researchers used a larger sample in conjunction with higher-resolution neuroimaging and were able to successfully classify a brain by its sex 93% of the time.
>To demonstrate this, we acquired T1-weighted structural MRI scans
How weird/unlikely to be successful would it be to email the researchers and ask if they could try to guess my gender from my mri scan

>>8581097
Similar circumstances here.

>figure out i'm probably trans around age 12
>decide that maybe the dysphoria will just go away because of puberty
>try to repress for 6 years
>absolutely collapse and spiral into severe depression once I hit 18

Luckily it turned out okay, but I still regret trying to repress. My parents are pretty supportive and well off so I probably would've been able to transition as a kid had I not been so dumb.

>>8594519
Ouch that sucks

>>8593634
If Arin really is trans it would really suck knowing he had such a good chance.

>>8594519
This, only I'm 18 and still repressing.

same as plenty itt

>be 11, already pissing myself to get off, wanted to be girl
>be 15, crossdress and like dicks, become a little emotionally dominant so only into strong masc men or smug bitches domming me
>be 17, get job, realise i want to be a girl outside too, lose the anime shit
>be 18, oh fuck this isnt enough why am i crying so much despite being cutie
>go to lgbt
>oh wow i need to talk to a psychiatrist
>oh wow i need hormones quick
now waiting on endo

>>8592603
w-what kinda cage? :3

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>>8587931
Everything went better than expected

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>tfw didn't find out until 14 and wasn't overly feminine during childhood
god why am I disgusting agp fetishist freak
I'll never have a feminine personality
I'll never have cis female friends
im not a real girl, im not even a real transgirl
kill me

>>8595135
I wanted to be a girl since 4 but I wasn't feminine. Were you not feminine because you repressed or because you really weren't?

>>8595822
I don't think I was repressed. The first time I remember thinking anything close to "I want to be a girl" was when puberty was just starting I think I was 12 there were a few times I thought "If I could choose I'd be a girl but I'm not so whatever" although I did crossdress a few times when I was younger

>>8586334
>transitioning is not something you'd be able to hide

Kinda late on this one but you're a little wrong about that. Me and my folks fucking hate each other and the only person I genuinely like in the family is old as balls. I can sure as shit hide it until I'm ready to transition, then move to another state and never look back.

>>8595135
You could still develop a feminine personality and make cis female friends if you start around that age. It's not too late for you.

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>>8581034
Always known and always been a girl.
Ive never been a male.
Ive been forced to crossdress against my will the majority of my life.
Im now finally mentally stable enough from all of this psychologically damaging shit happening to me to start being myself.

Anyone who is "switching genders" or is "male to female" etc is a transtrender and a delusional beta faggot fuck who's going to ruin their life by pretending to be something they are not.

If you dont have overwhelming gender dysphoria or transitioned immediately then you aren't trans.
You can't just be one gender and magically say OH MY GOD IMA GURRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
go fuck yourself.

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>>8596406
>mentally stable
>that entire post

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>>8596593
>I'm a complete failure as a male
>girls have things sooo much easier
>maybe senpai will notice me if I transition
>I dont really like dicks b-b-but I guess I can force myself
>wow look at all this attention im getting!
>I must really be transsexual!
>ooooOOO I can feel all the gender dysphoria that I convienently forgot/didnt realize I was actually experiencing!
>p-p-p-atriarchy!!!!
>I know what would be a good girl name? *scratches beard*
>oh I know maybe Narcissa or maybe Dannielle!
>people sure do like my instagram pictures of me posing in women's restrooms
>S-s-s-safe s-s-space!
>N-n-NAZI!!!!!
>I bet I look cute in this adult diaper and matching pink frilly tu-tu
>Better dance in front of a mirror
>why are people playing goodbye horses on my videos and reuploading them?
>they must be j-j-jealous haters
>I hate all these cis people
>Im glad all my friends are non-binary now
>w-w-what should my pronouns be?
>welp IMA LADY NOW
>time to cut off my dick

Enjoy your shotgun when you realize youre not really trans.

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>>8596680
>mentally stable
>that entire post

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>>8596680
W E W
E
W

>>8596691
>>8596729
When I say mentally stable I meant being able to go out in public like a normal human being not freaking the fuck out from social anxiety problems over things that dont exist because I have body dysmorphia. That I'm not going to faint and shit from not eating for days at a time because Im anorexic as fuck. Not for any stupid reasons you faggots keep memeing about. Whatever makes you feel confident about yourself hun.

>>8596784
That long greentext you typed up said a whole lot more about you than it did about anyone else, Anon

>>8592823
>Are you pretending that parents' memories are any better than your own? They're just as untrustworthy. They'll suddenly start seeing "oh we should've known" tier stuff everywhere in their memories about their child growing up.
They're unreliable too, true, but it's a safeguard to catch some trans exaggerated/falsified histories.

>>8597482
An extremely poor one


Best source of info would be probably old classmates

>>8598321
What if you represssed, specially at school?

>>8591661
This is what happens when you embrace unfalsifiable speculation and navel gazing as truth. It cannot be disproven in any potential situation on Earth, so it mutates into bullshit stacked on top of bullshit stacked on top of bullshit. It's like kek! Aren't you laughing yet? isn't it funneh yet? LOL ALT KNOWLEDGE!!!! LOL IT'S 2017!!! LOL TRUMP'S IN OFFICE! SO FUNNEH LOOOOOOOL LIKE LE NOLAN JOKER!

>>8598321
Every safeguard helps.

>>8598338
That's part of the point, AGP repress, HSTS can't help being feminine.

>>8598356
[citations needed]

>>8598338
Well they wouldn't know any more than your parents, other people can only provide info on how you were perceived

But if you want to know if you were gnc in childhood or not they're a good source of info
>spent most of the day with you
>most likely don't care about you enough to be biased

Parents on the other hand are even worse than trannies themselves, they usually don't spend that much time with their kids and generally have no clue what's going on, but are heavily biased towards one of the outcomes

>>8598356
It doesn't if it doesn't work at all

>>8598365
I don't even wanna know what my classmates would say about me.
>>8598356
How can a 4 yo be AGP?

>>8598478
Blanchardian AGP is a meme

>>8598478
>How can a 4 yo be AGP?
The female gender identity is there at age 4, the AGP develops later, probably a reaction to puberty.

>>8598907
>>8598887
But I've been repressing since 4. Which would mean I've been AGP since 4. WTF?

>>8599864
AGP type trans = repressive/hidden trans
It starts on average about 8, arousal often comes later

There two main ways people look at this
>AGP is an orientation and can show non-erotically in before puberty just how homosexuality does
>AGP is caused by repressed gender identity, not the other way around

>>8598907
>The female gender identity is there at age 4, the AGP develops later
[citation needed]

>>8581034
I was a girl all the way through childhood but didnt realize it was called being a tranny til my late teens.

>>8599899
Now I get it. But I don't feel arousal a the thought of being a woman. If I think about it I just get sad and dysphoric af.

>>8600984
Again there are two main ways people look at this
>since AGP in transsexuals is a sexual orientation and not a fetish it can cause romantic longing for your female self without sexual attraction
>Blanchardian AGP is bullshit and AGP is a symptom not a cause
I'm mostly in the second camp personally

>>8603036
I'd say AGP being a coping mechanism would be somewhat true. As much as thinking of that makes me dysphoric (so AGP would be discarded), some weird kind of interpersonal AGP could explain why I like the kind of women I like.

>>8581034
How prone are trans people to "historical revisionism" on this subject?

>>8581034
MtF here.
I barely remember anything about my childhood. I know I never gave a fuck about being a boy or girl. Probably because I grew up with a cousin my age and she was really boyish for a girl. I think an aunt said once she should have been the boy and I the girl but whatever.

When I was around 10 I really noticed the difference because at that time we got seperated from the girls in school and things. I remember wishing to just magically get a vagina at that age.

At 13 I was so depressed I just prayed to any higher beeing that might be out there to turn me into a girl although I dont believe in god. I was just so desperate.

Didn't know trans was a thing until I turned 16 and saw a documentary on TV. Was about an early transitioner (like 12 years old) and I thought it was too late now. Tried to repress until I had a huge break down at 21. Am on HRT since shortly after I turned 22.

>>8603255
Enough for it to be a well-known phenomenon.

>>8603266
>she should have been the boy and I the girl
This hurts, anon.

>>8585005
>>8585070
Majority realize it during childhood, only that the majority of those coming to male dominated spaces realized it later on in life.

>>8599995
Not the anon you were replying to but the gender identity manifesting around age 4-6 is a thing. I saw it mention in my intro psychology class although I never went into developmental psychology.
Wait, I was off. Its 5-7 years, excuse me.
Also, AGP is bullshit.

Citation:
-Martin, C.; Ruble, D. (2004). "Children's Search for Gender Cues Cognitive Perspectives on Gender Development". Current Directions in Psychological Science. 13 (2): 67–70. doi:10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00276.x

TL;DR: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity#Age_of_formation

>>8604053
>the AGP develops later
[citation needed]

>>8604131
You dont need a citation for that because agp isnt a real thing.

>>8604155
It was a mistake to think you could be engaged with.

>>8603417
Can you explain this better?

>>8604176
No. It was a mistake to think you had anything worth engaging with.

>>8603266
>When I was around 10 I really noticed the difference because at that time we got seperated from the girls in school and things.
I hated that although it didn't happen much for me. What did it happen to for you?

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It made me really happy to grow my hair out and wear androgynous clothing and be mistaken for a girl all the time, and then really depressed to hit puberty and have that all come to a screeching halt.

I didn't really put 2 and 2 together until I was 19 though.

I was a stupid kid.

I'm a weird case. I literally didn't even start questioning until 19. During high school I knew I was different as I didn't feel straight or gay as a guy. Now I'm 20 and 2 months on hormones :)