I just realized something... The people who have tormented and

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>>8565705
Most of the people here are just the same as the bullies I had, but now they've put on a "trans mask" so they feel like they're allowed to be around and torment me 24/7.

well why not get outside your comfort zone and try something new? what do you have to lose?

>you will never cuddle and care for a sad qt mtf

feels bad man

>>8565726
I literally can't talk to people anymore.
If I try to form a sentence I just end up tripping over myself and sounding like I'm having a stroke.
So most of the times I just give people a one word response which just makes me look autistic af.

Sounds like you're holding yourself back.

I understand too well what you're going through, I wish I had the answer for you.

if it's any consolation I know your pain and hope you can overcome it. Or at least be happy. You deserve that.

>>8565713
Holy fucking lmao Cara nobody would bully you if you wouldn't be such an insane cunt

>>8565753
Being an insane cunt is not a reason to bully someone

t. an insane cunt

>>8565756
When Cara goes into threads specifically to bully people/makes threads specifically to bully people, she's the bully, not the people telling her she's a cunt.

>>8565762
Das not cool

But bullying a bully doesn't solve anything either

>>8565767
Cara has been here for years senpai she's not gonna go away if we're just nice
The only thing we can do is bully her either into killing herself or transitioning, and it's looking like the former is finally gonna happen.
And no, a stalker freak does in fact deserve that.

>>8565705
>I'm all alone in my apartment playing videogames and watching anime all day.
>I go outside for 30 minutes every 2 weeks to buy groceries.
>I take my mones so at least my mind is at ease for the most time.
>I even pass as female now but it doesn't do me any good.
>I'm to socially awkward to make any friends irl or online.
Same tbqh my familia. Except in my case it's ender-bending mangos..

>>8565705
>tfw same but I don't pass
I don't know how to help you I can't even help myself to be honest.

>>8565767
>It's a 'You cant fight bullies with violence! Just tell them to stop!' episode
Fuck off, mom. Cara is a schizo bully and he should leave this board.

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>>8565705
The people who used to bully you have their own problems. Life isn't fair , no. And if you say that you were treated that way then I believe you and I'm sorry that really sucks and shouldn't have happened. People can be really awful to each other some times, it's part of life. But you can't let that hold you back forever. I think that once you realize how much you have to give your life will start getting better and better. Start doing positive things. What do you enjoy? Are you going to school? You get what you give. That's awesome that you pass as a girl, I'm jelly. May still go back on hrt but I'm not sure. I got scared and backed out. Not sure if I'm in it completely

>>8565739
have you tried visualizing conversations? I used to be really awkward around people, but i started visualizing myself talking to people and simulating conversations and where they would go and that helped me a lot.

It's not like it will be an instant change, but you can take baby steps, like maybe get into the habit of saying hello to the people that work at the grocery store you frequent, and then slowly build on that once you gain more confidence.

You mentioned that you game, maybe try some multiplayer games and talk with some of the other people playing the game.

Is there any family members that you feel close to? If there is, maybe talk to them about your problems, it is better to unwind then to keep your emotions bottled up.

You can do it anon, you just have to try and try and try, and after a while you will realize you aren't trying at all because you did it.

>>8565705
I've realized that too. I've long ago radically axed back the video games though. No anime now either.

I'm tracing back who it was that really targetted me. So, who I've lately really put my finger on, in this mega-superficial vapid world-city, is this one 2nd generation Polish artfag, who in particular aimed fanatically at me over being a "nerd". No one got along with me, but he made it seriously personal that way. That jolly little freak with the extensive facial hair. Last time I heard, he was struggling with a psych major.

>>8565705
Why am I always attracted to people like you OP? I want to help you, even as a friend. Let's talk, you got discord or a Throwaway?

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>Track your bully down
>Find out every detail about him
>Be friendly to him
>Start spreading rumors about him
>Preferably about him fucking children
>Tell their GF/BFs about their darkest secrets
>Or put loads of drugs in their apartment
>They will probably break up
>Pay someone with vagina warts to fuck him
>Sneak child porn into his apartment
>Forge a video of him raping someone
>It doesn't matter if it looks bad
>You can say you were there
>Police would find the CP
>He goes to prison
>Build a hut in the middle of nowhere
>Buy a operating table and equipment
>Make a human-sized vat of Hydrofluoric acid
>Capture his family
>After he gets out of prison, capture him
>Cut all their limbs off
>Wait for them to heal
>Start putting his family in the acid
>Dump them in order of oldest to youngest
>Laugh as they die painful deaths
>Save the actual bully for last
>Cut his ears off and feed them to him
>Cut his genitals off and feed them to him
>Let him try to escape
>Drag him back over thorns
>To finish him, put him in a cage
>Add hungry rats
>Watch as he gets devoured
>???
>profit

>tfw spent entire childhood and teenage years as "that kid" who'd stick up for other kids being bullied and fight the bullies.

I remember the reason I started to do it, I was being bullied, but then my Bully's decided to bully my little brother, and his friends. They were all pretty skinny so it wasn't very hard to knock them on their asses. After that day I started training, so that it doesn't happen to anyone, not just my brother or me or his friends.

Sometimes when you're bullied, you have to take it as motivation not just to protect yourself, but to protect others, you're a good person at heart anon. And if you're willing to let them win, then I swear by God I won't, let me help you, you don't have to lose.
Don't accept defeat. Never accept defeat at the face of a bully.

>>8565945
*the bullies were skinny

maybe instead of being a liitle bitch fuccboi, you could of stood your ground like a real man and shown some backbone

>>8565705
/pol/ here

you let them win,stop being a cuck and start pushing your boundries of comfort

you avoid crowds? go to crowded places like super markets and keep it up

they win when you roll over,now stop being a sissy

>>8565705
Where do you get the money for this? Autismbux? Or just working from home?

>had dream I had sex with my bully once years later
What did I mean by this

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>>8565705
I have similar story about being bullied

So what did your bullies do to you?

>>8566275
>/pol/ acting like it does loterally anything but acting alpha on their safe-placey board

Seems about right.

Ok, so socially awkward person with some friends here. I know that some libraries in my area have book clubs and anime clubs. See if that's the case with yours. Maybe you'll eventually be able to befriend some of the members? At any rate, that's where I met my friends.

Also, many online communities have Discords. Sign up for that. No one really gives a shit about whether or not you use their voice channels, in my experience, so feel free to stick with the text chat, if that's what's you're comfortable with. Just take it slow.

At least, that's what worked for me. Your experience may vary. Anyways, I believe in you, dear.

>>8566476
>So what did your bullies do to you?
Not OP but you answer this too.

>>8565729
Why don't you go find a sad qt mtf then?>>8565729

What's really sad is that there's plenty of guys that would be happy to date you, but you're too much of a fucking faggot to go outside.

>>8565902

I too often fall for this type of shit.

But take it from someone who has gone through it twice now: these people are often times not as innocent and helpless they seem. Many of their pain and suffering is self-inflicted and any efforts to get close and help usually results in them dragging you down with them. These people really can not be helped.

>>8566745
Seconded. Wont go into it further, you said it perfectly

>>8565916
>be bully
>get kidnapped
>locked up in hut in middle of nowhere
>get forcibly transitioned by my bullying victim
>become mindbroken
>love being punished
>fall in love

>>8565705
OP you sound like me a couple of years ago. I got bullied, I had no social life, my autism levels were through the fucking roof.
After a few years I started to hang out with different people and found people (weebs) who are interested in the same things I am. Unfortunately I was not able to find a bf or gf.
Long story short, go the fuck outside. Go to some park or a gay club/meetup and start talking to people. There are tons of NEETs like you around (didn't take this harsh) and autistic fucks like me will find it cute.

>>8566528
>Stop being a coward
>"YOU'RE A COWARD"
you agreed with him you were just rude

>>8565705
I'm sorry.
You can still turn things around.

>>8565756
How about if someone tries to get others to kill themselves?

>>8565705
This OP >>8565811 I used the be the same way but you don't have to be lonely. Progress doesn't happen over night. Just try finding like minded communities IRL or online and then meet them IRL but work on the other stuff first.

>>8565705
This is a tough thread for me as well since I'm in pretty much the same situation as you. Even though it's been five years since I graduated from high school I still get regular period panic attacks, I get freaked out and walk in the other direction as fast as possible if I see one of my old bullies and I get depressed and so so so very angry at a cyclical schedule at my old tormentors. I get crying fits and angry fits thinking of everything I went through because of them. I think most people would have either snapped and killed them or snapped and stoo up for themselves. I am what happens when you do neither and instead just be a victim for four years.

I genuinely feel like, if I could kill them and get away with it I would. But I won't because I know that would ruin my life. My thinking goes something alone like this

If I kill them and go to jail they've won
If I kill myself they've won
If I don't make anything out of myself they've won.

So the only way to truly and really beat them in my mind once and for all it so make something out of myself and build a life and friends for myself. Of course life isn't anime so that's easier said than done, I'm nervous and have bad social anxiety. In addition I have anger issues, almost certainly related to my years of torment, and I might suffer from some other shit as well.

But I'm trying god damnit and that's all I can do. Try and hope and never give up hope and never give up trying. I wish I could say I'm succeeding but I am at least trying.

>>8565705
same

don't even know what to do to get out of it, since you pretty much have to have friends and a social life to make friends

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I used to think like this too but realized something.

Everyone is trying to unsucessfully find happiness. Everyone will die someday and we're just results of the universe entropy, no one can escape this. Everyone have problems, but some of them try too hard to hide their own problems and bully apparently weaker people.

It can also be the result of our society. Being manlier, dominant, more handsome/pretty apparently impacts how the world works. Actually that's how nature works. Poor souls don't realize it won't matter in the end and it doesn't matter if you're the Stronger, Bigger Bully, you'll get cancer and die a slow and painful death in the end.

So, knowing everyone is the same and everyone is walking towards death, you should stop caring about your past. Literally forget it. Go chase your dreams. Find a hobby. Find someone to love. Let me hug you and tell you everything is going to be ok. Seek the biggest ammount of happiness you can find, before the time ends.

Sorry if sound nihilistic. But that's it. You're alive. Ignore your past and live. Don't think that what they did to you prevented you from having a life. It just slowed things a bit, now it's time to say fuck this. If you want or need to, start your life in a new city.

And don't compare yourself with them in any way. Different people achieve different things. There's lots of people living under worse circumstances than you. And lots living in better circunstances. But it doesn't matter. What matters most is what's the best thing YOU, by YOURSELF, can achieve in YOUR life and be happy with. And don't fool yourself into thinking you can't do nothing etc. Because we live in a free open world and everyone have a chance of doing shit.

t. Got bullied throught my whole school life and i know your feelings. But i don't write them on my skin anymore because that's useless. You want to be happy right? You'll not be happy if you stay in your situation. Go do something and see things gradually change.

i was bullied a lot.
maybe it was just me, but i also feel like i was pigeon-holed into hanging out with all my female classmates, especially in high school.
they treated me like i belonged with them.
i was also an easy target for sexual harassment from men. sometimes even sexual advances.
where did my life go wrong?

>>8565916
any other stories you overheard at hot topic?

>>8565945
:) you are a good person

Where are you from?

>>8565705
I used to get bullied a lot when I was younger. I was very shy and feel I had similar problems to you. I couldn't ever express myself because my speech was quiet and I couldn't talk while someone else was.

Eventually I started going to board game nights and made some friends there. It helps a lot to have an environment where people aren't talking continuously and there is little in terms of rush time. Having to time to construct the point in your mind and then vocalize, even slowly, in a relaxed atmosphere will help you significantly.

I haven't had trouble making friends or speaking in years now, I was always considered one of, if not, the the best public speaker in my year at university. With time and practice you will grow out of being shy. Now if only the same thing could be said for looking like a man...

>>8565705
>Truth is I'm a fucking broken person
agreed
>because of years of bullying
no

>Life just isn't fucking fair.
yes it is, you trannied up and now you're paying the price, the price for harassing and tormenting women

>>8565788
>parents are stupid
So you condone child sex?

>>8570951
What the fuck? Kek.

>>8565705
i went home last week and muh old bully showed up at the weed store behind me.
because of his smile, i couldn't tell if he recognized me or was checking out my ass in muh tight jeans, but either way, when i made eye contact he looked fifteen years older and a meth bowl unhealthier than i. his clothes must have cost $45 total. i was also a foot taller than him. lol

we're all jest hoomans, and children can be animals. oh well. a reunion may be nice.

>>8565705
>I'm all alone in my apartment playing videogames and watching anime all day.
>I go outside for 30 minutes every 2 weeks to buy groceries.
Sounds like winning to me.

>>8566745
I'm one of those people and I can tell you you're right. Trying to help us when not even us want to hel ourselves is pointless and will end up badly for you both. It's us who have to start bettering ourselves.