What's the hardest thing in your life right now?

Trying to find a girl on tinder who doesn't want a hookup but has big tits and is feminine and innocent

>>8509140
My boyfriend's dick

Not killing myself and I mean this completely. Every day is filled with hours of pacing, crying and despair.

>>8509140
My boyfriend's dick.

>>8509149
>>8509156
Both of you don't have a bf

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>>8509149

>>8509147
Google it.

>>8509153
Sounds like you need medical help senpai

>>8509149
>>8509156
wew

>>8509165
You can't google those girls anon. Plus I forgot to mention one that I can hold a conversation with. I'm really bad at that.

>>8509140
Life itself.

I never decided what I wanted to be when I grew up. So now I'm nothing.

Like if someone asks me to tell them about myself... I got nothing...

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>>8509140
School and work.

>>8509177
oh nvm, i thought tinder had a browser version... what's your interests? can't you find someone with similar ones?

Making time to focus on creative work

>>8509183
>want do you want to be when you grow up?
is such a bullshit question. anyways, you just need to pay the bills and have spare money for gin and hookers.
Can't you take a job as garbageman or mailman?

>>8509184
dumb frogposter

>>8509189
show us your stuff

>>8509153
Get a job and start working out. Go to the doctor and get some help if you feel like you can't handle it yourself.

>>8509140
This test I have to do. I'm in the middle of it and it sucks but i'm honestly just aiming for a passing grade and getting ready for my internship at a hospital that's in a completely different part of the country, I'm so excited!

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Being a tranny stuck in a rural area with no money or opportunities.

>>8509183
>>8509192
Have to agree with the second poster. The whole great meaning of life is great and all but you also need to make some fucking money. Also start working out or if youre one of those tranny people which seem to be here all the time start on the HRT or whatever.

>>8509198
>I'm so excited!
Are you a nurse or something?

>>8509200
go on a bus and leave that place or start a youtube channel...

>>8509140
my thick veiny feminine penis

>>8509196
I'd rather not post anything here. I have several projects going. I don't think I need to be convinced that they are valuable, it's just getting lost in the shuffle of my day job and self-care.

>>8509140
Being alive

>>8509210
are veins a bad thing now?

>>8509212
>my day job and self-care.
which are?

>>8509214
You need help senpai

>>8509140

Being a late transitioner who can't pass and therefore can't progress in life in a satisfactory way.

>>8509147

Good luck with that needle in a haystack, famalam.

>>8509208
>go on a bus and leave that place
Where do I go?

>or start a youtube channel...
I'm too ugly and not smart enough to know how to market myself.

>>8509220
>Being a late transitioner
Guessing you aren't rich to get a bunch of surgeries done..

>>8509221
>Where do I go?
Anywhere but where you are now!

>I'm too ugly and not smart enough to know how to market myself.

This FAT FUCK IS MAKING MONEY and BASICALLY YOU'RE STUPID: https://www.youtube.com/user/boogie2988
Honestly, just talk about your day or anything, you'll find an audience if you do it long enough, you don't really need to market yourself.

>>8509140
Debating on whether to come out to parents now, or wait until I have a BF.

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>>8509218
Vascularity is associated with maleness

>>8509235
Are you parents stupid religious people?
Do you live with them?
Are you financially independent?
Are you Black?
Are you.. cute?

>>8509232
>Anywhere but where you are now!
And be homeless lol?

>Honestly, just talk about your day or anything, you'll find an audience if you do it long enough, you don't really need to market yourself.
I find that very very hard to believe. For the small amount of YouTube channels that make it, there's an entire sea of failures neither of us even know about.

>>8509247
looks more like cancer to me. veins are there to transfer blood, which is needed for an eraction.

>>8509218
>my day job and self-care
>which are?
I'm a custodian. I like the work, I've been doing it for a few years now. It's normally 30 hours a week, but I get asked to take over shifts often and I can easily end up with 40 or 50 hours sometimes.
I never really took great care of myself, like with eating and sleeping, but when I started hormones I wanted to. I'm autistic, and learning how to deal with that. Like I'm bad at eating when I'm hungry, sleeping when I'm tired. I have to remind myself to take care of those things. So this is really basic stuff, but managing it is new and takes more time and focus. And I'm realizing I won't be able to do everything I want to do in a day.
Someone in a similar situation told me that taking care of all of their needs left them with less time to work per day, but gave them more days of productivity.
I want to get there but I'm still building a routine I guess?

>>8509253
>And be homeless lol?
Ask yourself if that would be better?

>I find that very very hard to believe. For the small amount of YouTube channels that make it, there's an entire sea of failures neither of us even know about.
If you don't try, you wont succeed.

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>>8509232

>Guessing you aren't rich to get a bunch of surgeries done..

No, I'm not rich. But I would be fooling myself to think surgeries would satisfy me if I did have the money. The things that upset me are unfixable by any modern surgery. The only satisfactory solutions I can think of would be transplanting my brain to a female clone made with my DNA or going back to before it was too late with a time machine. And I prefer the time machine.

>>8509249
>Yes, but I don't disrespect their beliefs
>Yes
>In high school (18)
>Nope
>Maybe... hehe
It's that I feel like I should tell them before I move out, out of respect (gay btw), but I also think it'd be easier to explain once I actually move out and hopefully get a bf. But at the same time I think it's not exactly something that you should tell someone over a phone call.

>>8509192
I'm 34.. I've had plenty of shitty jobs in my life.

>>8509205
I exercise every day.

>>8509278
>Ask yourself if that would be better?
No, that would definitely not be better. I'd be dead in a week...

>If you don't try, you wont succeed.
I'd be wasting my time.

>>8509272
>custodian
you wash old people?

>>8509317
I guess janitor would be more accurate.

>>8509280
How old are you?

>>8509287
>but I don't disrespect their beliefs
so you submit to them instead?

>>8509287
tell them once you move out, that way you'll have a backup plan.
would they disown you?

>>8509311
>I'd be wasting my time.
And your time worth how much? You're complaining about lack of oppertunity in your area but you call something that's realtively easy to do and wouldn't hurt you a waste of time.

>>8509321
in a school?

>>8509351
>in a school?
Department store.

>>8509357
any cute people there?

>>8509351
What do you mean by submit? They know I'm not religious but they make me go to church with them every week, which sucks because I see childhood friends their who now hate me. Anyways I said that I don't disrespect their beliefs because you said "stupid religious people. And in response to the other question, it's not necessarily that bad, they wouldn't disown me, but they would be very upset, and if certain other family members knew (grandparents on mom's side), they would certainly be even more upset, and may try to cure me or whatever. Also my grandparents are the only family in my state besides my parents, so they're the only extended family I really see.

>>8509376
Are you thinking I could meet some kind of partner-cum-caregiver at my job?
Maybe not at work, but it's not a bad idea. I just don't want to wait until somebody can help me with my stuff to work on my art, and I don't think I have to. The time management will just take some extra practice and troubleshooting.

>>8509376
>cute people
In a Department store?

>>8509407
>They know I'm not religious but they make me go to church with them every week
>but they make me go to church with them every week
You're submitting to their religion by doing this, it would be like if a muslim wanted a childbride and you not doing anything about it.

>stupid religious people.
if i called some a nazi a stupid white supremacist fuck, would that also be "disrespectful"?
I have no respect for people that believe in bullshit and i never will. Furthermore by respecting their beliefs and them clearly not respecting yours, you're just giving them more power.

>may try to cure me or whatever.
aren't those places that do that, aren't they all closed in the states?

>my grandparents are the only family in my state besides my parents
Are they nice to you?

>>8509411
What kind of art do you do?
Have you tried tinder? Do you have big tits?

>>8509439
Cute people can be anywhere c:

>>8509351
>And your time worth how much? You're complaining about lack of oppertunity in your area but you call something that's realtively easy to do and wouldn't hurt you a waste of time.
Got me there..

>>8509140
Waiting to move out with my gf. I currently live with a guy who masturbates in his room all day and cooks kangaroo meat on a nightly basis. It is torture to try n wait this shit out lol

>>8509455
Do you help him fap? Also is your gf cute? Kangaroo meat, wat?

>>8509200
literally my life except outside of orlando and too much social anxiety to step outside let alone find a job (made tons of money pre-HRT but lost my job because i was too afraid of coming out and couldn't handle being in boy-mode)

you are not alone

>>8509443
I mean I could argue and try to stay home but I have a good relationship with my parents and I don't wanna ruin it. I don't know about the whole cure places or whatever, I was just somewhat kidding, however I can see them (grandparents) making me read the bible to "help" me. Yea, they're nice to me, it's just that they are extremely religious, much more than my parents, and are the type of people to go on about "Obamas a muslim, and shouldn't be president", "rock and roll is evil", "the Beatles are evil", "any country other than the USA is in a dark place spiritually", you get the idea. They're nice but go on about how I'm quiet but I can't talk about my interests because they're not godly (video games, music, comics, whatever). That being said I can imagine all the family on my dad's side being supportive and not really caring, but they live in North Carolina.

>>8509140
my bfs d

>>8509479
maybe that anon could come live with you?

>>8509501
Your grandparents are insane.

>I don't wanna ruin it.
By being who you are? Doesn't that just make you feel empty inside? or rather, is faking it the way you want to live your life?

Started hormones two months ago so everything is hard except my dick.

>>8509544
Get big tits!

>>8509525
pls i need a waifu

>>8509466
I do not LOL. Kangaroo meat is sold in aus grocery stores and its pungent and really dark red. Gf is a qt and wife material

>>8509535
Nah it's not like that, outside of religious views and taking me to church and stuff I legitimately have a very good relationship with my parents and love them. I mean going to church does make me feel like shit seeing people from my past I don't wanna see and all but it's not like I can start a fight every Sunday. Also I think people who haven't had parents who do stuff like this don't completely understand how complicated it is.

>>8509140
Dealing with so who lives with me who doesn't work, doesn't look for work, drinks every weekend, and has student loans I pay 400+ a month for. I'm kind of over this but I don't know what to do.

Inmate about them but I also think my life would be easier without them.

>>8509582
anon can be that

>>8509595
>Kangaroo meat is sold in aus grocery stores
Sounds like some endangered shit

>>8509597
>people who haven't had parents who do stuff like this don't completely understand how complicated it is.
dunno, i did jackshit with my parents we have a shit relationship.
However i think you might want to start talking to them about it, go to a coffee shop or something, sit down and just talk.
Reflecting in your own behaviors can be a good place to see what's wrong.

>>8509611
kick them out

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>>8509479
Aw, I relate. Crippling social anxiety has really fucked up my life.

>>8509525
>>8509582
Y-you too shouldn't say such silly things...

>>8509686
Their family us 1200 miles away and I don't think they can afford to help them. I'm scared something bad will happen. If I do. I've been with them along time and I'm accustomed to them even though I desperately want them to leave. I feel trapped.

Hiding my transition. I Self-medded and know I'll be disowned by my dad if he finds out I'm trans. I live with my mom but by the time I have enough to move out i'll have gone from month 6 hrt currently to month 14 of HRT and I am screwed. I dont know how she'll react and to make things worse I have law school graduation sometime near month 16 of HRT and I need to figure out how I'm gonna handle my name change.

>>8509703
>Y-you too shouldn't say such silly things...
Being silly is the only way i stay alive.

>>8509724
You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else.

>>8509746
What's your new name?
Why care about your dad if you don't live with him? Disown HIM!
Have you spoken to a doctor?

>>8509703
>Y-you too shouldn't say such silly things...

It's n-not like I need a waifu or anything, senpai!

>>8509140
No job. . . Probably because trans.

>>8509789
Right, and i-it's not like I'm lonely or anything... Don't get the wrong idea!

>>8509768
I like myself. I just feel like a shirty person for abandoning them. But I've been thinking about this decision for a while. :/ I just need to the bad person and kick them out I guess....

>>8509801
>nigger detected

>>8509787
My first name will be Alma (makes sense given heritage). Last name has me worried cos I dunno if I should change my last name or not. If I change it I risk getting disowned and having to pay to do it again. Yet I want to change it way before I get my degree parchment and because I hate my name. I might just risk it and change my name soon when I find a good last name a half-filipino, half-aus.

And as much as I dont live with my Dad I'm hanging onto the slim hope he wont disown me. VERY slim hope. I visit him every now and then to say hello and help out around the house but its just awkward. I want to enjoy whatever time I have because if he disowns me at least I tried.

To make things sliightly worse I have a 2 and a half year old nephew who knows me as his uncle but he keeps on pointing at me and calling me his mom. Do I just uhh like, become his auntie overnight and deny it ever happened? What the hell do I do? Do we tell him I'm trans when he's like 18? He's catching on. The other day he fell on me and landed on my chest and from that time on he pointed at me and then imitated groping his breasts. His mom is also a bitch and will probs call me a freak as well. Do I keep it hidden for his sake?

And yeah I'm diagnosed with GD and seeing an endo in October which is 11 months of HRT. Whatever liver damage I've suffered I dont really care about since HRT saved me from killing myself last November.

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>>8509815
I-its not like I'm dying on the inside and basically feel the same way or anything..!

Trying to figure out where to go with life. I think I want to move so I have more opportunities as far as jobs and relationships go, but logistically I'm living paycheck-to-paycheck, stuck in a lease for a few more months anyway and don't want to leave my best friend/roommate in the lurch, and unless I move to super specific spots (California, Alberta, Texas) then I'll have no friends around me either.

>>8509801
Live with your parents?

>>8509815
>>8509847
Move in together already

>>8509826
How long until you move out yourself?

>>8509845
What about "Stewart"?
Doesn't sound like your dad cares about you.
Tell the kid the truth.
You shouldn't hide who you are for anybody's sake senpai.

GD? endo?

Do you feel that the HRT has worked?

>>8509871
Unless these are friends that would take a bullet for you, don't move near them unless you actually like those places.
It would suck to move close to someone and then you stop being friends or never talk to each other that much.
Have you thought of europe?

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>>8509351

>How old are you?

I'm 22. The time to do something was at least 8 years ago. Ideally, it was 10-17 years ago. I've been on HRT since I was 20, but what can I really expect from it? My skeleton is fucked forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Enzm_9PNo

Compare the women, especially the drill instructor, to the men later in the video. They're so different. And besides my body, I made some dumb decisions in life due to not feeling myself, which is why I prefer a time machine.

>>8509924
>Move in together already

>>8509935
i've been screwed at enough as a kid, nobody is allowed to yell at me or anybody around me.

It doesn't really matter how you look senpai, someone will love you for who you are.

>>8509936
>implying that you wouldn't

>>8509924
I'll add Stewart to the list. I keep a list of names I occasionally add to and strike off but the way it looks now I sorta need a Spanish last name to match Alma.

I was gonna tell my nephew as a practice for coming out but he ran off
and ate an example Will and I had to chase him around the house to get the document pried from his mouth. That's how he fell on me lmao. Pieces of an example Will everywhere and him staring at me in shock. I've whispered to him to call me auntie but he keeps calling me mom. Sorta funny desu. I want to come out before he hits 4 years old.

GD is gender dysphoria. Endo is endocrinologist. I get my first blood test on month 11 of HRT.

And yeah the HRT is working too well. Being half-filipino just makes you ambigously asian and I never had much virilization in the first place. God bless shit cross-racial recognition because over 6 months in and getting gendered aa a girl until I speak. I dont wanna risk coming out prematurely as trans when they might be in a position to impair me going to my endo appointments.

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>>8509951
>implying that I'm not just posting as anon pretending to be another person who just agrees we should move in together so as to fabricate the illusion that everyone agrees we should be waifus

>>8509140
1 finding the strength to go find a job
2 figuring out how to pay back $100,000 in debt
3 controlling my mood swings
4 controlling my paranoia

>>8509973
Would your mom disown your or kick you out?

>>8509982
>faking conversations
>on an anonymous japanese anime imageboard
that's pretty low, even for you senpai

>>8509984
>1 finding the strength to go find a job
>3 controlling my mood swings
>4 controlling my paranoia
make an alt-right talk show

>2 figuring out how to pay back $100,000 in debt
what you do?

>>8509990
>make an alt-right talk show
That sounds much harder than staying out of bed and I can already hardly manage that...
Plus, there's already one alt-right tranny dominating the market right now, and nobody wants to hear about how crazy i am.
>what you do?
I dropped out of college

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>>8509982
Wait, so the other anon isn't real? Or did you mean you're not real? Or I'm not real? Fuck I'm confused...

>>8509990
Probs do nothing. Mom might be mostly okay. I want out anyway cos I want to put more than a 10 minute drive's distance between me and my dad if it goes to shit. I might be fine for now assuming mom isnt one of those 'accepting' parents who goes batshit crazy out of nowhere and kicks me onto the street.

The summary of the situaion is I'm just safer during stealth but have a whole bunch of time limits gently pushing me to coming out. Nephew, degree, graduation ceremony, hiding HRT effects, name change. It's a fucking mess and there's no right answer. I'll just have to risk it and knowing that is the hardest part of it all.

>>8509998
>I dropped out of college
They fine you for that?

anybody can do an alt-right show, just go on youtube and spew something about racist monkies or how muslims are evil. you could do it in bed with your phone

>>8510003
the first 2 anons i talked about are real and should move in together. i'm neither of those two, i don't live in the us, i live in a place where wanting to be female isn't a sin or something stupid like that.

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>>8510003

>>8510028
kind of, actually
mainly student loan denbts tho

i wouldn't be paid very much for that, I think.

I can't even go outside and let people see me, why would i let the internet see me?

>>8510018
Try just talking to your mom, leave your dad out of it or just disown him and don't talk to him anymore, he doesn't sound like he like you or cares about you anyways.

Talk to her about it and then try to go forward from there.
The Nephew thing should be much easier with your mom on your side.

>>8509951

>i've been screwed at enough as a kid, nobody is allowed to yell at me or anybody around me.

This is probably related to the drill instructors, but what's the relevance?

>It doesn't really matter how you look senpai, someone will love you for who you are.

Possibly. Part of the issue is letting them do so. Reposting my feelings from >>8509392.

Every time I pull my shit together to at least decide I can still make lemonade from these sour-ass lemons I got out of life, I get hit with shit like >>8508838. Even hearing men talk about attractive women makes me want to give up because I'll never be desirable or even in the same group as those women in anyone's eyes.

I'm convinced any man who could love me is a faggot, and even if I found one who I were sure was straight and loved me, I know I would hate to see him check out other girls, girls who I can't compare to.

>>8510003
>>8510036
you two... move in together already.

>>8510039
You don't have to show yourself on camera, just your voice.

Finding the mental fortitude to an hero so no more suffering

>>8510060
>i've been screamed* at enough as a kid, nobody is allowed to yell at me or anybody around me.
ups.. anyhow, if i was in command of the military i wouldn't allow people to yell at eachother.

senpai, most people are ugly as is, i think you're setting too high standards for yourself.
i also think it's kind of messed up that you require someone to be straight to feel loved, sex isn't love senpai, love is love.

throw the lemonade out senpai, life's more than lemons can ever be.

senpai, i get sad just looking at other girls or thinking of them.
i feel like a lesbo inside but my body is male, i'm accepted the fact that i'll be suck in this husk for the rest of my life, i hate it but i try to live around it without going into it too much.
What i'm trying to say is.. try to repriotize what you care about. Is it more important that someone loves you because you're a girl or because of who you are as a person?

>>8510071
go to a doctor senpai

>>8510071
don't go to a doctor
psyches are evil
better to die free than to live a broken drugged up zombie

>>8510091
alive > dead

>>8510094
not always
and that's a cuck's maxim anyway
human rights are worth dying to defend

>>8510107
>someone comes on anonymouse anime imageboard and says they want to kill themselves
>this has happened before and there's no reason why it couldn't happen again
>tells anon not to goto a doctor and some other stupid shit

>>8510122
anon wants to die
going to a doctor would just get them locked up and drugged
better to die without being traumatized first

>>8510134
this is literally some bullshit you're making up, not to mention that "traumatized" and alive is still better than dead.
Are you a crossfag?

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>>8510064
>>8510036
>you two... move in together already.
I mean...it wouldn't hurt to exchange contact info if she's willing...

>>8510141
what am i making up? anon basically said they wanted to die
trauma is a serious thing and it's not necessarily better to be alive and traumatized. you're free to disagree i guess
what's a crossfag?

>>8510173
this is the part where i regret my life decisions

and also the part where i pass out drunk and wake up to 50 fucking randoms in my discord who want my address

https://discord.gg/NV26kj

24 hour link goodnight /tttt/

>>8510173
>>8510194
cute -w-

>>8510194
goodnight :)

>>8509924
The lease ends in September ish I think.

There's something wrong with my lungs.

>>8509932
They've been friends I've kept up with for over 7 years now, and that kinda beats starting with nothing. Already feel lonely with no relationships going on, I can't even imagine how bad it'd be if I had no friends too. Europe is definitely a no though, nothing about it seems appealing between me only speaking english, being separated from everyone I care about, and costing a ton of money I don't have to even move there.

The other thing is the jobs I'm looking for would be mainly office/lab work related to geology/chemistry. Usually environmental-based, but as far as this state goes, the only openings are for ludicrous shit like FEMA response team where they'd work me 50 hours a week for near minimum wage and demanding I be alright with picking up and moving for 1-6 months at a time anywhere in the nation. Like, fuck that.

I'm getting a divorce. My best friend who has had gay talk with me in the past and made plans for a gay hookup in the future finally admitted he is afraid of hurting his wife and doesn't know if he can continue.
A little bit of me hoped he was as miserable in his marriage as I was and that he would see me finish my divorce and stop being confused.
Last night getting told he was confused was heart wrenching I've been thinking about just kissing and holding him when this is all over and now I really am alone. I've loved him for a decade but I squashed it and then he flirted with me first six weeks ago and all the emotions came pouring back and I realized how miserable and wrong my marriage was. Jesus Christ sometimes that 38 on the nightstand looks appealing . I'm just trying to move on but a little bit of me is remaining in reserve hoping to see that text or call "I'm done with mine too" fuck... I love you man.

>>8510527
>getting married
>even once

>>8510534
If I wasn't married I could have probably pursued him a few years ago. My marriage is shit with an abusive wife who said she's actually a lesbian recently and cheated again for 4th time. Why am I with someone who isn't attracted to me?

Christ I just hope he doesn't get her pregnant.. it's not right to wish that stuff but we are in each other's heads all the time. We finish each other's sentences, we send good morning texts at the exact same time without meaning too... I just feel like I'm reconnecting with a lost part of me when I'm with him.

>>8510556
>My marriage is shit with an abusive wife
Didn't you think it might be a bad idea to put your self in a position where if someone decided to assault you the law takes their side?

>Why am I with someone who isn't attracted to me?
You tell me man, you tell me.

>>8510571
I'm only gay for him really. I was plenty attracted to my wife. She just began dressing more like a butch lesbian in the past six months and I'm not into that.
She became abusive after marriage. Also decided to quit working a few months later so finances have been hard for the past 4 years.

>>8510625
>i know, i'll put myself in a position where somebody gets to abuse me with legal immunity!
>they're not abusive so it's fine!
>oh no, i'm being abused and can't get help!
>why did i let this happen!

>i know, i'mm make myself financially responsible for someone else!
>they're working, so it's fine!
>oh no, they quit and now i have to earn their keep!
>why did i let this happen!

Yes don't fall for the marriage meme. I get it dude.

Dunno if anybody is still here...

>>8510321
Go to a doctor senpai

>>8510474
What about non-profit environmental organisations?

>>8510527
Many more fish in the sea farm.

>>8510625
Leave her now.

>>8509140
For some reason I've just felt empty these last few days. But like, there's literally no goddamn reason why I should feel this way; I'm a good student, I'm conventionally attractive, I have a large social circle. But like, for whatever fucking reason I've been going through ups and downs, there'll be one minute where I'm totally on board with doing something, then the next it's right back to "honestly does that thing even matter?" I don't understand why I'm like this right now, it's annoying, I just want to go back to the way it was before where I got excited by things and didn't constantly feel like something is wrong.

>>8509247
almost made me sick

Dealing with my dick no longer working as a trans woman. I knew it would happen eventually, but that doesn't make it any easier. I have tfw no gf forever because I'm too ashamed to try to be intimate with anyone.

>>8513751
sounds like you might have depression

>>8513848
convert it into a pussy?

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I'm a 28 years old 5'4 turbomanlet ugly kissless hugless handholdless virgin dude with crohn's disease, GERD, a fucked up esophagus, asthma, various allergies, fucked up eyesight. I'll die alone and stress about paying the bills every day of my life until the end it's not worth it. I have no reason to post here. I shouldn't exist.

>>8513694
I still check. Yeah plenty of fish in the sea, I just felt a special connection with him I've never felt before. Frustrating we had a few month fling a decade ago but I never stopped talking to him. Agreed on leaving the wife. Even as I felt my chances of being with him fade away again, at least for now, I still don't regret seeking the divorce. Cunt just paid for her lawyer on my credit card even though she has her own. Don't think I'll ever marry again, got nothing out of this marriage.

>>8509140
Turbo dysphoria and crippling depression from switching medications.

>>8514209
Women up and take you tit skits!
Some people on here would kill to be 5'4 you ungrateful cunt!

>>8509140
Finding a boyfriend

>>8513694
Non-profit eco organizations are a no-go too. They're all about environmentalism, and don't hire off the street. You'd only be able to make money through scummy connections, otherwise the bulk would be made up of trust-fund babies who aren't getting paid for it but can afford that.

I'm more trained for lab/remediation work, but regulations mean the government holds basically all the jobs there and doesn't give them shit for budget. So there's a whopping 10 positions in a state, all taken by 50+ year old dudes with 20+ years of experience on me.

To keep breathing

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Trying to think of how to come out to my parents.

They're quite religious and I asked my mom hypothetically a long time ago if she'd still love me even if I was gay, and she made a nervous face and after a long silence she changed the topic, it hurt me a little.

I'm extremely respectful of Christianity despite not personally being especially religious, to the point where my boyfriend and I agreed not to ever have penetrative sex, and to never get married, although we intend to stay together for the rest of our lives.

I love my parents a lot, but if I had to give them up for him I would, at the same time though I don't want for it to come down to that, you know?

The only person who knows I'm gay is my brother, who is also religious, but extremely understanding of my situation, having his support means a lot to me.

>>8516380
I'm sorry you're going through this. They may never accept you. I told my mom ten years ago I liked a guy and she cried. She said she didn't do that now but I won't forget.

>>8509200
Try Seasonal work.
You get a place to stay and a job and food.
YOu can save up cash and move somewhere nice.

>>8514209
get a sugar daddy senpai

>>8515058
anything else in your life?

>>8515169
where do you live?

>>8515234
what about a vet or having your own eco-friendly farm?

>>8516311
you got something in your throat senpai?

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Loneliness. I have a great friend group when we all hang out but they're all shut-ins apparently. Which makes me a fucking shut-in.

>>8516380
>I'm extremely respectful of Christianity despite not personally being especially religious
>I'm extremely respectful of Pedophilia despite not personally being one
comeon senpai, don't be respectful of something that would literally doom you to eternal torture.

>to the point where my boyfriend and I agreed not to ever have penetrative sex
senpai, god doesn't exist, you can have sex without stupid stuff

>I love my parents a lot
senpai, if your parents love you more than an imaginary old bearded man, then they don't love you at all.
Leave them senpai, if you can, move in with your bf and stay away from them.
or move in with your bf but tell them that he's your roommate and then gradually come out to them over time.

>>8516735
I told my mom last year that i used to have a bf and that i've had sex with boys. She's an atheist like myself and the only thing she added to it, was that she thought it wasn't safe because of deseaces but i proved her wrong with evidence.
I want to tell my grandma but she's a muslim, so i dunno how she'll take it. She's a culture-muslim, basically, she's never done anything that an actual muslim would do but she still believes in the muslim god and doesn't eat pig.

>>8517305
This is some good advice desu. Thanks

>>8518150
sounds like your depressed senpai, try and get some medical help

>>8518177
I'm usually pretty happy but yesterday was sad because a fucking bird killed itself >>>/x/19223939
And today I was going to teach someone some basics in sorcery but they chickened out because people fear dark powers.

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>>8518183
>And today I was going to teach someone some basics in sorcery but they chickened out because people fear dark powers.
Turn me into a girl, faggot.

>>8518190
Pray to a goddess. Appeal to her vanity.
I shouldn't even mention this stuff online.

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>>8518213
>i can't do it
>pray to jesus crust
oh woaw, can't even prove your own shit.

>>8518245
Alright, let's think about inflicting feminization on some random anon.
>you have a human target for something exceedingly complex
>human target raises ethical questions fast
>complexity/nature makes it malicious
>THEN
>you have no idea who you're targeting, location, name, contact
>no focus
>need ridiculous amounts of will anyways on top of all those other technical problems
Deceit and skittles is the proper solution here.

>>8518266
here's a thing, record yourself doing something "le suprnaturl" post it on youtube and prove that you can do what anything "suprnaturl"
otherwise, gtfo.

>>8518266
in order words you're a lazy beta manlet cuck too afraid of the po-po and whether or not a 4channer can overpower you or not (LOL) so you resort to trying to convince virgins to feminize themselves OTI for you just to fulfill a facsimile of your fetish

I'd call it sad, but I know what lurks on this site.

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Nocash

>>8518356
Sell your body for sexual services or pornographic imagery

>>8509140
Little bit of backstory so this makes sense. I was raised in a super abusive home. I used to always go to my grandparents house and stay there during the summer though. They always treated me wonderfully and I love them to death. Especially my grandpa. He's basically molded who I am today. He's a vietnam vet that has health issues now because of agent orange. He also got pneumonia only a few months ago when he was going gold mining and some people where using chemicals upwind. That nearly killed him, and has left scar tissue is his lungs. He's very healthy otherwise. If those things don't kill him, he could easily live to 90. That's another 20 years. There's a good possibility he won't make it another year though.
I'm 18 and want to transition now so that I have a better chance of not becoming a hon. But I really don't want to disappoint my grandpa. If I didn't fear he might die soon, I would go ahead and transition, but I don't want him to hate me when he dies. I know it's going to take time for him to get used to me transitioning and learn to love me again. If I decide to wait until he dies though, there's the possibility that I would have to wait a very long time. I honestly don't know what to do.

Im having trouble writing song lyrics

>>8518523
Transition. I waited and I fucking regret it. You can't let your transition be held hostage by your perceptions of how other people will react.

>>8509140
Not having that one guy feed me his dick.

>>8509140
My dick.

>>8509147
>tinder
>doesn't want a hook-up
>innocent
Anon, we need to talk..

>>8518140
>where do you live?
In the UK. Why do you ask?

>>8518753
And I have thought about that. I hear that a lot. This is undoubtedly the most important person in my life though, and he could die. Is it really worth risking it? I want to be happy, but I also want him to die happy.

>>8509140
everything

>>8518523

Take HRT in secret. You'll have to live with the consequences of your choice MUUUUUCH longer than you'll have your grandfather. You tell me then which is the smarter choice.

My gfs diamond cock cage

>>8509140
Perma Boymode.

I think I'm depressed as I am apathetic about social transition despite being the only thing I really want (other than QT BF)

The hardest thing in my life is wrestling with the idea that death is inevitable and so I should just go fucking nuts and live my life in the pursuit of pleasure, but then my human wiring activates in day-to-day life and I end up never doing anything "crazy".
Then at the end of the day I lay in bed and think "I should have told that cute guy I wanted to suck his dick" "I should have danced like an idiot to make my friend laugh"
"I'm going to die and I waste every day worried about social standing rather than just fucking enjoying my life."

>>8518523
Tell him the truth, faggot.

>>8518739
pop or rap?

>>8518755
ask him out

>>8519605
nothin...

>>8522871
Do it, faggot.

>>8522880
If you worry, you'll waste your time. Do what makes you happy and stop thinking about it, chances are you're not going to die today or tomorrow, or the day after that and so on.

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being ostracized by my family and violently isolating myself from my only friends 'cause I'm toxic and generally bad for them.
self-pity's all I got, now

>>8522975
Chances are the plane you're in won't crash, and I bet everyone who's ever died in a plane crash reassured themselves with those chances.
The issue is what I think would make me "happy" throws all rules of social interaction under the bus, and the possibility of turning myself into a pariah holds me back.

>>8523013
>>8523050
talk to a doctor

>>8523116
nah, it'll all be fine. I'm just lonely, but the only problems were the ones I caused around other people. sometimes you just have to accept things
thanks for the concern though.

careing deeply for someone who's going through a hard time and has isolated themself from everyone. i just wanna be there

>>8523121
fuck them, hard.

>>8525282
wish it were that easy

>>8509140

No money and feel pathetically anxious about getting a job.

Also I feel like the degree course that's offering me a place only want me there because it's tragically under subscribed, which makes part of me just want to tell them to fuck off and die.

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>control+f "dick"
>7 matches

>>8525366
it is

>>8509140
Being in debt and having a shit credit rating and a menial job that I hate.
Having a fetish that people of the opposite sex despise and people of the same sex merely put up with.
Sexual dysfunction.
Loneliness.
Laziness.

>>8523121
tell them to call a suicide hotline
Whoever's on the other end of the line will probably be a better ear than they expect. They probably have a lot to vent about.

>>8525450
it isnt though

>>8525460
i dont think its quite that serious. i just hope they're ok..

>>8525490
What kind of hard time are they going through?
Isolating themselves abruptly is a bad sign.

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>>8509140
trying to come to terms with being abused and raped

Finding the fucking gay thread on this board full of trannies.

I just graduated from a 4 year college and started a new job. As a waitress. Fml.

Resolving all the conflicts in my mind about my identity and living with my parents, since it prevents me from really experimenting with things. I could never in a million years face their judgements and prejudice if I opened up to them.

My dick inside a cute mtf's asspussy.

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>>8525711
>Things that will never happen

>>8509140
My dick, which I was born with
Fuck you, man-trannies