found that I'm mtf at 25

>>8487900
What are the red flags from childhood/teens?

>>8487900
Took me til 20 to accept I was trans but by then I thought it was too late. Then I repressed for 4 years and transition at 24.

>>8487913
I have forgot many things (or repressed?), but lets go: 1. I at least didnt felt bad when I was mistaken for a girl few times between 12 and 14 - and I remembered exact scenes. 2. Also body swaping fantasies with girls from school 3. Trying moms bra few times in a bathroom 4. Intrigued when my sis first time got barbies, however i have played only once or twice with her 5. Remember reading first time about transition as kid 6. My first masturbation session was fantasies when I was lesbian girl 7. I remember preffering Lara Croft to Indiana Jones 8. When I was playibg one winter sport game i happily chose ginger girl as character 9. I allways admired female beauty but most of times in very non sexual way (not excludinh sexual of course) 10. Watched a lot of ts porn and sissy 11. Allways felt not really part of the guys, despite acting quite masculine and hanging out with then

I didn't even entertain the thought until I was sixteen when I opened my eyes and realized that cisgender females don't cry over the fact that they weren't born with penises. It was very jarring at first because I was so used to being a girl, but I finally had an explanation for why I wanted to be a guy so badly. I still feel like a total fake on the days where dysphoria is bearable, so don't worry, you're not alone.

>>8488031
>I remember preffering Lara Croft to Indiana Jones
Didn't everyone? Lara Croft was just a better game lol

>>8488049
>It was very jarring at first because I was so used to being a girl
What was that like?

>>8487900
yeehhhh ...
Im repressing I mean Im not trans! its impossible to accept for me for how shattering to my personality, my whole life and for any future it is.
Ive been reading about it a lot and discussing it for days trying to understand myself. If being trans is result of brain feminization, well then I believe that I have it to a lesser degree than transgenders who realize it in childhood, so I can cope with it and don't feel as terribly dysphoric and can go on living as a man despite wanting to be a woman,

>>8488166
I think that while it is true that there are probably varying degrees of "feminization" and that for some people it is so subtle that they happily live out their lives without realizing they're not normal if you experience serious gender dysphoria well bad news you're probably trans.

In the end only you know yourself but make sure that you're looking at how things are rather than at how you'd like them to be. Good luck.

>>8488183
I experience at least some dysphoria but the thing is I don't know if it's all dysphoria or depression combined with dysphoria and I honestly don't know how to tell the difference

>>8488031
>and I remembered exact scenes.
What were they?

>Also body swaping fantasies with girls from school
>Remember reading first time about transition as kid
What were your thoughts about both these at the time?

>My first masturbation session was fantasies when I was lesbian girl
What age? Did that continue to be your fantasy from then on?

>>8488188
Honestly I think it can get really hard to tell dysphoria and depression apart if you don't hate your genitals or something equally gender-focused. Maybe try listing reasons why you think it is either? You don't have to post them here. Do it for yourself.

>>8487900
It happens. Yeah it feels weird. But it's not like being trans is some fun thing, it makes complete sense you'd try to avoid it subconsciously. Society forces gender down our throats and punishes you if you don't fit in, so unless you're extremely strong-willed it's not surprising you'd try to accept your place for a while. And hell it's not even like the information was that easy to come by for very long.
Repression and dissociation is a helluva drug

>>8488183
I never had it bad in childhood and when it hit... well it's too late now, masculinization is done and Id rather stay the same than turn into a total hon.
Im still considering hrt maybe living in boymode but on HRT will be better and then who knows.

>>8488188
>if it's all dysphoria or depression combined with
dysphoria
Its hard to tell when one grows from another. I wouldn't even know why I hated myself so much - which is a common thing for depressed people, but then fantasies of being a woman made me feel so much better and happier. Sometimes I dont care and forget about it while Im busy with stuff. so I could say Im not trans... but then I'm left on my own and all I can think of is how great it would've been if I was female and how I dislike my manly body and face

>>8488197
A) once a postmsn come to house, I went down wearing white promotional t shirt and he asked me if I am (moms name). Second time I was outside the house with sis and one aquitance ask father if both girls are his xd, third time I was riding a bike in the town and one women sad to her kid, make room for girl.
B) body swaping awesome - transition intrigued - is this possible :O
C) 11. It was frequent fantasy, however I soon (14) discovered porn and have watched ts porn or lesbian porn and sissy blogs. I was addicted. I thought for a long time that I have a fetish

discovered dysphoric at age 32. called doc for hormones the next day

you're not trans, it's just a fetish

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>>8488272
Could you explain how you suddenly 'discovered' or was it a long process of self-analyzing, and what made you so sure to act on it immediately?

>>8488296
Sure???

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You aren't a fraud relative to other trans people.

>>8488521
thanks. that is interesting! I'm not such a fool afterall.

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>>8488549
You arent a fraud for doubting yourself either. Keep that in mind.

>>8488560
Thanks to you too. That makes a lot sence :)

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>>8487900
ITT: Yet another hon is created, oh joy.

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>>8488589
This is probably the final relevant part of the survey since I cbf linking to the reddit post through my phone where the survey was spread around, answered, and results compiled.

If you're curious. Most trans people experience physical dysphoria over how they look as opposed to other kinds of dysphoria (like, say, for example, reproductive dysphoria). Trans people hate being misgendered but not as much as experiencing physical dysphoria. Most trans people say the "I always knew" trans narrative is only "somewhat" true.

As far as how physical dysphoria is composed. Most trans people are dysphoric about breasts, face, voice, genitals, and hips. Shit like hairstyle and pretty much everything else is in a very small minority of areas that trans people are concerned about. As you can see from pic related your odds of being accepted are LOW but you are pretty much, well, normal for a trans person.

>>8488601
How do you know OP will be a hon?

>>8487900
I was kind of like that except my repression was just stupidity. Refused to look up info about trans stuff plus i figured "surely there's no way it can happen to me the probability is too low" despite also wanting to desperately suck dicks and shove things in my butt which is like just as low of probability.... i need like a life coach or something to ensure i don't act like a complete retard

I didn't know I was trans until I was almost 19, even though I'd had a long history of cross dressing. I remember putting on panties and a dress when I was 4, one of my only memories from early childhood. During my teenage years I wore panties but I thought it was a fetish, I didn't realize you could be trans without it being about sex. So I was embarrassed and repressed as hard as I could which resulted in an angry lil manlet. I felt like a fraud for awhile but it goes away. Gotta realize tho that you were exposed to high amounts of testosterone and that society also pushed you towards masculinity. But you know that's all just a shell and that inside you were meant to be a girl AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT OR A FRAUD

Now go make your outsides resemble your inside and don't listen to anyone on this stupid site

>>8488705
>During my teenage years I wore panties but I thought it was a fetish, I didn't realize you could be trans without it being about sex
I hated this about when i was younger. I used to just always hear people say crossdressers are all just creepy fetishists. Caused me to repress hardcore. I used to always wear girls clothes to bed cause it was my only private time away from family (plus hidden by blankets) and i felt like shit for doing it

>>8488521
source please? I can barely see the numbers

>>8488714
For me it got to the point where I would lock my room all the time and I'd have to change 10 times a day every time I needed food or to use the restroom

One day I decided not to change and that's when I came out to my family

>>8488726
>https://imgur.com/a/IsEF0
>https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/4drupo/i_created_a_survey_to_compare_the_media_narrative/

>Hons arguing 'I'm not a trans female! I'm a female!' in the comments
Fucking kek.

>>8488245
>but then fantasies of being a woman made me feel so much better and happier

This is the very same reason I started hormones

>>8488780
would it help if Im far from passing?

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>>8488767
what the... oh, it's plebbit

>>8488803
The demi-whatever genders made me laugh as well. They would have shit all over the survey if he didn't put them in. Nothing in the survey seems too controversial apart from the 'I'm a girl not a TRANS GIRL' shit.

>Trans people are a little emotionally resilient and feel bad at hating themselves more than misgendering could ever make them feel (or they hate both together)
>Trans people feel bad at the gendered parts of their body
>Trans people get treated like shit
>Trans people are constantly struggling internally for their identity and doubt themselves often
>Your odds of being accepted are basically 20-30% to whoever you come out to unless you've cultivated an accepting environment among your friends and family (or struck lucky)

>>8488627 I didn't understood specific dysphoria for a loong time, just like background noise. Since I started exploring it is all over the place and my sex drive like died. And yeah being accepted here is impossible.

>>8488014
me too T_T

>>8488031
>trying moms bra on
Oh fuck. I did that. What age anon? Im pretty sure I was 7 or 8 when I did it.
>always admired female beauty in a non sexual way
Goddamit it. Thats exactly how Ive always felt

Welcome to the hell that is dysphoria anon