Am I gay/how do I make it stop?

>>8469467
Do you crossdress or imagine you're a girl while masturbating?

>>8469467
just imagine yourself as a girl in sex - then its not gay
dress up for him and enjoy it

>>8469542
Tbqh I have thought about myself as the girl a few times while jerking off just in the last month or so. I think I have some sort of mental disorder or OCD though rather than homosexuality or transexuality.

Still, solutions please

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>>8469559

>>8469559
well, I have bad news for you...

contact this doc, he might help https://twitter.com/BlanchardPhD

>>8469579
I'm not a tranny bro, why are you trying to convert people?
I'm just a normal guy except my mental state has been getting worse and worse and in turn, this is happening. Until a couple months ago I'd never thought about men ever and STILL don't think about men except for that one friend.. It's ruining me.

>>8469559
>just in the last month or so
How old are you and when did you start jerking off? What would you imagine prior to the last couple of months?

>>8469630
18, started maybe around 11 or earlier. Never really "inserted" in pron at all and would think about girls b4 jerking off but just focused on the porn during it. I don't know what normal people do.
Just feels like this is really unhealthy. I AM a huge sadomasochist (leaning towards m side) but can't really figure out why I'm torturing myself with these thoughts that clearly make me unhappy.

>>8469661
Just because you have some fantasies about a boy doesn't stop you being gynephilic (straight, for a boy). It's fine to experiment.

Did anyone else really want their bully to fuck them as a teenager? I wasn't even attracted to them. I had forgotten that you could have unwanted sexual fantasies like that until I read OP.

>>8469679
I know and if it was just that, then I'd accept it, but it's making me miserable and intruding on my daily life. I'd tell my therapist about it but it's too embarrassing..
>>8469709
That sounds hot desu, greentext?

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>>8469679
yes, it's perfectly normal and straight to fap to sissy hypno videos.
just keep imagining those huge bbcs pounding your delicate bp, all straight guys do it!

>>8469709
no, but I had some unwanted fantasies about some male friends even wet dreams and was really ashamed of it, but didn't think about it all the time and was mostly into girls

>>8469522
>>8469559
wtf how the hell did she know?!

>>8469467
I was 6 when I started showing curious interest in male buddies
I was 8 when I had a crush on my deskmate
I was 11 when I started fantasizing doing lewd things about my male friends, this continued until at 14/15 I accepted the fact I was bisexual after so many thoughts after dreaming me walking hand in hand with my best friend, at 15 I also starting cope with the fact I was actually transgender and now I am 19 and transitioning, things are like this, it wouldn't better throwing excuses at any external facts.

>>8469559
Stop watching porn, and stop jerking off for the rest of the summer, and check back with us.

>>8469559
I think my trannyness is also just OCD. I do kind of recall wishing to be a girl while younger but I think my main fascination was with girls clothes and not necessarily dysphoria. Like I was obsessed with girls clothes. I used to always wish my mom would hide stuff like panties or girls clothes into my normal boys clothes I always got for Christmas or whatever. Though I hated actually crossdressing cause the clothes always make me look ugly but I sometimes still fapped in them. I guess I've gotten better at it now since I can buy my own stuff but I still look mannish.
Plus I think I kind of have a porn addiction or something. But despite dildoing my butt a ton and fantasizing about dudes fucking me I don't like watching gay porn or I read weird tg fetish erotica. But I tend to do it more often when depressed or anxious.
Plus most of the time I'm kind of okay with my body. I mean I'm a skinny beta manlet but gay dudes love that and I love bottoming. Somehow I think I just got agp-like symptoms even though I'm probably just gay.

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>>8470056
>I think my trannyness is also just OCD

that's not what OCD is.

"Common activities include hand washing, counting of things, and checking to see if a door is locked. Some may have difficulty throwing things out. These activities occur to such a degree that the person's daily life is negatively affected.[1] Often they take up more than an hour a day.[2] Most adults realize that the behaviors do not make sense.[1]"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder

>>8470125
I do a ton of ocd stuff. Like I'm chronically late for everything even when I attempt to be early cause I always obsess over my hair or I'll just start tweezing random hairs all over my body that I find.
Plus when I get fascinated by really weird specific things and will just go at it hardcore for a while then give it up. I've had a lot of addictions to MMO's, and I didn't play as a girl in all of them, I was a guy in Rift (though I did pretend to be a girl back in vanilla WoW lol)

I don't know how to explain it but I feel like if I find a topic on the internet or something I just like immerse myself in it. Plus I did my degree in chem so trans stuff just kind of fascinates me in a weird way.

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>>8470166
Don't try and diagnose yourself to seem interesting.
People who actually have OCD wash their hands until they bleed and they don't know why.
Actual mental illness is not a fun thing that kids are "fascinated by in a weird way"

>>8470225
Well maybe it's not actual ocd just a weird autist obsession then

Just let the thoughts come, trying to repress them makes it worse

>>8470225
>pretending to know anything about OCD
>"OCD is hand washing"

get the fuck outta here, anon, you obviously don't know shit.
compulsive behaviour can manifest in any sort of way and the other anon described their symptoms (i.e., classic invasive thoughts, compulsive grooming) is not at all out of line with OCD. not that I can really tell either way just from what they've posted.

tell me more, >>8470056
though bear in mind that you can be trans AND OCD.

>>8470289
Am I (OP) ocd? I mean, my only symptom is obsessive thoughts and being extremely depressed.. I don't think I'm mtf though, so idk.i thought I was female for a while and got legitimate dysphoria from that.

>>8470225
Don't try to tell people you know them better than they do, especially over the internet.

Also, you don't seem to know anything about mental illness. It's not binary, it's a spectrum. People don't go from perfectly healthy, to 'oh whoops why are my hands bleeding again' like flipping a switch. Mental health is complex, most people are aware of their symptoms, and no one claims to be 'special' because mental issues are actually really fucking common.

Now why are you so upset someone is ill, and getting recognition for it?

Is there anything you are struggling with?

>>8470289
I don't really know how to explain it. While I do kind of read transformation erotica and stuff now in the past I was mostly just super interested in girls clothes like princess dresses, corsets, pantyhose/stockings, etc. and had a lot of fantasies specifically around the clothes not necessarily transforming into a girl.
I don't recall fixating on my body so much, but I think I've kind of just meme'd myself into BDD because of porn, erotica, etc. and obviously stuff like that is super easy to get addicted to and overindulge in and it's just weirdly mixing with my past obsessions.