Why is ~24 the age at which repressors start to break down? It

>>8450926
I'm 30 and I regret it no more than when I was 26.

>>8450926
>>8450912
I got to the point where dysphoria is making my life unbearable and I figure at age 24 I still have a small chance at being happy if I transition. I feel like if I wait another few years there is no point in transitioning because there will be no chance at all at passing and all that will be left for me at that point is killing myself.

>>8450926
That's bullshit, I had little regret back then.

>>8450926
24 is when dysphoria got so bad i couldn't ignore it anymore. The thought of not starting hormones until i was 25 drove me to self med. I'm 25 now and been on hormones for 10 months, feels good :D

>>8450968
>>8450936
Why did the dysphoria get so bad?

>>8450971
I think maybe starting to go bald was a huge factor, i'm glad its on the reverse now. Also i had read that hips fuse at 25yo at the latest, so i was super depressed at most likely missing my chance, seems i at least got rotation though wich has added a few inches in width.

Also when i started at 24 i couldn't stand to look at my face, it had gotten so bad it made me feel disgusted. Now i actually like lookung at my cute face lol

>>8450926

>It looks like most on this board who regret repressing are this age

Something approaching 100% if not 100% exactly of all post-pubertal transitioners regret repressing. Most posters on the board are probably around that age too, so of course whatever people who are still repressing are likely to be that age.

>>8450934

That's because it increases in tiers instead of gradually, and you haven't moved into the next tier yet. At some point, it will just ratchet up suddenly to the next level. Maybe it will be another 11-20 years, but I bet it will happen.

>>8451000
The tiers might be common but I doubt it's universal. The cases where it does ratchet up will be overrepresented somewhere like while, since the cases for whom it doesn't have far less need to be here.

>>8450968
Do you pass?

>>8450971
I can't tell you exactly why, but every year it got worse since my teens and it finally got to the point where I really need to do something about it. Not to mention I feel like this is my last chance to turn out ok. Which I think about every single day.

>>8451000
What causes these tiers and how does one move on to the next tier?

It can happen anywhere from 17-25, the end of the formative years. These are when personality traits fully set in stone. Major personality disorders can't be diagnosed until after 18. Peak schizophrenia/bipolar disorder rates are during the early 20's. It usually takes until about your mid 20s to "set in place" as an adult. Anywhere along this process perversion can arise and lead to distress.

>>8451069
>tfw your dysphoria didn't become unbearable at 17
why live ;_;

>>8450926
Masculinization. Enough time out of high school and parents' rules to realize they are not well. I think that's it.
I hit the wall at 23. That second tier is still a bitch. If there was less social stigma about therapy I would have had the option to transition at 15. I thougt I was AGP, and that was my only understanding of dysphoria, so I kept it to myself. I still keep it to myself.

>>8451093
I really wish it got this bad at 17 instead of 24 at least it didn't become unbearable at 25 I guess

>>8451093
>Mfw I was told by subtle conditioning that my feelings don't matter and that effeminate people are funny to look at
I felt bad but feeling bad is just how I feel. I'm too worldly to be something as carefree as happy. I'm too loud and unscrupulous when joyful.

>>8450926
Question to the ones who repressed into their 20s and later: how did repressing feel?
When you were repressing, did you still feel disgusted at your body? Could you stand looking at yourself in the mirror?
More importantly, looking back, what could have "told" you that something was wrong? What signs did you ignore that should have led to you transitioning?
Thanks.

>>8451017
>do you pass?
Idk desu, i am still in boymode at 10months on hrt and i get called "buddy" alot by shop workers, i just assume they think I'm a 16yo boy or something. But recently when i take my dog walkies, this crazy lady yells out "FUCKING WHORE!" at me for making the dog in her yard bark, so i think maybe i am starting to fail boymode :)

>>8451607

I came out at 17 and got shoved back in the closet. Repressed until 21 and a half.

Felt weird. I had said I was trans to my parents but over time the thought I was trans faded from my mind. I just crossdressed, became depressed, learned how to use makeup, and hanged out in the same /lgbt/ circles just as a feminine gay guy who in the past said they were 'trans.'

I could only look in the mirror when I was trapping. I felt pretty disgusted by my body all the time cos of the body hair but frequent shaving helped fix that. I think this time of my life was sitting there and telling myself I didnt show signs and whatever signs I showed didnt mean I was trans. Everything had some convenient excuse or explanation. Anything that would save me from having to admit I was trans all along.

I was a dumbass and I paid the price. If I could go back to my past self I'd sit them down, give them a hug, and tell them the biggest sign was coming out as trans.

>>8450926
24 is when one has to live in the real adult world more fully (career, graduate college, etc), and the male gender role box gets locked down even tighter than in childhood.

Can confirm 24 started going to a psych to start hrt. I start in2 weeks now

File: fitness-sport.jpg (538KB, 1920x1200px) Image search: [Google]

538KB, 1920x1200px

>>8450926
24 is the year that got me too... Magic number I guess? I considered at 17 but society was shit back then, and the medical side of things was so scary. So then I gave it one last burst of repression. I likely wouldn't have got through university if I had transitioned then.

I was also finally able to support myself/was working then so that was a factor too! (~24 might be the age kids from the 90's were finishing school)


>>8451607
>Question to the ones who repressed into their 20s and later: how did repressing feel?
Repression is pretty terrible but actually less terrible than when things boil over. You compartmentalize part of yourself. You convince yourself that the gaping hole you feel in your life is other things. Dysphoria is different while repressing too. I also was self inserting as my girlfriend during sex and other stuff to help cope. Self hypnosis too. Just wanting to be a girl/knowing you should have been, but not actually feeling like a girl until things overflow. Then suddenly you feel like you are a girl and things are HORRIBLY HORRIBLY wrong. Like horror movie tier it hits all at once.

>When you were repressing, did you still feel disgusted at your body? Could you stand looking at yourself in the mirror?
During repression you can look at yourself in the mirror but there is a jarring sense that it isn't you. You are disassociated with yourself. You don't really care what you look like or how people perceive you to a degree.

>More importantly, looking back, what could have "told" you that something was wrong? What signs did you ignore that should have led to you transitioning?
Self inserting as a girl is a huge sign. Dreaming about being a girl. Being a girl in all your sexual fantasies. (in my case a lesbian woman) Waking up crying after dreams in which you are a girl. Seeing other girls and desperately wanting to take part in what they are doing instead of what the guys you are with are doing. Soo much more comment too long though.

>>8451109
I'm 18 now and although I have subtle dysphoria, it's not anything terrible. I'm afraid that it'll get worse once I start looking less and less like a teenager (I look young for my age) and more and more like an actual grown man. What should I do? I know the whole deal with transitioning now and all the risks involved, it's just I'm in a gray area where I don't know if I can or can't live the way I am now for the rest of my life. I don't want to make a mistake and be too hasty

>>8455156
That's actually exactly what happened to me. I was 18 but I looked young for my age and my dysphoria wasn't too bad so I figured I could deal with it. God was I wrong over the next few years my dysphoira got so much worse as I started to look like a man. It might not happen that way for you but it's possible.

>>8455169
>as I started to look like a man
what changes did you experience?

>>8455156
This >>8455169 is exactly what happened to me too.

>>8455169
this
also broke down and started HRT last year at 24

>>8455169
Should I get on AA's to give myself time to decide? This sounds like the right move, and I can certainly afford it for at least a little while, but if I do then I won't be able to tell if I would really hate being a man enough to warrant transitioning.

>>8455413

YES

>>8451093
>>8451109
yeah, I came out at 17 and I gotta say it wasn't smooth sailing. didn't get to actually do anything with it till I was about 21.

like >>8451653
except I started hormones at 17.

>>8455184
Not anon but you hate yourself more. I got distracted easier in fits of negative feelings. I started to be bothered more by my social interactions and found reliving my own memories to be painful. I smoke a lot of weed and can be a bit of a ditz but the self-introspection was too much. I look in the mirror less. I avoid eye contact and have a harder time associating with girls. I don't know about an increase but I constantly feel emotionally unsupported and like a lack in social relationships. I need some sort of contact I'm not getting. Sexual contact has been offered but it's too complicated for me to handle rn. I have much higher anxiety. I developed vertigo.
24 repressed transbian

>>8456212
Seriously start
I started at 24 and still don't pass but even so I can't imagine how much worse it would have gotten if I didn't

>>8455156
>What should I do?
Get on the 'mones right now!

>>8459086
I'm not gonna start hormones until I at least see a gender therapist about things. There's still a solid chance that I may be a normal cis guy capable of living with his gender, so I don't want to do anything permanent until I make up my mind.

>>8459271
Then get on an anti androgen while you figure yourself out. Not taking anything is actively choosing male development, not choosing to do nothing

>>8451607
Repressing feels...strange.
I had always tried crossdressing and making myself look as fem as possible during my entire life, but my "dysphoria" (for lack of a better word) hit me, when I saw how masculine I looked in female cloths.

I had been through alot already, so I started a "self improvement" phase. I cut my hair, and moved in my uncle to work out and stuff. People would call me "handsome" and stuff, but it only made me feel bad. I told myself that my muscles would fade if I just stopped working out, so it would be easy to go back. I didn't know trans existed, and thought that people like me just crossdressed and killed themselves or something. I kept trying to look masc, no matter how ugly I thought it was becouse I thought men were ugly "evidence i was straight and liked women". No matter how good I looked, or was told I looked, I hated myself. I would have fantasies about reuniting with my family and having long, beautiful hair, and looking like a girl.

Once I learned what transgender was, it saved me and ruined me at once. Now I'm seeing a gender therapist and probably getting started on hormones soon.

>>8460668
How old are you?

I started at 20.

I wish I started at 19.

>>8460714
I started at 21 and I wish I had born female to begin with.

>>8460735
Started at 22, wish I hadn't been born at all.

>>8460746
Started at 24 and wish I was dead

>>8460689
23. Going onto to 24 in December. Also, while repressing, I told myself that "my life was suffering" and that I need to "never forget who I am". I used this 'woe is me' mindset to push myself harder, working 3 jobs at once for a few years. I bought some land and a trailer.

>>8450968
You pass or make effort?? I'm same age I just dont
I'm super bull dike and dating a bisexual girl so like I was enjoying it... But now I wanna be a woman.... And I'm stuck.

>>8460758
Do you think you will end up passing?

>>8460749
I started at 34 and ブイトスザルト

>>8460795
Maybe. My therapist said I would. I'm about 5'9" and have been told I'm pretty cute, my boss (and a few others) joked (in a negative way) that I looked like a girl with long hair.

I'm honestly pretty feminine for my age and height, but there are no guarantees. I'll be starting hormones on the 30th of next month, and I've decided I'll be a test for people like me. I'll post the results of my transition when I'm done, the only thing I can hope for at this point is to help other transitioners figure themselves out.

>>8450926
I think it was around late 24/25ish when I first started noticing my temple hair receding. MPB is a living hell even for cis dudes.
I didn't get on HRT at the time though, was still drinking and doing drugs like crazy but I used a lignan supplements and fish oil, as well as a few other things, and my hair recession stopped but I don't think it's ever going to fully regrow. Nobody seems to be able to notice it except for me since it's kind of hidden, but to me it makes me want to kill myself every day I look in the mirror.

>>8460892
Well I seriously wish you good luck anon. I'm also 23 turning 24 this year and plan on transitioning. Hopefully we both make it.

>tfw 23
>been single a couple months now
>dated this girl since I was 16, for over 6 years
>when we started dating I was just on the verge of accepting I was trans
>Had long hair, shaved all my body hair, wore girl jeans and tight clothes (was on the tail end of the scene/emo trend so it wasnt too weird)
>she manned me up
>repressed for her cuz I loved her but also actually felt pretty good being a guy a lot of the time we were together
>it was very confusing but I wrote off my trans feelings as an OCD symptom since they kind of come and go
>break up
>everything I felt at 16 comes back tenfold

I think I'm going to come out to one of my friends soon and go on AAs while I figure out what the hell I want to do. Wish me luck girls

>>8450926
~24 is where you look unquestionably masculine and likely have too many secondary male features to transition successfully without surgery.