Anyone else trans-cis here?

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The problem is, it doesn't seem like any trans activists are actually cognizant of this, or see it as something wrong. To them, being trans is something to be proud of, so it doesn't matter if people see them as trans instead of cis. But for me, it runs completely counter to my original goals for myself, and the reason I transitioned. So with trans discourse having shifted so much, I've started identifying more and more as something different from trans.

I think that after I go stealth, I'll probably think of myself as cis and refer to myself as cis if it ever comes up, which it hopefully won't. Because I realize how fucked up that is. But in a way, isn't that what stealth was originally supposed to be about? Having everyone else think that you're a cis woman? The only thing that's changed is that cis people are more aware of trans people's existence now, so we kind of need to adapt, and start accepting that to be true stealth, we're going to need to lie in certain situations.

One problem with this is that I won't be able to enter relationships, because they would find out eventually, and then I'd have to cut someone I love out of my life. But maybe I'm okay with that? Maybe relationships aren't that important? I'm honestly not sure right now.

I am cis, but you obviously aren't a cis woman? You can't be something you aren't. Seems like you are going to hurt yourself if you think that way too much.

I know a visibly trans woman, I always try to be respectful of her and use "she" pronouns and be friendly to her.

If you want to pass as cis maybe get a fake pregnancy belly and wear that.

Being trans cis is like being trans race or trans species. You might want to be cis but you can't just stick "trans" in front of anything you want to be. A trans woman might be a woman, depending on how you define woman, but a trans cis is not a cis.

>>8448272
>The problem is, it doesn't seem like any trans activists are actually cognizant of this, or see it as something wrong. To them, being trans is something to be proud of, so it doesn't matter if people see them as trans instead of cis.
They wouldn't be trans activists if they wanted to be seen as cis, would they now?

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>it's the "semi-passable late transitioner twinkhon is sad because she can't pass flawlessly for a cis woman" episode

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>>8448305
>I know a visibly trans woman, I always try to be respectful of her and use "she" pronouns and be friendly to her.

But you don't think of her as a woman the same way you conceptualize yourself and other cis women as women, that's the problem I'm talking about.

>>8448312
I know that I wouldn't actually be cis in the sense that I was born with XY chromosomes and all that, but the point is to have everyone else think I'm cis, so they don't see me the wrong way or get the wrong idea.

>>8448347
I'm not a twinkhon.

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>>8448394
Why do you have to be in denial about this? Just embrace your outer Hari Nef my man.

>>8448408
Because I'm nothing like her, please stop

You will never, ever, ever be cis. You're talking about abandoning people to maintain a lie. That's not just social maladjustment--you are really fucked up in the head.

>>8448427
>please stop
Hit a nerve, ... hon?

>>8448394
Not in the SAME way, no. But in a different way, no less precious and no less a woman.

>>8448272
>Maybe I'm just too cynical or pessimistic, but I don't think anyone can ever actually "see you as a real woman", at least not in the same way they see cis women, after they've clocked you.
Right. I wouldn't say it's quite impossible, but it would take them either being a rare person who doesn't care about that or being someone who knows you well enough they they just think of you as the person they know, without needing to categorize you as a man or woman. I think you could have a partner who sees you as a woman that way.

Many MTFs accept "I see you as a real woman" because they know they can't get the guaranteed being seen as a woman that is passing and stealth. Hons cope with this by deluding themselves that they pass and being obsessed with pronouns, younger MTFs compensate with their pride of being trans and also with a pronoun obsession.

But there are plenty of other trans people like you. They will be less visible and less likely to be posting here, but they exist. You can tell they do by the big deals that are made over passing.

The trans people who care about it the most are HSTS. That's why you feel like there's only the two of you who do.

>>8448293
>I think that after I go stealth, I'll probably think of myself as cis and refer to myself as cis if it ever comes up, which it hopefully won't. Because I realize how fucked up that is. But in a way, isn't that what stealth was originally supposed to be about?
Yes, that's literally what stealth is. Stealth is basically guaranteed to require some lying.

>One problem with this is that I won't be able to enter relationships, because they would find out eventually, and then I'd have to cut someone I love out of my life.
You need to decide if blanket stealth to the point of cutting ties with anyone who knows is worth it or whether exceptions for very close friends such as partners are acceptable.

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>>8448293
>I think that after I go stealth
I doubt that'll ever happen. First off, you are a late transitioner so sit your naïve twinkhon ass down. Second, if you really passed you wouldn't shit blocks of text about passing on our modest little Nigerian wood-carving board but instead actually lived your stealth trans life.

Wishful thinking like that makes me think /tttt/ somehow became Susans 2.0 in the process tbqh.

>>8448572
This.

Fuck off OP. You're a hon and you'll never go stealth. Hari Nef passes better than you. This board's gone to shit.

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>>8448539
>I think you could have a partner who sees you as a woman that way.
>You need to decide if blanket stealth to the point of cutting ties with anyone who knows is worth it or whether exceptions for very close friends such as partners are acceptable.

Maybe. I fantasize about it. But I'm really scared of getting hurt. I've been conditioned to abandon other people before they can abandon me....

>>8448572
Lol what the fuck is your guys' problem? Are you trans women, cis guys, or what? What is this about? And why are you obsessed with Hari?

OP I'll be candid because going all "no, you're perfect, you look great" would feel fake to me and you wouldn't believe it for a sec either.

Your obstacle isn't how others perceive you, it's self-esteem.
You're stuck in a pattern where you keep obsessing over your body (which distorts your perceptions, I keep clocking cis women in the street now because of this goddamn place), and keep posting here for approval which you won't get since this is the last place on earth that can give you that.
You might think of self-acceptance as "giving up", but self-love is a basic human need (think Maslow's hierarchy) and you need it if you truly want to thrive.

I'm still struggling with self-esteem, though I've made progress. It feels good when one day, you start seeing something you were really insecure about, as being completely insignificant.
Don't despair, you aren't stuck feeling like this forever. Work on your self-esteem (which btw won't prevent you from continuing to improve your body, on the contrary).

>>8448689
>Maybe. I fantasize about it. But I'm really scared of getting hurt. I've been conditioned to abandon other people before they can abandon me....
Same. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time because of this.

Trans is just a process, people are either male, female, or intersex.

Being clocked as trans is like someone asking how your cancer recovery is going because you're bald.

>>8448347
What defines late transitioner?

Is 21 late?

>>8449056
30+

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>>8448834
Maybe you're right that I need therapy before I pursue this kind of thing, like how you're supposed to get BDD therapy before surgery. Or else it'll still be on my mind way too much.

>>8448991
I would be more okay with it if people saw it like that, but people don't really see being trans the same way they see cancer. Women with cancer are seen as, well.... women with cancer, not "cancerous women".

>>8448272
I feel very similar and to be honest I don't blame you for wanting to lie. The only people I'm okay with knowing it are my family and my partner (who I only want to know so that he can support me with it emotionally). The whole reason I'm transitioning is because I want to be female, just becoming "a tranny" or something would completely defeat the point of my efforts.
What I'm aiming for with my transition is that I will be able to convince myself that I'm no less of a woman than any other woman is. A point where I can genuinely say, in spite of my quirks, that I am female.
That's the future I envision in a decade or so and what I'm doing it all for. I'll just work hard to overcome every obstacle I encounter on the way, and once I reach that point, there should never be a reason for me to admit to being trans. Even if people find evidence, I'll just brush it off as slander, and I'm sure people will jump to my side then for "incorrectly" assuming I'm trans.

>>8449056
16+

>>8448272
This is why I never tell anyone I'm trans. As soon as they know u go from being women to other. Even if they don't intend to be mean about It, or actively think about it it happens. Subtle things can change and I fucking hate it.

Has everyone on /tttt/ gone full Cara-esque stupid or something? Why the fuck are all of you telling Commie-Chan of all people that she can't pass?? She started hrt at 15, she's like 5"3 (I think), and has full cis girl proportions. Like, if you guys want to argue whether she's attractive, or socially like a cis girl, okay, but in terms of physical passibility, she's one of the few trans girls here who can actually look like a fucking girl and go stealth.

>>8450554
she's 5'10''

>>8450554
ok commie chan

I know exactly what you mean OP. People treat you different in subtle, highly gendered ways and it causes me boats of dysphoria. I can only semi pass and it sucks.

>>8450554
Can your circlejerk just fuck off to discord for good?

>>8450554
>she's one of the few trans girls here who can actually look like a fucking girl and go stealth.
you'd never know it listening to her

>>8450585
>People treat you different in subtle, highly gendered ways
???

>>8448272
>find a lot of trans women are okay with being clocked in social settings, as long as the other person understands that they're a trans woman and not a cis man
Those are hons and by default that makes them cis men. There is only man or woman.

>>8450606
they don't flirt with you or attempt to court you when they see you as male first
it's weird

>>8450700
That sounds quite minor unless it influences lots of other behavior. In which case, what?

>>8450704
it's very minor, but you feel distinctly inferior to other women when it happens

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>>8450762
Butcha are Blanche!
Ya are inferior to other girls!

>>8450762
What kinds of things?

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>>8450554
>>8450559
I'm 5'7''

>>8450597
I know the difference between passing as a girl to cis people and passing as AFAB to trained observers. It's like those paintings where some people see a young woman and some people see an old hag. At first I look in the mirror and feel good about myself, but then if I look hard enough, it goes wrong.

>>8450924
>5'7''
That's not what you said before. Oops, forgot to sage.

>>8450939
What did I say before? 5'8''? I've never said I was 5'3'' or 5'10''. When I go to the doctor's and they put me on the scale, it says 5'7'', I don't trust anything else.

>>8450950
>Oops, forgot to sage.
Lol, did you seriously just delete your post and repost because you forgot to sage?

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>>8450924
I think your problem is less that you have tranny indicators, and more that you're just not that attractive. So, you know, get hot. Seriously, being a hot girl trumps all tranny shit. Look at Carmen Carrera for example, by all logic she's a hon, yet most people never think that about her because she's utterly fucking hot. If you don't want "trained observers" to clock you, become more attractive so that they go from thinking tranny to thinking attractive exotic chick.

>>8451019
Her problem is that no matter how good the body, cues from her male mind clock her.

>>8451019

Did she get some kind of hip augmentation?

Wow.

Although there are definitely still quite a few clockable features.

>>8450606
It's in body language, voice tonality and facial expressions. There are rough patterns you can discern in how people interact with males or females. With females it's a little softer, if that makes sense. With men it's a bit more rigid. Idk

>>8451019

>just be good looking lmao

>>8451019
kek, overly attractive women are more clockable because most cis women are ugly
>>8448539
>The trans people who care about it the most are HSTS
yeah, i've talked about that with her in the past -- commie-chan is absurdly noncentral for someone who's technically agp
>>8448408
>>8448572
carth/commie-chan didn't work out, huh?

>>8451060
>carth/commie-chan didn't work out, huh?

That's not Carth.... Carth wouldn't betray me like that just because I stopped talking to him.... And it doesn't have the little green clover that his posts have.....

>>8451075
He's probably decided to go for more attractive trannies desu

>>8451060
>commie-chan is absurdly noncentral for someone who's technically agp
Tell me more about feminine outliers.

>>8451081
Well, I know he has sex with lots of girls, I don't really mind about that.... But I don't think he'd be so mean.....

>>8451075
you can turn the green clover on and off, it's a sign that you have a 4chan pass
>>8451088
there are two people i've encountered who are outliers, commie-chan and a girl on rattumblr, and both are outliers in completely different ways -- there's nothing i can consistently say between the two of them, let alone apply to hypothetical others