Explaining gender dysphoria to cis people

>>8439335
Ftm here but

A sense of something being fundamentally wrong about your body. Like if you looked down and saw your foot twisted backwards or your entrails spilling out. There's a horrific, instinctual sinking of the gut when your body isn't as it should be, except everyone thinks your body is fine and you learn to live with it every day

>>8439355
i dont think its that, uh, gruesome for everyone

>>8439355
This exactly.
And socially, it's almost like being forced into an ugly monster costume at birth that you KNOW isn't you, but everyone seems to think it's you and treats you based on it.
Puberty is almost like watching thousands of horrible scars appear all over your face, irreversible ones, but you can't do anything about it (unless you self med which ftms can't do really). And despite your dysphoria, discomfort, suicidal thoughts over these scars, some people sexualize them and make you feel twenty times worse.

>>8439415
Hey man, I can only speak to my experience

>>8439335
"a mental disorder where you think you're the opposite sex"

>>8439335
I try and describe it comparatively. Euphoria is a word most people understand, and it basically means "intense happiness". When you feel euphoric, it's as if nothing you think of can spoil your mood, you're just positive and feel great and everything's clicking. Dysphoria is the opposite of that. You feel like everything's wrong, you feel ill and sometimes suicidally pessimistic, and nothing you do or think will fix it. it's "intense sadness".

that's the best one I could think of. the "imagine you look down and you have a different body" seems to be lost on most people, so I try not to employ it as an explanation

>>8439335
I fucking love that comic.

Bump for interest

>>8439355
this is what it's like for me
I can't stop trying to pluck out my beard and body hair
Its always fucking there no matter how much I shave

>>8439335
If I'm talking to a girl, I would say "imagine you, in your current body, waking up one day with a full beard, a massive growth spurt that your body won't catch up to, and a low voice.

You'd feel ugly, would you not? Now imagine you try and fix these issues and people start looking at you funny, they all do it, but for some reason, when you do it, they rudicule or point and murmer"

That's at least an insight as to how the social aspect of it works, I'd go on to say there's a lot more that's innate from birth, that's difficult to explain, like intense suicidal sadness and you know the reason is illogical, so you feel like you're losing your mind because you can't make sense of the situation, then probably go on about >>8439355

It's like wearing a suit that looks good but feels like crap.

People tell you that you look good in it but in reality it's just really uncomfortable for you. It isnt impossible to live in that suit but it still sucks and you need to get out of it eventually.

If you try making a change to the suit to make it more comfortable you might be able to get away with it but if it's too obvious then people lash out. People cant comprehend that you personally dont like it since their suit or dress is fine.

The best way to fix the problem would be to either change suits or wear a dress. But really the problem applies to all suits and as the days and months and years draw on you begin desiring to be free from your physical prison and maybe just not wear a suit anymore.

And so you might find ways to cope, maybe find ways to deny you hate the suit, but it is nevertheless uncomfortable and growing worse day by day. Towards the end, you realize if you dont fix it now then the suit is going to kill you. You might commit suicide, you might die from a suit-related medical condition, the "how" is irrelevant. You need to take that shit off even if other people say you looked fine or they had no clue since their suit was okay.

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>tfw tried to read this as some shitty slam poetry but couldn't even do that because there's no sense of rhythm

>>8439335
I haven't had much luck explaining gender dysphoria to people. It's so far outside their experience that they never really understand even if they're sympathetic.

I used to feel like I was falling into a bottomless well, or like I was being bricked up into a wall, or that my body was becoming horribly mutated and disfigured. Like living a horror movie. Thankfully I don't feel like that now that I've transitioned, but I still feel disconnected and alienated from my pre-transition self, like that wasn't really me.

the same pang of disconnect and dread you feel when initially experiencing grief - except you feel it whenever you become too aware of your form or the space you occupy.
and like grief it is followed by a dulled aching and a sort of resentment you feel towards any and everyone who persists despite your pain.

it was the same feeling I got when I was told I had cancer, and the same as when I hear a friend has passed. except much more sublimated and extrapolated over years.

hope that doesn't sound too melodramatic. it's pretty much abated entirely through transition, too, unlike actual grief which is a bit more of an intangible thing.

to explain the feeling to a cis person i would say something like
"Imagine you had a leech on your skin, you'd feel disgusted by it right, and you'd want to get it off. Now imagine you can't get it off you'd feel frustrated right? After a while can you see how having that leech there for as long as you can remember you'd get depressed and feel trapped by it. Maybe you learn how to disconnect from your body but every time you brush up against that leech or any time someone talks about leeches you get reminded that that leech is still there. Now imagine that feeling over your whole body, that's what my dysphoria is like at it's worse. Can you see how taking drugs my whole life, being discriminated against, possibly looking like some half man half woman amalgamation and being worried about if you meet the wrong person and you get completely beat up is preferable to that fucking leech?"

>>8443164
are you saying your penis sucks your blood?

>>8443164
>but every time you brush up against that leech or any time someone talks about leeches you get reminded that that leech is still there

The difference is that all of us decide to spend our time on a board about leeches where we see pictures of leeches at all times every day, and we also see bodies of girls with clean perfect bodies unblemished by leeches.

>>8443271
Because we're all masochists.

>>8443336
This

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>>8439335
Idk it's like a sinking feeling in my stomach that just keeps on falling. It feels kind of like anxiety but it happens way more often

>>8439335
>>8443202

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>>8439335
This is how I describe sex dysphoria as a MtF who started HRT at age 19 and srs at age 21. I am now 24 and pass for the most part except the very attentative aware types of people who still respect and understand what it's actually like...

My own feelings of what dysphoria feels like part 1

Complete and utter isolation. The chill you feel from a true sense of dread and fear. Cold and alone exhaustion. Imagine being depressed and multiply that by 1000. You feel like nothing about yourself is correct and noone one out there will understand. The realization that it will never end. A true sense of loss like losing a family member or loved one. The realization that all those years have been a fraud and society and the people around you still believe in that fraud. Like knowing somthing that everyone else does not know and when you try to explain it they think you are crazy.
An utter sense of jelously constant and never ending jelously when you see somone with a natal female body and you know they have no idea how good they have it. Realizing that your body will never function like thiers. Feeling like you are out of place in the world and that you wish you didn't exist. Knowing that the more you try and fix your body society starts putting expectations on you to fulfill but you don't get the same expectations back like you've been cheated.

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>>8444608
My own feelings of what dysphoria feels like part 2

The physical sensations when you move your body are like trying to move in a completely submerged vat of gel. Every part of your body especially the more masculine parts just feel more bogged down in that gel and it feels numb like someone is injecting gel inside your skin. You feel like you are swallowing rocks everytime you speak even though you try so hard to sound like a natal female. Theres just a giant rock lodged into your throat and you feel it even more everytime you swallow or breath. When you stop and think about it It's like rubbing sand paper on the most dysphoric parts of your body. It's like you want to rip your limbs off in a desperate attempt to be rid of the undesirable parts and be happy they are gone. It's like looking down and seeing a different person but knowing it's you at the same time.

Desperation... tiredness... empytiness... Isolation

When you try to forget but it's always there. The feeling is always there no matter how hard you distract yourself. No matter how strong your mind is at meditating in the end that feeling is always there. And the worst part is you have to hide it and try and be happy with life and focus on social interactions while all of this occurs. In my opinion this is hell. I must have done somthing horrible in a my past life if that's a thing. Wishing you did'nt exist to begin with.

>>8444608
>>8444613

Yep

Tell the story of the John/Joan case, skipping the sexual abuse parts.

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>>8439335
This pic sums it up pretty well, especially the post talking about how your face doesn't feel like *your* face and your voice doesn't sound like *your* voice and you basically have to go through life wearing some kind of fake body over the real body you should have.

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Jesus answered, Verily, verily I say unto thee, except a man be borne of water and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdome of God.

6 That which is borne of the flesh, is flesh, and that which is borne of the spirit, is spirit.

7 Marveile not that I saide unto thee, Ye must be borne againe.

>>8439335
It's like borderline personality disorder, except it's firmly centred around the whole conceivable package of things gender related.

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I'm not really sure how to explain what it feels like outside of giving examples. desu it's probably because I'm terrible at explaining/understanding emotions anyways.
One example: Before I transitioned I couldn't stand looking in mirrors. I'd see someone who wasn't me, what I saw wasn't how I saw myself in my mind's eye. I'd think of myself as a girl, see a guy in the mirror, and it'd take a few moments before I realized that that was me. There was always this really weird disconnect from what I was seeing, it was wrong. I knew, logically, "the person staring back at me in a mirror has to be me, that's how mirrors work", but I still couldn't accept that that was who I am.
If I passed by a mirror/reflective surface, and I saw my reflection out of the corner of my eye I wouldn't know it was me, it was like seeing a stranger. It'd take half a second for me to realize, "oh, yeah, that's who I am...". I always ended feeling depressed afterwards.
Not sure if a cis person would understand those feelings, though

>>8447929
Is being trans just like being an ugly cis person? Like thats just how I felt when I was uglier.

>>8447969
Yeah if ugly people were completely separate social category cause people also treat you differently from your peers

>>8448280

Ugly people do get treated differently.

>>8448284
That's why I said "completely separate", sorry I wasn't clear there
Ugly women get treated like some kinda defective version of women, not men
If you compare how men and ugly women are treated the latter still have more in common with regular women despite differences
So it's similar to being ugly but with a stronger effect socially

>>8447969
>>8448280
>>8448284
Ugly people don't get refused basic social entitlements, like being allowed to buy products or services.

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