Advice for a gay man

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>>8423739
>thinking gays are anything but sex seeking automatons

HAHAHA

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>>8423952
But, I don't want sex with him - at least, not right now.

I would rather talk to him, and be able to reach that point when we can kiss and hold each other. Sex is overrated - you can literally get the same result using your own hand. But actual affection? Only someone else can give you that.

>>8423739
Coffee or lunch, imo. Less committal. Probably should drop a few hints you like him if you work at the same place too. So that you can figure out if he's into you at least as friend first.

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>>8423952
because straight men don't want sex

>>8423974
I don't disagree with that, all I'm saying is he's probably a sex crazed slut like all other gays

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>>8423982
Straight men are sex crazed drones as well. Of course women have their own problems, being crazy and all

>>8423739
"Top or bottom?"

>>8423975
The problem is that we don't really talk, aside from polite greetings and some words every now and then. But he's really handsome, and gay. And yeah, it's at work.

The worst he can do is say "no", right?

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>>8423994
protip: gay = bottom

Ask him out for coffee. Don't over think this. Remember, this is supposed to be something fun. If he says no or comes up with excuses, just say something along the lines of. 'okay, I was just wondering' and leave it at that.

flirting with or asking out a coworker is unacceptable

>>8424100
What am I then? I never bottom

>>8426128
Bullshit

And don't be wishy-washy. Don't say "Would you like to grab coffee". Say "I'd like to take you out for coffee/drinks." Make it clear you are asking him out.

>>8423739
>Coffee all the way

Dinner still could be a non-romantic thing, sends less clear message

>>8426729
"I'd like to take you out" makes it sound like I'll be paying.

>>8426764
You should pay if you're the one who wants to take him out.

>>8426849
:/

>>8426864
>i want to go out on a date
>i don't want any of the responsibilities of taking someone out on a date

>>8426877
What are you suggesting, that I'm trans?

>>8426898
How the hell did you pull trans from what I said?

>>8423739
Where're u from? I'll ask you out, Anon.

>>8423739
Has this person shown any interest in you?? If no, then let it go and don't make things awkward for him and yourself.

>>8426729
>>8426864
Don't listen to him, Anon. If he's a big romantic type, he'll offer to pay, and you can offer to pay the next date. If he doesn't offer to pay, he's fine with going Dutch. Gay men who expect to be wined and dined aren't worth you're time.

>>8426917
I think everyone's on edge because muh blanchard makes u tranny meme.

Calm down niggas, not erryone's trying to turn you girl!

>>8426994
>Ask someone who is my interested in you out on a date
>Expect them to be "romantic" and offer to pay
>Not being the first "romantic" one and offering to pay

Have you even been on a date? I'm talking irl.

>>8426957
>Has this person shown any interest in you??

No.

And what's wrong with asking? I do know he's gay, and I find him attractive. I'm not even asking him on a date, just out for coffee. If he doesn't want to, he can just say 'no', and that'll be the end of it.

Have you considered the tactic most straight males go with?

A.K.A make no attempt to make your interest clear and just randomly send a dick pic. If they get annoyed say it was a mistake.

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Can someone help me out? I've been "seeing" this guy ever for a few weeks now since coming to a handful of people last month. We went out on one date (lunch date) and really got to know each other better. He was touching me so much and saying how cute I was which caught me off guard because this was our first date.

The next day we were at my house watching a movie and again, he was all over me hugging and kissing me. It felt akward at first, but then it felt really nice and for once in my life, I truly felt in love.

Last night we went to the pride festival in DC and talked, touched, held hands even more, but then he saw his ex-boyfriend (who's dating a girl) and they started hugging.

That moment completely crushed me, but I tried not to think anything of it. Now here's the problem. I'm completely obsessed with him but we're still not official. Even though he was always the first one to be all over me, I don't think he actually likes me. I really love him and I just want to know if we can just be together.

I fucking hate playing these mind games, reading inbetween the lines, and guessing all of the time.Should I just continue to wait? Or just stop talking to him? Do you think he actually wants to be with me? I'm so confused (and I've never had a bf or gf before)

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>>8427565
>>8427565
Can you seriously go make your own thread? Our respective situations are nothing alike: in your case, this person you're posting about is already physically and emotionally affectionate with you, and is - for all effects and purposes - already your significant other. On my part, this person I want to ask out is in essence a stranger, who will most likely reject me with some dumb excuse because I'm not up to his ridiculously high standards.

>>8426398
Str8 duh

>>8427565
He's only with you to spite his ex

>>8428583
I like ravaging cute twink boipu$$y though

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>>8423739
>coffee or dinner

coffee is less of a commitment and it is easier to leave when/if you discover that you have nothing in common and are no longer interested in pursuing them.
also cheaper and you have to pay since you invited them, so....

but if you really like someone and you have money and you want to impress them then dinner with a nice bottle of wine is a better way to get them into bed, if that is what you want to do. when you spend a lot of money on someone they will often feel obligated to give you sex, even if they're not attracted to you, in the interests of fairness, so...

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>>8430838
I wish you would ravage mine.
Where are you?

>>8428456

If you ask someone out, you pay, it's common courtesy. Your response to that is :/

Then don't ask him out for something that costs money, go to a park or something shit if you're really too cheap to spend a few bucks on someone you're interested in you don't deserve it.

>>8423739
Ask him for coffee or to see a movie (at the theater) It doesn't need to be complex

>>8432296
>to see a movie

this is bad advice.
you can't talk during a movie so you don't get to know each other.

>>8430904
>got rid of his long beautiful hair
fucking ew michelle

>>8432296
Coffee is best.
Movie is for 3rd+ date when you want to give him a blow/handy

>>8430904
Central Europe, hbu?

Got discore?

>>8432520
>discore
Fml

>coffee
Make that hot coffee.

>>8424073
>The worst he can do is say "no", right?

No it's not. It's at work. People talk. Unlike casual social circles which are largely replaceable and malleable, work is by definition a rigid social environment where any faux pases will stay with you for a very long time.

In general it's pretty stupid to ask people you had an opportunity to but haven't managed to make a social link with out on dates. Like just use common sense - if you're not compatible enough to be casual friends how could you possibly expect to be compatible enough to be boyfriends?

Get to know the guy better, see if you ever become friends and if he gives you signals of being interested or if you ever stop being workmates then go for it. Otherwise you just risk making a bad name for yourself ("that guy who asks workmates out out of nowhere") or just creating an awkward atmosphere in the place you've got to spend a majority of your waking life at. It's not worth the risk.

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What are the chances two gay dudes end up working in the same place? Pretty slim. In such circumstances, and in light of the two of you being gay, I think it's not unreasonable to ask him out for some casual 'date' like coffee. Of course, it won't be anything too formal or with strings attached: merely a little get-together to talk some.

Do it, OP, and post how it goes.

>>8434442
Depends on where he lives honestly. If he lives in a city with a large gay population then that may be a problem.

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>>8434473
Gays are a tiny subset of any given population: even in cities with relatively large gay populations, they are vastly outnumbered by heterosexuals. And what I posted as advice for the OP would still stand.

>recently start questioning my orientation
>download grindr to see what it's like
>someone 15 feet away from me in my apartment
>panic and delete the app instantly
w e w

>>8434689
Ride dat diqq

>>8423739
First base is anal
Second base is a name
Third base is coffee

Follow the proper procedure OP.

>>8432609
You are such an autist.

Who hurt you, Gaynon?

>>8427035
Many. Which is why I know what I'm talking about. If you say "want to grab a drink sometime?" There's zero obligation for you to be the one to foot the bill.

Imo this shit isn't romantic, it's annoying. Just pay you own check and I'll pay mine. If the guy offers to pay mine that's fine, but it doesn't improve my view of them at all.