Dysphoria getting worse every year and I know I have like no

>>8419976
Are you absolutely sure you have no chance of passing? A lot of dysphoric people hate their bodies so much that they think they can't pass when the situation isn't actually that bad.

I know how you feel senpai. i used to feel this way too.
It's never too late to transition though.
I know others who have transitioned in their 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, and even a ww2 vet who transitioned in her 90's.

>>8419985
It's a low chance for sure.

>>8419989
I wish I could transition and not give a fuck about how I look like them.

>>8419976
>>8420073
A low chance is better than no chance, right? I'm sorry life has dealt you a rough hand. It's not fair. You still have to make the best of it though. Please don't give up. There are people who care for you. You can do this.

Do you have a friend or a therapist you can talk to?

I hear you. These days I just try to dissociate and play video games.

I stopped caring about the future.

>>8419989
Well "too late" typically means losing the ability to blend into society as a normal(ish) woman.
Sure there's no 'too late" in terms of seeking medical care, but lets be real, there is such a thing as too late.

>>8420456
What age do you think is too late?

>>8420606
the age where you can not blend in as a normal woman.

well you know what they say, there's always suicide

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>>8419976
I know how you're feeling, that's how I felt almost the entire week. I almost came close to losing my shit at work on Friday. I'm 24 years old now and I have no chance in hell of ever passing.

>>8421249
Why didn't you transition sooner? It's not too late anon. At least get on the hormones.

>>8419976
I'm in the exact same situation anon.

My life is pretty much ruined at this point and I don't even have any excuses for it. It's all my fault for being like this, I don't have an excuse like having parents that hate me or being abused or anything.

I'm just a mentally ill defective faggot

>>8421272
>all my fault for being like this
why's that anon :(

>>8421276
I don't know, nothing traumatized me as a kid or anything like that.

It just ended up that I was born a mentally ill tranny fag. There was nothing in my life that would have caused me to be like this and I've wanted to be a girl for long enough I'm pretty sure I was just screwed at birth.

And now I'm probably just going to end up killing myself because I deluded myself into thinking it would be okay and I'd deal with wanting to be a girl but I can't deal with it at all.

I guess I know what theoretically I'd have to do to fix it but I don't have any motivation and don't really care any more and haven't cared for a while.

>>8421272
Unless your parents gave you a genderless upbringing it's not "all your fault"

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>>8421256
Because I only just realized lately that I might actually be trans. I've always had the thought before in the past, but either repressed or told myself that surely I'm not.

>>8421297
There isn't any way they could have known. I never told anyone I wanted to be a girl. The earliest stuff I remember was at like 7/8/9 I would always dream or daydream of waking up as a girl my age (with long brown hair that looked like mine except mine was short). I know I never admitted it to anyone though, I didn't even think it was weird, it was 100% normal to me.

Up until I was 13~ I thought everything would be okay and it was normal and then I realized that it wasn't normal and no other guy I knew wanted to be a girl.

It's funny though thinking back, I knew this kid in elementary school that now I would say I almost think was 100% trans, he was friends with all the girls did gymnastics, basically a girl except he had a guys body. He came to my house one time and we played a game where we pretended we were girls. Wonder if he was a tranny or just super gay. Ended up moving away in 5th grade though so I have no idea how he turned out.

>>8421310
The fact you hid it when you realized it was unusual was because you knew it was shameful. That shame you were taught, perhaps by your peers and teachers more than your parents, is to blame.

>>8421310
Are you saying that your parents would have let you grow your hair to your dream length? Would have let you wear dresses if you asked?
If it was so normal why didn't you tell anyone?
Basically this
>>8421325

>>8421249
Same I'm only a year younger than you I'm 23. I wont lie it could be worse, but it definitely wouldn't be easy for me to pass.

>>8421272
>>8421290
>>8421310
Iktf. My parents were great to me I had a great childhood. It's all my fault even now feeling like shit and feeling like everything is pointless. I've had trans feelings my whole life I could've done something about them years ago, but I chose to repress unfortunately.

>>8421347
>My parents were great to me I had a great childhood. It's all my fault
What do you say to >>8421325 and >>8421338 ?

>>8421338
>>8421325


I had long hair when I was older 13/14 and I'd get mistaken for a girl sometimes like if we went to a restaurant and it was always a big "hahahah he got mistaken as a girl he's not a girl hahahah" deal

But it's not like they could have known "my kid is a tranny I shouldn't do that"


My hair is now again longer but I keep thinking about cutting it short/shaving my head. It makes me feel sort of feminine to have long hair and sometimes I can look in the mirror and think I'm girly but it hurts to tease myself like that.

When I have really short hair I look in the mirror and it's like I'm not even looking at myself or a person. It makes it easier in some ways and worse in others.

>>8421360
I wasn't exactly stupid when I was a kid. I knew boys were boys and girls were girls. Maybe I did have some shame and I regret it greatly. My parents would've let me grow my hair, I don't know about dresses though. I wish I was who I wanted to be instead of trying to be something else.

>>8421368
>>8421376
That right there is why it's not all your fault. You're showing how your parents essentially forced you into the gender that you didn't want to be, and naturally this either results in rebellion or repression. It's not your fault that your personality was inclined toward repression, it's your parents' fault for putting you into that situation to begin with. If your gender was as much of a valid choice for you as whether you wanted Apple or Orange juice with your breakfast then I'd be more inclined to letting you hold the blame.

>>8421368
>>8421376
What about school? How did teachers and other adults treat you like a boy and not give you a choice in the matter?

>>8421408
Well yeah they do that with everyone.

>>8421388
I mean I honestly could've told my parents or somebody at any point and I should've and that is my fault. I understand what you're saying though.

>>8421422
>Well yeah they do that with everyone.
How much did they do it to you? How badly did it affect you?

>>8421422
In what I'm saying is that a huge part of the reason why you never told anyone is because they beat you over the head with the gender they wanted you to be.
Literally no kid ever repressed their desire for orange juice

>>8421408
I mean just like normal. Idk, I pretty much didn't do anything during school I was just sort of unnoticed.

>>8421432
Yeah but past a certain age it is personally my fault for doing nothing. Being sad is no excuse.

>>8421428
Well I guess I did end up trying to be a boy since it was expected of me.

>>8421432
You're right anon. Still I'll never get over the blaming myself for never telling anyone when I was young.

>>8421432
>>8421449
>Yeah but past a certain age it is personally my fault for doing nothing. Being sad is no excuse.
This too

>>8421449
Don't blame yourself. People are taught not to question these things.

>>8420304
Did you reach a point where your grades plummeted?

At least if things get too bad you can always kill yourself

>>8420304
Same lol

>>8419976
I've given up on having a good future or making anyone proud of me. I'm a freak and even if I pass, I'll still be a man in some way or another.

I just want to make the best of it for a few more years and then kill myself and that's okay imo.

>>8419976
Same. I don't care what happens to me anymore. If I got cancer, I'd probably be relieved. If my parents didn't love me so much, I'd probably be killing myself very soon, but I've been such a disappointment thus far, I don't want to top it off by making them sad. I'll probably still do it in a few years though. In the mean time, I've got books/TV/video games to try to distract myself with. I just wish those things were still fun.

>>8422954
Yep, I never really cared that much in highschool, graduated with a 3.65 GPA which isn't terrible but isn't that good either.


In college I was doing okay because the classes were easy but I went from all As to now I got a C in calc2 and i'm probably gonna get a C in my CompSci3 class. I don't even like computer science though, I just went to college because I was supposed to.

Don't know if I'm even gonna go back after this summer since I know it's just gonna get worse and worse. Completing work and giving a shit is so hard, I barely am able to do that and I don't have a job or friends or anything.

>>8422954
I haven't been in school for years... I dropped out in 11th grade. The few friends I have look down on me for that.

(I'm the person you replied to btw)

>>8425991
so relatable it hurts, when you feel it'd be a relief to get terminal illness
or stop eating thinking it woudve been nice to just die of anorexia

>son, you are looking even skinnier than last time you visited us, is everything ok? are you sick?
>I dont know.....


Im not even sure anymore what came first depression or my gender problems

>>8426560
my gender problems didn't get bad until my depression got bad

>>8419976

Welcome to the club, OP. I'm 21, balding already, and 6'11". Makes me think about going down too.

>>8426750
That sucks anon

>>8426560
I got gender problems when I was 7-8 and my parents told me in every possible way that I shouldn't transition. Even took me to a therapist after years of saying I shouldn't be a girl to.. make me tell a therapist I didn't want to be?

I lied to everyone and kept wanting to be a girl to myself and the depression got worse and worse. Shit I've been on hormones for 5 years and I'm the furthest from everyone that hurt me and I'm still depressed as hell.

>>8419976
nobody is normal

the literal only reason I decided to go through with it was because otherwise, y only other plan in life was to kill myself, had my suicide planned since age 7, failed 3 times, however. I saw no other outcome, so why the hell not? Now I've got a BF who I managed to accidentally convert. I have a career, I am pleased with my body to a degree. I can actually have sex without throwing up about myself. Life's good.

>>8427794
Wow I hope my life turns out like yours did

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>>8430004

Cheers Anon. I'm pulling for you
if you got nothing to lose, you can't be upset, the way I see it

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Im gonna be a hon my face although feminine for a man is way too masculine to be a girl (just big and long 7 inches) with a high hairline. Im literally fucked.


I can't be a girl because I'm a dude but I can't be a guy because I hate being a dude, my life sucks atm.


Im gonna give HRT a try stil as I'm still early on, nearly 2 months, so I am being impatient. but my fat face won't change.


I just hate being alive, If i don't end up passing, and If I have a low-paying job in the future I'm probably gonna kill myself. Least that will show my family how fucked up I am

>>8432455
>tfw from my hairline to chin it's just about 8 inches
My hairline is absolute shit that and my face is wide. I do have a pretty fem body though.

>>8432552
Yeah Im hoping my facial fat changes will be enough to help me along, but I think Im just gonna end up a femboy, which isnt too bad.

My body was feminine until I got into bodybuilding to repress myself, worst decision I made......

Are low cheekbones a male or female characteristic? Will this hon me or grill me?

Ive heard thats its masculine, but also an attractive trait.


Also how to tell if my jawline is weak?

>>8419976
Work on being normal then. There's more to life than your gender identity. You probably think this is untrue at this stage in your life though because you've been consumed by these thoughts.
My honest advice is to seek therapy and get on some anti depressants and use that mood boost to find the things in life that you enjoy.
Also consider doing psychedelics so you can think introspectively and see if the reason you want to be a woman is because of underlying issues. I recommend this because it helped a shit ton with my self esteem and made me want to strive to be a real man (I had thoughts of being transgender for ~2years; this was 4 years ago).

>>8432681
Weak jawlines kind of cave into your face. Not sure about the cheekbones thing, I think it depends on how they complement the rest of your face (could be wrong about that though). Biggest thing that differentiates males and females is the brow. Girls have a relatively flat brow while men get the caveman look. Nose makes a big difference too.

>>8432717
Yeah i got a flat brow but I still look like a dude lol.

I mean if I get slightly chubby and my jawline vanishes does this mean I've got a weak jawline?

>>8419976
I really wish there was a sticky that read something like "If dysphoria is making you suicidal, get IC and HRT ASAP." with all the links provided in HRTgen listed. I'm so tired of you whiny little bitches crying about how you'll never pass yet you haven't even taken the first and most logical step of HRT. Grow up, stop acting like child with no agency and fucking do something about it. I went into HRT knowing I'd never pass and since doing so my dysphoria has reduced enough to allow me to go to work and get through my day. Take your pills and stop making these threads

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>>8419976
>>8419985
>no chance of passing
reminder that if these 2 can get praised by millions and have a great life so can you

>>8432892
I mean you can definitely get rid of any jawline if you get fat, and you can make any jawline look 'strong' if you're low enough body fat %. But yea if getting only slightly overweight causes your jawline to vanish then you probably have a weak jawline.

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>>8433482
>cam-whoring
>a great life

kek

>>8433526
i didn't know having successful youtube channels and getting a shitload of money for a movie just about how you grew up as a tranny is considered as having a bad life but ok

>>8433391
Do you still not pass?

>>8433646
Pfft, of course not, I had a male puberty + shit (masc) genetics

The point I'm making is that you'd be surprised what HRT can do for your dysphoria even if it isn't magic for passing

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>>8433631
>money is the most important thing

millennials

>>8433519
not sure how I feel about that lol

>>8421347
23 isn't that bad. You could be 25 or 30..

>>8433526
>being a cis woman
>having a great life

>>8433749
>tfw 24 almost 25

>>8419976
Committing suicide is not the way to go. You will end up in eternal blackness forever. You should focus on money like some millennials do. Let Dan Pena guide you to a new happy life.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYk18h1o5T0

>>8433794
>eternal blackness
sounds comfy tbqh

>>8433832
No! Let Dan Pena guide you to the light!

>>8433482
Id never want to look like that, I'd rather look like Hari

>>8433631
You know you can be a successful jewtubber or media star cause you are a total freak and people watch you for a dose of cringe.

>>8433910
still better than sitting at home in your room crying about how you look and what you are
i'd rather be a freak with millions and a well known name

>>8433631
>basing your entire identity off of the fact that youre trans
No pun intended but fucking pass

>>8434616
If you can't pass you can't pass on that

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>>8419976
Well, better work on those gains right away. If you can't be the sub, be the dom.