Closeted and Miserable

>>8314264
How are you transitioning if you're in the closet?

>>8314322
I'm not transitioning, I'm a cis girl.

>>8314369
You mean you're ftm? You can call yourself a guy here.

>>8314385
She said already she was cis...

She's looking for lesbians dumbass.

>>8314443
He probably meant natal female but doesn't know all the terms yet. Don't pick on him for that, he'll have enough stress from his family.

Unless you mean he's repressing and living as a lesbian?

>>8314443
I think they are just fucking with me. That's fine. I mostly just want to know if I am doomed to loneliness or being a shitty partner for someone.

>>8314455
Why don't you just abandon your crazy family and live free?

>>8314480
Because despite it all my parents sacrificed a lot for me. I'd feel like a shitty daughter especially as they are aging and will need someone to care for them. I'm hoping that falls on one of my siblings and I can just be distant financial support instead.

>>8314514
Make an excuse to move away!

Send them money and xmas cards (or whatever) if you feel you owe them that much, but make new social media and new life in your new home where you can be out and proud and have a proper shot at finding a relationship.

>>8314264
I mean I don't care if a girl is closeted as long as her family doesn't come murder me. I expect we'd be far enough from her family that I'll be able to hold her hand in public.

>>8314548
Yeah, I've still done things like held hands in public, even kissed, been couply... but when I get to meet my partner's parents and they don't get to meet mine, or the thought of asking them to pretend to be my roommate and possibly hurting them, I just fear it. I don't know how people especially in "western" culture view people like me, I want to be seen as trustworthy and someone to invest in because it's not like I'll go off with a man. My parents don't expect me to ever get married anymore as I've hit past their weird young age for that.

>>8314542
I'm just afraid of not compartmentalizing my life properly. My siblings are dumb social media whores and I don't want anyone outing me accidentally or people tracking me or finding me. I don't have a facebook or anything involving visual media because of this, I'm terrified of relatives finding out I'm gay because they've already done crazy things to people I know for that reason.

I have moved across the country from them at least and do plan on just sending them money but never living with them again. I've just always had to live with secrets so adding another one (living with a girl and having to lie to my parents about it) makes me feel like it'll suck.

But it'll be fine as long as I don't feel like I'm making a girl miss out on something.

>>8314558
It depends on the girl. Before you get into a relationship you should let them know straight up.
I used to be closeted lesbian but I came out for my girlfriend. My girlfriend didn't do the same for me, I'm not going to lie it did sting...

>>8314687
I have known people in your position and I sympathize. It's why I don't want to put a woman through that. But I definitely plan on letting a woman know if I ever enter a serious relationship...

>>8314558
Which culture?

>>8314453
fucking lol

>>8314558
With all the social media I doubt you can keep it a secret forever, OP. I would be planning as if being outed was an inevitability. It only takes one careless photo or thoughtless post by a friend...

>>8314514
Honestly don't feel so guilty. When you move away write a letter telling them you're gay or phone it in. Let that info kinda sit with them for a year. You're an adult I assume, no longer financially dependent on them. If they cut ties that's on them not you.

My family/culture is kinda shitty too. I was horribly in the closet to my family. For a while they cut me off and eventually came around after they sorta realized I wasn't gonna convert back just because they cut me off.

Like you say you won't leave them because you love them and they sacrificed for you but in OP you're wishing for their death so you can be free. So fuck it just out yourself, let them cut you off, and it'll hurt for a good while but trust me that freedom feels so fucking good and one day you can build your own family on your own terms.

Like it's not "it gets better" but more "it changes". The way your family and life is today isn't going to remain the same, that's the only thing you can be sure of.

>>8314264
I tried this once, but not many of us would. It was probably the hardest breakup Ive ever gone through, so never again.

Maybe try finding another closeted girl? I don't know how you would do that but it could be fun.