Dysphoria over personality

>>8306629
Explain your masculine, male personality features?

>I understand that the latest wave of thought is that females can have the same personalities males do, and its true to some extent; but like all sexual dimorphisms, some personality traits run along a bell curve.
Why do you think that is so? Why do you think you have a male bell curved personality despite being trans?

>>8306652
It's mostly related to the way I process information and socially interact. I have never seen a female who does it quite the same way I do, like odd strings of incoherent, eccentric intuitive thought.

I have observed several autistic females and they all process information in a distinctly more female part of that spectrum.

>>8306662
Please give specifics about your thinking and that of the autistic females?

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>>8306676
Let me put it this way;
They like Persona 5
I like Europa Universalis 4

>>8306687
I don't know the first thing about either of those games!

>>8306696
One is an autistic turn based game with fashion and social simulator.

One is a supremely autistic strategy game where you manage a budget, an army, diplomacy, and so on.

>>8306707
So the distinction between your male autistic tastes their their female autistic tastes are preferences for managing a budget and military strategy vs fashion and social simulation?

I'm not convinced. Games are all abstract. Your different tastes could be game mechanics independent of fashion vs military or could be just gender socialized tastes for the theme ignoring the mechanics.

>>8306729
the distinction is that when you socialize with me you get a distinct male presence. I cant describe it adequately, im not that smart socially. its just extremely male vibes in certain ways

no it is not socialization its just how our minds function differently just like how my brow protrudes and theirs is flat

>>8306740
Gah, I wish you could explain it better so I could get a proper idea of the male presence/vibes.

>>8306629
you're a man, buddy, thats just the way it is. socialised male and not even attempting to do it. the dresses you wear are just a man soul cover to the sewer that is your male self. dude if you're always 'one of the guys' then chances are you're just a guy

>>8306746
Here's a little insight that also touches on what I'm talking about

>Already Pelphrey is seeing fascinating differences in autistic girls in his preliminary research. “The most unusual thing we keep finding is that everything we thought we knew in terms of functional brain development is not true,” he says. “Everything we thought was true of autism seems to only be true for boys.” For example, many studies show that the brain of a boy with autism often processes social information such as eye movements and gestures using different brain regions than a typical boy's brain does. “That's been a great finding in autism,” Pelphrey says. But it does not hold up in girls, at least in his group's unpublished data gathered so far.

>Pelphrey is discovering that girls with autism are indeed different from other girls in how their brain analyzes social information. But they are not like boys with autism. Each girl's brain instead looks like that of a typical boy of the same age, with reduced activity in regions normally associated with socializing. “They're still reduced relative to typically developing girls,” Pelphrey says, but the brain-activity measures they show would not be considered “autistic” in a boy. “Everything we're looking at, brain-wise, now seems to be following that pattern,” he adds. In short, the brain of a girl with autism may be more like the brain of a typical boy than that of a boy with autism.

>>8306748
I'm a girl with an awful brain condition, you bigot

>>8306755
That's extremely interesting. Do you have more relevant excerpts like that?

FTMs are notoriously autistic...

>>8306774
I'm aware of FtM autism, but I'm not sure if you can describe it as being equivalent to male autism. Someone would like to weigh in maybe? I'm not purely an autistic, I have mixed high functioning autism, adhd, and depression.

In any case not every feature of my personality fits this pattern, just like my body, some things are more leaning into female territory; some into male.

The way I build rapport with people, relate, react, and feel, about things, it can be quite male... its just more.. territorial? I don't know. I have quite the nurturing streak though, my affectations can be quite femme naturally, its an odd mashup.

>>8306823
Affectation is a bad word, meant to say my quirks

>>8306629
I can relate to you OP. I'm also autistic and feel my personality is masculine. Not overtly masculine but enough that it clearly reads as male. Nerdy guy rather than dudebro. I guess I have some feminine traits, but I honestly can't tell whether they're forced or I'm just hyperaware of them (when they manifest naturally), and I think they come across as effeminate rather than genuinely feminine anyway. The personality itself hurts, both for knowing that I'm lacking femininity in itself and for the consequences of having the personality: the fact that it hurts my ability to pass, hurts the legitimacy of my transsexualism in the eyes of pretty much everyone, and makes me feel distant from and unable to properly relate to women. Maybe I'd feel better if I were more comfortable with myself? I can't even see that happening unless I pass well enough to live as a woman like normal, which I won't. My personality changing substantially doesn't seem too likely even then, but I'm at least open to the possibility; without that I really can't imagine it.

The worst part though, I think, is what it represents: I doubt it's all down to socialisation; my brain must have been masculinised for me to be this way. Male levels of testosterone were in my brain. They were in my fucking brain for years and I'm so so scared of how it's permanently changed me. Before I got HRT it drove me crazy in the moment too, just knowing it, trying to zone out and not think about it, but always knowing and feeling on some subconscious level that beyond just my body slowly being destroyed, my mind was too. It almost hurts more than the physical features do, even if I don't know exactly how it's affected me or even for sure whether it has at all.

I don't think I can offer any advice, nor can I clarify my feelings or the specific aspects of my personality any better than you can, but at least I can offer some reassurance that someone else can empathise with you and doesn't judge you poorly.

>>8306687
i know more trans females that love eu4 than i know cis people so idk its pretty easy to assume you have gender issues

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If you want a passing personality you should just try being submissive and overly soft and caring. You'll be surprised how well it works.

>>8306687
You ruined any chance you had at creating a good stance when you pulled this made-for-2017 'analogy'. Now you're just going to get memed at for being an autist.

>>8307132
Examples please.

>>8307132
what if I cant, Im triggered by everything and very fighty and been like that from the early childhood
Im very emotional and overreact all the time

>>8307181
>Im very emotional and overreact all the time
You're literally describing a woman, kek.

>>8306755
>the brain of a girl with autism may be more like the brain of a typical boy than that of a boy with autism
hence many FtMs are autistic

>>8307209
the key difference is that its typical for men to argue/fight all the time even about trifles
and I notice that every time an argument happens women tend to give up and don't care much, while all the men/boys just HAVE to argue back and try to win and Im always doing that and cant get over it

I'm ftm and though I don't have a feminine "aura" and my thoughts/thought patterns are male, I'm really quiet and usually passive, which isn't typical male. I'm really insecure about that too.

>>8307133
What? It's an accurate analogy. Cis females almost never have the type of autism that makes you want to pour hundreds of hours into looking at a map

>>8306755
>tfw cis boys are literally equivalent to autistic women
Are cis women a superior race?

>>8311163
superior at emotional connection and empathy - all the things that autists lack